The City Affair

by Helen Crossfield

  “Well he did have us to think about, you know. He did have ties,” Tish replied indignantly before asking. “So, did Dad agree to your plan?”

  “He seemed increasingly unsure,” Daphne replied with more composure. “I got angry with him. I just wanted Jake to be ok. I’d stopped worrying about me as much, but I feared that Jake needed him. We fell out on Christmas Eve and had a terrible row on Christmas Day when he refused to leave London. I heard nothing back from him after that at all even though I’d rung him frantically for over two weeks. Because of the holiday season I just thought he had gone to ground. Then Peter Heyworth rang and told me the news.”

  Tish put down her chopsticks and reached over to touch Daphne’s hand as she watched her face crumple. “It’s ok,” Tish said, visibly upset by what she had just heard and the look of torture on Daphne’s face. “And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have got so judgemental just now. I am going to have to get used to the fact that this must have upset you as much as it did me and mum.”

  As Tish sat in the restaurant holding Daphne’s hand, she reflected on the fact that she now knew most of the things she‘d come to New York to find out.

  “You must have had such a shock when Peter Heyworth rang,” Tish said finally after a few minutes silence. “Probably as big a one as we had when he told us about you and Jake.”

  “You bet. It was the last phone call in the world I expected to receive,” Daphne said. “I was expecting it to be your dad telling me it was all over and that he could not face leaving you and that he would not be coming to New York.”

  “I don’t think any of us will ever know what exactly was going through my father’s mind at the end,” Tish said philosophically. “I mean he seemed very confused when I spoke to him, and sad. It felt like he’d almost given up on life.”

  “I think things were getting him down,” Daphne said cautiously. “But he wasn’t a quitter. He’d have found a way round things if he could, but I’m afraid to say I was not nice to him in those last phone conversations, and I will never really be able to forgive myself for some of the things I said. The only way I am able to look at it all now is to imagine that he probably had an existing heart problem, and it’s that which took him in the end.”

  “Yes, I suppose,” Tish said, playing around with the left-over food on her plate.

  “If you’ve finished your lunch,” Daphne said, clearly keen on changing the subject, “we could stop by my apartment, change into some different clothes and go for a quick walk. I really want you to meet Jake.”

  Tish paused as she looked up at Daphne and replied. “I’m not sure I am ready for that yet Daphne. I’m sorry but I just don’t think I can meet Jake yet and I’m not even sure it will ever feel right, you’re just going to have to give me some time to think about what is the best thing to do – maybe one day but not today.”

  Chapter 17 - Fettuccine And Mushrooms

  “She seemed nice enough,” Tish said to Simon as she wrapped freshly cooked strands of creamy fettuccine and mushrooms around her fork and put the whole lot into her mouth in one go.

  “What on earth did you say to each other?” Simon said. “I mean it must have been so awkward, just the two of you. How the hell did she explain herself?”

  “In a very honest and direct way,” Tish replied. “According to Daphne, she’d wanted Dad to tell me and Mum about their relationship years ago. It had been Dad who hadn’t wanted to do it.”

  “Did she say why?” Simon asked as he cut into a huge piece of rare steak and took a large bite.

  “Basically, it all seemed to come down to the fact he didn’t want to break up the family unit,” Tish replied. “She told me it had something to do with Dad’s background being so dysfunctional. Apparently, Dad’s father was an alcoholic and so was Daphne’s mother.”

  “But that’s crazy,” Simon said. “I mean he was an intelligent man. He must have known this would eventually come out.”

  “I did point that out,” Tish said, finishing her plate of pasta. “But Daphne just fudged it by saying love and life were complicated and that they fell in love around 9/11 when their whole world was a bit upside down.”

  “Well that’s certainly true,” Simon said, arching an eyebrow as he chewed his steak and looked across at Tish. “I mean all relationships are complex. Ours isn’t exactly easy is it?”

  Tish looked down at the table cloth and squirmed at the irony of her own dysfunction only now hitting her between the eyes.

  She hadn’t told Simon about being seduced by Cameron McKenna, and it suddenly felt awkward remembering. That whole thing in the limousine had been damned complex, and she really wanted to forget it had ever happened.

  “But we’ve only been going out for just over a year, so you can hardly make any comparison with ours,” Tish said forthrightly before feeling the need to backtrack, remembering everything Simon had done for her since her father’s death. “At least I found out that my half-brother’s name is Jake. He’s six. Daphne really wanted me to meet him but I said no. I think she was really disappointed.”

  “A bit presumptuous I suppose,” Simon replied. “But, take all the really difficult family stuff away, and you have a small boy without a father who is probably in need of as many friends and relations around him as possible.”

  “And if all of this didn’t have anything to do with my family, I would be much more sympathetic,” Tish said. “But I just keep thinking about Mum and what all this has done to her. She’s the one who’s really been duped in all of this.”

  “Have you told your mum yet that you went to New York and that you met Daphne?” Simon asked.

  “God, no way! I think it would break her heart. I just said I was going away for a few days to get some sun,” Tish replied. “I know it’s wrong to tell lies, especially as she’s had a life of them, but I had to go to New York for my own reasons.”

  “But isn’t that part of the problem?” Simon said. “You’ve just said it yourself. You can’t carry on the lies, Tish, and hide away from the truth. It’s not going to hurt your mum any more than she has already been hurt. Why can’t you tell her you went and saw Daphne to get some stuff sorted out in your head?”

  “Because it feels like I was going behind her back and showing allegiance to Dad’s bloody mistress,” Tish replied.

  “No it doesn’t,” Simon said. “You said yourself that you went to try and find answers.”

  “I know,” Tish said, sighing heavily. “It’s just that I have such a close bond with Mum and I don’t want to upset her more than she is already.”

  “Well I don’t agree. You should say something,” Simon said. “It’s got to be better than lying.”

  “I have absolutely no idea what I would say to Mum,” Tish said. “I mean if I tell her I wanted to meet Dad’s mistress and his child, I can’t be sure how she is going to react.”

  “Is it because you are frightened you will start to get so involved that you don’t want to meet him?” Simon asked.

  “Yes, probably something like that,” Tish said. “If I see him and love him I will want him in my life and it will be difficult to do that if Mum doesn’t want anything to do with the child and feels disappointed in me in the process.”

  “You need to think about things a bit more then,” Simon reasoned. “When you meet him, unless he is a complete brat, it will be difficult to just meet him once.”

  “Do you really think so?” Tish asked wide-eyed.

  “Absolutely,” Simon smiled as he looked up and took Tish’s hand across the table. “You are a Thorpe and so is he.”

  “Um,” Tish said. “Well I don’t intend going back to New York in a hurry. I have done what I needed to do for now, and I feel better for it but I don’t have any big plans to return. I need to find my next acting gig and get through Easter.”

  “God, it’s unbelievable to think its three months since your dad died and we are coming up to Easter,” Simon said. “Are you going home?”

 
“Of course I am,” Tish said, looking surprised. “I’m not going to let Mum spend it all alone. It’s the weekend after next, and I’ve already arranged to go down. Mum’s told me she’s got a few outings arranged. You’re very welcome to come along as well if you want?”

  “I’d love to,” Simon said. “It would be nice to see your mum again and spend a bit of time with you as well. If the weather’s good we can maybe do some day trips and get some good long walks in.”

  “Yes, that’s a good idea,” Tish said, smiling at the thought. “Kent is always so beautiful in springtime. It’s my favourite time of year down there. The daffodils will all be out and the primroses in the hedgerows.”

  “Ok, then, that’s decided. We can travel down on Good Friday and have three days there so long as your mother doesn’t mind me coming as well?” Simon asked.

  “I’m sure Mum would love to see you,” Tish smirked. “She really likes you, and you know she’d absolutely love it, so don’t be such a big tease.”

  “Please don’t sound so surprised,” Simon laughed, before adding. “I mean despite what you might think, I’m actually quite a good bloke.”

  “I know,” Tish replied sleepily. “You’re a very good bloke, and I probably don’t deserve to be with you.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that,” Simon replied chuckling. “Do you want to come over tonight just for fun?”

  “Er, I’m a bit jet-lagged to be honest,” Tish said, stumbling over her words. She hadn’t yet told Simon about Cameron and she couldn’t face the prospect of going back to his flat and pretending everything was normal when she’d actually two-timed him. The thought of her own double life brought her out into a sweat and she found Simon’s insistence excruciating.

  “Oh, come on,” Simon urged. “I really want us to get our own relationship back on track. We haven’t had any time together for ages.”

  “Let’s get Easter over with first and then we can get back to normal,” Tish replied, wondering how on earth she was ever going to be able to tell him about Cameron without losing him.

  Chapter 18 - Easter

  Huge clumps of bright yellow daffodils rippled gently in the breeze as they drove along the country lanes of Kent. A few miles off the motorway, Simon stopped by a grassy bank and took the roof off his car as glorious spring sunshine burst through the morning clouds.

  “It doesn’t get much better than this,” he shouted above the roar of his engine as he pushed his foot down on the accelerator once again. “There is something about Easter that’s so much better than any other time of year. How does it feel going back home?”

  “The sunshine certainly makes me feel tons better.” Tish smiled lazily as she stretched her legs out in front of her and looked across at him. “I’m not sure I feel any better about losing Dad, just resigned to what happened. Mum seems quite a bit brighter though, so that’s good.”

  “Great news,” Simon agreed, nodding his head as Tish spoke. “She could have become really bitter after she found out what had been going on behind her back. I respect her a lot for just getting on with things. I mean it takes a lot of courage and strength to put something like that behind you. She’s managed things really well, much better than I expected when you first told me.”

  “Yep,” Tish agreed. “Telling the village about Daphne and Jake must have been the worst bit for her. But I think the vicar helped. He told the right people in the right order, and Mum said they were all genuinely sympathetic, although you never know what people really say about you behind closed doors. She hasn’t had any shortage of visitors, and I think that helps.”

  “I’m sure Bernard Marshall has been one of them,” Simon smiled as the car breeze ruffled his hair.

  “Of course,” Tish said. “I call him Mr Nosy. He seems to be round there all the time. But there’ve been lots of other visitors, fortunately, to dilute his attention. Frances has been great and given her no end of advice. And Mum’s pretty much become a full-time dog walker for Bertie.”

  “She should get a dog of her own,” Simon said, concentrating on the road ahead. “They’re good company and loyal too, and they give you a reason to get up in the mornings.”

  “Well, I suspect Mum will think about getting one if anything happens to Bertie, but not before,” Tish replied. “Frances can’t get out much now, so mum takes him out first thing in the morning and in the evening as well. He’d been running off quite a bit and annoying the neighbourhood as he hadn’t been getting long enough walks.”

  “What your mum really needs is to meet someone else,” Simon said carefully as they got to the outskirts of Levenhurst. “I mean she is still young enough and is far too good looking to be single. There’s no reason why she couldn’t marry again. And there’s nothing to hold her back now either. I mean she is a really good catch and would make a wonderful wife for someone.”

  “Maybe,” Tish whispered as they turned into the drive. “Let’s just get the weekend over with first before you start planning to marry her off again. I just hope she bears up well and that Easter doesn’t remind her too much of Christmas and Dad.”

  “I’m sure everything will be fine,” Simon replied confidently as he turned off the engine. “I’m really looking forward to it, I mean your dad lived life to the full and he would not expect us to come down here this weekend and be miserable.”

  “True,” Tish said as she checked her hair out in the car mirror. “Here comes Mum right on cue, just as usual.”

  “Hello,” Pamela called out as she walked round from the back garden with Bertie in tow. “How lovely to see you both! Aren’t we lucky we’ve been blessed with the most wonderful day? And apparently, according to Bernard, it’s going to stay like this for the weekend.”

  “Oh well, if Bernard says it’s going to be sunny it will be,” said Tish, grinning as she got out of the car to hug her mother and Bertie. “We heard the forecast on the radio too. It’s been glorious overhead on the way down and I’ll give Bernard that. He does seem to get it right on all matters relating to the weather. I’m so pleased to see you Mum – you look great.”

  “Well, goodness,” Pamela said, reaching down to calm the dog as he jumped up madly at both of them, panting frantically. “The only thing I’ve been doing differently is walking Bertie twice a day, so that’s obviously doing me some good and hopefully him as well. And I‘ve been spending quite a bit of time in the garden, which has probably given me a bit of colour. Bernard has been helping me with the really back-breaking stuff.”

  “Can we sit out now at the back with Bertie?” Tish asked excitedly, ignoring the multiple mentions of Bernard as she bent back down to hug her favourite Labrador. “It’s so good to see you, Bertie old thing, now no running off to The Old Boar while we are here.”

  “Yes, good idea. I’ll get the chairs out and we can sit in the garden,” Pamela answered, laughing affectionately as Bertie licked Tish’s face. “We’ve got this naughty dog for the whole weekend because Frances has gone away on a retreat with the church.”

  “That sounds interesting,” Simon said, hugging Pamela. “Both having the dog and the retreat, is that something that the vicar is organising?”

  “Yes, it’s something they do every year, Pamela replied. “I was invited to go along, but I don’t think I’m ready for too much forgiveness and reflection at the moment. Shall we go through into the garden and I’ll get us some coffee?”

  “Sounds like just what the doctor ordered,” Simon replied smiling. “I’m in desperate need of caffeine and I just happen to love your coffee, so even better.”

  “Well, that’s because Richard always had to have it a certain way,” Pamela said, raising her eyebrows as she led them through the archway, which by summertime would be covered in pink roses. “How can I put this kindly? Let’s just say he had certain standards when it came to the coffee bean.”

  Tish looked up, expecting to see her mother’s face haunted by memories of the past but was surprised to see her eyes dancing
mischievously in the bright spring yellow sunlight.

  “I’m intrigued,” Simon said. “What kind of coffee bean standards are you referring to exactly?”

  “Excellent coffee was one of Richard’s… how can I put this… charming eccentricities,” Pamela continued. “We spent a fortune over the years trying to find the best in the world. When we eventually found the bean he thought was the best he bought so much of the stuff we could have opened up a shop.”

  “Um,” Tish said under her breath to Simon as her mother disappeared into a large glass greenhouse to fetch some garden chair covers. “I’d forgotten about the coffee beans. Something else you didn’t know about Dad.”

  “Don’t be like that and spoil everything,” Simon whispered back. “Your mum seems genuinely ok, and you might upset her if you start saying anything negative about your father. I mean an obsession with coffee beans is hardly a hanging offence!”

  She hadn’t meant to be sarcastic about her father. It had just come out. Tish had not forgiven him for what he’d done to them. And yet her mother seemed to be coping much better than she could have ever hoped and, surprisingly, much better than her.

  “Why don’t you put the bags upstairs Simon, and then come back down into the garden,” Pamela said as she put covers over three wrought iron cream chairs and dragged them round to face the sun. “Tish and I will get the coffee ready. We can have it with some special Easter cup-cakes I made for the WI baking day yesterday. I kept some back for us.”

  “Mum, you are a super star and never cease to amaze me. Those are my absolute favourites,” Tish said, hugging her mother whilst looking across at the weeping willow tree. Momentarily, she remembered her father lying dead in the snow underneath it. Closing her eyes, she tried hard to block out the memory.