Stone Solitude

by A C Warneke

  She hadn’t known – she hadn’t wanted to know – that Jon Sorensen held her in some affection. When she sang, it must have twisted his emotions somehow and his unrequited love became an obsession for someone he could never have. Even if she escaped, there would be no escape for Jon. He was going to become like the men of legends, languishing away at the bottom of the sea for a Siren. No, he was a feral wolf. There was no escape for him, only death.

  There was another thump against the door and this time it was followed by a loud crack. Tears tracked down her cheeks until she heard the bedroom door open. “Daisy?”

  Dominic! Without a thought of self-preservation, she threw open the bathroom door and bellowed, “Shift!”

  But Dominic had already shifted and he had Jon’s throat between his steel jaws. Despite being clearly defeated, Jon continued to struggle. A third wolf joined the fray. Jeanette. There were loud yips and bone breaking sounds and pained-filled howls and within seconds, the fight was over and Jon was dead. He should have shifted back but he must have been too feral, more animal than man, to make the change, leaving him forever stuck in his wolf form. Shifting back, Dominic looked to Jeanette, running his hands over her face, “Are you okay?”

  “Yes,” she breathed, running her hands over him as well. “Are you?”

  “Thank you,” Daisy breathed, unable to tear her gaze from poor Jon. He didn’t deserve such a fate but she didn’t know that he would have had a better ending if he had lived. Pressing a hand against her stomach, she frowned. Why was her belly wet? She swayed on her feet as she realized Jon had managed to mark her after all, just not in the way he had hoped. Now that she was aware of the wound, it hurt. A lot.

  Grabbing her robe off the bed, she slid her arms into the sleeves and tied it shut as she joined Dominic and Jeanette on the floor. She didn’t want to alarm them if her injury turned out to be insignificant. Or perhaps she wasn’t thinking clearly at all, since there was a dead wolf on her bedroom floor, a death for which she was responsible. “Um, I don’t know if now is the time to say anything but we need to head to Alaska next week. Unless you don’t want to go, of course….”

  “Alaska?” Jeanette asked, her eyes lit with excitement despite the dead body lying on the floor next to them. “It would be perfect.”

  Crap, they were going to go to Alaska. With her head pounding, Daisy realized the injury was worse than she suspected, since the blood was already soaking through her robe. Licking her lips, her eyes darted to Jon before she added, “Also, I think I might need to go to the hospital.”

  Dominic’s head shot up and he looked at her. Holding his gaze, she waited for him to ask what the problem was when he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. After a heartbeat, he swore before he wrapped his arms around Daisy and hefted her up off the floor. With a grim expression, he asked, “Jeanette, can you take care of this mess?”

  “I’ll call hotel security and let them know a wild… dog somehow got in,” she murmured, already taking charge of the situation as Dominic took care of Daisy.

  She was never going to sing again. Ever.

  Staring out across the small waterfalls to the pine trees that were so green against the white, snow-covered ground and the blue Alaskan sky, the sound of rushing water soothing his thoughts, the man knew two things: his name was Roman and he was a wolf, at least some of the time. He was almost certain that it hadn’t always been that way because it had freaked him the fuck out when his wolf first whispered in his head, to say nothing of the first time he shifted. If it hadn’t been for the pack Alpha and one of the elders, he doubted he would have survived the transition. Of course, he could have been born a wolf and had just forgotten, though that didn’t feel right.

  He had been living with his pack for over a year, ever since he woke up in the hospital with no memory of who he was or where he came from or even how old he was. They guessed his age to be somewhere between twenty-four and twenty-seven, though sometimes he felt ancient, as if he had lived a hundred lifetimes and was worse for the wear. Occasionally, he had fucked up dreams of a different time and a different place, of being a man, of being a beast, of flying through the air, of living in squalor.

  Then there were the dreams of a girl with flashing silver eyes, a heart-melting smile, and these were the dreams that were driving him mad. She seemed so real that he could feel her in his arms, taste her on his lips, and when he woke, the ghost of her remained. But she couldn’t possibly exist. A creature that luscious was surely the creation of his fevered imagination.

  Maybe he just needed to get laid. He had no idea how long it had been since the last time he had sex, since he hadn’t been with anyone since waking up in the hospital. Who knew how long it had been before that? It could have been days or years or maybe he had been a monk and had never had sex and he was a virgin, though that didn’t feel right either. Without knowing who he was, he hadn’t wanted the drama of a relationship, even a strictly casual, no-strings-attached, kind of relationship. But now…. There were plenty of offers from the beautiful females in his pack. Unfortunately, none of them were her.

  Curiously, there was an odd little creature that frequently brought Roman gifts. He called himself Xerec and guilt burned in his eyes whenever he looked at Roman. Roman briefly considered the possibility that they knew each other from before but whenever he asked, he was met with silence. The creature opened his mouth but never said anything before he looked away and simply shook his head no and handed Roman another gift. The gifts always had daisies on them, from the paintings that now hung in his living room to the purses that he had no use for. It seemed that if an item had a daisy on it, the creature gave it to him.

  It was very strange and yet somehow very fitting.

  Daisies. They were his favorite flower, so delicate and surprisingly strong and resilient.

  In the time since he had woken up, he had established a decent life for himself, getting a job at the local bar where the wolves liked to hang out, renting a small apartment close by, and making a couple of good friends. Despite the fact that it felt as if something were missing, it was a good life. A peaceful life. Now he wanted someone to share it with, someone who was real and not a fantasy. Unfortunately, he wasn’t ready to give up his fantasy, not when she was the embodiment of everything he hungered for: warm and sweet, sensual and tantalizing. She was a temptation he could not resist, even if she wasn’t real.

  But it was the hidden waterfalls where he spent his free time. It was a special place he discovered on one of his first runs as a wolf. He had gotten lost… no, he had wanted to get lost because it was too difficult living amongst strangers and being a stranger to himself. It was a struggle trying to get through the day not knowing who he was and he had just wanted it to end and so he ran. But then he crashed through the heavy woods and saw this paradise and something warm settled in his soul, telling him he was going to be alright. During the summer months, the water sparkled and even though it was frigid, he swam in the calm pool. Now that it was getting colder, he didn’t risk freezing off his junk for a quick swim. Even a hot-blooded wolf had his limits.

  Breathing deep of the cold and clean air, he closed his eyes and let his worries go. He could spend days up there, weeks if he thought he could get away with it, because the loss of all of his memories didn’t bother him so much when the sound of water drowned out his thoughts. Up here, he could see her just a little clearer and it didn’t matter if she wasn’t real. He knew he’d have to give her up if he wanted to start any kind of relationship with one of the wolves but he didn’t have to do it just yet.

  “I should have known I’d find you here,” Xavier, his mentor and best friend, said, loping over the ground to join Roman on the edge of the waterfalls.

  Xavier sat down, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs as he stared out over the visage. The wolf was ancient, with long silver hair and deep wrinkles from living a hard life, but he was also wise, intelligent, and sharp as a freaking t
ack; nothing got by him. The wolves looked to him for his wisdom, though he kept so much to himself. His secrets ran deep and the man would disappear for weeks at a time, though he always seemed to appear whenever Roman needed him. Luckily, Roman’s panic attacks were virtually a thing of the past and he was settling into his new life.

  Releasing a sigh of deep contentment, Xavier murmured, “This place is so peaceful. I can understand why you want to spend all of your time here.”

  “Yes,” Roman said with a grin, breathing in the crisp, clean scent. Leaning back on his arms, he glanced at Xavier and asked, “So, what brings you here? Is there a problem within the pack?”

  “Nothing so dire as that,” Xavier grinned, his hazel eyes sparkling. “I’ve been informed that we are going to have some visitors in a few days and I’ve come to see if you’re ready to deal with a few more strangers.”

  “You came all of this way to warn me?” Roman asked in amazement, oddly touched by his friend’s gesture. Of course, Roman had been a mess when he had woken up and at the time he had tried keeping his distance from everyone. But he was doing better now, in large part thanks to Xavier.

  “It was the least I could do,” Xavier said, which was ridiculous because Roman was so far in the man’s debt that he’d never dig himself out. But Xavier was the type of wolf who didn’t keep score, because that was just who he was. Xavier hesitated a heartbeat too long and Roman knew he had more to say. After a moment, Xavier continued in a halting manner, “I’m not sure if you’re ready or not but I think it’s important for you to be there. It’s important to establish connections to other packs.”

  “Then I’ll be there,” Roman said easily, in the back of his mind the ever-present hope that she would be there. It was ridiculous and irrational but there it was. A slight smile tipped his lips at the fanciful thought even if he still wasn’t convinced she was real.

  Xavier chuckled as he clapped Roman on the back. “That’s what I like about you, son, your willingness to dive right in without hesitation.”

  Even though Xavier had called him ‘son’ a million times, it still surprised him and pleased him in equal measure. There was also a twinge of pain because he didn’t know who his father was, if the man was still alive or if he was long gone. He didn’t know if there were people out there looking for him or if he was all alone in the world. It had been Xavier who had taught him how to let go of the past and move forward, saying that if his past was meant to be remembered, it would happen and not to force it.

  Strangely, Roman took comfort in the words, in the knowledge he had made peace whether or not he remembered. Well, mostly. There was still the girl. She was the only reason he hadn’t completely moved on. Maybe once the snow became so high that it was impossible to go very far, he’d take one of the females up on their offers. It would be nice to share body heat with someone over the long, frozen winter.

  Why the possibility of spending the cold nights wrapped up in the arms of a warm woman caused him to nearly fall to his knees in despair he didn’t know. Ignoring the disquiet in his gut, he cleared his throat, “When are they expected to arrive?”

  “A few days,” Xavier answered, his hazel eyes studying Roman like they always did. “So make sure you head back in time to get cleaned up. You’re starting to look a little ragged around the edges.”

  Roman scrubbed his fingers through his heavy beard and laughed. He had forgotten about the golden scruff that covered half his face. It had itched like mad when he first started growing the damn thing out but after the previous winter with no facial hair…. Well, he would take any extra layer of warmth he could get. “I’ll shave when the snow melts. Maybe.”

  Xavier cringed but he was quick to hide the reaction and Roman wondered if there was more to his visit than Xavier was saying. “I have industrial grade clippers. They won’t chew up your face too badly, at least not enough to scare any of the ladies away.”

  “I’m not shaving,” Roman grinned. Lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper even though they were alone in the wilderness, he added, “And if I decide to take one of the females to mate, it won’t matter how hairy or chewed up my face is.”

  “With that confidence, you should be the Alpha,” Xavier grinned.

  Roman sat back and shook his head no. “I’m just learning how to take care of myself. There’s no way in hell I could lead a pack. At least, not yet. Give me a few years.”

  Xavier tossed his head back and laughed, his long silver hair gleaming in the sunlight. “Should I warn Henderson to watch his back?”

  “Not yet,” Roman said. Staring out over the horizon, not seeing the beauty that usually brought peace to his soul, he asked, “Do you think I have family out there?”

  Xavier hesitated a moment before he said, “It’s a possibility.”

  Roman nodded, accepting the weak answer without dwelling on it. Licking his lips, he glanced at Xavier out of the corner of his eye and asked, “Do you think I had a wife? Children?”

  Xavier hesitated even longer before he shook his head no. “I don’t think you had either.”

  “Then why do I dream about a girl who seems more real to me than I do?” he asked, watching as Xavier swallowed thickly. He hadn’t said anything before because he didn’t want Xavier to think he was mad for chasing after a dream. But now, he needed his mentor’s advice. “My dreams are coming more frequently, to the point that sometimes I don’t know whether or not I’m still sleeping. And when I wake up, I ache with longing for her. I miss her and she doesn’t even exist.”

  Xavier muttered something under his breath that sounded like, “Perhaps you’re more ready than I thought.”

  “Pardon?” Roman asked, not quite certain he heard correctly.

  “Nothing,” Xavier said with a wide smile as he pushed himself to his feet. Being a wolf had become so second nature to Roman that he hadn’t even noticed that the old man had been naked the entire time. While Roman was absurdly comfortable in his own skin, in fact it seemed almost as if it was his natural state, it was too damn cold not to bring clothes. How the old wolf handled the icy wind on his nether parts was beyond Roman and not something he wanted to spend too much time contemplating. “I should get back. Think about getting cleaned up, son.”

  With that, Xavier shifted into a gorgeous silver wolf that looked far younger than the man had been. With a happy yip, the beast loped out of there with a youthful gait, taking to the treacherous terrain with ease. Stroking his beard, Roman stared out over the fiercely beautiful falls and mused over Xavier’s words. But no matter how hard he tried, she seeped into his thoughts with her beckoning smile, making his heart lurch in longing.

  Chapter 22

  Had she realized just how freaking cold Alaska was going to be, Daisy definitely would have asked if the favor could be put off until summer. Despite spending an extra week in Hawaii trying to build up an immunity to the cold, and to heal, she was still unable to deal with the frigid weather. And it was only November. Shivering inside of the heavy down parka, she could barely breathe as she followed the guide to the tavern-slash-hotel they were going to be staying for the next two weeks. Even her brother and Jeanette were feeling the cold as they cuddled as close as their coats would allow. Daisy had accepted, or very nearly so, the fact that she might never know the warmth of her wolf, which would have really come in handy in Alaska.

  The only bright spot was she had a legitimate excuse to decline the Alpha’s proposal. That is if he decided he liked what he saw and he wanted her for his mate. After the incident with Jon, her parents had been adamant that she should skip Alaska and return home. But her dad was right when he had asked the favor of her; it was important to establish lines of communication between the two packs. Besides, after what happened in Hawaii, she wasn’t ready to face her parents, especially since they’d be so damn understanding and supportive. Surprisingly, she was healing remarkably fast so maybe she wasn’t a complete wash as a wolf. Just as a Siren, a lover, and person.

>   “I bet this place is an awesome run as a wolf,” Dominic called out, his words freezing in the air.

  Unable to think through the frozen sludge of her brain, Daisy merely grunted while their guide grinned, “It is that, my boy! Miles of pristine wilderness, as far as the eye can see.”

  As long as the eye didn’t mind being frozen, Daisy mumbled to herself. But they were right and if it weren’t for the cold, Alaska would be perfect. Maybe she’d visit during the summer months and explore the savage beauty when it was warmer.

  The guide opened the door to the tavern and a blast of warm heat came from within. Daisy sighed in relief, already unzipping her parka before she fully entered. “Heaven.”

  “Stay awhile longer and your blood will thicken up,” the guide chuckled.

  “I doubt my blood will ever be thick enough,” she returned with an easy grin, pushing the hood off her head and getting her first look at the rustic tavern. It was very utilitarian, with wood paneling and pillars and plenty of bar stools and tables for the locals. There weren’t a lot of frills but it had a huge fireplace with a glorious fire burning and giving off tons of warmth. Her feet automatically made their way over, hoping to thaw out before she did anything else.

  “Do you want something to drink?” Dominic asked from the bar, sliding onto a stool next to Jeanette.

  “I’m good,” she called back, pulling off the mittens from her hands with her teeth. It was still early enough in the day that most of the town was working but she knew that eventually they’d all make their way to the tavern. At least, that was what the guide had told her. Since her brain was frozen, she never quite got his name and she felt stupid asking him to repeat it. She’d just ask Dominic or Jeanette once they went up to their rooms.

  Closing her eyes, she breathed in the warmth, feeling it reach the deepest, coldest parts of her body. Maybe she would just stand in front of the fire all night and thaw out completely. The other patrons shouldn’t mind too much since most, if not all, of them were wolves and probably didn’t need the extra warmth.