Stone Solitude

by A C Warneke

  “Here,” a rough voice said. Looking over her shoulder, she saw an old man standing there, watching her with an inscrutable expression. He had long, silver hair and a million wrinkles and although he was a stranger, there was something familiar about him. At her questioning look, he nodded towards the chair and offered a smile, “You’ll be more comfortable if you sit.”

  She smiled as a wave of warmth that didn’t come from the fire moved through her. Sitting down, she murmured, “Thank you.”

  Instead of leaving her, he grabbed a second chair and sat down right next to her, effectively blocking out the rest of the bar for a private conversation he apparently wanted to have. Lowering his voice, he leaned into her space, “It’s good to see you once again, my dear girl.”

  Tilting her head to the side, she studied him a little more carefully and gasped when she saw his eyes, his uniquely hazel eyes. Covering her mouth, she leaned closer and whispered, “Apollo?”

  His answering smile was all of the confirmation she needed. At once, she started looking around the mostly empty bar, knowing that if Apollo was here, his son had to be close by. The man chuckled, “He’s not here, Daisy. Not yet. I’ve come to ask for my payment.”

  Her head jerked around and her eyes clashed with his. Licking her lips, she asked, “What do you want?”

  He smiled a sad smile as he murmured, “Be kind to him.”

  Her forehead furrowed and she arched an eyebrow, “Pardon? Why wouldn’t I be kind?”

  “Here’s the thing,” he said, not quite meeting her eyes. “He was a mess when he woke up….”

  “Understandably so,” she murmured, guilt still twisting her guts because she wasn’t there when he finally woke up since Apollo had taken him and she had no idea where he was. Hence the many, many trips. Anger mixed with the guilt as she glared at the man who stole her Roman away.

  “Easy now, pet,” he said with a wry grin, holding his hands up. “If you had been there, it would have shattered him. We’ve discussed this.”

  “No,” she countered. “You simply told me that was what would happen and you didn’t give me a chance to convince you otherwise. You might have been wrong, you know.”

  “I wasn’t wrong,” he said, his words sympathetic. “Only, I might have… miscalculated the amount of time it would take him to heal.”

  Her eyes narrowed and even without her wolf, she could have ripped his throat out for keeping her from Roman.

  “Daisy, calm yourself,” he chuckled. “Taking him away from you was the right thing to do and I stand by that decision. However, unbeknownst to everyone, your wolf apparently claimed him when you bit him. He burns for you but he doesn’t think you exist. All I am asking is for you to go slow. And to be kind.”

  “I have been searching everywhere for him….”

  “I know and I have shielded him until now,” he interrupted, holding her eyes, giving her the briefest glimpse of the power he kept well contained. As she bit back a retort, he continued, “I’ve heard about your adventures, Daisy, including your little interlude in Rome.”

  “I see,” she said carefully, trying to tamp down her own fury so she didn’t piss off the god. She was already healing from one wound, she didn’t need any more.

  “I don’t think you do,” he countered. “Your encounter led to a very interesting conversation between myself and Remus.”

  “How so?” she asked, curious despite the fact that she wanted to talk about Roman.

  “It seems that while Remus has no memory of ever having a twin, he remembered his conversation with you, though he should have forgotten anything pertaining to Roman.” He gave her a moment for the words to sink in and when they did, her eyes widened. “Remus is… not in a good place right now.”

  “Because of me?”

  “Because of Isis and what she did to Roman,” he corrected. “I’ve kept Roman’s location a secret – for now – but Remus can be tenacious. If he decides to track down his brother, I have no doubt he will succeed.”

  “Why is that a problem?” she asked, though she already knew the answer. Roman had no memory from before and seeing his face on another man, on his twin, might be too much.

  “Roman is not the same man you once knew,” Apollo continued gently, glancing around the nearly empty bar to make sure they weren’t being overheard. “I’m not sure what his reaction would be if he were to see his face on another man. Hell, I have no idea what his reaction will be when he sees you.”

  “I’m not leaving until I’ve seen him,” she said quietly but firmly. All of her pain, her agony, her doubts and fears, disappeared in the awareness that Roman was here. Giddy excitement drowned out everything.

  “I’m not asking you to,” he countered, popping the balloon of fury that was trying to well up inside of her. “I’m just warning you that it might not be… pleasant.”

  “You said he burns for me,” she whispered furiously, trying to understand the warning.

  “He does,” Apollo confirmed. He caught his lower lip between his teeth as he leaned even closer, nearly tipping over his chair and falling into her lap. Deliberately, he spoke the next words very carefully, “But he’s not the same man you once knew.”

  “You said that,” she ground out, frustrated with the conversation. Frustrated with knowing Roman was close but still too far away. Apollo looked at her as if willing her to understand and when she did, her eyes widened in disbelief, “You’re afraid I won’t love him.”

  With a heavy sigh, he leaned back in his chair and nodded his head once.

  “It hardly matters if I love him or not if the other thing you said is true,” she scoffed, refusing to even consider the possibility of not loving Roman. Her heart trembled in her chest as she leaned into his space, “If my wolf claimed him, he’s my mate and there’s nothing any of us can do.”

  “Has anyone told you that you are very stubborn?” he asked, a slight smile playing about his lips.

  “On occasion,” she answered slowly, not sure what to make of his sudden mood change. Lowering her lashes, she asked, “Is he a good man?”

  His eyes, his eloquent hazel eyes, spoke volumes so before he even said anything, Daisy already knew the answer. “Yes. I am proud of the man he has become.”

  “Then why do you think I’ll be… unkind?” she asked, tilting her head to the side in bewilderment.

  “I don’t want to take any chances, not with Roman.” Leaning back in the chair, crossing his hands over his stomach, he stared into the fire as he continued in a soft, distant voice, “I’ve made mistakes when it comes to my sons. I’ve done things I’m not proud of and I no longer wish to be that man.”

  “But you’re more than a man,” she whispered.

  His lips quirked up into a quick smile, there and gone, before he continued, “I wasn’t able to protect Roman when he was younger so I’m doing what I can now. I don’t want to see him get hurt and if you hurt him, I will break the bond you unwittingly made when you bit him.”

  Slowly, her eyes blinked as she took in his words. “You can do that? You can break a wolf bond?”

  “Yes,” he said with a grimace. Grinding his teeth together, he glared at her as he bit out, “It’s painful but it can be done. And if that is what you wish….”

  “No!” she denied quickly, shaking her head in emphasis. Pressing her hand against her stomach and the rumbling of nerves, she said vehemently, “God, no.”

  The hardness in his features softened as he relaxed once again. “Okay.”

  Studying him, she asked, “You’ve been here the whole time, haven’t you?”

  “More or less,” he admitted.

  “Are you the one that arranged a meeting between the Alpha and me?” she asked, waving her hand around the bar, wondering for the first time why she hadn’t met the Alpha yet.

  “I merely suggested an alliance between the two packs would be beneficial,” Apollo said slowly, his hazel eyes dancing with laughter and mischief. “And I might have sugg
ested that the eldest Tremain daughter was a very beautiful woman. Is it my fault the Alpha jumped to the wrong conclusion?”

  “The conclusion you wanted him to jump to,” Daisy grumbled, impressed with Apollo’s meddling even though it was her life he was meddling with.

  “It got you here, didn’t it?” he asked smugly.

  “You could have simply told me you had Roman,” she ground out.

  He smiled at her, “And what would have been the fun in that?”

  “Why?”

  He gave her a brilliant smile and murmured, “I’m a god.”

  After a moment, letting her temper simmer down because he had brought her to Roman, she asked softly, “He doesn’t know who you are, does he?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Will I see him tonight?” Giddiness washed over her and through her but she didn’t give any outward indication that she was dancing on the inside. She was going to see Roman again. After all of this time, he was finally close enough to practically touch.

  “You’ll see him soon.” Once again he leaned forward but this time he took her hands in his. “If this all works out the way I’m hoping, name your first son after me.”

  “Apollo?” she asked with a slight grin.

  Shaking his head no, he murmured, “Xavier.”

  The next night, Daisy sat in the corner of the tavern and silently watched as members of the Alaskan wolf pack made their way into the bar. Dominic and Jeanette had decided to head to bed early, with her encouragement, so she was alone with her thoughts and her racing heart. She had tossed and turned all night, going over everything Apollo had told her. He had been worried that she wouldn’t love him but what if the new Roman didn’t, couldn’t, love her? Yes, he was bound to her, at least he was bound to her wolf, but what if it wasn’t enough? What if he wanted a wolf that could actually shift?

  Before, they were two imperfect creatures who were perfect together. Now, he was a wolf and she was still plain, shift-less Daisy, as had been proven all too recently.

  As desperately as she wanted to see Roman, to touch Roman, to kiss Roman, she was terrified. She had spent the past year so focused on finding him, she hadn’t thought about what would happen once she found him. And she certainly hadn’t expected to learn that her wolf had claimed him when the bitch had been so very reluctant to claim her!

  Her foot tapped restlessly beneath the table as she sipped at her water, her eyes on the door. A part of her wanted to go back to her room, pack up her crap, and board the next puddle jumper out of the small town. If Roman was happy, she should let him be. But the other part, the larger part, needed to see him, at least one more time. If he was miserable having a defective wolf as a mate, she’d ask his father to break the bond, no matter how much it hurt her. She just wanted Roman to be happy.

  Fuck, she wanted him to be happy with her.

  The door opened, slamming against the wall as it got caught on a gust of frigid wind. A huge, burly man stepped into the bar, his face covered in an impressive, snow-encrusted blond beard. His cheeks were pulled up in a wide smile as he looked around the bar and called out greetings to everyone as if they were all friends; as if he had grown up there. He carried himself with such poise, such confidence, she was almost positive he was the Alpha. As he swung up onto a stool at the bar, he pulled his hat off and long, thick golden hair tumbled to his broad, broad shoulders. He turned his head just enough and the light illuminated his face and his brilliant blue eyes and Daisy’s mouth went dry.

  Roman.

  Her fingers shook as she tried to take a drink of water so she carefully set the glass back down and tried to remember how to breathe. He was a feast for her starving soul and she just wanted to drink in the sight of him. Even through the noise of the crowded bar, she heard his voice as he asked for a beer, the timbre enough to make the butterflies flutter in her belly.

  She didn’t think she’d be able to stand up because at some point her legs had disappeared. Glancing under the table, she frowned because her legs were still there. No, it wasn’t her legs that had disappeared; it was all of her blood and nerves that had vanished. The room spun around her until the only thing she saw was Roman: Roman with his long hair and thick beard, Roman with his broad shoulders and tight ass, Roman with laughing blue eyes.

  Before, his eyes hadn’t danced so freely with laughter. He had been a loner, forced into solitude because of his fearsome appearance. Someone said something and he threw his head back and laughed, a deep, belly rumble that made her want to laugh and cry all at once. In fact, tears filled her eyes as she continued to stare at him, unable to rip her gaze away even if her life depended on it. He was here and he was so close and yet he was a million miles away.

  If she asked Apollo to break the bond that her wolf had accidentally created, Roman would be able to find someone, his true mate perhaps, and have a good life here. She could imagine him becoming the Alpha in a few years, or starting his own pack with a few of the more restless wolves. They’d run further north, even farther away from civilization, and they would look to him to lead them. He’d have his choice of mates, from the busty blond who couldn’t tear her eyes off him to the pretty redhead who kept sending shy glances his way. He’d have at least a dozen wolf pups and he’d be an amazing father to all of them.

  The scenario was so clear in her head, her heart stuttered in her chest as tears fell unheeded down her face. Was that why Apollo had told her he could break the bond? Because he knew Roman would be happier without her in his life?

  “Here,” a low, rumbly voice said. A handkerchief was thrust in front of her face and she had to blink a few times to bring herself back to the present.

  Without seeing who held the square cloth, she took it and dabbed at her eyes. Offering the stranger a watery smile, she said, “Thank yo….”

  Her words died as she realized it was Roman standing there, looking down at her with the strangest expression on his extraordinarily handsome bearded face. Realizing how ridiculous she looked, she smoothed her hand over her hair and then set her hands on the table. Her fingers curled around the handkerchief as she offered him a tentative smile. Clearing her throat, she attempted her earlier words, “Thank you.

  Holding her eyes, he sat down across from her, his brows drawn together in concentration. After a moment, he asked, “Do I know you?”

  A huff of unexpected laughter mixed with a fresh batch of tears escaped as she shook her head because she didn’t know how to answer that. As much as she had empathized with Roman when his brothers hadn’t known who he was, as much as she thought she was prepared, to see him and know he didn’t know who she was was a thousand times worse than anything she had expected. So much for Roman burning for her. “I’m Daisy.”

  At that, his head jerked back and he stiffened. His eyes narrowed as he studied her with greater scrutiny and she held herself perfectly still, afraid of saying anything that might inadvertently break him. Despite her bravado earlier with Apollo, she was very much concerned with the possibility of shattering Roman. It had been a fear she had purposefully ignored which now came roaring back, making her belatedly cautious.

  “Roman,” he said in a rough voice. Clearing his throat, he repeated himself, “I’m Roman. Why does it feel as if I know you and yet I’m almost positive we’ve never met?”

  Slowly, hesitantly, she reached across the table and put her hand over his. The contact made her pulse race even as she noticed him go perfectly still, his gaze locked on her hand. Almost as if in a trance, he turned his hand over and laced his fingers with hers and Daisy closed her eyes in exquisite pain. To be so close, to be touching him, being touched by him…. It hurt and she never wanted the pain to end because it was Roman.

  “How do I know the feel of your skin?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over her fingers. “How come when I close my eyes at night, it’s your face I see? Who are you?”

  Swallowing past the tears clogging her throat, she rasped, “I’m Daisy.”

&nbs
p; “I know your name,” he whispered gently, lifting his head and capturing her in his blue eyes. “I want to know who you are.”

  “It’s… complicated,” she whispered, her chest tight as she tried to contain the flood of emotions that was ripping through her, leaving chaos in their wake. Love, fear, uncertainty, joy, sadness… they were all there and they were all inflicting havoc within her.

  “You’re her, aren’t you? The woman I’ve been dreaming about,” he said. His lips quirked up in a half-smile, his beard twitching with the movement, as he added in a wry voice, “The woman of my dreams.”

  He deserved an answer but she didn’t know how much to tell him or where to even begin. If she shattered him, would Apollo be able to put him back together? Or maybe he was strong enough to handle everything she had to say. He had survived two thousand years in solitude and that took such strength that she had to believe the Roman that sat before her now was strong enough to handle the truth. At least, her part of it.

  Drawing her tongue along her lower lip, not missing the way his beautiful eyes darkened as he tracked the movement, she took a deep breath. She glanced up and met his gaze for a moment before she looked away and admitted, “I’m the one who bit you and made you a wolf.” He sucked in a breath but before he could say anything she continued, “I did it to save you. I did it… I did it because I love you… loved you. No, because I love you.”

  He didn’t say anything and she forced herself to look up and see his reaction. He was studying her as if he wasn’t sure what to make of her or her words. When he remained silent, she babbled on, “My wolf is kind of a bitch and she claimed you without my awareness or permission or even your permission. If you want to find a different mate, a better mate, I know someone who can help.”

  “Why would I want a different mate?” he asked, his voice whispering through her like a lover’s caress and she just wanted to listen to him speak all night long.