Down & Dirty

by Cheryl Dougls

  “That’s the last thing I’d ever wanna do, baby. You gotta believe that.”

  Baby. He was the only man who’d ever called me that and it stirred something inside of me. A sweet memory. Being curled up in his arms, lying under the stars in the bed of his truck, making plans for our future.

  “I loved you so much,” I said, looking into his eyes, heedless of the tears falling from mine. “And I thought you loved me just as much.”

  “I did,” he said, sounding desperate as he gripped my shoulders. “God, I did. You have to believe that.”

  “I don’t have to believe anything you say to me. Not anymore. You broke that trust.”

  “You’re right,” he said, taking a step back as his hands fell to his sides. “So you tell me what I have to do to get it back.”

  “You can’t.”

  It’s not that I was a person who didn’t believe in forgiveness. I did. I even believed people could change. I could forgive someone for opening their car door into mine at the supermarket. I could forgive someone who spilled their drink on my favorite blouse. But I couldn’t forgive the man who’d knowingly broke my heart. He knew walking away from our relationship would destroy me. Yet he did it anyway.

  “I don’t believe that.” He shook his head slowly, as though he was trying to convince himself. “If that were true you wouldn’t be here now.”

  “I’m here for one reason,” I whispered, holding my index finger up. “Closure. I didn’t get it then, but I will get it now.”

  “Fine,” he said, spreading his hands. “You obviously came up here with questions. Let me answer them for you.”

  “I know why you claim you broke up with me—”.”

  “That was the reason, the only reason.” His eyes were sad, downcast. “No way would I have broken up with you unless I believed it was the best thing for you.”

  I pushed him hard, causing him to stumble back only because I caught him off guard. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me! Neither do my parents! How dare you make up your mind that ending our relationship was the best thing for me without talking to me about it!”

  He raked a hand through his hair, looking shaken. “In hindsight I realize that probably wasn’t the best approach, but I thought you’d tell me I was wrong, that being with me was the best thing for you.”

  “Because it was.”

  He stared at me a long time, his eyes tracing my face. “You really believe that? Even after everything you’ve accomplished without me in your life?”

  “What makes you think I couldn’t have become a designer even if we had gotten married?” I know he probably didn’t know much about my profession, but a fancy degree wasn’t the only road to success.

  “I don’t know.” He looked miserable and maybe a little angry when he said, “I just thought going to that art school was so important to you. No way would you have done that if we’d stayed together. How many times did you tell me you didn’t want to do the long distance thing?”

  He was right, I had said that dozens of times. Every time he told me I should go to the school of my choice, not the school with the best football program. “I hate this,” I said, turning away from him. “I hate this conversation. I hate that I’m even here listening to anything you have to say.”

  He came up behind me when I walked to the window. His hands curled possessively around my shoulders and I’m ashamed to admit I leaned into the solid wall of his chest.

  “You can tell yourself you came here for closure, or revenge, or whatever the hell you told yourself to get here,” he whispered. “But we both know the truth. You wanted this as much as I did.”

  “No.” I shook my head frantically. If that were true, that would make me weak and I couldn’t afford to be weak where he was concerned. Not anymore. “You’re wrong. You think you know me, but you don’t. I’m not the same stupid, naïve little girl who believed your lies.”

  “I never lied to you.” He crossed his fingertip over my chest, marking my heart. “In here, you know that.”

  “No, I don’t.” I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. The allure was too strong, the memories too vivid for me to go on fighting. “I hate you,” I whispered, wishing that were true.

  “I know you want to,” he said, sounding sympathetic. “You have every right to. But you don’t.” His large hands trailed down my arms before finally coming to rest on my hips. “That’s the thing about memories, isn’t it, Liv? They’re imprinted here…” His fingertip grazed my temple. “Here.” His fingers brushed against my heaving breasts, over my heart before his hands started roaming my body like the bastard had a right to touch me!

  So, stop him! But I couldn’t. He was right. My body, my heart, my mind, all remembered him like we’d never been apart. “This is crazy,” I muttered, remembering the plans I’d made for tonight. I imagined being in this room with him, but he was supposed to be the one begging and I was supposed to be the one in total control. Yet he’d somehow turned my world upside down with a few simple words. With a light touch he’d ignited something in me, made me crave more. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  “Yes, it was.” His tongue flicked out to trace the shell of my ear, making my entire body tremble in response. “I knew when I let you go it wouldn’t be for the last time. We’d meet again. Somehow, some way. We had to. It was fate.”

  Fate. I didn’t believe in fate. This evening had been carefully orchestrated. Fate had nothing to do with it. Did it? Yet, here we were. He was single. I was single. And we still wanted each other as much as we had the last time we’d touched.

  “One night,” I whispered, knowing it was pointless to resist the temptation. I hadn’t had a boyfriend in six months and I’d already worn out two sets of batteries in my plastic playmate. He owed me this. One night of crazy, hot sex. Then I could forget him…

  “If you say so.”

  He was kissing my neck, that hot spot only he’d been able to find. Damn him for remembering everything I’d tried so hard to forget. “I mean it, Landon.” I suppressed a moan as I rested my hand on the cool glass, my head falling forward as he shifted my thick mane of hair to give him better access.

  His erection was thick and hard. I could feel it wedged between my ass cheeks and I eased back into it, making him groan.

  “You are so hot,” he murmured as he slid my side zipper down.

  I’d dressed for the occasion, planning to leave him panting over my sexy lingerie while I walked away with a smug smile teasing my lips. Only now my plans were shot to hell and I suspected the only thing that would be teasing my lips tonight would be his shaft.

  My mouth watered at the thought. I used to love going down on him. It was the only time I’d ever seen him lose control and I wanted to witness that again. I turned into his arms, reaching for his pants, but he halted me with a mind-altering kiss.

  No, kiss was too mild a word for what he did with my mouth. We danced. We teased. We tongue-fucked. We fought for control. And finally, we surrendered.

  His breathing was labored as I pulled his T-shirt over his head and tossed it aside. “What are you doing, sexy?” he asked, sliding my dress down and over my hips before placing it on the chair next to him.

  “What does it look like I’m doing? Getting you naked.” This was supposed to be angry sex. At least for me, but when he popped my bra open with one hand and cradled my breast with the other, flicking his thumb across my hard nipple, I knew it was time to shelve that plan too.

  Just go with it, that’s what I told myself. Forget who he is and what he did to you. Just soak in the pleasure. He’s just another hard male body with the equipment to show you a good time. That gorgeous face is irrelevant. The way his muscles ripple when he moves. Not important. The way his tongue glides over your skin, turning you into a puddle of messy goo. Who cares? You have one goal tonight, girl. The Big O.

  He bent down and cradled my tits in his big hands, making them look small for the first time since… he cu
pped them the last time. His tongue lashed my nipples, making me squirm, but when he sucked them in his hot mouth, pulling hard, just the way I liked it, I had to grip his broad shoulders for strength.

  “We’re right in front of the window.” And I was down to my black thong and heels. What the hell was I thinking?

  “Privacy glass,” he murmured, talking with his mouth full. Of me.

  “Oh.” It was kind of hot, the idea of going down on him in front of a big window that overlooked the city. “In that case...” I pushed his pants down over his hips, revealing black boxer briefs that strained against his massive erection.

  I’d once tried to convince myself that I’d imagined that. He couldn’t possibly be as big as I remembered. But yeah, he was. That was just another lie I told myself to try and forget him. Like that was ever gonna happen.

  “Olivia, you don’t have to—”

  “I want to.” I licked my lips as I gripped him hard through the soft cotton. He was probably fearing for his manhood, given my state of mind earlier. And I couldn’t blame him. In his position I’d feel the same way. So I said, “Tonight we’re not Olivia and Landon.”

  “We’re not?”

  His eyes drifted closed when I reached inside his boxers and curled my hand around his shaft, spreading the drop of pre-cum around the tip.

  “You’re not my ex-boyfriend,” I said, dropping to my knees as I inched the briefs over his hips and down his rock hard thighs. “You’re not the guy who broke my heart.” My tongue flicked out and I moaned as soon as I tasted his salty essence. “You’re just a guy. I’m just a girl. Here for a good time.” I cupped him while trailing my tongue over his hard length. His hips bucked, making me smile as I took him in my mouth. “What happens here, stays here.” I was stating my case while licking and sucking him and as he looked down at me I was pretty sure I could have demanded his Ferrari and he would have gladly handed over the keys. “One goal tonight: to make each other come as many times as possible.”

  “Oh God.”

  He threaded his hands through my hair when I took him deeper before swirling my tongue around his length.

  “Is that a deal?”

  “Whatever you want, baby. Just don’t stop doing that.”

  I took him fast and hard, just the way I knew he liked it and he fisted his hands in my hair, thrusting his hips like a man possessed. Or should I say obsessed? With my mouth.

  I opened wide, taking him deep, just the way he’d shown me when I was an inexperienced girl trying to learn how to pleasure her man. I told myself I wouldn’t allow the memories to creep in, but there they were. At the periphery of my mind.

  “Baby, I’m gonna….” His grip tightened as he let out a guttural moan and let loose.

  I took every drop of him, swallowing convulsively as his hands stroked my scalp.

  “That was fucking amazing.”

  I smiled as he helped me to my feet. “Glad you enjoyed.”

  I was making my way for the bed when he grabbed my panties. I looked over my shoulder just in time to see him tear them in two. Yeah, after that little display of masculinity I didn’t need them anymore anyways. They were soaked through.

  “Keep the shoes on,” he said, when I bent to take them off. “They’re hot as hell.”

  “Whatever you say.” He walked me backward toward the bed. He was towering over me, even with heels on and I gotta say, there is something about being with a man that big that makes you feel small and feminine and sexy, no matter your size.

  “Now…” He bit his bottom lip as I fell back against the mattress. “I do believe it’s my turn.”

  Chapter Four

  Landon

  Whatever I’d done in a previous life to deserve this kind of karma, I’d gladly do it ten times over just for the chance to devour her again. I remembered everything about it. The taste of her. The way she moaned and called out my name as she peaked. The way her body trembled and clenched when she was coming down from that high. I’d lost count of the number of times I’d jerked off to those memories.

  Now I was getting the real thing again. I was one lucky bastard. She could try to sell me that one night bullshit all she wanted, but there was no way that was gonna fly. If I was getting back inside her hot little body again it meant she was mine for the duration. If another man ever tried to touch her, I’d break every finger in his motherfucking hand.

  “Spread your legs for me.” I watched her do as she was told while she watched my dick swell again. She’d just sucked me off like a champ five minutes ago and I was ready for her again. But not before she got hers. And I got mine.

  “Yeah, just like that,” I said, dropping to my knees and spreading her legs with my shoulders. “Mmm, look at that, baby.” I was salivating. “You’re so wet for me.”

  She moaned, tipping her head back as she closed her eyes.

  “No, I want you to watch me.” She’d always loved it when I was demanding in the bedroom and judging by the way she was dripping now, that hadn’t changed.

  Her eyes were fixed on mine when I took my first swipe. She tasted so good I could have buried my face between her legs and went crazy. But I wanted to draw this out. To enjoy every single second of it. Not because I was afraid it wouldn’t happen again. I knew it would. I’d always been her drug of choice. One more hit and she’d be hooked again. Just like I was.

  I lapped at her, alternating between short quick lashes and long sweeping caresses. Both made her edgy and needy, just the way I wanted her. “You like that?” I asked, locking eyes with her.

  Her eyes spit fire when she said between clenched teeth, “You know I do.”

  “Tell me. Tell me what you want me to do to you. How you want me to do it.” She didn’t have to tell me. I not only had the playbook to her body, I wrote it. I didn’t care how many lovers she’d had since me or how many times they’d taken her. No one could make her feel the way I could. And I was going to prove that to her. All. Night. Long.

  “Like this?”

  She lifted her hips off the mattress when I traced her core with my tongue.

  “Oh. God. Landon.”

  I loved hearing my name fall from her lips like a curse. Nothing turned me on more. It meant I was getting to her. Getting under her skin, just where I wanted to be. I blew on her while I watched her writhe as she clenched the sheets, her head thrashing from side to side.

  I had never seen anything sexier in my life. Her long blond hair spread out on the crisp white pillow. Her blue eyes shining with excitement, her fair skin flushed with arousal while she waited for me to make my next move.

  I didn’t make her wait long. No more teasing. It was time to finish my pretty girl off so I could sink inside of her the way I was dying to. Claiming her like I never had before. My tongue played her like a finely tuned instrument, the sweet sounds a chorus of her breathless sighs and moans filling the room.

  “I’m going to…”

  I didn’t give her a chance to finish her thought. I went to work bringing her to the peak, seeing her through the storm as her body trembled, and pulling her close while she rode it out, her heartbeat finally returning to normal as she looked at me with glazed eyes. “How the hell did you learn to do that?”

  I chuckled, satisfied that I’d been able to get her there in record time. It was a testament to how turned on she was. “I had a lot of practice.” I brushed a strand of hair off her damp forehead as her eyes darkened and she looked away. “With you, gorgeous.”

  “You can’t tell me you haven’t done that for plenty of other women.”

  I placed a hand possessively over her flat stomach as I imagined how many men had done that to her. “Would you think I was sick if I told you I fantasized about you every single time?”

  She gasped before pulling back to look me in the eye. “You’re lying.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  I made myself a promise. I was going to bare my soul to her tonight. Sure, there was a chance I’d get kicked in th
e teeth, but at least I wouldn’t have to live with anymore regrets. Regrets were the worst. They kept you up at night. Made it impossible to fall in love. And made you… miserable. That’s what I’d been when I’d been brave enough to examine the hole she left in my heart. Fucking miserable.

  “I know this isn’t flattering, but it’s the truth, Liv. Every woman was you. My buddies gave me a hard time about blond haired blue-eyed women being my thing, but they didn’t know the reason I always got with girls like that was because it made it easier to pretend.”

  She looked away and I didn’t know if I was losing or gaining ground.

  “If you want me to shut up now,” I said, my hand venturing lower. “I will.”

  She stopped my wandering hand with hers. “I had a type too.”

  “You did?” I didn’t want to hear about her type, but I knew turnabout was fair play.

  “He was tall.” She bit her lip as her eyes scanned my body. The sheet was pulled up to my waist, but it was tented. “Broad shoulders. Athletic. Blue eyes.” She reached up, almost tentatively as she brushed her hand through my hair. I was wearing it a little longer these days, curling over my collar, but I liked the way it felt when she thrust her hand into it. “He had to have blue eyes. But no one has the blue-gray eyes you have.”

  It was a family trait. My brother and mother both had them too. But she was right, it was an unusual color. “Maybe our babies will have them too,” I teased. I immediately recognized my mistake when she shut down and pushed my hand away. “I’m sorry. I—”

  “You can’t say shit like that, Harris. Don’t you know what that does to me?”

  “No, tell me.” I needed to hear her say it. As much as it hurt to see her upset, I needed her to put words to her feelings for me so I’d be free to do the same.

  “I can’t.” She stared out the window. “I can’t say it. I can’t go there again.”