by K E Osborn
“Distracting me from my own inner panic… it worked, thanks.”
“Great, because I would hate if I admitted my secret for no damn reason.”
I sigh, glancing at the blood on my arm. “Is it okay if I wash this off?”
“Take all the time you need.”
Ace strides out leaving me in his room. I walk into his bathroom and turn on the faucet. I glance in the mirror to see red eyes just like Chains. Seems we’re both not getting enough sleep. I move my arm over the basin to wash off Chains’ blood from my bicep. The water runs red making me cringe. I’ve seen him hurt so many times, but today was different. Today he could have died if the blade was tilted just slightly differently.
If I lost him, my entire world would change. I can’t even think about it right now, so I scrub at my arm removing his blood off me. I was so fucking caught in the moment I didn’t even wear gloves when I sutured him up. Some fucking doctor I am. I’ll have to give him a course of antibiotics.
I turn off the faucet then grab the hand towel drying myself off as I look at myself in the mirror again. “Pull yourself together, Rebecca.”
Placing the towel on the rack, I walk out of the bathroom then into the hall to see Torque walking toward me. His head bobs up in a gesture of ‘I was looking for you.’ I raise my brow at him in question. “Everything okay?” I ask.
He stops in front of me with a small huff. “I’m gonna ask you first, is Chains gonna be all right?”
I snort out a mock laugh making him cock his brow at me in question. “Physically, yes. Mentally, it’s anyone’s guess.”
Torque clenches his jaw seeming to understand Chains and I are all over the goddamn place right now. He, probably more so. Chains has me and Luc to deal with right now. I’m sure he isn’t in his right frame of mind.
“Okay, so I don’t wanna overstep any boundaries here, it’s not my place to get involved, but Chains needs to keep focused on his task right now. His assignment is to try and turn Luc in a timeframe that’s reasonable.” I tense up shaking my head, Torque watches me as I let out a heavy breath. “You have an opinion?”
I grit my teeth knowing I can’t change this, but I can put in my two cents worth. “I don’t think for a second someone like Luc who has been in an organization for thirty-five years is going to flick a switch and turn against them. Chains holds onto a boy who simply isn’t there anymore. This can only end one way for Luc…” I sigh, “… and it’s going to devastate Chains.”
Torque rubs the back of his neck letting out a heavy breath. “You’ve done a psych rotation, right?”
“Yeah?”
He looks right at me. “Kline, I need you come in and see Luc, assess him, tell us whether you think he’s a risk to us.”
My entire body tenses as I look away from Torque trying to figure out if I can be in a room with Chains and Luc at the same time. Chains talked about Luc so much when we were growing up. I only just now figured out I’m jealous and scared of Luc coming back on the scene. How the fuck am I going to keep level-headed in all of this? “I don’t know if I’m the right person for this, Torque.”
He reaches out taking my hand in his. It’s a strange move from the president who’s always a step removed from me. “Bex, I think you’re the only one who can do this. You have insider knowledge on Luc. You know Chains better than anyone, you can watch him around Luc. You can also assess the way Luc reacts to Chains. No one is more qualified for this than you. You got this, doc.” He dips his head at me like it’s the reassurance I need, and somehow his action gives me a little bit of confidence.
I can do this.
For Chains. For me. For the club.
Because when all this falls to shit, and Luc shows us he can’t be saved, I need to be the one who doesn’t say ‘I told you so’ but is there to help Chains through the storm that will inevitably swallow him whole.
BEX
Torque and I walk into the clubroom with a plan in motion. I’m going to assess Luc. Test him. See where his head is at with Chains in the room and see how it goes. I’m not expecting much, I don’t even know if Chains will agree to this, but we’re on our way to tell him.
My stomach rolls, twisting and turning as we step up to him. After the moment Chains and I shared in Ace’s room, I feel like I’m transparent, like everyone out here can see straight through me. Like they know exactly what happened in that room. But in reality, there’s only three people who know—Chains, Ace, and me. Currently Ace is standing with Chains as we stroll over toward them.
I hold my head high as we walk. I don’t want to look ashamed of my actions even though inside I feel like I want to scream. We almost kissed—again. There’re so many things wrong with that scenario, but in the moment, it felt right. Being near him makes all my senses come alive. Chains has always made me feel like I’m invincible. Like with him by my side, we could take on the world. I just don’t think it’s possible. Even if we were to act on this attraction we have toward each other, I don’t think our parents would agree to it. That would break both our hearts. So, we need to figure a way to keep this relationship strictly friends.
It’s for the best.
Torque and I step up to Ace and Chains. They both turn to us as Chains looks at me, his breath visibly catches in his throat like he’s shocked I’m even in his presence right now.
“Chains, Kline is going to come in with us to assess Luc. See where he’s at mentally. I think it’s best—”
“No,” he simply replies, interrupting Torque.
“Ahhh, what?” Torque grunts.
“No. She’s not going in there with him.” He folds his arms over his chest like an errant child.
I scoff placing my hand on my hip. “Why the hell not?”
“He’s dangerous, Bex. I won’t risk you being hurt.”
I soften slightly as Torque grimaces. “Unfortunately, this isn’t your call, brother. You brought him in here, shit went south. Now, I’m making this call. He needs evaluation to see where his head’s at. We can’t bring in another fuckin’ doctor for obvious reasons, Chains. Bex is who we have, who we’ll use to psych evaluate Luc, or we’re going with option two.”
Chains rubs the back of his neck with a wince. “Fine. Option two is not an option at all.”
I glance at Ace confused. “What’s option two?” I ask.
“Luc doesn’t get to talk to us at all,” Torque replies.
“More like doesn’t get a chance at anything,” Chains cuts in.
I think I get where they’re going with this. They’d never actually say it in front of me, but I’m pretty sure they mean they would find a nice cold place to store Luc.
Underground.
With a bullet in his skull.
I’m not stupid, I know they dispose of people they don’t need here. I’m not blind to it. But I also know they only do it when they have no other alternative.
Do I agree with it?
Hell, no.
My job is specifically to save people, so the thought of the men I trust, the men I love, taking lives just because they can, really pisses me off. But I know I can’t change it. So, I don’t say a word, it’s not my place. I’m here to help Chains and Defiance the best way I know how. By keeping them alive. If that makes me tainted, then I guess I’m just as fucking guilty as they are. But I like to think I’m doing the right thing by helping them as they get rid of the scum in Chicago. It might be wrong, it might be illegal, but in my twisted world, somehow, I think it evens out.
“Chains, I know you want to protect me. But you’ll be there, Torque will be there. Hell, I’m sure others will be there, too. I’m not going to be alone with the guy—”
“It’s not what I’m worried about,” he interrupts me.
I sigh. “What then?”
“He’s different. What if he says some bad shit to you?”
I snort. “I’m a big girl, Chains. I can look after myself. Can we go do this now, please, before Chains chucks a full hissy fit?
”
Chains groans while glaring at me. “Woman, you’re damn well impossible!”
“You’ve known me for nineteen years, you’re only just figuring this out now, Ty? C’mon,” I huff and start walking. Thing is, I have no idea where I’m supposed to be going.
Torque whistles making me spin as he gestures for me to go the opposite direction.
Of course.
I roll my eyes turning back, walking off with Torque and Ace as Trax moves in beside us tagging along. Chains steps in beside me as we move to the back of the clubhouse.
“Are you sure about this?” Chains whispers in my ear.
I glance at him. “I need to assess him, Chains, or they’re gonna kill him. Which would you prefer?”
His sharp inhale of breath lets me know he doesn’t really like either option as I bump his shoulder. “I’ll be fine. Just don’t lose your cool in there. He doesn’t know who I am to you, so don’t let it be known, and we’ll be fine.”
He grunts in some sort of approval as we make our way to a room I didn’t even know existed. Torque opens it with a key, then we walk inside. He flicks on the light, and I notice Luc strapped into a chair in the middle of the room. The room’s small, appears like it’s normally used for storage.
Luc glances up, his thick black locks fall onto his face as he looks directly at Chains. “Ty, good to see you’re alive and well…” He pauses. “Uuurrrggghhh…” He makes a long, loud buzzing sound then continues, “The lie detector test determined that was a lie.” Then breaks out into a fit of laughter as we all walk in, and Torque closes the door behind us.
My muscles are tense as I try to keep my actions calm. I don’t focus any of my attention on Chains. I don’t need to give away I’m close to him in any way because it will give Luc leverage.
“You think your smartass mouth is going to make us let you go?” Chains asks.
Luc cocks his brow. “Shit, no. I don’t think I’m going anywhere. I knew the moment I stepped into the alley I was in for a world of hurt. But I do think if I’m going down, I may as well have some fucking fun along the way.”
I step forward, Luc finally looks at me, his eyes wandering over my body a little too lingeringly. He licks his lips as I stand right in front of him. “Well, heeello pretty. Ty, did you bring me a farewell treat?” he mocks.
Chains aggressively steps forward, but I place my hand on his chest as a low growl rumbles from him. “Chains, cool it,” I murmur looking in his heated eyes.
Luc begins to laugh. “Wow! I’m impressed that you’re taking orders from a woman now, Ty? You’re still that scared little boy, aren’t you?”
Chains steps forward grabbing Luc’s pretty hair, yanking it back so his head slams into the hard metal of the chair.
Luc groans out in pain as the other men in the room watch on.
“Shut your mouth, Luc, listen to the lady.”
Luc lets out a long breath as he looks at me.
“Luc—”
“Lucian,” he corrects me.
“Luc,” I reply sternly making him sneer at me. “My name is Dr. Kline, I’m going to be treating you while you’re here.”
“Treating me like what, doc?” he jokes.
“Treating you as the boy Ty knew nineteen years ago. Treating you respectfully. Assessing you to see if you’re a flight risk, or whether we can assimilate you into our culture here at the club.”
“What am I, a Borg from Star Trek? Resistance is futile? C’mon, doc, we all know the Luc Ty knew is long gone. The Sovereign’s showed me who I truly am, and when I don’t show up… trust me, they’ll come looking.”
“For a bitch boy like you who’s nothing more than an errand boy to them… maybe not,” Ace replies.
Luc turns up his lip with a small grunt. “You know nothing of who or what I am to the Sovereigns. But I know one thing for sure, when I get out of here, and I will…” he looks directly at me, “… you, sweet thing, will be the first pussy I come after.” He purses his lips in a kissing motion at me making Chains puff out his chest as he pulls me away from Luc, placing me behind him in an act of sheer stupidity.
I steady myself as I roll my eyes watching Luc and Chains eye each other. “The thing is, Ty, or Chains, or fucking Mary Lou, whatever the fuck your stupid-ass name is now… you just gave away your biggest weakness.”
Chains grits his teeth. “You don’t know shit.”
“I know whoever Dr. Kline is, she sure as shit is special to you. Aren’t you, Kliney?”
“You’re a real—”
“Enough of the macho-pissing contest,” I yell stepping out from behind Chains making them both look at me. “I’m the doctor for the club, have been for years, Luc. I know all of these brothers and have a close bond with each of them. If you were to let your guard down, you could have that closeness with them, too.”
He scoffs. “Like they would ever let someone like me in on their ranks.”
Torque steps in beside me. “I’m the president, if you prove to us you can be trusted, that you are the boy Chains knew nineteen years ago, you have my word we will give you a shot. We believe in second chances here, Luc. You just have to give us a reason to give you one.”
Luc swallows hard. His Adam’s apple bobbing visibly in his throat as he glances from Torque to me then to Chains. But he shakes his head firmly. “I’m fine right where I am. Ty’s not worth swapping sides for anyway.”
My chest squeezes as my eyes snap up to look at Chains. His eyes visibly droop as he takes in the words of his former best friend. I’m sure it would have stung. Chains would be hurting so bad right now. I just want to wrap myself around Chains giving him all the support I can. But I can’t, not in here, not right now, and with the awkwardness of our almost kiss, I’m not sure if he would even want my support.
I can’t let Luc talk to Chains like that, so I take the lead. “Maybe you’re not worth giving our time to. Maybe we should gut you right now. Save the effort? Torque, I’m done in here,” I try to play Luc at his own game, turning to walk out.
“Wait!” Luc calls out.
I glance at Torque who looks back like he knows I just played Luc. I slowly turn dramatically sighing at Luc. “What?”
He hesitates. “Keep me around a little longer?”
I fold my arms over my chest, glaring at him. “Why should we?”
His eyes drop as he sinks a little in the chair like he’s deflating in on himself. “I… I’m not ready to die.” A look of fear crosses his face, and I can tell it’s real. You can’t fake that shit.
Chains shifts beside me, I know he’s feeling this too. I exhale dropping my arms to my sides, turning back to Torque. “Keep him alive for another day. Give him the benefit of the doubt. I’ll assess him again after work tomorrow night, see how he’s faring, but don’t expect him to turn for us.”
Chains lets out an audibly relieved breath as Luc looks at him like he’s a little confused by Chains affection toward him. Can’t he understand Chains wants Luc to make it through this unscathed? To be a part of us?
Luc’s clearly a damn idiot.
“You got it, doc,” Torque replies as I head for the door.
“Dr. Kline,” Luc calls out to me. I turn to look at him one more time. “I think we have a good thing, you and me.” His cocky attitude lights his face. I roll my eyes as I watch Chains lean toward him. I turn back facing the door as I hear a thwack followed by a groan. I don’t bother to look knowing Chains hit Luc in some way for his comments as I exit the room.
I need to go check out Gatekeeper, make sure his burns are healing, then I can get the hell out of here and back to work. Closing the door behind me, I don’t want to think about what might happen in the room without me in there. I don’t think they will torture Luc. If they want to turn him, they’re better off not doing that, so I hope they use their heads. But it isn’t my choice to make. It’s Torque’s, and I don’t want to wait around to see the results of whatever they’re doing right now. I will s
ee enough tomorrow night when I come back to check on Luc’s progress.
For now, though, I have things to do, people to see, and a near kiss with Chains I need to try and forget about. The thing is, I don’t want to forget about it. The way my body lit when he touched me, the way everything throbbed inside my core with his close proximity. Chains ties me in knots—I can’t help the way he makes me feel. I need to stop looking at him as anything more than the boy who was brought into my family because this could turn messy real fast. I don’t want that for us, for our family.
I don’t want to lose him. I know he wouldn’t want to feel like an outcast from our family in any way. So, we need to nip this in the bud. Walking into the clubroom, Sparx strides up to me with a cheeky demeanor plastered all over her face.
“So… saving the day again, I see, Bex?” she offers as I continue walking with her quick on my tail.
I raise my brow. “I don’t think so. I was only assessing Luc. In my opinion, he’s a lost cause.”
“I don’t mean Luc, I mean Chains. His neck looked pretty bad when he came in. Guy has a habit of getting in the way of sharp objects.”
I finally let out a small laugh. “Yeah, the idiot does. I always have to clean up his fucking mess of a body.”
She chews on her bottom lip pulling me to a stop, looking at me sternly. “Look, you helped me a lot when I was pregnant. You were there for me, so now I’m going to be here for you.”
My forehead creases as I exhale. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, the way you embraced Chains before, the way you were sitting on his lap for all that time before you sutured him up… I know you care for him a great deal.” I start walking off again, but she follows me. “Bex, I’m trying to be a friend here. A non-judgmental ear you can lean on. If anyone knows what it’s like to have people judging you, it’s me.”
I stop walking and my body slumps as I look at her. Her bipolar disorder was up and down there in the early stages of her being at the club, but with a little help from her psychiatrist and me, but mainly Trax, we got her through it. I reach out grabbing her hands. “Thank you, Sparx. I appreciate it… I just… I don’t really know what I’m doing.”