In Pursuit of a Scottish Lady (Moonstone Magic Book 2)

by Hunt, Brenda

  Lili looked into those beautiful big grey blue eyes of Ali’s. She looked over to Aiden’s. For the first time in a very long time, they both looked happy. That was the best birthday present she could have.

  She tucked Ali in. “Angels to watch over thee.”

  “And thee,” replied Ali.

  “And thee,” said Colin. It was a nightly ritual Colin had quickly learned, one that reminded him of his own mother and their nightly routine.

  Colin walked Lili back to her room as he was want to do every night.

  Lili stopped at her door. She had thought Colin would just go on to his room but he had not. She raised her eyes, her big mistake because the look in his eyes mesmerized her. She felt like she was losing herself.

  “Happy birthday, Lili.”

  Lili held her breath and closed her eyes. She felt his lips claim hers softly. She wanted-----, she didn’t know what she wanted. When his lips left hers, again she didn’t know what to think, what to feel. No, she felt strange but a good strange, not like, her mind shut the door and refused to go down that path.

  Colin watched the myriad of emotions cross her face. It was the hardest thing he thought he ever had to do. “Good night, Lili.”

  Lili looked at him and felt confused. “Good night. Thank you.” Slowly she entered her room and closed her door. For a moment she leaned back against the closed door till she heard him walk away. A part of her wanted to call him back but she didn’t. He had kissed her. She touched her lips. Colin was beginning to have effect on her. No, it wasn’t the beginning. It had been slowly happening since he came.

  Colin walked away from Lili. It was the hardest thing he could remember doing in a very long time. He knew if he kissed her it would bring to the surface all these feelings he was keeping a tight rein on. He went to his room, grabbed his towel and strode purposely downstairs.

  Elsbeth and Rab were still up. Elsbeth looked up surprised.

  “I’m going to the river to bathe,” growled Colin.

  “The water is still cold,” warned Elsbeth.

  “Yes. The colder the better,” snapped Colin as he walked out the back door. Elsbeth’s chuckle followed him into the night air. It only made him realize how truly dangerous this was beginning to be. His body was demanding release. It had been much too long since he had been with a woman his body was telling him. But his mind and his heart were telling him the only woman he wanted was Lili.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Lili stood at the open side door and watched as Colin worked alongside of Rab as they fixed the fence near the barn of the keep. She wondered why, he made her feel the way he did. She shouldn’t have any feelings. But Colin managed to bring about strange feelings. That kiss on her birthday was seared in her brain. Feelings she did not understand. But memories of the past stood like brick wall between what she wanted and what she could have.

  “Ach, tis a braw lad there, Lady Lili. Tis no harm in wantin’ the lad. He looks at ye, wantin’ ye too. He could be big help to ye,” encouraged Elsbeth. She believed him to be a good man. She could sense the goodness in him. And the way he watched Lady Lili. The way she watched him, Elsbeth knew it was only a matter of time before the two came together as a man and woman.

  Lili glanced at Elsbeth at her side in disbelief. “You of all people know that is impossible. I cannae be with him. And you know why.”

  Elsbeth looked at Lili with sadness. “Edward.”

  Elsbeth was the only one who knew what had happened with Edward. Not all the details. Lili could not tell anyone of the details. Some she did not know herself. What she did remember she had pushed to the far reaches of her mind. Only when she attempted to go down into the dungeon, did they rear their ugly heads and take over. She had not made it past the first few steps at the top before the monster made its appearance.

  No, there was nothing for Colin with her. She was damaged. No good man wanted damaged goods. She believed Colin was a good man, a good man with a domineering attitude that drove her mad.

  Chapter 7

  One had to take action against fear

  When once it laid hold of one.

  Rainer Maria Rilke

  Lili came down the stairs and entered the great room. She noticed a slight movement by the door to the dungeon. It was Aiden slipping through the slightly open door. He had nervously looked around but had not seen her. She quickly approached the slightly open door. She could feel her breathing become more difficult as though there was not enough air. She could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She reached for the door. Her hands shook uncontrollably.

  Aiden was in the dungeons alone. What if he slipped and fell? She looked around, but no one was about. There was no one here to go down to the dungeons after Aiden. No one, but her. But she couldn’t. No, there was no way she could go down there. But what if he was hurt, her mind asked again.

  She took a step to the door at the head of the stairs. She looked down into the abyss of darkness. Aiden was down there. She closed her eyes and shook her head. She walked through the door and stood at the tops of the stairs. Her whole body began trembling. Slowly, she began going down the stairs, one stair carefully at a time. She held on the rail with one hand, her other covered her heart as though in protection. Her breathing became more labored with each step she took. The passage way was dim, a small window on the upper wall gave a small ray of sunlight but it did not reach the lower cells.

  With each step she took going lower into the belly of the beast, Lili felt the memories, the ghosts of the past all around her, wrapping their clinging arms about her, smothering the life out her. The closer she came to the bottom, the stronger the ghosts became. At the bottom of the stairs, she smelled him, that sweaty smell of stale tobacco and ale. She closed her eyes. He was here. Edward was back. She felt his hand on her shoulder. She turned, opened her eyes, but she didn’t see him. He must be in the shadows.

  Where was Aiden? Did he have Aiden? Lili looked about. Aiden was nowhere to be found. Where was he?

  The panic engulfed her. Edward had Aiden. She began to shake uncontrollably. She could not breathe. There was no air. The smell of him filled her nostrils. He was here, deep in the shadows. She felt his hands grab her from behind. She tried to scream but no sound came out. The darkness was closing in around her. She couldn’t see. All she could feel was terror wrapping itself around her, suffocating her. There was a far away voice calling her name but she was paralyzed. She could not move.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Aiden came out of the room that held the weapons with a bow and arrows in his hands. Lili had said no, but he would show her, he wasn’t afraid of the dungeons. He had never been down to the cells. With this bow and arrows he could go hunting with Colin. All he wanted to do was get the bow and arrows. He had remembered they were down in the dungeon. There was a room that held them right off the bottom of the stairs. He did not need Lili’s permission to go down the stairs, to get the bow and arrows. Just because Lili was afraid of the dungeons didn’t mean he was.

  When he came out of the room with the bow and arrows he had come down for, Lili leaned against the wall that led down to the cells. He stopped short. He had been caught. He waited for a moment for Lili to begin scolding him. But she didn’t. She just stood there like one of the statues in the library.

  “Lili, I got the bow and arrows. I’m sorry, I came down but I got them.” But Lili didn’t move. She just stood there, unmoving staring into space. He called her name again, several times, getting louder each time. He tried shaking her but she just stood there like a frozen statue. She frightened him.

  Something was wrong with Lili. Elsbeth had told him of all the spirits of long ago inhabited the cells and often could be seen about in the cells. Maybe that’s what had frightened Lili, he thought.

  “I’m gonnae get help, Lili,” he cried and ran up the stairs, his heart feeling like it wanted to beat out of his chest.

  Aiden ran straight into the strong body of Colin and nearly fell
back down the stairs behind him from the force.

  Colin grabbed Aiden to steady him to keep him from falling backwards. “Whoa, there Aiden. What’s your hurry?” asked Colin .

  “It’s Lili,” stated Aiden, his voice shaking as well as his whole body. He was frightened, panicked.

  “What about Lili?” asked Colin with concern. “Where is she?” Aiden was pale and shaking like a leaf.

  Aiden pointed down the stairs to the dungeon, afraid to speak.

  Elsbeth came to their side. “Ye have ben to the dungeon. Ye no ye dinnae suppose to go down there.”

  Aiden nodded shakily and looked from one to the other. “Lili’s down there. But she’s not moving.”

  Colin pushed past him and down the stairs two at a time. Even in broad daylight outside, very little light made it into the dungeon. Fear gripped his heart. All he could think of, was somehow Lili had fallen down these stairs and lay in a heap at the bottom. A small slit in the upper wall let a ray of sunshine seep in. Colin’s eyes adjusted to the lack of light and was able to see his surroundings.

  He saw her at the bottom of the stairs at the far wall near one of the cells. She sat in a huddled heap on the floor. Not a heap like she had fallen. No, like a huddled heap of one who had crawled so deep within one’s self.

  Colin was at her side in seconds. “Lili,” he called. What his eyes beheld frightened his soul. She stared straight ahead and had not heard him call her name. The look in her eyes was one of pure terror. He had seen that look in too many soldiers out in the field not to recognize it for what it was.

  “Lili,” he repeated, only more demanding this time. There was no reaction from her. That hand that squeezed his heart tightened its grip. He took her by the shoulders and with gentle fingers on her chin turned her head to face him. Her eyes stared right through him as though he wasn’t there in front of her.

  He shook her slightly. “Lili look at me,” he demanded.

  Her eyes grew wide with fright and she began to shake. “No!” she whispered. “No! No!” Suddenly, she started beating her fist against his chest.

  “Lili, it’s me, Colin. Look at me.” He grabbed her hands and brought them to his lips. She continued to stare at him wild eyed and lost. He so desperately needed to get through to her. He was at a loss of how. Her eye lids fluttered and she collapsed in his arms, unconscious. He gathered her close.

  Colin turned to Elsbeth at his side in question as he gathered her up in his arms.

  “Let’s get her upstairs and away from this place,” suggested Elsbeth.

  Colin nodded and quickly walked up the stairs with Elsbeth close on his heels. At the top of the stairs, Aiden and Alyssa awaited them with Rab nearby.

  Aiden’s eyes were wide with fear and guilt to see Lili being carried by Colin. She looked asleep. He was about to say something but the look Colin gave him stopped him. He knew he was in big trouble.

  Alyssa not aware of anything that had gone on cried out, “Lili?”

  “She’ll be fine, Ali,” reassured Colin, hoping, praying he was right. “You and Aiden stay down here with Rab while I take Lili to her room.” He crossed the great room in long strides, up the stairs and straight to Lili’s room. Elsbeth hurried to stay at his side. She opened the door for him to stride in. He laid Lili gently on her bed. She was pale, her eyes still closed, her breathing was soft but regular.

  Colin turned to Elsbeth. “What happened?”

  Elsbeth shrugged slightly, but she could see he was not satisfied. “Lady Lili has been afeard of dungeon since she was a wee lass. She got accidently locked in one and------”

  Colin looked at her shrewdly. Something was not adding up. Something was being left out to this story. “And what?” he asked.

  Elsbeth looked passed him to the window. “Tis best she tell ye herself cause I donnae know all of it.”

  Colin looked at her through narrowed eyes. What was it that Elsbeth was trying to tell him? “Then tell me what you do know.” He always suspected there was something Lili was hiding, beside the fact she had set about as a highwayman.

  Elsbeth shook her head. “A cannae. Has to do with that Uncle, that Edward that come to visit. Tis all A can say.”

  He saw the pleading look in her eyes and knew he was questioning her loyalty to Lili. He could not, would not force the issue. Not with Elsbeth, but with Lili, he would. Whatever secret she was hiding, he was bound and determined to seek it out. He had his suspicions. He prayed he was wrong but that gut feeling, he so often relied on, told him he was not.

  Colin took her small hand in his and rubbed her wrist. He had never had to deal with the vapors. Vapors were not something one dealt with on the battlefield. He was at a complete loss of what to do. Would she awaken soon, on her own? Would she remember being in the dungeons? But most important would she awaken to being Lili or that shell of her that was down in the dungeon before she collapsed?

  “What do we do?” He looked to Elsbeth for help.

  Elsbeth poured some water on a cloth and handed it to Worth. “Put it across her head. A’ll go downstairs and brew some tea, that should help when she wakes up. Talk to her Master Colin. She’ll listen to ye.”

  Colin nodded. He pushed the hair from her face with tender fingers and placed the cloth across her forehead as Elsbeth instructed. He heard the door open and close as Elsbeth left the room. He heard Aiden’s voice in the hall. He would tend to Aiden later. Lili had to take priority at the moment

  “Lili. It’s me, Colin. You are safe. You are back in your room. I am here. I promise you, I will not let anything or anyone harm you. Wake up, my sweet.” He rubbed her hand between his. This had him more frightened than anything he had dealt with on the continent during the war. He knew how to handle that kind of situation. This left him clueless. He sighed in frustration.

  He brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss in the palm. There was no reaction. “Lili, wake up!” he demanded, hoping he would get through to her. He patted her hand. “Open your eyes, Lili.” She moaned. “Please, Lili, open your eyes.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Lili heard a voice coming from down a long dark tunnel. She knew that voice. Why was it so demanding? The darkness surrounded her, comforting darkness. She wanted to stay but the voice would not allow her to. That voice would not let her go, would not let her succumb to the darkness. The voice, the light kept calling. No, there were monsters out there. But that voice would not let her be. Slowly, she went toward the light, toward the voice. She didn’t want to open her eyes. She was afraid of what awaited her when she opened her eyes. But that voice, that insistent voice would not let it be, would not let her be.

  Her eyes fluttered. She was in her room. How had she gotten to her room? She remembered following Aiden down into the dungeons. She opened her eyes wide. She was in her room. Colin was sitting on her bed at her side. He held her hand in his. His was the voice that was calling her back. Why did it have to be him? She sat up and pushed back against the head of her bed, trying desperately to pull her hand out of his but he had a strong hold of it and would not let it go.

  “What-----?”

  Colin smiled to see sanity back in her eyes. There was fear and confusion but not the wild all-encompassing terror.

  “Lili,----” Colin began.

  “Where’s Aiden?” her voice trembled.

  “Aiden is fine. Well fine for the moment, until I talk to him about disobeying your orders of going down to the dungeons.” He was going to give Aiden a severe talking to about this.

  Lili sat up and pulled her hand out of his. “You will not say or do anything to Aiden. He is my responsibility not yours. You are not the laird here. You are a guest, a tenant. How dare you think you can discipline Aiden!”

  Lili knew she was being irrational but the terror she had felt in the dungeon was just below the surface. She was mortified that Colin had seen her weakness, her lack of control over her fears. If she turned her anger on him, she could deal with this. It was the o
nly way she could get through this.

  Colin looked at her strangely. “I dare because of what he did. I have disciplined him before. He needs to be made aware of how dangerous his actions were to you.”

  Lili slipped off the opposite side of the bed. Having Colin sitting on her bed was also playing havoc with her emotions. He was too close. She wanted to scream at him and she didn’t understand why. Too many emotions were warring within her and none of them made any sense.

  Colin stood up and started towards her.

  “No, I think it’s time for you to leave. Go please!”

  “Lili, you’ve just been through------“ began Colin trying to calm her. She had to still be in some sort of shock.

  Lili put her hand up to stop him from proceeding further. “No, you need to leave now. I need you gone from here in the morning. You were only to be here temporarily. You are not laird of the keep, yet you keep telling us what to do.” Lili knew she was being irrational but her emotions were on high and she couldn’t stop the words from coming out of her mouth.

  Colin looked her like he was dealing with a petulant child. But he would rather deal with an angry Lili than the despondent Lili of earlier.

  Elsbeth walked in with a pot of tea and looked from one to the other. She left the door partially open.

  “Where’s Aiden?” asked Lili.

  Aiden heard his name from just outside the door and rushed in with Alysa right on his heels. “Lili, I’m sorry. I dinnae mean to scare you. I just wanted the bow and arrows.” He pleaded.

  Nothing good happened in the dungeons. She knelt and opened her arms to hold Aiden and Alysa. She hugged them tight and looked over their heads at Colin. Why was he still here?

  “I am all right Aiden.”

  Aiden backed a few steps out of her arms and looked at her hesitatingly. “You wouldn’t talk to me. I kept calling you but you wouldn’t answer.”

  “I know. I’m sorry I frightened you. I got confused and lost my way,” she explained. She didn’t know how else to explain it to him so that he would understand. In fact, she did not understand herself what had happened.