In Pursuit of a Scottish Lady (Moonstone Magic Book 2)

by Hunt, Brenda

  Aiden turned to Colin. “Colin saved ye.”

  “He carried ye, Lili,” replied Alysa.

  “Yes.”

  “But I heard you tell him he had to leave, Lili,” argued Aiden, looking at Lili through narrowed eyes.

  “Yes, well,” began Lili.

  Aiden took in a deep breath and puffed out his chest and replied, “You cannae tell him to leave. I am the laird. I invited him and I say he stays.”

  Lili closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she found Colin still at the door his eyebrow raised in question. She took a deep breath. “Aiden we shall talk of this later.”

  Aiden was about to reply when Colin said, “Come Aiden, you and I need to talk, man to man. Let us leave Lili to get some rest. She is still upset by what happened.” He stared at Lili daring her to contradict him.

  She narrowed her eyes as she stared back at him and pursed her lips in a frown. This was the very thing she was complaining about earlier. This take charge attitude of his. She watched as Aiden walked to Colin’s side and both of them walked out of the door.

  “A have some tea for ye, Lili. It will help calm yer nerves. Let ye rest,” offered Elsbeth.

  “Yes, Lili, please rest. You scared us,” pleaded Alysa.

  Lili looked at that sweet little face of Alysa. She could see the worry in her eyes. Ali was her worrier. She was the one that felt things strongest. When had she lost control of things here? She sighed deeply. Maybe she did need some rest. So many thoughts, emotions going through her.

  “Very well, then.” Lili capitulated. Maybe after she rested, she would be better able to deal with what had happened. She had lost it with Colin, but he was just so controlling. No, it wasn’t control, it was the fact, he was always right. She put her fingers to her temples and rubbed them in hopes it would relieve the tension she felt there.

  “See your head hurts,” stated Alysa.

  Elsbeth handed her the cup of tea she had poured. “Alysa is right. Ye need to be abed and rest.” She had put something extra in the tea, something that would calm Lili’s nerves and help her rest.

  Lili sipped her tea. The warmth felt good as it made its way down to her stomach. She hadn’t realized how cold she was. She drank it all under the watchful eyes of Elsbeth and Alysa.

  “Come, I will help you Lili,” Alysa pulled her by the hand to her bed.

  Lili let her guide her back to her bed. “You need to take yer shoes off Lili.” She pulled the covers down.

  “I was just going to lie down on top the covers. It is only late afternoon.”

  Ali shook her head. “To rest we get under the covers.”

  Lili smiled. It was what she told the twins all the time.

  “Alright then,” replied Lili. She tried to bend down but Ali was there ready to pull her boots off. Lili allowed her to help her disrobe to her under dress.

  Once in bed, Ali tucked the covers around her with a smile. “The angels will keep ye safe.”

  Another thing she told the twins when she tucked them in at night. She closed her eyes. She heard Elsbeth and Ali walk out of her room. She would just rest for a little while and then she would talk with Colin. Once she rested, she would be able to deal with all of it.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Lili awakened to darkness in her room. She realized she had slept the afternoon away. Elsbeth must have put something in her tea to help her sleep. But it did not erase the events of earlier. She remembered it all. Every last detail. Lili shivered.

  She rolled on to her back and stared at the canopy of her bed. As bad as the moments in the dungeon were, her words to Colin bothered her more. She had ordered him to leave. Deep in her heart, she knew she had struck out in fear and anger. Fear that he would find out her secret about the dungeon. She was so angry at herself that she had lost control. She had allowed Colin to see her in that condition.

  Maybe, it was best he leave before he found out her secret. Before he learned it and looked at her with disgust or worse with pity. She could not abide the look of pity in his eyes. As much as she had tried to not let it happen, Colin had come to be very special to her. That was not good for either of them.

  But now that her anger had abated, could she truly want him gone? Her head said he must go. She could never be anything to him. She had nothing to offer him. But her heart said, let him stay.

  No longer able to tolerate the thoughts going round in her head, Lili rose from her bed. A supper tray sat on the chest at the foot of her bed. She took a bite of bread. She felt the tea pot. It was still warm. She poured herself a cup and drank thirstily from it. She poured herself another and this time sipped it slowly.

  Lili walked to her window and sat on her window seat. She stared into the nighttime sky that surrounded the keep. The full moon was just climbing the horizon. A big pale ball in the dark sky. She leaned back against the wall and pulled her feet under her. Her fingers automatically went to the moonstone about her neck and rubbed it between her fingers as was her habit.

  She heard his voice in her head telling her the fairies put the moonbeams in the stone. She liked that story. She wondered if the fairies out there that put moonbeams into stones, could they help her. Could they show her the way? She brought the stone to her lips and wished upon the moon for a sign to show her the way. She sighed with resignation. There was no sign, no fairies. She knew what she had to do. She and Colin had to talk.

  The keep was quiet. From the time on the clock on the mantle, everyone should be settled down for the night. Hopefully, Colin would still be up.

  With Alysa’s help earlier, she had removed her overdress and stays. She was in her woolen under shift. She gazed at her reflection in her mirror. Her hair was its usual riot of curls about her head. It took a few moments for her to brush some semblance of order to it. She braided it and wrapped it around her head. It made her look older.

  She grabbed her brown and blue plaid shawl, wrapped it about her and walked out her door before her courage deserted her. In the hall, she listened. The keep was quiet, settled for the night. On stocking feet, she approached Collin’s door.

  With her heartbeat pounding in her ears, she softly tapped on his door. She waited for a moment. She had waited too long. He was abed already. She was about to turn and run back to her room, when the door opened before her.

  Colin stood before her in opened shirt and pants. Light brown hair dusted his chest through the opening of his shirt. His hair was damp as though he had just washed up.

  Lili could feel her heartbeat quicken and her mouth go dry. She swallowed hard. Before her courage completely deserted her, she breathlessly asked, “Can we talk?”

  Chapter 8

  She put her hand in my hand, and set her lips to my lips.

  She told me all her pain and showed me all her troubles.

  The Desolate City

  From the Arabic

  Translated by Wilfred Scawen Blunt

  When Colin heard the soft knock on his door, he assumed it was Aiden. But much to his surprise, Lili stood in the doorway. For a moment, he thought she looked like she was about to bolt back down the hall to her own room. When she asked to talk, he was more than glad to let her in.

  He watched her pull her wrap tightly about her as though it offered her protection. He motioned her inside to one of the chairs beside the small table in front of the fireplace.

  “I was just having a nightcap, a whiskey. Care to join me?”

  She looked so vulnerable sitting there. Her red hair was bound tightly about her head in a braid, much too staid for his liking. Where was his fiery redhead who confronted him earlier and at every turn?

  Lili looked past him. She could not look him in the eye. Maybe the whiskey would help calm her nerves. She nodded, not trusting her voice.

  She watched him take the second glass on the table, pour about a fingers worth in it and hand it to her. She took the offered glass with shaky fingers. For a moment, she stared into those gold flecked eyes that gaz
ed back at her with such concern. She looked away quickly. It was nearly her undoing.

  Lili took a sip of the whiskey. She had tasted it a couple of times before. She felt the burn, as it made its way down to her stomach. The burn felt good. It steadied her nerves. She stared at the fire. Where was she to start? She could feel his eyes on her.

  “Perhaps, I spoke too hastily earlier. I was upset. You have been good to the twins. They would miss you if you left.” She could not look at him. She bit her bottom lip.

  “And what about you Lili? Would you miss me?” he asked softly.

  Lili looked at him, then quickly looked away. Be honest, she told herself. Be honest with him. “Yes,” she whispered.

  Colin smiled. It was the answer he so wanted to hear but there was more, much more that needed to be discussed. He needed to know more. He needed to know all.

  “Then, I’ll stay,” he answered. He did not tell her he had no intention of leaving.

  They both sat for a long moment in silence.

  Colin turned to Lili and watched as she took another sip of whiskey. She would need it, as he was about to question her further.

  “Lili, I want to know the story behind your fear of the dungeons. The whole story.”

  Lili took a deep shuddering breath. This became her biggest fear. Could she tell him the truth? Could she tell him all of it? She would have to. He would not settle for anything less. But it would change everything. Of that, she was certain.

  She placed the now empty glass on the table, rose and stood before the fire staring deep into the flames. Could she tell him all? No, one knew it all, including her.

  Colin followed her. He came up from behind her and touched her shoulder. She immediately pulled away. He saw the momentary terror in her eyes.

  “Lili, know, I would never hurt you.” He cupped her face with one hand.

  Lili turned her face into his hand and drew from the strength that flowed from him. Could his strength be strong enough for her to fight the ghosts that plagued her these past months? She nodded barely, but he felt it.

  “Nothing, you can tell me will change things.”

  Lili stared into his gold flecked eyes and knew that was a lie. Once she told him, everything would change. But he would not allow her to avoid telling him. He left her with no choice. She must now tell him. She must tell him all. All would change regardless. Keeping the secret was changing things, too.

  She smiled sadly. “It will change how you feel.”

  “Trust me, Lili. It will not.” He needed to know the truth. His suspicions needed to be put to rest and dealt with. “What did Edward do to you in the dungeon?” he asked. Maybe, if he began, she would continue.

  Lili looked at him startled. How did he know about Edward? Who had told him?

  “Aiden told me he made you cry. Elsbeth told me to ask you, for it was your story to tell.” Colin watched the myriad of emotions cross her face. “A burden carried alone can be so hard to bear. Allow me in, Lili. Allow me to carry this burden with you, for you. My shoulders are strong.”

  Lili sighed in resignation. Perhaps, Colin was right. Perhaps, it was too much a burden to be carried alone. Perhaps, she did need to share it. She closed her eyes. She did not want to see his reaction. She could not bear to see the looks of disgust or pity that would cross his face. She stood before the fire, hoping its warmth would dispel the coldness that lay deep inside her.

  Slowly, softly, she began. “He came telling us he was mother’s step brother. Mother rarely talked of him. When he came, I believed he had come to help us. But I soon realized, he had not and I came to distrust him. Things about the house began to disappear. Things of value. I confronted him about it but he denied it.”

  “He would,” added Colin.

  “Everyone knows I fear the dungeons. When I was a little girl, I was locked in one of the cells for several hours. But I thought, if I hid our valuables down there, he would not think to look down there because he would think I cannae go down there,” Lili explained.

  “And you did,” said Colin. Of course, she did. She would face her fears of the dungeons to protect her family.

  “Yes, I did. I made several trips. I thought it would get easier but it dinnae. But I had to do it, to save Glendenning.”

  Colin watched as she grabbed the ends of her wrap and squeezed them tightly as she hugged her wrap tightly about her. He wanted to place his hands over hers to stop her but he was afraid it would stop her telling.

  “I thought he had gone with Elsbeth and Rab and the twins into town. I thought this was the right time to put some of the bigger things away. I was coming back from the cells when he grabbed me from behind and threw me against the wall. I remember my head hit the wall hard. I was dazed, confused. I cannae think. I tried to fight but he threw me on the floor. This time my head hit the floor harder. I remember hearing him laugh and my dress tearing. But the pain in my head was so bad. I cannae think. Then the darkness was everywhere.”

  Lili opened her eyes and looked at Colin. She needed to see his reaction. She had to know. She saw anger in his eyes. It frightened her. Was he angry at her? She looked back into the fire.

  “I cannae tell how long I lay down there. When I came to, the pounding in my head was so bad, my head hurt so much. I cannae think. I tried to sit up. I cannae. It felt like I lay there forever. My clothes were torn and bloody.” Remembering the pain in her head turned her stomach again. The pain had been excruciating. It felt like her head was split open. The pain was so intense, she thought if she moved, it surely would split in two.

  Lili heard his sharp intake of breathe. She wanted to look at him, but she couldn’t. She was afraid of what she would find.

  “Did Elsbeth find you?” he asked softly, not wanting to interrupt her, but needing to know.

  Lili shook her head. “No. I donnae know how, but I climbed the stairs till I finally got to my room.” She did not go into detail how hard the climb had been, or how many times she had to stop, because the world around her would not stop spinning. She had been so afraid, she would lose consciousness again. The darkness had always been just beyond, threatening to engulf her at any moment. Also, she had been afraid Edward was lurking about. Each dark corner held hidden monsters. The only thing she could think of was, she did not want the twins to find her in that condition. Somehow, through pure sheer determination, she had managed to drag herself, crawl on her hands and knees into her room. She was exhausted by the time she finally got there. Her dress was torn down the front. It had made it easier for her to get out of it.

  “I was trying to wash up when Elsbeth found me. She helped me clean up and get in bed. I cannae raise my head for two days without being sick. It was a week before I could move about without being dizzy.”

  “Edward?” Colin asked. He had been afraid it had been bad. It was worse than he had imagined. He wanted Edward. He wanted Edward to pay for this. He would. He would see to it.

  “Elsbeth did tell me when they returned home, Edward was gone. T’wasn’t till days later, when I was finally able to get about, we realized he had taken everything of value. The small amount of jewelry Mother had, was gone.” Lili’s fingers went to the moonstone on her neck. She rubbed it between fingers as she was want to.

  “Damn him,” muttered Colin.

  Lili turned to him and this time, she looked at him. “He took everything from me. I cannae no longer marry, for I have nothing to offer a husband. Though I cannae remember what all happened, I do know everything I had to offer a husband is gone.” Lili’s voice trembled with emotion. She turned back to the fire. The look on his face frightened her. The pain, she saw in his face was as bad as the pain she felt. At one time, she had begun to have hopes about Colin, but she knew that was no longer possible with this telling. Those hopes were now dead.

  “I am damaged goods. No man will want damaged goods. No man will ever want me.” As painful as she knew this to be, it was more painful admitting such to Colin.

  Sh
e felt his hands on her shoulders as he turned her toward him. She kept her eyes closed afraid to see the look of pity in his eyes. She could not bear it.

  “You’re wrong, Lili. This man wants you,” he said softly.

  Lili opened her eyes in time to see his face inches above hers as his lips came down and softly claimed hers. She closed her eyes again. He tasted of the whiskey he had shared with her earlier or was it her own whiskey breathe? She tasted him. When his tongue traced her lips, she opened her lips slightly and found his tongue touching hers. The kiss deepened. She felt like he was possessing every part of her, drawing every part of her into him. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think. She could only feel. She placed her open hands against his chest, against his skin. She could feel the warmth of his skin. It felt like fire and it was spreading through her until it settled deep within her.

  When Colin pulled his lips away, she wanted to pull him back, but she felt his lips trace a path down her neck and play homage at the pulse at the base of her throat. She felt his arms tighten about her for which she was grateful. Her legs became weak unable to hold her up without his assistance. A soft moan escaped her lips. She felt him capture one breast in his hand. For a moment her mind, a memory flashed back to the dungeon. Edward’s face faded in then out. She tried to pull away, to withdraw.

  Colin felt the change in her. He whispered in her ear, “Look at me, Lili. It is me, Colin. I will never hurt you.”

  She gazed into his eyes and found the life raft that would save her from drowning in the sea of pain and fear she found herself in. She clung to him, to the belief he would save her.

  He claimed her lips again and kissed her deeply burning the memory of Edward out of her mind. He wanted, no needed her to think, to feel only him, until whatever memories reared their ugly heads were completely squashed.