Bella
Page 12
A few days later the phone rang. It was Tammy.
“Bella I need to talk to you. In fact I need to talk to all of you. I have called Ben and he will arrive this evening. I will call Simon and Lizzie when I have finished talking to you. Please come over tomorrow morning.” She sounded really serious.
“What is wrong? Can’t you tell me now?” I asked. I was really worried. Whatever could be the matter be!.
“I prefer to tell you tomorrow when you are all here.” She said calmly.
The next morning I took the kids over to Tammy’s house. The others were already there. We sat down nervously waiting for Tammy to tell us why she had called us there. Roy was sat by her side holding her hand. Lizzie hadn’t exactly been close to Tammy over the years but even she looked nervous. Simon loved Tammy as much as I did. She looked very upset and had tears in her eyes as she began to talk.
“Unfortunately my cancer is back and there’s nothing the doctors can do this time.” She sighed. “I’ve been given six months at the most. I don't want any treatment. It might just give me an extra few months, but at what cost.” She said sadly. I couldn't hold back my tears. Tammy was like a mother to me, even Lizzie was upset which really surprised me. I didn’t expect her to react like that. Simon and Ben looked upset but tried to remain strong for us girls. Tammy then went on to say that she wanted to explain how she met our father all those years ago and of course about Ben. Tammy began to tell us everything. We all sat silently and listened to her story.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I was born in 1958, in a small town called Rosewood. Both my parents were very wealthy and sent me to a private School. I met Ted Green when I was twelve years old. I used to go down to the river and read my books where Ted would be fishing. He used to tell me, that it was his way of escaping. We didn’t spend much time together because my parents were very strict. I was only allowed outside for one hour every night. But as time went on we became very close. Ted was a very clever young man and I knew one day he would be successful. Over the next two years, we knew we were falling in love. I was pretty sure my parents wouldn’t accept it. I took Ted to meet my mother and father one summer. My mother took an instant dislike to him and was forbidden to see him. When I left school I decided not to further my education at that particular moment. Ted was at university doing a law degree. We had to meet in secret and snatch the odd time together here and there.
One day we were drinking coffee in a little cafe by the park, when my mother spotted us. I was grounded immediately.
I had not long turned sixteen and I knew I wanted to be with Ted and he felt the same.
We decided the best thing to do was to leave town and go and live with my Auntie Grace who hadn’t spoken to my mother for many years.
I got a job in a factory whilst Ted continued at University and worked part-time in the evenings at our local bar.
We needed every penny we could get to save for our own place. Eventually we got a very small flat not far from my Auntie’s and we were blissfully happy.
We didn’t have much furniture, but it was home. As time went on we became like passing ships in the night.
One year later I found out I was pregnant, and couldn't wait to tell Ted. I will never forget that winter's night. It was my day off, and I had cooked us a lovely meal. When Ted returned home I knew something was wrong. Before I had a chance to tell him that I was pregnant, he told me that he had met someone else. He said he had known her for about a year. Her name was Sarah. I listened carefully trying to hold back my tears. We were so very much in love, but because of his law degree and both of us working we had grown apart. Maybe if I’d told him I was pregnant he might have stayed with me, but for the wrong reasons and I didn’t want that.
That night I left and went back to my parent`s home. Luckily, they were very supportive and never judged me and so I decided to keep the baby. Not long after I met someone else. His name was Ryan and we got married, however, I never got over Ted, I just couldn’t get him out of my head. When Ben was two I had a breakdown and walked out on Ben and the marital home. Over the next two years I was riddled with guilt. I sent letters to Ryan asking to see Ben. but he didn’t give Ben the letters.
Years later I met Ted again. Unfortunately he was happily married to your mother. The time wasn't right to tell him about Ben because he’d just told me Sarah was dying from cancer. I suppose I wanted to give him support and be his friend, but we fell in love all over again.
It wasn't until three years later that I told Ted about Ben, maybe I should have told him sooner. Possibly the shock of finding out he had a son gave him the heart attack. He was so angry at first and wouldn’t speak to me for days. I was afraid he was going to finish with me however, after we had talked and I explained how I felt after he’d left me all those years ago he decided to let the past stay exactly what it was; the past. Ted wrote a letter to Ben and I did the same. The wedding was going to be the first time in a long time that I would see Ben.
I knew I had to tell you all the truth about Ben. Ted had written a letter to all of you in case neither of them were able to tell you in person. Ted was a very secretive man, and he never told me what he wrote. But I do know it is something important about the past. If and when you find the letter and you decide to read it is your choice, but sometimes I think that some things are better left unsaid.
I love you children as if you were my own. Ted and I were probably wrong for seeing each other again when Sarah was dying, but it wasn’t intentional. My parents were killed in a car crash when I was twenty-five. They might have been strict, especially mother, but I loved them dearly, and missed them very much. That is what pushed me to be there for Ted, because he needed me and I just happened to be there for him. Life is too short to be unforgiving, the next thing you know the person could be gone.
We all took it in turns sitting with Tammy because she had taken a turn for the worse and the doctors told us it was just a matter of time.
I couldn't help thinking about mother as she lay on her death bed. It was like history repeating itself.
Claudio gave us a lot of support and helped us in every way he could. My son Robert was much better although the doctors told us that there was still a possibility that he would need a bone marrow transplant in the future.
A short time later I was sitting next to Tammy’s bed while she was sleeping. She woke up and turned to look at me.
“Bella you’re the daughter I never had. I love you dearly, but one thing is for sure. You will make your own fate in life. The letter that I know you have, don’t read it. Believe me it’s for the best.” She whispered. I was grateful with her for not letting on to the others that I had found the letter. Lizzie knew but we’d decided long ago, that it was better not to know what was in it.
I knew she wouldn't make it through the night. Maybe I should burn this god forsaken later! I thought.
Tammy was made as comfortable as possible and surprisingly she pulled through the night, and the next two weeks.
We all knew that she could pass away at any time, so we tried to be with her as much as possible. She was never alone. I think she knew we were there but most of the time she was in and out of consciousness.
Tammy passed away on the first day of spring. The flowers were just starting to bloom, and the birds were singing in the trees.
She told me one thing before she died.
“Bella I know you love Simon, whether it`s right or wrong you have to decide, no one will judge you, certainly not me. I am proud of you Bella, proud of you all.
Tammy’s funeral went to plan. She had left instructions to Roy and how she wanted her funeral to be. Her wishes were to be cremated, and then to be kept and buried with the family. It was an emotional time for all of us, even Ben cried.
I still couldn't believe she was gone. It was the same as when Mother died
Ben decided to take a few months leave from work; he felt terrible and wished he had done more to get to know her. Bu
t the main thing was he at least got to meet her again after all their years apart. It didn’t feel the same after Tammy had gone. Roy decided he couldn’t keep the house they both called home. He said he couldn’t live there without her..
Ben decided to help Roy sell the house and find another place. Eventually Roy found himself a bungalow just outside Light House Cove.
My daughter Bella was such a good baby. Time flew by so fast. Christmas was coming and she was going to have her first birthday. Simon and Victoria decided to move back to New York again. Lizzie moved into the house next door to mine. I liked the fact we were so close to each other. I remember as children we weren't close at all . But over the years with all the ups and downs we had been through we became closer and closer.
I thought it was best not to read the letter after what Tammy had told me and leave things as they were.
Tammy had been gone a few months and we all missed her dearly, especially at Christmas the only time of year that our family was complete. The snow fell early that year, and it was bitter cold.
As I was preparing the turkey the phone rang. Victoria was on the other end.
“I’m coming over to England with Simon, we will be there tomorrow. I am warning you to keep well away from him!”
“Well, hello to you too Victoria.” I puzzled.
“You have been the cause of so many rows between us. I have constantly lived with the fear of losing him because of you:” She shouted not letting me get a word in edgeways.
“ What’s your problem? Why have you constantly been acting like this? I asked hoping she would calm down and give me some answers.
“You’ll see! “ Was the only answer I got. She hung up and I stood there for ages with the phone still held to me ear thinking: Oh no, this is it……..
That night I couldn’t sleep. Claudio thought I was coming down with something. How could I tell him that Victoria knew about the attraction Simon and I had especially after it nearly split us up all those years ago I really didn’t want things from the past being brought up again.
After making some breakfast we decided to put the tree up and decorate the house. I wasn’t really feeling in a festive mood, but as usual I had to for the sake of the Children.
Violet looked so grown up in her favourite, purple silk dress. She was really growing up and was looking more like me every day.
Robert was looking forward to his birthday like he did every year and Bella and I celebrated our birthday at the same time. She is the spitting image of Claudio with the dark curly hair.
The decorations and tree looked lovely and felt a bit more in the festive mood.
Violet liked helping me in the kitchen so together we
baked cakes, bread, and sausage rolls. After we’d finished I heard talking in the front room. I wiped my hands on my apron and went to see who Claudio was talking too.
Simon and Victoria had arrived. Claudio was making them both drinks and chatting about the weather. I greeted them both expecting Victoria to be hostile towards me, but she was ok and I began to settle down. We actually had a lovely evening. Robert had learnt to play the guitar and took after Simon. Simon thought that it was because he was his nephew. They both seemed to have connected that evening and Simon gave Robert a few tips on playing the guitar.
At the end of the night I was shattered and fell into bed
Christmas morning was mayhem. The room was full of wrapping paper. Robert got lots of presents for his birthday as well as for Christmas. Roy came over with Ben for Christmas dinner. I enjoyed having the family round. But I missed Tammy very much. We went to church and dedicated that to Tammy. She had always enjoyed going to church on Christmas Day.
On returning home we decided to play some games.
I knew it wouldn’t be long before Victoria approached me. We both went for a walk down by the sea.
With the cold night air, I decided to wrap up extra warm. We didn’t really speak until we reached the cliff. We sat down and I told Victoria whatever the problem was it was to be solved right there and then. I wasn’t expecting her reaction to be so extreme. She started shouting how I had ruined her life. That she would always be second best. I told her that Simon and I were close; after all we were brother and sister. At that stage I could feel my cheeks burning up as I knew I was telling a lie. No one knew just how close Simon and I had been. Victoria looked at me, this time she spoke calmly.
“I take it you haven’t read the letter then?”
I was still wondering what the letter had to do with this situation.
“If you don’t read the letter Bella I’ll have to tell you, then maybe you will understand why I’ve been so angry with you all these years.”
Whatever was in it obviously had something to do with Simon. But did I really want to know?
“You know you have feelings for Simon, and he has feelings for you. You know he doesn’t truly love me Bella.” She snapped.
"Yes I know what you mean, but I have moved on with my life and have a loving husband, with three lovely children. Simon is my brother and that’s all he can ever be.”
I just had to go home. I left Victoria. All I could think about was Claudio and his safe loving arms.
I couldn’t stop the tears falling down my cheeks, my eyes were stinging. I quickly patted my eyes with cold water and hoped Claudio wouldn’t notice.
I lay there in bed, my head spinning with uncertainty. It must have been hours before I drifted off into a sleep full of terrible dreams. I woke up sweating. I dreamt that I was no longer with Claudio and realised how much I actually loved him.
I laid there in his arms and could feel his warm breath on my cheek as he lay sleeping. Now I knew I had to do one thing.
Sitting at the kitchen table with the letter in my trembling hands slowly opened it half hoping that something or someone would stop me in my tracks, like it always had.
But this time nothing and no one was here. It was very early in the morning, everybody was in bed. I felt cold so I lit the fire.
As I began to read the letter, I knew I had to find out what was in it that could have made Victoria so angry. The letter read:
To Simon and Lizzie,
If you are reading this letter, then I’m not here myself to tell you all. Tammy will have told you already that we were together before I met your mother.
Tammy and I were childhood sweethearts, her parents were very strict and they were extremely wealthy people. Tammy went to a private school for girls and our back grounds were completely different. They wanted her to meet someone with wealthy parents and with a good school education. They felt I was no good for their daughter. When I reached my eighteenth birthday I was busy at university doing my law degree and she was sixteen. We both lived in a town called Rosewood and realised the only way we could properly be together was to run away. My parents were not against Tammy and myself being together. We went to live with her auntie Grace. There I was able to continue my law degree. However, times were hard and we needed every penny. So I took a job at a local bar. Tammy worked in a factory in the day and she was a waitress at night in a local restaurant. All we wanted was to be together.
We managed to get a very small flat and were blissfully happy. But with both of us working and me doing my law degree, we were like passing ships in the night. It was difficult to find time to be together.
I met your mother at the bar where I worked. She came in one night asking for a job. I remember her lovely long blonde hair and blue eyes. Her smile knocked me back. Because we were working together, we became really good friends, and I fell in love with her. After a year of knowing her, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I still loved Tammy, but the spark we once had, seemed to have gone. Tammy was devastated by the news, and left the next day.
I didn`t know she was pregnant with Ben, maybe if I had known, I would have stayed with her.
Tammy apparently returned to her parents and I was forbidden to ever contact her again.
When I passed my honours degree we decided to buy a bigger house. Times were still hard but we managed. This was the house where you children were brought up. We were told we would probably have to wait years for a baby, but we didn’t care. One year later, out of the blue we were contacted by the adoption agency, asking us to go and see them ASAP. We were told that there were two children, Simon was only a month old, and Lizzie had just turned one. Both children were placed into care, as they had been neglected. Their mother Barbara Stanford was only seventeen when she had Lizzie, then followed Simon. But their father was a drunk. After Simon was born, child services got involved. Their mother was very upset but their father didn’t put up a fight. The papers were signed, for both Lizzie and Simon to be placed with a better family. Simon and Lizzie's mother was a very wealthy woman.
Their grandmother didn't want their daughter Barbara and her Sister Caroline to have the money. All I know is Barbara was sectioned and taken into a psychiatric hospital. We didn’t really know the real story. Your mother Sarah and myself love all of you children dearly. When your mother and I met Lizzie and Simon we fell in love with them. immediately. We couldn’t have loved you both more if you had been our own. We never even imagined that Sarah would fall pregnant. However, when Lizzie had just reached three, and Simon was two years old, your mother discovered she was pregnant, we couldn’t believe the news. All through her pregnancy we thought something might go wrong. But our darling daughter Bella was born on Christmas Eve and we became one big happy family. We didn’t see the need to tell you that you were not blood related, as far as we were concerned you were. We were not going to tell any of you. But we both noticed Bella and you Simon had feelings for each other, and not like a brother and sister should. So we were going to tell you at a later date. I wrote this letter just in case we were not here ourselves to tell you. Please don’t be angry with us. We loved you children dearly.