Cowboy on My Mind

by R. C. Ryan

  An image of a blond woman in a wedding dress—Cassidy, he presumed—stood out from the others. She was dancing barefoot in a grassy meadow, laughing, looking past the camera, presumably at her new husband. “That’s a great shot.” Not posed or unnatural, but spontaneous and full of emotion.

  Levi handed him an IPA and studied the picture with a tender expression. “That’s my wife.” He said it like it still surprised him. “Cass. Remember her? Cash’s little sister.”

  He vaguely remembered, but Cash had made sure that none of his idiot friends had come within a twenty-foot radius of her, so Jaden hadn’t known her well.

  “She’s a nurse in Denver. Working today.” He grinned. “Still have no idea how I got her to marry me.”

  “You lucked out, I guess.” That was a joke. Judging from the other wedding pictures, Cassidy looked as happy and in love as Levi. Something told him luck didn’t have much to do with it.

  The doorbell rang, sending Bella into one of her happy-barking fits. For being so anxious, she sure seemed to like meeting new people.

  “Hope you don’t mind,” Levi said over the noise. “I invited some other friends.”

  Tension laced up his spine, pulling his back tight. “Nope. Don’t mind at all.” It was crazy how casual he could force his voice to sound even when that feeling of dread crawled up his throat.

  He hung out by the fireplace while Levi opened the door, and Bella greeted the two new visitors with a nose to their crotches.

  “Bella, off,” he commanded.

  She obeyed but whined until they both gave her some attention.

  “This is Mateo Torres and Ty Forrester,” Levi said, waving Jaden over. “We trained together forever, and now we run a mentoring program when we’re not on the road.”

  “Nice to meet you.” He shook each of their hands briskly. Gram would’ve been proud of him remembering his manners, even when his throat seemed to shrink.

  “J.J. grew up on a ranch a few miles from here,” Levi told his friends. “We used to raise enough hell that his granny thought about sending him to boarding school.”

  “Not true.” Gram never would’ve sent him away. “She couldn’t get rid of me.” He forced a grin. Maybe after enough pretending, it would eventually start to feel real again. “There would’ve been no one to do the work on the ranch.” But Gram had loved him too. The way a mother was supposed to. He’d never doubted that.

  “I bet you’ve got some awesome stories,” Mateo said. “I’m always looking for new material that I can use to humiliate Levi.”

  Jaden took a sip of his beer and nodded. “I can help you out with that.”

  “I’ve got plenty on you.” Levi directed the words to Mateo as he went to get more beers from the fridge. He handed them out while the three men compared who had the worst dirt on who.

  Jaden stayed out of the conversation. If they’d watched the news in the last three months, they all had dirt on him, and he didn’t want to talk about the accident.

  Eventually, the pissing match ended, and Levi led them all out to the back deck. Bella followed behind and then trotted down the grass. It seemed his friend had chosen the prettiest spot on the property for his house, right up against the mountain, hidden in a stand of aspen trees. Evening sunlight filtered through the leaves, making everything seem calm.

  “House looks good,” Mateo said, examining the stone fire pit before flicking a switch to turn it on.

  “Yeah. Real fancy, Cortez.” Ty kicked back in one of the reclining chairs. “Let me know if you want a roommate.”

  “Yeah, Cass would love that.” Levi pulled two more chairs over and gestured for Jaden to sit.

  He had to admit…it wasn’t half bad sitting there on the deck with these guys, watching the sun start to sink behind the peaks. It was easier than he’d thought. No questions about the accident. No judgment in their eyes.

  “I’m thinking about buying some land so I can build,” Mateo said. “Got my eye on a piece of property right on the edge of town. What about you?” He glanced at Jaden. “You sticking around Topaz Falls or you got something else in mind?”

  “I’m still deciding.” Originally, he’d planned to take off as soon as they’d finished up the project at the resort. He owned a condo in Utah and a cabin in Alaska, but he didn’t have a home anywhere. “I guess I wouldn’t mind sticking around.” The statement surprised him as much as it seemed to surprise Levi.

  “That’d be great,” his friend said. “Just like old times.”

  Jaden couldn’t resist. “Only now you have a wife who wouldn’t take too kindly to you going up to the hot springs to drink beer and skinny-dip with Chrissy…what was her last name again?”

  They all laughed.

  “Cass would kick your ass,” Ty said.

  “True statement,” Levi agreed. He turned to Jaden. “But seriously, you’d love it here. Small town. Great community. Old friends. You’d be welcome.”

  Welcome. That one word sparked hope. Maybe Jaden didn’t have to live in hiding forever. Maybe he could come back to the place he’d always thought of as home.

  Chapter Four

  So this is where a professional athlete went to hide.

  Kate climbed out of her borrowed Subaru and walked up the driveway of what could only be described as an ultra-sleek modern take on a ski chalet. The squared structure had been built right into the side of the mountain, constructed mostly of stained concrete and floor-to-ceiling windows, which must’ve been made from some special type of glass because you couldn’t see anything inside.

  Standing in front of the heavy glass door, she suddenly felt an agonizing attack of insecurity. Since Jaden had judged her attire yesterday, she’d dressed more carefully for the part she was about to play. Immediately after their encounter, Kate had asked Everly to take her shopping so she could pick out a couple more earthy outfits. Today she wore fitted hiking capri pants with a bright pink moisture-wicking tank top. She’d pulled up her thick, wild hair, taking an extra half hour to make sure the bun looked genuinely carefree and messy. Which it wasn’t, of course. There must’ve been two hundred bobby pins holding it in place. But she’d hidden them carefully. Outdoorsy chicks wouldn’t spend an hour on their hair. They wouldn’t have changed clothes four times either.

  It wasn’t that she was nervous to see J.J. Alexander, necessarily. Though the man did have a certain presence that made it difficult to look away. It was more the fact that she had a very limited amount of time to convince him to do an exclusive with her. He didn’t seem especially open to interviews at the moment.

  But this was it. Her chance for a big story. The story that could make her career. She’d show his personal side. She’d take off his mask for the entire world and dig deeper and deeper until she captured his every emotion, the true heart of who Jaden Alexander was.

  “Jay,” she reminded herself in a whisper. She had to call him Jay. It didn’t bode well that he hadn’t even given her his real name, but he would open up. People loved talking to her. She made sure of it. Once, in journalism school, she’d gotten a three-hundred-fifty-pound college lineman to cry during an interview when she’d asked him about his favorite childhood pet.

  That in mind, she patted her messy bun into place and rang the doorbell.

  Squinting, she watched for a shadow to emerge from behind the glass door, but nothing happened. Tapping her foot, she rang it again. The distant sound of barking could be heard somewhere inside. Within a few minutes, Bella was bouncing and lunging against the door. Where was J.J.? Jay, she quickly corrected. Had he changed his mind about their arrangement?

  Right when she was about to turn around and stalk back to the car in defeat, the door opened. Bella hurtled outside, yipping and whining and covering Kate’s bare arms with kisses.

  When Kate looked up, she nearly fell over, and it wasn’t from Bella’s weight against her legs either. J.J.—Jay, God, that was going to mess her up—looked a lot different than he had in his stocking c
ap and sunglasses. His light brown hair was mussed into spikes, and he still had the sleepy eyes of a little boy. Except he was shirtless. And there wasn’t anything boyish about his bulletproof pecs and tight abs. Either he did five hundred sit-ups every day or the man had some crazy good genes. Or maybe he had a distant relation to the mythological gods…

  “Sorry I didn’t answer right away.” Drowsiness lowered his voice into a sexy tenor. “I guess I overslept.”

  “It’s no problem.” She hiked her gaze up to his eyes. How long had she been staring at his shirtless torso? And more importantly, had he noticed? “I oversleep all the time,” she babbled. “It seems like I’m always the last one rolling into work.”

  His head tilted as he studied her. “What do you do?”

  Oops. She had to be careful with questions like that. Lucky for her, he still seemed a bit groggy. “Boring stuff. Really boring.” She’d already made herself a vow that she would tell the truth as much as possible. “I edit stuff. Unimportant stuff that no one reads.” At least, that could describe her first few weeks at her new job. But once she wrote this story, things would change.

  She swept past him and walked into the house before he could fire off more questions. “Wow. This place is amazing. Seriously impressive.” A little cold for her taste with the gleaming white walls, uniform leather furniture, and the glossy, seemingly unused kitchen.

  “It’s the only place I could find on short notice.”

  Kate made the mistake of turning around to smile at him. He still hadn’t put on a shirt, the jerk. “So what did you say you’re doing at the resort again?” she asked, running her hand along the white marble countertop in the kitchen.

  “Actually, I didn’t say.” His voice was no longer deep and sleepy. Now it was just dull.

  She waited out the awkward silence until he gave in with a sigh.

  “I’m on a crew that’s helping build the new terrain park.”

  “Sounds fascinating.” She kept her gaze even with his. Don’t. Look. Down. Or she’d get all weak-kneed and woozy at the sight of his hot body again. She couldn’t afford to let Jay make her weak-kneed and woozy. “So you must be into snowboarding, then.”

  His eyes dodged hers. “I guess.”

  Wonderful. He was very informative. Getting him to open up and agree to an interview wasn’t going to be easy. Good thing she had a whole week. She would have to get creative about making excuses to spend time with him. He didn’t seem overly thrilled with the fact that she currently stood in his kitchen. Well get used to it, buddy.

  Kate turned and started opening the grayish glass cabinets.

  “What’re you doing?” Jaden walked over and closed one. “Why are you going through my stuff?”

  “I’m looking for the dog food,” she told him, opening another cabinet. Which was completely empty. “Remember? I’ll have Bella all day. I’m sure she’ll get hungry. Or did you already feed her?”

  After he shook his head, she opened yet another cabinet. Wow. The man had about six boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios stacked above the sink. And he was looking at her like she was crazy? “When’s the last time you ate a real meal?”

  “I eat.” He stiffly marched past her and disappeared into a pantry for a minute. When he came back, he had a dog dish and a bag of food. “She eats twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon.” He shoved the stuff into Kate’s hands. “Think you need anything else?” He clearly wanted her to go, and that was probably best since he refused to put on a shirt and she couldn’t stop ogling his body.

  “Nope. I think this is it. We’re good. Right, Bella?” With a bright smile, she turned and headed for the door. “I’ll have her home at five o’clock sharp.”

  Jay followed behind her. “If I’m not here, you can just let her into the house through the garage. The code is one-two-three-four.”

  She laughed, caught between amusement and a nervous giggle. “Wow. It’s like Fort Knox.”

  He shrugged, tensing those broad shoulders. “Don’t have much to worry about way up here.”

  That was true. Well…the normal person didn’t have to worry about much, but J.J. Alexander had just given her the code to his house. Which meant he’d basically handed her an all-access pass into his life.

  * * *

  Was it just him or were the days getting longer? Jaden shouldered his backpack and started the hike back to the ATV he’d left at the base of the mountain. Eight o’clock. Damn. Late again. Good thing he had someone to watch Bella. Even if the woman happened to be overly chipper and obnoxiously nosy at eight o’clock in the morning. At least all that energy should be good for wearing out his dog. Hopefully Bella had gone to sleep after Kate dropped her off.

  “Hey, J.J., hold up.” Blake Wilder came sprinting down the hill, and Jaden swallowed a groan. The man had never been his favorite person, but he had to admit—begrudgingly—Blake obviously knew what he was doing. Since the man had taken over resort operations four years ago, they’d almost doubled in size.

  Jaden strapped his backpack to the ATV and waited.

  “Looks like things are coming together ahead of schedule,” Blake said as he approached. “I called out the inspectors for the end of this week. Think we can make it?”

  “With the hours we’ve been putting in? Definitely.” A few more twelve-hour days and they’d wrap up this project. The thought didn’t thrill him as much as it seemed to thrill Blake.

  “You got any idea what you’ll do next?”

  That question had haunted him for the last few days. “Haven’t thought about it much.” What options did he have except to go hide somewhere else? Last week, that would’ve been his first response, but Levi’s optimism the other night had made him think twice about picking up and leaving again.

  “I’m going to level with you here, Alexander.” Blake only seemed to be able to remember people’s last names. “I want a bigger focus on snowboarding around here. That’s the direction we need to go. And I think you’re the guy to get us there.”

  Jaden couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed, but he was this close. “I’m not exactly well loved in the snowboarding community anymore,” he reminded him.

  “But you still have a name. You still have the knowledge and experience I need.” That was the other thing about Blake Wilder. When he looked at people, he saw only how they could meet his needs. “I could create a position for you here. Manager for the terrain park. I need someone out here every day during the winter season.”

  “You’re offering me a full-time job?” Was this a joke?

  “You’re the perfect candidate,” Blake insisted. “You’d be responsible for daily risk assessments, inspections, and the maintenance and testing of all the features.”

  Which meant he’d have to get on a board again. Anxiety skittered through him, headed straight for his heart, and dug in its claws. That’s where it always hit him, deep in the chest, poking and taunting and squeezing until the palpitations started. He couldn’t even think about getting on a board again.

  “The salary wouldn’t be what you’re used to making. But you’d get full benefits. And there’d be bonuses if you were willing to do some public events to help with publicity.”

  Public events? Hadn’t Blake seen what a train wreck his life had become? Jaden would show up for the public event, and there’d be hecklers and media and the same shit storm he’d been trying to escape. He climbed onto the ATV, ready to start the engine and get the hell out of there. “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think it’ll work out.” He’d never strap his boots onto a board again.

  “Think about it.” Blake backed away. “Offer stands for a while. But I’d need a commitment by the end of the project. If it’s not you, I’ll have to find someone else.”

  He wanted to tell him he didn’t need to think about it. He’d never be able to do it, even if he wanted to. Instead, he gave the man a nod, put on his helmet, and then drove down the mountain.

  By the tim
e he made it to his street, the sky was nearly dark, but he could make out a faint outline of a car parked next to the curb in front of his house. Had the media found him somehow? Instinctively, he slowed, but as he got closer he realized it was only a small SUV that looked suspiciously similar to the one Kate had been driving.

  What the hell was she doing at his house at eight thirty?

  He parked the ATV in front of the garage and cruised through the front door, looking around the empty rooms.

  “Hello?” Not even Bella ran to greet him.

  Just when he was about to go out front and search Kate’s car, he noticed the French doors to the back deck had been left cracked open. He jogged over and slipped outside.

  “Oh, good. You’re finally back.” Kate stood at the grill wearing a white apron and wielding a huge set of stainless steel tongs. “Perfect timing.”

  Jaden looked around once more to make sure he was in the right house. Yep. It seemed to be his rental. His deck. His grill that she was leaning over. What was he missing here? “What’re you doing?”

  “Making you dinner,” she said as though this were a normal everyday occurrence. “Filet mignon with grilled asparagus.” She flipped the sizzling hunks of meat. “Oh! And mashed potatoes with bacon and garlic.”

  Uh…“Why?” That was the only word he could seem to manage from the fog of shock. He couldn’t deny that Kate Livingston was gorgeous. Even more captivating under the soft glow of the globe lights strung overhead. Captivating in a way that triggered his anxiety. For the last couple of months, he’d done his best to feel nothing. It was easier. But she stirred something. A craving that ached all the way through him.

  “What do you mean why?” She seemed to laugh so easily. “Okay. I admit it. This is a pity dinner.”

  “A pity dinner.” He couldn’t seem to do much more than repeat her.

  “All you have in that lavish kitchen of yours are six boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios.” She shrugged and turned back to the grill. “I feel sorry for you. How long has it been since you’ve had steak and potatoes?”