Cowboy on My Mind

by R. C. Ryan

  “Eight years.” He hadn’t eaten potatoes for eight years. They had too much starch, and he’d had to keep his body fit.

  She spun and gaped at him, those standout eyes wide with a look of genuine shock. “Eight. Years?”

  “I’ve had steak. Just not potatoes.” But he’d loved mashed potatoes growing up. That might’ve been his favorite food. Gram used to dump in butter and real cream and fresh herbs from the garden…

  “God, really?” she repeated. “Where have you been? In prison?”

  “No.” But actually, these last three months had felt like exile. Not that he could tell her that.

  “Well, I hope you’re hungry.” Kate walked over to the patio table, which had already been set with dishes and silverware. “Because we have a ton of food. And Darla insisted on sending me home with some wine and truffles.” She uncorked a fancy bottle and poured the red wine into two glasses.

  Jaden stood right where he was. He had no clue what to make of Kate Livingston. She seemed friendly and innocent. Or maybe that was just the dimples in her smile. Maybe she only looked friendly and innocent. Maybe she’d go all Fatal Attraction on him any minute. “Why are you here?” he asked again, and this time he wasn’t being polite. “Why are you in my house making me dinner?”

  Kate set down her wineglass, her shoulders slumping from confidence to surrender. She seemed to think a minute and then turned and walked toward him as though giving up. She stopped a foot away, her mouth no longer smiling. “I’m lonely. Okay?” Her chipper voice had mellowed. “Things in my life aren’t awesome right now. I’m not exactly in a place I want to be. And after I saw your house this morning, I figured maybe you were lonely too.”

  Now, that he could understand.

  “Okay, then,” Jaden said, taking his place at the table. “Let’s eat.”

  Chapter Five

  Well, what do you know? All those things her mom said about the truth being the best policy were actually legit.

  Kate pushed her plate away. As soon as she’d admitted to Jaden that she happened to be lonely, too, everything changed. He still wasn’t a Chatty Cathy by any means, but during their dinner, she’d managed to make small talk, and he’d answered all of her questions about the new terrain park in impressive detail.

  Unfortunately, he didn’t seem interested in talking about anything else, and all the effort she was making to carry the conversation while doing her best to ignore his smoldering good looks was starting to wear on her.

  Kate checked him out again. Was it possible that Jay had gotten even hotter as they sat there across from each other? Or was that wine talking?

  “Thanks for dinner.” Jay tossed his napkin onto his empty plate. There was something magnetic about his eyes when he wasn’t so sullen. They were focused and open. Good listening eyes.

  Kate looked away. “I’m glad you liked it.” It’d been a while since she’d cooked for someone who actually appreciated it. The last guy she’d dated would head straight for the television and turn on the latest football game after they ate, leaving her to do the dishes. But she wasn’t dating J.J. Alexander. Ha. That would be…ridiculous. She wasn’t here to get lost in his magic eyes or sigh with rapture when he smiled, which was so rare that the shock of it made her heart twirl every time.

  She was here to get a damn story.

  “You seem cold.” Jay eyed the goose bumps on her arms.

  Cold. Right. Sure. That’s what it was…

  “Want me to turn on the fire?”

  She looked past him to the dark outline of the mountainous horizon. When the sun had slipped behind the peaks, the temperature had dropped about twenty degrees, but she hadn’t noticed until he’d said something. A fire already burned low in her belly. “Uh. Sure. Yeah. A fire would be great.”

  Jaden bent and opened a small door on the side of the table, and as if be magic, flames illuminated the decorative rock piled in the center of the table.

  In any other situation, it would’ve been intimate and romantic, with the stars glistening overhead, the shushing of the wind in the pine trees. But this was an interview. So instead of settling back into her chair and enjoying the peaceful night more than she should, she leaned forward and folded her hands on the table, ignoring the way the fire made Jaden’s face glow. “So, Jay…” She smiled, summoning her impeccable small-talk skills. “What do you do when you’re not working on terrain parks?”

  “In the past, I’ve competed.” His eyes hardened again, as though petitioning her to leave it at that.

  Only she couldn’t. “You don’t compete anymore?” She figured he’d come back eventually, like all those other professional athletes who were mandated to take a short time-out after a scandal but then eventually came back and made their victorious reappearance.

  “No. I can’t compete anymore.”

  He can’t? That’s not what all of the news reports had said. It sounded like his injury had been relatively minor, all things considered. “Why not?”

  “I crashed.” His face remained perfectly still. There wasn’t even a twitch in his jaw. “Got injured.”

  It seemed she wasn’t the only one who exceled at telling the partial truth. What could she expect, though? He didn’t know her, didn’t trust her. She’d have to earn that over time.

  “So what about you?” The fact that Jaden was actually asking her a question obviously meant he wanted to change the subject. “Do you like being an editor?”

  “No.” Huh. Had she ever admitted that out loud to anyone else? “I mean, after graduate school, I always saw myself doing something different,” she corrected. “Something more important.”

  His eyes softened again as he gazed across the fire at her. “Like what?”

  She didn’t even have to think. “Writing stories that change the world.” That had been the reason she’d pursued journalism in the first place. She could’ve become a doctor like her brother and sister, but she loved words. She saw power in words. “I wanted to be another Gloria Steinem. A journalist. A political activist.”

  “So why aren’t you?”

  Easy for him to say. He probably still had millions of dollars squirreled away somewhere. But she hadn’t wanted to fulfill her parents’ prophecies that she’d have to live in their posh Beverly Hills basement in order to survive. “I had to find a job.” It was more than that, though. It was the rejection. She’d written a couple of pieces, figuring if she couldn’t get hired at any of the prestigious publications, she could work her way there by freelancing.

  So she’d written a profile about a girl she’d met on the Metro. After seeing her for a few days in a row, Kate struck up a conversation with the young teen and learned that she’d recently joined a gang. Once she got to know her, Kate had written an article detailing the plight of young women in poverty and why more and more are turning to gangs in order to survive.

  All total, she’d amassed forty-three rejection emails from various publications, telling her that either no one wanted to read about girls in gangs, or the article wasn’t exactly what they were looking for at the moment, or she had a bland writing style. Kate sighed. “According to the rejection letters, I’m not good enough.”

  Jaden shrugged. “Then you make yourself good enough.”

  “I don’t know how.” She’d done everything. She’d aced journalism school. She’d gotten in touch with all of the contacts she’d built over the years. No one wanted her.

  “Well, you shouldn’t give up.”

  He’d given up, though. “Why can’t you go back to competing, then? Athletes overcome injuries all the time.”

  “It’s more complicated than that,” Jaden said, staring into the fire. “And anyway, we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you, Kate.” He raised his eyes to hers.

  She actually shivered when he said her name. At some point, she’d lost control of the conversation, and worse, of her heart. It beat hard and hot and fast. Shit. She couldn’t do this. Couldn’t fall for him.
“I should do the dishes.” Clumsily, she gathered up their silverware and plates and slipped into the house with Bella following at her heels. Easing out a breath, she carted everything to the kitchen sink.

  Unfortunately, Jaden did not head straight for the television set to turn on whatever sports match would be playing in May. Nope. He came right into the kitchen and stood behind her. “I can do the dishes.”

  “That’s okay,” she sang as she turned on the faucet. “I’ve got it.” She’d intended to use the few minutes of rinsing and washing to regroup, but it was obvious that she wouldn’t be able to recover. She could feel him standing behind her, feel her body being drawn to his…

  “Sorry if I said something that made you uncomfortable.” Jay reached around her and turned off the faucet.

  “Oh no, not at all.” She didn’t know what to do with the wet plate in her hands. It wasn’t anything he’d said. It was the way he’d started to look at her. The way he was looking at her now. Like he saw much more than she’d ever intended for him to see.

  “I didn’t mean to overstep.” He inched closer, his gaze settling on her mouth. “But I think, if you want something, you should go after it.”

  “Mmm-hmmm.” Kate carefully set the plate back in the sink before she dropped it. This was happening. Even with the warning lights of panic flashing behind her eyes, her body was moving closer to him.

  Jaden’s hand reached for her, fingers gentle against her cheek as he turned her face to his. The touch melted into her, softening her hesitations right along with her knees. Jay looked at her for moment, and all she saw was a man. Not J.J. Alexander, or a snowboarding champion, or a die-hard athlete who’d taken out his competition.

  He was a man as caught up in the currents of seduction as she was.

  This is a terrible idea. The thought flitted through her mind but found no place to land before Jay’s lips came for hers and everything fell silent. The power of him overtook her senses. In the darkness of her closed eyes, she saw sparks of red. She smelled a subtle hint of aftershave—scents of rosemary’s spiciness.

  A sound come from his throat, an utterance of want, need, hunger.

  She answered with a moan when the stubble of his jaw scraped against her cheek as his lips fused with hers.

  And the taste of his tongue…It was wine and notes of chocolate, ecstasy in the hotness of her mouth. A helpless sigh brought her body against his, and he held her close in those strong arms as though he wanted to keep her right there. “This is even better than dinner,” he breathed, lips grazing her cheek before teasing their way down her neck.

  “Better than dessert too.” Her whisper got lost in another moan. His lips left a burning mark on every spot they kissed—between her jaw and her ear, the base of her throat, the very center of her collarbone.

  “Even better than dessert,” he agreed, his voice low and gruff. He raised his face to hers, and that rare smile hiked up one corner of his seductive mouth before he kissed her again, deeper this time, leaving no question that he was taking his own advice and going after what he wanted.

  She wanted it, too, so much she was lost in it—the rush of passion and emotion he brought rising to the surface. She could kiss this man forever. Every morning and every night. Every time he offered her the gift of his smile. Except…the word clawed its way through the exhilaration of a first kiss, a potential new love.

  Except.

  He had no idea who she really was, what she was really supposed to be doing here. The thought rushed in as cold as the mountain air outside, forcing her to break away from him.

  Holding her fingers to her lips, she stepped out of his reach, struggling in vain to catch her breath. “I have to go.”

  “Go?” Jay looked as dazed as she’d been ten seconds ago.

  “Yes.” She rushed past him before he could touch her again. She couldn’t think when he touched her. “I’m late.”

  “For what?” he asked, following behind her.

  “For…book club.” She hastily packed up the cloth market bags Naomi had loaned her. There were other things too—the apron she’d taken off outside, the corkscrew for the wine. But she would have to get those later. “Everly and her friends invited me,” she said. “It’s at Darla’s place. I totally lost track of time. I’m so sorry.” Before she could make it to the front door, Jay slipped in front of it, blocking her escape.

  “I’m the one who’s sorry. I think I misread something.”

  “No. You didn’t.” He definitely hadn’t misread her attraction to him. “This just…caught me off guard.” She’d made him dinner to get him to talk to her. Instead she’d ended up seducing herself.

  “Yeah, it was pretty unexpected.” He seemed to search her eyes. “But I don’t mind being surprised once in a while. Do you?”

  “No. I don’t mind being surprised.” Not normally. She loved surprises. But she liked them better when they came without a dagger of guilt stabbed right into her chest.

  “Good.” He stepped aside and even opened the door for her. “Thanks for making me dinner, Kate. It’s been a long time since anyone’s done something like that for me.”

  The words twisted the knife. “You’re welcome,” she murmured before she slipped out into the night.

  “See you tomorrow morning?” he called behind her.

  No. She should say no and walk away from this right now. But what would that look like? Her going back to search for her tent and resume her week on the trail? She’d already told Gregor about the detour, and he’d told her to get an interview with J.J. Besides, maybe it would help Jaden too. From what she’d seen in the short time she’d spent with him, he had some unresolved issues surrounding the accident. Maybe talking about them would help.

  With that in mind, she forced herself to turn around and even dredged up a smile. “See you tomorrow.”

  Chapter Six

  Kate drove straight to the Chocolate Therapist. Yes, indeed, she needed some serious therapy.

  Once again, she’d mostly told the truth. She happened to know her new friends were having their book club meeting tonight, and book club meetings were a great place to talk, right? To get advice on what to do when the subject of what could be the biggest, career-defining story of your entire career ambushes your plans for an interview with a sexy kiss that could’ve easily led to more. So. Much. More.

  With a screech of tires, Kate swerved to the curb in front of Darla’s wine bar and hit the brakes, scrambling to get out of the car. The effect of Jay’s very capable lips had yet to wear off. Her hands hadn’t trembled like this since she’d once mistaken her Uber driver for Zac Efron. He was a dead ringer.

  The restaurant sat empty and dark except for a glow coming from a back hallway.

  Kate rapped her fist against the glass. This was a disaster. Jay had gone from being distant and unreadable to kissing her in the span of one dinner. And that kiss…it was unforgettable. She couldn’t pretend like it didn’t happen. The memory of his smile, his lips—softer than she’d imagined they would be—had already burrowed into the section of her heart where her favorite moments lived on forever.

  After another hearty knock, Darla finally came jogging out from the back room. The woman happened to be knockout gorgeous. A few years older than Kate maybe, with jet-black hair streaked with red and cut into a stylish pixie. Her skin had that youthful glow women paid good money to achieve, but Kate had a feeling Darla didn’t care that much. Her clothes were stylish but subtle, too, as demonstrated by the chic tunic she wore over black leggings and fabulous leather boots. Where did she find those in Topaz Falls anyway?

  Kate shook her head. She could not get distracted by a pair of boots right now.

  On her way to the door, Darla waved as though they’d known each other for years instead of two days and quickly unlatched the lock. “So glad you could make it!” She waved Kate inside. “Naomi said you couldn’t come because you had other plans.”

  “I did.” And they’d been thwarted
by a shunned snowboarder who apparently was not the monster everyone wanted him to be. “But my dinner got a little out of hand and I need some advice.”

  “Then you’re definitely in the right place.” Darla linked their arms together as they walked down the back hallway. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you.” She leaned closer. “We were supposed to discuss Mind-Blowing Intimacy tonight. Can you believe it?” They paused outside an open door. “Things have really gone downhill around here since Jessa and Naomi got married.”

  “We can hear you,” Jessa called from inside the room.

  “It might be good for you to discuss a book on healthy relationships,” Naomi added as Kate and Darla walked in.

  The coziness of the space instantly put Kate at ease. It was set up like a living room that could’ve been featured in an HGTV episode. Jessa and Naomi sat on a sagging old Victorian couch while Everly occupied one of two overstuffed chairs on the other side of a rectangular coffee table that looked like it had been made from an old door. The pops of color in the bright paintings on the walls and the polka-dotted pillows had as much personality as the women in the room.

  “I’m not interested in a relationship that lasts more than twenty-four hours,” Darla informed Kate with a wicked smile. “I’m all for simple, uncomplicated sex.”

  “Hear, hear,” Everly agreed.

  “Does that exist?” Kate couldn’t help but ask. Because in her world, even a simple kiss came with complications.

  “No. It does not,” Jessa insisted. “In chapter eight of Mind-Blowing Intimacy, it says, and I quote, ‘Every act of sexual intimacy leaves its mark on the human soul. Sex does more than bring two bodies together. It also unites their hearts and spirits and intellects, bringing the two into one.’”

  “Good Lord,” Darla muttered. “She’s got the whole damn book memorized.”

  “It’s a very insightful book,” Jessa shot back. “Even Lance thinks so. We read it together. He really enjoyed it.”