When Hari Met His Saali

by Harsh Warrdhan

  After his father had a bout of ill health Junior took over, and to keep the kids occupied he started teaching them magic. And after that the place became known as X-Ashram.

  ‘Wow, some story, huh? So how many kids are here?’ he asked.

  ‘It just depends. Lots of kids run away, some of them come back, so on an average about twenty to thirty are here at any one time. We feed them, we teach them math and such, we make them exercise and then they learn magic,’ Simi told him as they reached her cottage. It was about ten cottages away from his.

  ‘We?’ Hari asked.

  ‘What?’ Simi was startled by his question.

  Is he asking about them, the two of them? Is he refering to that ‘we’?

  ‘You keep saying we feed them, we this, we that. Have you taken up a job here?’ Hari clarified, and she started breathing normally again.

  Simi had had some time here alone, away from her familiar environment, and she had thought a lot about herself … and Hari. That was evident as she toyed with him.

  ‘What if I have?’

  ‘I would say that’s great, I mean if this is what you want to do,’ he replied.

  ‘And then what would you do?’

  ‘I’ll … I’ll just … I’ll also work here.’ Hari hadn’t even thought about it but saw this as a natural extension if he wanted to be with her.

  ‘Really? And leave your home, leave America?’

  ‘Yeah, I have lived there all my life, I’m kinda bored with it,’ he said sarcastically.

  ‘They also have a branch in Rajasthan, so I might be sent there. You know Rajasthan right? It’s a desert! Then what?’

  ‘Then I’ll come there too.’ He knew she was toying with him. He played along.

  ‘You are something. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to freshen up. You also do the same and come to the mess hall. Everything is on a timetable here. Prayers at seven forty-five p.m., dinner at eight p.m. and lights out by ten,’ she informed him as she went into her cottage.

  Hari arrived late at the mess hall. The prayers had started already. Everyone turned to look at him. He figured they were staring at him because he was new and was the only other young adult apart from Simi, but when she signaled towards his shoes, he realized no one else was wearing shoes, so he went outside and removed them.

  The prayers were simple and short and mostly thanked God for everything he had afforded these people. Xavier was in the mess hall on his bed.

  ‘We bring him here so that he realizes he is amongst his people,’ Simi told him later.

  Next to him was Xavier Sr., in a wheelchair. He looked like he must have been one hundred years old and would go ‘Brrrr, brrr!’ from time to time.

  ‘He has a phobia that people around here will forget about him but doesn’t have the energy to talk so he keeps making some sounds from time to time,’ she later told him.

  During dinner everyone sat on the floor. There were no chairs and tables. This was not a dining room. It was just a big hall that was used for multiple purposes and was referred to differently depending on the event.

  ‘Games at the sports complex, lunch at the mess hall, meeting in the conference room.’ But it was the same big room.

  There were three age groups at the X-Ashram. One was the under-tens, those were the kids, then those above fifty, the staff and volunteers all of whom he came to know when Mr. Ayyangar introduced everyone.

  ‘He is Mr. Gupta, that’s Mr. Mukherjee, that’s Raghavan, that’s Khan Saab,’ and although he didn’t immediately understand the diversity, he thought it was along the lines of those Banana Republic advertisements.

  Then there was Hari and Simi, they had a whole age group to themselves.

  Sitting next to him at dinner was a nine-year-old boy with a shaved head and a jutting ponytail, like a mini pandit. He kept looking at Hari.

  ‘I am Vishu. You must be American,’ he said, finally introducing himself.

  ‘No, I am Hari.’ Hari smiled at him but he didn’t really like all those kids looking at him while he was eating as if he were from some other planet.

  After dinner Simi went to her cottage and Hari to his. He was skeptical at first about whether he’d be able to sleep on the hard mattress, but no sooner than he laid on it, he was snoring.

  But life was not easy at this place. For instance, the next morning, when Hari had woken up, he couldn’t tell where the bathrooms were. And he had to go — badly. He ran outside his cottage and was searching for someone to ask when he saw little Vishu walking towards the river.

  ‘Hey, buddy,’ he called out.

  ‘I am Vishu, not buddy.’

  ‘Yes, yes, listen where’s the bathroom?’

  ‘Come, I am going there myself’

  Hari had walked with him until they reached a bushy area next to the river.

  ‘Where, where? I don’t see any bathrooms here.’

  ‘Right here, buddy.’ Vishu was laughing. As Hari looked at him in disbelief Vishu lowered his pants and squatted down. And by the time Hari’s next line of questioning started Vishu was halfway through finishing his business.

  ‘Take one of those banana leaves to cover yourself and sit down,’ Vishu instructed.

  ‘Are you serious?’ Hari asked. He was flabbergasted to say the least, but the call of nature was such that he grabbed the nearest leaf, lowered his pajamas and squatted down.

  ‘So you’re here for Simi Didi, huh?’ Vishu wanted to have a conversation now, whereas Hari was looking this way and that. He was having performance anxiety, which was not good for his bowel movements.

  ‘Shh … I am trying to concentrate.’ Hari had his eyes squinted as he tried to do what he had done so effortlessly every morning.

  He also kept saying ‘sorry’ and ‘excuse me’ every time he passed gas.

  ‘Tch … I am doing the same, na? Why sorry?’ Vishu said generously.

  When Hari asked what to use for toilet paper Vishu gave him two choices.

  ‘Either cool down for two minutes in the natural air or go to the river like a frog and use the water,’ he told him, looking at Hari as if to say ‘How can you not know this?’

  Nobody knows which option Hari used as the only witness, Vishu, had used the dry method after he was done, and then ran away.

  ‘Bye!’ he called out as he left Hari alone.

  Hari had freaked out.

  ‘Buddy, buddy … Vishu … stop hiding … Vishu.’

  The next day — X Ashram

  Simi took permission from Mr. Ayyangar to allow Hari into one of his magic classes in the big lecture hall. He was amazed to see kids performing complex magic tricks. These were not your simple card tricks; these were illusions.

  To showcase their talents, the kids even performed an illusion on him. Vishu, the most talented of the lot, asked him if he had money in his pockets. Hari fished out a dollar note and gave it to him. Vishu crumpled the note in his palm and then asked his assistants to empty Hari’s pockets inside out.

  ‘Abracadabra!’ he said. ‘Do you have any money in your pockets now, Hari?’

  Hari played along thinking how cute, my money is in his palms.

  ‘No!’

  ‘Raise your hands up!’ Vishu instructed.

  But when Hari raised his hands, money started pouring out of both of his pockets like an ATM dispensing money — and it was one hundred dollar bills too. Hari could not believe it.

  ‘What is this, an X-Men ashram or something?’ he joked with Simi and then tried to explain that ‘X-Men is this film …’

  ‘I know what X-Men is, Hari. I have seen them all,’ Simi cut him halfway. ‘What did you think of our magic? You give us a dollar, we give you back hundreds?’

  ‘Our magic? What did you do?’ he teased her.

  ‘I distracted you, you fool.’ She had flipped her hair at him before strutting away.

  Hari had since run the trick scenario over in his head to figure out just how she distracted him but he never managed to f
igure it out. Some things are better left to the imagination.

  Hari also kept that money. He never counted it or had it checked to see if it were real or fake, not because it was beside the point, and also because he wanted to believe in magic.

  That night after dinner Hari and Simi went for a walk. For quite some time they just walked, without speaking.

  ‘Finally, I found you,’ he said, breaking the silence.

  ‘You shouldn’t have, Hari. But now that you are here, stay for a day or two and then go back!’ Simi replied.

  ‘But why?’

  ‘Because you don’t belong here. There’s no reason for you to be here!’

  ‘Yes there is, and a big one. I have come here to thank Mr. Xavier.’

  ‘Yeah right, you never even visited him in the hospital when he was in America and now you want to thank him? For what?’

  ‘For doing whatever he did to me. It is because of him that I am in love with you, Simi.’

  By then they had reached an open field, like a cricket ground. The moon was bright and full, the stars were clearly visible and sparkling on them. It was so quiet they could hear each other’s heartbeat.

  ‘Oh stop it, Hari. It is never going to work. You and me — our relationship’s foundation itself was a mistake, an accident. How can we sustain it for all of our lives?’

  ‘Because when you cut out all the verbosity and all the talk, what remains are the feelings between two people, and I know for a fact that we have those feelings for each other.’

  ‘You don’t know anything about my feelings.’

  ‘Yes, I do. I can see into your soul, Simi, and you are the only woman I could ever understand in that way. It never happened with Tia. You are so pure and uncorrupt. I just want to spend my life in your soul.’

  ‘Shh … don’t say things like that. I have trouble keeping out beautiful things you say to me, they keep running in my head.’

  ‘I am saying very ordinary and clichéd things, Simi. I have most likely read or heard them someplace. But you know what makes them beautiful for you?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘Because you hear them, you take them within you and they mix with your own feelings about me. Then they feel beautiful.’

  She couldn’t keep looking at him; he was staring into her eyes. She looked away.

  ‘And you know how I know that? Because the same thing happens to me. I remember each and everything about you no matter how minor. If this is not love, Simi, what is?’

  ‘Shhh … don’t say a word. Just sit.’ She had grabbed his hands and sat him down.

  There they sat under the beautiful naked sky, under the moonlight at a place that was almost on the edge of the world for Hari, and there they sat every night since. Sometimes not speaking at all, just sitting there, or lying on the blanket Hari had started bringing along.

  They would spend time with Xavier. Mostly just sitting and holding his hands, letting him know they were there. It was part of their shift at the X-Ashram.

  The Xaviers were a popular and respected people in the Pondicherry community due to their social work, and the city’s wealthy citizens had high regards for them. Xavier was being treated like he was in a five-star hospital. His expenses were being borne by an anonymous entrepreneur. There was a rumor that it was a South Indian superstar known for his charitable work, but regardless of who it was, no effort was spared in providing him with the proper care.

  Still, there was no improvement in his condition.

  As the days went by

  Their time in the ashram seemed like a honeymoon to Hari and Simi, albeit a platonic one. Nonetheless it felt real and very special to both of them. Hari had made these hammocks from jute ropes with the help of the old brigade and hung them across two old banyan trees in the far corner of the ashram.

  Hari and Simi would have a non-conversational, post-lunch siesta there. It was the most peaceful time in the world for Hari, with the most beautiful woman in the world, if not next to, but at least close by him. The day would be idyllic and active, chaotic and serene, hard but uncomplicated.

  These were the best of times.

  But as the fun and light banter of the first few days wore off, Hari started becoming antsy. He wanted to get a commitment from Simi. So that night, with the permission of Mr. Ayyangar, he took Simi out of the ashram to do some sightseeing in Pondicherry. They visited a couple of temples, where Simi prayed with her eyes closed while he watched her.

  ‘You should also pray and ask God for something. They say whatever you wish for here, it comes true,’ she told him with a straight face.

  Hari didn’t believe in all this and let her know it.

  ‘I have seen a scene like this in a stupid Bollywood movie. It’s all fake.’

  ‘It’s not fake. It happens to be true in real life and hence it is shown in the stupid Bollywood movie,’ she snapped back at him.

  ‘How can you not believe in God? He does miraculous things,’ she had argued.

  ‘You mean magical things? Like Xavier does? Are you telling me you believe in that?’ Hari had asked teasingly.

  She was pissed and was walking ahead of him to let him know. He caught up with her.

  ‘You know, you give me a hard-on when you are angry!’

  ‘A hard what?’ Simi didn’t know what a hard-on meant, but she sensed it was not appropriate.

  ‘Are you talking dirty to me? In a mandir?’ She was now really angry and shook her body as if to shake off the bad words Hari had thrown her way.

  Thankfully, he let go of that particular line of flirting, consoling himself that she was too innocent to understand it and had left the topic alone.

  Pondicherry is well known for its remarkable French influence — believed to be seen nowhere else in the Indian subcontinent. Simi wanted to try something French, but Hari suggested they try some seafood. So they had a dinner at a lovely restaurant called The Seagull. It had a sky deck with an amazing view of the Indian Ocean. This looked remarkably like Geoffrey’s to Hari, but the fish gravy they ordered was very spicy. After a hesitant nod from Simi, Hari ordered a beer, an Indian beer called Kingfisher, to go along with it.

  ‘Please don’t get drunk, Hari. I can’t take you to the ashram if you are drunk,’ she said timidly, careful not to spoil the mood.

  ‘That’ll be good no, we will book a five-star hotel room and spend the night together.’ Hari was just teasing, but it lit a fuse.

  ‘Hari, I have talked to Barry and Mary. They are worried about you and I told them that you are leaving from here on a flight tomorrow night!’ Simi told him as she fought off her own displeasure at the idea.

  ‘Simi! You had no right to do that. Why do you want to drive me away? What have I done to deserve this kind of treatment?’ Hari slowed down on his beer.

  She was hardly touching her food.

  ‘Just go away, Hari, don’t you realize that each day you stay longer, you are making my resolve weaker?’ She asked firmly, but under the table she was trying to tear pieces off the cloth napkin.

  ‘And what is your resolve, Simi?’

  ‘I want to get the release word from Xavier and then you’ll be out of his spell and … and …’

  ‘And what if even after he removes the spell, I still love you like I do now?’

  ‘Love, love, love. What will you do with love after causing so much pain to other people? One cannot live a whole life based on love, Hari. You are being childish. Life is a long journey; these lovey-dovey feelings disappear after few years, then what? Then the reality hits hard and it’s only compromise after that. A car needs all four wheels to be the same size. And you and me are anything but similar. And … and … I am not a career woman like … Tia. I don’t even know what I want to do in life, what will you do with me in yours? Have you thought of these things?’

  It occurred to him that her stance had shifted subtly. She was at least talking about their future now. It was not an outright rejection, now she was weighin
g the options, exploring.

  ‘I never wanted a career woman …’

  ‘It’s not just that, I don’t know what I want in life!’

  ‘And that’s OK too. Look at me, I am all over the place.’ He gulped beer and mockingly acted like a drunk.

  That made her laugh.

  Oh God, she really did not want him to go … away from her.

  They walked to the extremely famous promenade beach, which was dotted with several landmarks and memorials. They saw the War Memorial, the Statue of Mahatma Gandhi, a Statue of Joan of Arc and also the old lighthouse. They sat down on the sea front. He put his arm around her. She let him. Before she knew, she had rested her head on his shoulder.

  ‘Don’t get ideas, Hari, I am just using you because there’s a cramp in my neck!’ she said just as he was about to caress her hair.

  ‘Doesn’t it feel good to have someone to do that, to put your head on their shoulders?’ Hari so badly wanted to lift her chin and kiss her.

  ‘Yes, but I much rather do it with the man who loves me for me and not because some magic was making him do it.’ She thought she was teasing him, but he took it seriously.

  ‘What will it take to make you believe that I truly love you?’ he said after lifting her head and looking into her eyes.

  ‘Nothing. Not a thing and I mean that. Get that into your head!’ This time she was not teasing. She wanted him to know that she was serious.

  They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment and didn’t speak. But then, before she knew it, he had grabbed a handful of her hair and kissed her on her lips. She fought back only after a few moments had passed, and pushed him back harshly. Slap! She laid one hard across his face.

  ‘How dare you? This is not your America, this is India,’ she said, running away from him.

  Hari was stunned, humiliated and hurt. People around them must have heard the slap as they were looking over at them.

  When he reached her cottage, Simi wouldn’t open her door in spite of his knocking. He didn’t know that she was not inside.