Only a Glow

by Nichelle Rae

  He was crying. I watched a single tear run down his scaly face. “I almost died with your gag in my throat, Norka. Were you trying to kill me?”

  His eyes dropped closed and he shook his head slowly with the little freedom Ortheldo’s hold allowed. “No,” he whispered, holding in sobs. “I wass dissstracted by thessse two and accidentally left the magic in too long.”

  Ortheldo leaned over Norka to stare down into his eyes. “We don’t believe you.” Then he added pressure to the edge of the blade and a drop of blood trickled down the snake’s long neck. Norka’s eyes dropped closed slowly and the bottom part of his mouth began to quiver as another tear fell down his cheek.

  I wanted to cry for him. Maybe he was telling the truth. “Let him go, Ortheldo,” I said softly.

  His head snapped up to me and he stared at me for a moment. “What?” he asked, shocked. “But —”

  “I said let him go!”

  Norka’s eyes opened and he looked from me to Ortheldo, wondering if he would live or die. Ortheldo glared at me for a long time. Finally, with a drawn-out growl of frustration, he removed his sword from Norka’s neck and thrust his face downward before storming off into the woods.

  Norka bowed his head as he choked on sobs that threatened to escape. “Do you think I’m out here becaussse I’m free?” he asked. “I’m not. I’m sstill a prisoner, though I am far away. The leassh on me hass no limitsss.” His sobs came out at last. “I didn’t want to hurt any of you, leassst of all you. You have been ssso kind to me.”

  Then, I did the last thing in the world even I expected I would do: I dropped to my knees and hugged him. He gasped at the gentle touch, but quickly and eagerly accepted my embrace. He held on to me tightly as I let him cry on my shoulder.

  He cried forever, his sobs growing heavier, his embrace tighter. He cried from years of built up emotion; pain, loneliness, fear, and maybe even betrayal if he was innocent of his charges. All of it came out at once as his strength crumbled. I knew how that felt. Years and years of trying to be strong, then suddenly out of nowhere you collapse. All strength is gone at that point, as if it had never been there to begin with.

  I wanted to cry for Norka, but I still didn’t trust him. I held back my white tears that desperately wanted to burst forth for him. He might see them and know what I was, or, more importantly, what my sword was.

  A soft, airy giggle in the distance perked my ears to their keenest height to listen. I wondered if anyone else heard it. It came again as a shadow flashed in my view from behind Norka. My eyes went wide as I felt the lingering fear that had exploded from realizing Norka’s identity.

  Feariters.

  “Don’t move,” I whispered, trying desperately to stay calm.

  “I know. I hear them, too,” Norka replied.

  Rabryn!

  I slowly pulled away from Norka and looked back at him. He was glancing around with big eyes. I took a deep breath and tried to control my voice. “Rabryn. Stay calm.” He turned to me, his eyes still big. “Just think about our picnic and you’ll be safe. They’ll go away eventually.” He nodded, and I saw him take a deep breath and close his eyes.

  I couldn’t help my own fear. I’d read about Feariters and knew to stay calm in their presence, but it was so much easier to do when you had never heard their eerie, nightmarish giggles—because you would only hear those if you were a target.

  I closed my eyes and forced my breathing to steady. I wouldn’t become victim to these creatures. The giggles faded and were soon replaced with screams of agony. Those were more terrifying than the giggles. I forced myself to tightly lock the door on fear—it only made things worse, especially in this case. My body would not calm; I felt paralyzed suddenly. I couldn’t turn my ears away from the screams. I had to think of something.

  Ortheldo.

  The corners of my mouth tilted up at the thought of him. He was angry with me, but I didn’t care. I let my mind drift to that safe, intimate moment when he held me in his arms. I remembered how the emotions had felt, as they stirred up inside me like a cool breeze sweeping through my heart and soul. I listened to the thumping of my heart as my thoughts drifted to my dear friend.

  The next thing I knew a hand was on my shoulder. I snapped to awareness to see Rabryn crouching beside me. “They’re gone.”

  I looked around. There were no shadows and the screams were gone. I looked back at him with a smirk. “I’m glad you didn’t get yourself eaten.”

  He smiled. “I’m glad you told me to think of our picnic.”

  I grinned. “It’s my job to protect you.”

  I saw a look of shame flash through his eyes. My brows dropped and he looked away, not wanting me to see it, so I turned back to Norka. “Are you okay?”

  He nodded. I noticed he was still crying. I wiped the tears on his face. “Alright, I’m ready to listen to you now, and you’d better spill your guts before Ortheldo comes back and spills them for you.”

  He let out a small quiet laugh. “What do you wisssh to know?”

  “Why are you here?”

  “I was sent by my Misssstress to help you.”

  “Why?”

  “Becaussse I volunteered to go.”

  That wasn’t what I meant, but my eyebrows dropped. “Why?”

  Norka sighed and sat himself comfortably on the ground, crossing his legs. Rabryn and I did the same and leaned in to listen. “Becaussse, as I told you, I am innocent of my chargesss. I would have gone on a mission to help Hathum himself if it meant I could escape Tribeltwel.”

  My awareness spiked. That was the wrong thing to say, at the wrong time, to the wrong person!

  He nervously began working hands together after he saw my eyes bulged. “I’m sssorry. I ssshouldn’t have said that.”

  “Go on,” I said carefully.

  “Rumorss of the necklace’s lossss are everywhere. Evil iss already on the hunt for it, and my Mistresss had a vision—one of her many magical talentss. She sssaw that it ended up with you and that you were going to need help.

  “I’m happy to ssay that ssshe favored me among all the prisssoners. I did a lot of her persssonal work, like cleaning and assssisting her with spells or potions. I’d do anything for her if it got me away from the wild land.

  “I think she may have known sssomehow that I didn’t belong there, that I was framed, but with the blue dragon you never can tell what ssshe thinks. Maybe she just wanted to get rid of me ssso she let me come to you.” He paused. “She first wanted me to go into the wild landss and fetch someone sstronger than me that would be bessst to go on this misssion, but I volunteered myssself and she agreed. She told me what I needed to know to find you…and ssshe told me of my death.”

  “What do you mean, she told you of your death?” I asked suspiciously.

  He looked up at me from under his naked brows. “It meansss I’m sssomehow going to die in an effort to help you.”

  My eyes went wide. “You’re what?”

  “I’m going to die sssomehow on this trip. I will never again return to Tribeltwel, which is the bessst news I’d heard in yearsss, and the main reason why I volunteered to go.”

  I wanted to change the subject and quick! I didn’t want to hear about someone being happy about dying. “Why the leash? And why won’t she let you eat?”

  His eyes went down again. “I’m still a prisoner. She still hasss a responsibility to keep me under control, keep my magic under control, so she put the leash on. And I’m ssstill obligated to sssuffer for the crimess I was convicted for, so ssshe wanted me to starve. She gave me only enough food to last the time it took getting to you. After it ran out, she sssaid I wasn’t allowed to eat. That way I wouldn’t return to Tribeltwel at all. Either I’d die of ssstarvation, or die helping you. Misstressss Laroevith is very merciful,” he said, as that immeasurable sadness and despair swept through his eyes again.

  Now I asked the question that I wasn’t sure I wanted answered. “What were you convicted for?”

&
nbsp; His eyes flicked up to me. “Using my magic for murder and treassson in Fayithjen.”

  I swallowed past the lump in my throat as I felt Rabryn tense up. “Who did you, or did you not, kill?”

  Another tear ran down his face, and his shoulders sank. “My wife.” I smothered a gasp, and Rabryn took a firm hold of my hand. Norka’s voice was a struggling whisper. “She was the Duchesss Queen; Queen Sauryavia’s right hand maiden and advisor, Hethana. She was murdered, and I wass framed for it.”

  “How? How were you framed?” I managed to whisper.

  He cleared his throat and regained a bit of his composure. “In our bedroom—where ssshe was found dead— papersss, disguised in my hand by magic, were found. They ssspoke of plots, and deviousss actions, to use my magic to overthrow the Queen and her council, making me ruler of Fayithjen.

  “A diary, also disguisssed in my handwriting, was found. It ssspoke in the last passage about how Hethana had found out my plotsss and tried to ssstop me and threatened to tell the Queen, sso had to kill her.” His voice dropped to a whisper of pain. “I would never harm her. I loved her. Her and Ceco.”

  I was overwhelmed and very afraid to ask my next question. “Ceco?”

  He rested his head against his drawn-up knees. “My daughter.”

  I realized I was gripping the hilt of my sword hard, and my other hand was squeezing Rabryn’s fingers almost hard enough to break them. I wanted to kill something, anything! I wanted whoever did this to pay! As I thought about declaring war against Fayithjen, that familiar light loomed up from wherever it hid and shone on my soul, reminding me of the White Warrior. I pushed the thought away.

  “Was Ceco,” I struggled with my heavy breathing, “was she…” I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word “murdered.”

  Norka shook his head slightly. “I don’t know. I never sssaw my daughter after my wife was found. I was thrown in the dungeonsss before I could, and I awaited my trial. I have reassson to believe that my daughter essscaped her mother’s killer though.” He slipped a finger in the top of his black robes. “Ccceco inherited the curse of magic from me. When I awoke one night in the dungeons, I found thisss around my neck.”

  He pulled out a necklace from his robes. It was made of no precious jewel, but was no doubt priceless. It was a child's craft of beads, woven through a leather thong to make a certain shape. The red beads of this craft formed a heart. I suddenly wanted to scream in agony for this poor being. His baby girl must have made it for him!

  “She gave thisss to me, two weeksss before her mother was killed.” He smiled wistfully in remembrance. “It took her a month to make. She tried sssso hard to keep it ssssecret, but I caught a glance of her working on it from time to time. She concentrated ssso hard, and had to redo it many times until she believed it wasss perfect. I never took it off once she surprised me with it.” His smiled faded. “When the guardsss came to take me in, they stripped me of everything— my jewelsss, my clothesss, and my Ccceco’s gift.”

  After a long, quiet moment, he went on. “I guess sssomehow she used the curssse of magic I gave her to give me the most precious thing I had left in the world.” He fingered the necklace tenderly. “It ssssomehow appeared around my neck, though I wasss behind barss and heavily guarded. Another strange thing was that no one sssaw it after I’d gotten it back, though I wasn’t allowed to wear clothes.” He tucked the necklace back into his robes. “I never taught her how to use the magic ssshe had, ssshe was too young. But somehow ssshe figured it out and returned the gift to me.”

  I closed my eyes, not wanting to know the answer to this question, either. What if she had been murdered sometime since Hethana died? I had to ask, though. “How old was Ceco?

  The yellow eyes glanced up at me. “Three.”

  I brought my fist to my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut as I fought against the bile that rose in my throat. I even heard Rabryn muffling sobs next to me. This creature had lost everything! His entire world was gone! No wonder he had that bottomless pit of sadness in his eyes. All he wanted to do was die. Who could blame him?

  “Norka, I am so sorry,” I whispered, unable to raise my voice any higher, my emotions choking me. When I opened my eyes, he was gazing down at my hand tenderly resting on top of his. I hadn’t even realized I’d put it there. He gently took my hand and caressed it, as if savoring the feel of me for the last time.

  “Thank you,” he choked out. “Thank you for lissstening to me. You may kill me now.”

  Both Rabryn and I snapped to attention. “What?!” we said in unison.

  “You may kill me now,” he repeated in a low voice.

  My brows dropped and I looked at him with absurdity. “I’m not going to kill you!”

  His wide eyes snapped up to meet mine. “What? Why not?” he asked, the words sounding more like a plea for me to reconsider than an actual question.

  Because you don’t deserve it! Because you’ve suffered enough! Because you deserve a chance at happiness like everyone else! Because I couldn’t kill you even if I wanted to now!

  I wanted to scream all these out at him but held my tongue. Death was what he wanted. Making excuses to live and encouraging him to live would only provoke an argument, and it could depress him even more, if that were at all possible. Perhaps he would resent me if I didn’t kill him now.

  I stood up and firmly placed my hands on my hips, holding my jaw tight as I looked down at him. “Because you have yet to make yourself useful to me. Laroevith sent you to help me, so help me you shall. And you won’t see the end of my blade, nor the end of your life or your misery, until you earn it from me. Or until it is granted to you on your quest to help me as your Mistress predicted. That seems fair enough, doesn’t it?”

  Norka looked down and nodded slowly.

  My heart sank, but I held my authoritative ground. “Rabryn.” He looked up at me from the ground, his eyes red rimmed and teary from Norka’s heartbreaking story. Though I wanted to appear unaffected, I couldn’t hide my emotions when my brother cried. I sunk to my knees and embraced him briefly. I gave him a reassuring squeeze before I pulled away and gently rubbed his shoulder. I lowered my tone in a more sisterly way. “I want you to take Norka into the woods. Teach him to use a bow as I’ve taught you, and kill him some food.”

  Rabryn’s nervous eyes flicked to Norka before he nodded.

  I pulled my quiver and bow off my back and held them out to Norka. “You can use mine.”

  He hesitated before gingerly accepting them. He was awkward and careful with the weapon, as if he feared he might break it—or more so that it might suddenly come to life and break him.

  I turned toward Rabryn, took his chin firmly in my grasp, and brought my face close to his in a threatening manner. “Don’t you dare go far into these woods,” I warned. “I had better be able to smell you nearby. Do you understand me?”

  An odd expression passed over his face and for an instant he looked like he was going to argue, but the expression vanished as quickly as it had come, and he only nodded. I let him go and watched as they disappeared into the dark woods.

  I hoped he would be okay. I wondered if I was wrong to trust Norka. Maybe his story was all a lie. No, I was good at reading eyes, and his were no exception; he was being truthful. It still irked me how he had found us. Oh, well. He’d revealed enough for one night and gained a lot of my trust. I’d ask him that another time.

  I looked behind me at the black woods. I sighed and dreaded what was about to face. I stood and protectively crossed my arms over my chest, grimacing at the thought. I suddenly wished I’d kept my bow.

  She was coming. I could feel her presence even before I heard her footsteps crunching dead leaves and snapping sticks. She paused behind me, no doubt assessing what kind of mood I was in. The long rock I sat on jutted up from the ground at the edge of a creek and was barely sheltered by a pine sapling, making this a calming environment. I kept my gaze on the bubbling water in front of me, refusing to look at her. Wat
er usually calmed my temper, a characteristic dating back to when I was growing up with Azrel. Our cave had been near water, so whenever training got rough, I’d go for a walk down to the stream, or Azrel’s father would send me on the walk to cool off.

  Tonight, I had simmered down a bit, but I was still afraid I would choose the wrong way to approach this matter. I was torn between strangling her for not telling me that the Blue Dragon was Norka’s Mistress—his jailer—and grabbing her face and kissing her all over because she was safe.

  Without a word of greeting, she stepped over the rock and sat down beside me. “It’s nice here,” she said. “I’m glad you came to water. That always cools your moods.”

  I shook my head slightly in disbelief and smiled. She knew me so well. However, I felt like I didn’t know her so well anymore. I was getting to know her again, and as I did, I realized she was still the same in many ways, yet very different in others.

  I’d been meaning to get her alone and talk to her since the night I’d collapsed in the woods. Though it had been pitch black, she seemed to glow in my vision when I set sight on her. Overwhelmed with emotion at seeing her face, I had succumbed to the pain of the beating from the Legan`dirs and fallen forward. In the few precious days I’d spent with her since, I’d seen the Azrel I remembered, but also another Azrel I didn’t know at all.

  I had started looking for signs to explain this new Azrel’s existence, but came up with nothing. All I knew from talking to Rabryn was that she was relentlessly hated, feared, and shunned by the people of The Pitt. Perhaps this new Azrel was a result of that.

  The Azrel that I knew was strong, controlled, careful, and fearless. The Azrel I knew would have been barely annoyed by the hatred for her. There was something else going on, something deeper. I wished I knew what it was so I could help her. She was still very much the same beautiful, sharp-witted woman that I remembered. This other side was but an addition.