101 Nights of Great Sex
Page 13
Well, it became a nightly ritual, this Fuzzy Slipper Dance, and I can’t tell you how much I look forward to it. It’s gotten better over the years, too; she’s added some real dance moves. Then last year — this was so cool! — last year she found a big pink feather boa, like old-time strippers used. It’s kind of a cheap thing, and it’s been slowly falling apart. Every night when she dances with it, a few more tiny little pink feathers escape and float away.
And I just love it. It’s the anchor to my entire day. I might be catching up on the news, or bills, or watching TV, but I know that at some point every night, for just a minute or two, this beautiful naked woman is going to dance for me. And she knows that I am going to stop everything, watch appreciatively, and remind her how gorgeous she is.”
Oh-h-h, Marcia! You are an inspiration to us all. I just love that story because it drives home the importance of flirting, even after your relationship has long been established. Especially then. The happiest couples I know flirt regularly, and often. Their little flirting rituals can be funny or sexy or romantic or, like the Fuzzy Slipper Dance, all three at once. But they are not meant to be foreplay—they simply reinforce the relationship. Every time you flirt with your guy, you remind him that he is—and always will be—Number One.
As for me, I used to get dressed in the closet, and usually in a hurry, until one day it became clear how much Jeff loved to watch me do it. Now I make a show of it, just for him. I also have a special little butt-grabbing-wiggle-dance I do when I leave the bedroom—no, I will not demonstrate!—and it always makes him laugh and applaud. He makes me come back if I forget. Notice that these little routines don’t lead directly to sex. But they’re just as important as sex when it comes to building a sense of intimacy between lovers.
Your assignment this week is to create a new flirting ritual. Oh, and to have sex, too, of course. But keep the two separate. You want to show your guy that you can have wild sex, and also have intimate, romantic moments that are not foreplay. Every couple needs both. So this Saturday night, do your man. Then on Sunday... and Monday, Tuesday, etc... do your dance. Bonus points if you include a pink feather boa.
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NO. 87 YOUTHFUL DESIRES
INGREDIENTS
pastel or floral lingerie that feels more sweet than sexy
blanket and pillows
candles
music
note
beverage
AS WOMEN, IT FEELS LIKE we’re always trying to live up to an expectation of sexuality: Wear sexy lingerie. Know how to give a great blowjob. Take control of your desires. It’s become the mantra for women throughout the centuries.
Taking control of our sexuality can be a lot of fun, but sometimes it’s just nice to buck all the sexual expectations and be delightfully innocent. To be free of sexual experience and expectations. To get rid of the sex props and techniques and just be one hundred percent you. Expose that soft, innocent side of yourself. Think Anastasia Steele when she first met Christian Grey. That kind of innocence goes a long long way.
Give yourself at least half an hour to set up this sexy welcome home. So choose a day when you know he’ll be out of the house for a little while.
When he’s gone, set up a blanket and pillows in the living room. Turn off the lights, light candles around you, and put some sweet and innocently sexy music on your audio player. Old fashioned love songs, like Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers are just as tender as the newest romance songs like No Ones Gonna Love You, by Band of Horses.
Put on your demure lingerie and a pair of dainty heels. Tie your hair in pigtails (or up in a high ponytail) and put on just a bit of makeup—mascara and lip gloss will do. Wear just a hint of soft, floral perfume.
Outside the front door, leave a glass of his favorite wine or drink with a note telling him you’ve missed him. He’s going to be expecting something risque, but he’s going to be surprised at what he finds: you, lying on the blanket on your belly with your elbows bent, your chin resting on your hands and your feet up in the air.
Sweet? You bet. But sexy too. He’s going to want to protect you and do you at the same time. And you can just guess which desire is going to win...
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NO. 89 PEEK SHOW
INGREDIENTS
1 eye-catching bra
1 sheer white shirt
1 jacket
2 temporary nipple tattoos, or “tittytats”
2 nipple suckers (like Betty’s Bells, from www.a-womans-touch.com)
(optional: nipple clamps or nipple jewelry)
1 bottle of adult lubricant, like Wet or Astroglide
A FEW YEARS AGO, JEFF AND I took a vacation—excuse me, “went on holiday”—to London. Two days in, we found ourselves in a “pub” when Jeff turned to me with a perfectly straight face and asked, “What is up with all the cleavage in this town?” I burst out laughing, because I had been thinking the same thing.
They weren’t displayed in that barely-covered style you see in Miami or LA. What we saw was lots of décolletage—demure dresses and suits cut deep in front to show the delicious curve of the female breast. Big, small, and in-between, British lasses are happy to open an extra button to show their bits. I was impressed.
This week, you and your man are celebrating your breasts. To get the “t” party started, you’ll need a beautiful new bra and some, uh, accessories. What kind? Well, I’m going to use two words that sound much scarier than they really are: nipple clamps.
Ouch! you’re probably thinking. But all your fears will be dispelled once you see the latest in breast fashions. Temporary nipple tattoos. Jeweled appliqués. Chocolate pasties, with peanut butter adhesive. Yum. And yes, nipple clamps—padded, spring-loaded and adjustable. Consider purchasing Betty’s Bells—small cups made of clear plastic that fit over your nipples. Once you squeeze the air out, they stay attached through gentle vacuum pressure. More comfortable than metal clamps, they create an extraordinary visual effect guaranteed to mesmerize your guy: your nipples get drawn into the cups, causing them to extend, swell, and become quite sensitive.
Since choosing a sex toy is a highly personal decision, you should pick whatever appeals to you.
So, whenever you read “Betty’s Bells” here, imagine your own favorite breast toy.
Begin this “breast worship week” by putting the girls on display. Make sure your guy sees a lot of them peeking through revealing tops, lingerie, packed into brassieres, or set free. Remember: he adores them. Want to get his attention? Stand in front of the mirror one morning before he leaves for work, and tweak your nipples. “Wow, these seem extra sensitive today. Do they seem different to you, honey?” Your man will spend the rest of the day thinking: Extra Sensitive Nipples. Hah! He’ll be lucky if he gets any work done.
Go out to dinner Saturday and wear a jacket over your sheerest white blouse, extra unbuttoned. Under that—nothing but pretty temporary tats or stick-on jewels around your nipples. Just before going in, flash him, and smile. Will you flash him at the table? (Will the cute waiter catch a glimpse??) Promise your guy more than just peek-a-boo. Let him know he’s in for a special treat... if he minds his manners. When you get home and undressed, push him down on the bed, straddle his hips, and show him Betty’s Bells, the two cups connected by a light chain. Apply a few drops of lubricant to the edges of the cups; press them to your breasts and watch his eyes pop as your nipples start to swell and his jaw drop as you lift the lube high over your head and pour, rubbing it dramatically and excessively over your breasts. Dita Van Teese would be proud.
Hang your breasts over his face and tug the chain between them—ooh, wow, what a feeling!—and encourage him to do the same. For him, it’s an incredible visual feast, but for you it’s more—a combination of tickling and pulling with an intense sensation of suckling, focusing your m
ind and the whole universe onto your buzzing nipples.
Slowly scoot down his legs so that the chain drags across his body. Slide it around his erect penis. Press your breasts and nips against his shaft. If you dare, loop the chain under his testicles and lift, ever so gently, creating some erotic tension between your most tender parts and his. (Hey, now you’ve got him by the Bells!)
There’s a limit to how long you can wear your toys, and that’s different for each woman. When they come off, your man will be floored by their size—swollen, bigger than ever—and you’ll will be astonished by their sensitivity. That sensation is temporary, so make sure you take advantage... again and again. Like those cheeky Brits, now that you’ve rediscovered your affection for your magnificent and lovely breasts, you’ll be showing them off a little more too.
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NO. 92 BOY’S NIGHT IN
INGREDIENTS
2 hot adult DVDs
1 hot pizza
1 cold six-pack
1 lucky guy
FREE BONUS! e-tease him at 101nights.com/BoysNightIn
GUYS LIVE IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT world than we do. It’s a world where shoes are worn for comfort, not beauty. A place where remote controls are friendly, and tight jars surrender with ease. A world where magazines don’t smell like the cosmetics counter at Nordstrom’s.
Mars? Venus? Nah. More like Hooters. Welcome to Guy-World. This week your erotic encounter is going to take place there. You’re going to create a little slice of paradise for your man, gathering together all the primal ingredients of male life. That’s right, I’m talking about the basic elements, the very building blocks of what a guy truly appreciates:
Beer, pizza, and porn.
Whoa! Laura Corn, did you say porn?? Why yes, I did, and I said it with a wink and a smile. (Check below for some specific recommendations suitable for couples.)
First things first, you need to send him a text so he gets a hint of what you’ve got in store for him. Tell him, “Honey, instead of going out with the boys this Friday night, you’re going to have a Boy’s Night In with me. Don’t worry, all three of your favorite things will be there—and you know what they are...”
Even with this heads up, he’ll still be shocked when he sees the slice of heaven you’ve created for him. Cushions on the floor, pizza on the table, beer on ice. All phones have been confiscated. And you — well, you look sexy, but not in that Victoria’s Secret way. No, you’re wearing the Guy-World classic: a white t-shirt and cutoff jeans. (I’m not making that up. It’s the number-one response from more than a thousand interviews I’ve had with men. They love that look.) Make him comfortable. Feed him. It’s okay to let him watch some regular TV while you eat. Pizza, Pabst and ESPN... mmm, it’s Guy-World bliss!
Slowly turn up the heat. Kiss him after each bite. Climb on him for a nonstop make-out session during the commercials. When you get up for a bathroom break—flash him. Better yet, lift your shirt and press your breasts right into his face just for a few seconds before you leave the room.
Once that first show is over, unveil your special surprise: a couple of DVDs full of hot, serious, uncut sex. And as the onscreen action gets wilder, you get bolder. Let him see you roll your nipples through your shirt. Wriggle out of your shorts and play with yourself, legs wide apart, and don’t be shy about it—he’ll get as big a rush from watching your fingers as watching the screen. Sit sideways to him so that you can keep one bare foot in his lap, gently massaging his erection while he watches the movie.
The rest of your script writes itself. Just follow the action on the screen. Take him in your mouth. Sit on his lap. Stroke him with your hand. Tonight, you are the hottest thing in all of Guy-World: His own personal porn star, with an insatiable appetite and a full bottle of lubricant. And tonight, you’re going to discover the coolest thing about watching adult videos with your lover: As long as the scenes are hot, he’ll be able to go again, and again, and again.
And in Girl-World, that means you’ll be walking funny the next day.
LAURA’S FAVORITE SKIN FLICKS FOR COUPLES
(You can buy or rent any of these online at goodvibes.com or www.sugardvd.com.)
Life Love Lust and Cabaret Desire: Both films are directed by Award-winning indie director Erika Lust, one of Europe’s most innovative and important directors.
Matinee: Directed by US-born, Amsterdam-based filmmaker Jennifer Lyon Bell. It features real actors performing their first-ever explicit scene, not porn performers, and the result is smart, nuanced, and oh-so-sexy.
Exstasy: Most adult films can’t hold a candle to this masterpiece—the acting, complex storyline and sexual chemistry earn my highest ratings. Tyfanny Million hopes marriage will curb her promiscuous habits, but she ends up leading a double life in an underground sex club. Features a cast (mostly) free of surgical enhancement, plus a riveting female ejaculation scene.
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NO. 93 THE EROTIC EQUATION
INGREDIENTS
1 man’s dress shirt
1 good fight
SEX SHOULD BE ANYTHING BUT BORING. When passion starts to give way to routine, I always turn to the Erotic Equation, as described by best-selling author Jack Morin in his terrific book, The Erotic Mind.
“Sexual arousal, whether it involves romance or pure lust, is highest when there is a tension between the attraction pulling us toward the partner, and one or more barriers standing in the way. The formula for hot sex is:
Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement.
The obstacles necessary for high excitement may be external or internal, conscious or unconscious. They can arouse us whenever something makes it difficult to get together. Or the chemistry between something makes it difficult to get together. Or the chemistry between the partners can bring its own obstacles into the encounter. Overcoming barriers is a testament to the strength of the attraction.”
Men love challenges because they love to win. (Even when we let them! And isn’t that usually the way it goes?) So challenge your guy. Put up a resistance — and make sure he comes out on top... uh, so to speak.
One weekend afternoon start puttering around the house dressed only in a bra, panties, and one of his dress shirts. Believe me, he’ll think you look grrreat! There’s such a casual sexiness about a woman in a oversized shirt that just barely covers her backside.
You want him to start chasing you, and you’ll have to goad him into it. Snap a dishtowel at his butt. Or flick a spray of water in his face—whatever it takes to get his attention. Then issue your challenge: I bet you can’t catch me! And take off, with your laughing lover in hot pursuit. Run circles around the table; run upstairs, downstairs, outside and back in. If he catches you, wrestle your way to freedom and run again. Sure, it’s all in fun, but your squeals, your defiance, and all that sheer physical exertion will awaken one of his most primal instincts—the thrill of the chase.
When he finally has you cornered, tease him by saying, “I bet you can’t get my clothes off!” Fall to the floor and cross your legs, yelping and squirming. If the shirt’s big enough, he’ll just pull it over your head, but don’t make it easy. Wrap yourself up in a ball. Fight him! The harder he works to pin your arms, the more he will savor the triumph. Make him struggle to pry apart your knees, and the victory celebration will be... exquisitely intense. For both of you. Recall the Equation—the obstacles you’re creating are a powerful aphrodisiac.
Be sure to leave him with enough strength to finally take you — on the floor, the sofa, wherever you end up. Your battle, of course, becomes sweet surrender as you submit to his “conquest.” By now, who can remember which of you really started the chase?
The Erotic Equation. It’s not exactly higher math. In fact, it’s lower... much lower!
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br /> NO. 95 CAPTURED IN RAPTURE
INGREDIENTS
1 digital camera
1 chair
1 short skirt
1 button-down shirt
1 creative photographer
IF YOU’RE LIKE MOST COUPLES, you’ve got lots of photos of you and your man in various settings. Hanging out at home. Laughing around the Thanksgiving table. Relaxing on vacation. Maybe even kissing at your wedding. These photos remind you of your great experiences together—and the emotions that come with them.
But have you captured that other experience, that emotion, that moment of lust and desire that is most erotically essential to your relationship? That moment of lust and desire. It isn’t something we normally take photos of, but why not? What better way to keep the memories of your romantic days and nights alive than with pictures?
The photos in this lovers’ album won’t be shots of your butt and legs for him to drool over (although he’d definitely be into that, too). Instead, these pictures are going to truly capture the lustful emotions that he feels for you. You are going to do an incredibly audacious thing: you are going to take pictures of him looking at you while you undress slowly, one button at a time.
Set up is easy: just place a stool or chair in a room that has good light. There should be a place for him to sit or stand where he can see you well, and where there’s a plain wall or uncluttered background behind him. You’re going to wear a short skirt with no panties, and a button-down shirt. It’s best if you can use a point-and-shoot camera that you can hold with one hand, because your other hand is likely to be a bit busy!