Chasing Desire

by Joya Ryan

  And for whatever reason, the notion scared the hell out of her.

  …

  Huck wrapped a single finger around the long neck of his beer and took a drink.

  “Good day today,” Ryder said. He was sitting on the stool next to Huck at the bar of Penny’s BBQ. “The whole house is framed, and the electrician was in and out.”

  Huck nodded. Yeah, too bad he’d been thinking about a dark haired beauty all day. Usually he could focus on work, but all his mind would churn out was images of Autumn. He was trying to give her space. Hell, to give himself space. But all he wanted was to spend every second with her.

  Which scared the shit out of him. He was falling too hard, too fast. He knew it.

  Which was why he was in a pissy mood and sitting at the bar instead of stopping by his dad’s shop to see her.

  Space.

  She’d said she see him later. She was still around. He’d see her in time. No reason to go pestering the woman. Hell, he’d seen her eight hours ago.

  They’d had a moment this morning. Hell, they’d had more than one, but she’d actually opened up a little. There was a lot of pain behind the woman that was Autumn Lane. He couldn’t imagine the kind of upbringing she’d had. He thought about his own father, how much he trusted him. It would have been devastating to have him up and leave whenever. His dad was the one stable thing he’d had as a child. Aside from a few friends, his dad was the one stable thing he still had now.

  Then there was Autumn.

  The BBQ’s door dinged, and he glanced over his shoulder. Like she could read his damn mind, there she was in tight, ripped jeans and a shirt with oil stains. Her hair was swept up in a ponytail and a light sheen blanketed her skin and Huck wanted to taste it.

  She looked around. The place was pretty packed as usual around dinnertime. Though her shoulders were square and a look of confidence covered her face, he saw those stormy eyes falter.

  She was alone.

  And she was nervous.

  Huck wondered if she’d ever had a stable thing in her life. He’d at least had his father. Would he be faring any better than she if he had no one at all?

  Judging by the conversation this morning, and watching her lip twitch slightly with unease—something no one likely noticed—he’d guess not.

  Several sets of eyes landed on her as she made her way toward the bar. He was going to call out for her but instead he sat there, watching her move. And thankfully, she was moving toward him.

  “Hey, Autumn!” Penny said, scrambling behind the counter. “I’ve got your to go order coming right up.”

  “Thanks, Penny.”

  Huck turned in his stool to face Autumn. “Hey.”

  He wanted to scoff. He’d been wrapped around her for the better part of the entire night and all he had was “hey?”

  There was a flash of nervousness in her eyes, but it diminished quickly. The woman had the best poker face he’d ever seen.

  “Hi,” she said back, resting her forearms on the counter. So she was making a point to not face him fully. Yeah, something was definitely up.

  “Day going well?”

  That got her to face him. “It’s been interesting.” Before he could ask why, she told him, “I got a call from LA. The job is mine if I want it.”

  That annoying feeling that had taken up space in Huck’s chest over the past few days throbbed. Throbbed so hard he thought his heart stopped for a minute.

  “Oh.” He nodded…then nodded some more. She stared at him like he was some kind of freak, which he likely resembled since he was bobbing in his stool, not saying a damn thing. But what was he supposed to say? She was leaving. Fact. She now had a job waiting for her. Fact. They were always meant to end. Fact.

  That last fact redoubled that fucking throbbing to a point he was ready to reach into his chest and beat it out.

  “That’s cool,” he finally finished.

  She just frowned at him. “Yeah, guess it is.”

  There was a sharp edge to her voice that made him think he’d just said something wrong. But he hadn’t said much of anything, so surely that wasn’t the case.

  “Here you go,” Penny said, coming back and handing Autumn a container of food.

  “Thanks, see you around,” she said to Penny…or to Huck? He didn’t know. But “see you around,” sounded casual. Yet nothing in her demeanor or the look she was giving him was casual.

  She turned and walked out the door and Huck may have been a master of women, but he was treading uncharted territory with the sexy mechanic. Though he was pretty sure, she was pissed and it was his fault.

  …

  Autumn tossed a fry into her mouth then went back to working on the car. She shouldn’t be upset. She wasn’t. Okay, maybe she was a little miffed. Yeah, that sounded like a good word. Because if it was more than that, she’d be setting herself up for heartbreak, and that would be stupid.

  Was she seriously thinking about what it would be like to stay in Diamond?

  She could kick herself for entertaining such a ridiculous fantasy. She had a permanent job ready and waiting in LA.

  It didn’t matter what she wanted. This was reality, and she had to face the facts. Everything she’d experienced in Diamond was temporary, including Huck. His reaction was more than enough to remind her of that.

  He was “cool” with her going. Something she’d remember. Because while he may not like being left, he knew she wasn’t permanent and so she wasn’t a threat to him anyway. She wasn’t worthwhile enough to keep, so when she did end up leaving, he was already prepared. And so the game went on. It was how he kept himself safe. Even if she stayed in Diamond, she wouldn’t be able to stay with him.

  She huffed, tossed the wrench on the ground, and stared into the open hood of the car. This should be clearing her mind and not making her think of Huck and feel all…wanting.

  Wanting his hands on her. Wanting to be the woman that got to put her hands on him. In public.

  People didn’t randomly touch Autumn, but it looked like Huck was used to contact. Between slaps on his back from buddies and hugs from his friends, he looked like it happened to him all the time.

  What did that say about her? She didn’t spend enough time around people for her to give them a chance at sticking around, much less leave herself open to a simple physical gesture.

  Maybe that was why she liked Huck touching her so much. There was heat. Intimacy that went beyond a simple fling. He challenged her. Took her over. And she liked it.

  She heard the scuff of boots behind her, and she didn’t need to turn to know who it was.

  She’d pulled down the garage doors. The only other person besides Pete who could come through the back entrance would be Huck.

  Damn him for coming.

  She didn’t trust her words or her feelings at the moment, so she grabbed her wrench and went back to work on the car in front of her. Now was the time to get herself under control and stick to the facts. She liked Huck. He liked her. And that was it. The sooner she stopped fantasizing about anything more—anything permanent—the sooner she could stop feeling this ache, as though she’d already lost him.

  You can’t lose something you never had.

  “Ignoring me, honey?”

  She didn’t spare him a glance, just kept focused on the engine. “Just working. Can I help you with something?” Okay, maybe she stuck her ass out a little further when she said that. Something Huck must have picked up on since she heard a slight growl come from his throat.

  “Yeah, you can.”

  She recognized the tone of his voice. Heard his boots scuff closer. Felt his presence close in like she was prey caught in the lion’s sight. It was time to play. The battle of truth and wills had begun again.

  “Having a problem with your equipment?” she asked with no innocence in her voice. She was baiting him. They both knew it. Sure, they’d called a truce long enough to go back to bed a few times, but time was running out. They’d nursed aggressi
on toward each other, and now she wanted to unleash it.

  “I was hoping you could tell me.” He pressed his hard cock right up against her ass. “Being the professional and all. Does it seem like I’ve got an equipment problem?” He thrust a little into the groove of her ass, and she bit her lip to keep from moaning. But her damn core was already screaming for him to come closer.

  “Being the professional I am, I’d have to diagnose the problem accurately. Perhaps something happened to cause the equipment to…” She wiggled a little. “…alter.”

  “Maybe this one just needs to be taken out for a ride.”

  Her stupid body was heating by the second, all but begging for more from the man behind her.

  His hand came around to cup her sex and pull her back against him even further. He nipped her bottom lip, and she moaned. He had her trapped in such a primal way, and she wanted to give in, even though some boundaries at this stage would be wise.

  Because it was only going to get worse. If she didn’t back off now, put some kind of wall up around her heart and expectations, this heat Huck brought out in her would only get hotter. But try as she might, the walls didn’t seem to want to go up. Instead, they were crumbling.

  “You want another ride? I thought you were a one and done kind of man,” was all she managed to get out. She didn’t want to ask for reassurance. Didn’t want a commitment. Yet she wanted something.

  “Oh, I’m not done with you. I’m also selfish,” he said. “I do what I want, go where I want.” He bent her over, and she braced her hands on the front of the hood as he kicked her legs apart. “And I’m here.” He unfastened her jeans and yanked them and her panties down. “Because this…” He palmed her ass. “…is where I want to be right now.” She heard a clink of metal from his belt being undone, then the rip of cellophane. “You are who I want to be with. Do you understand?”

  “For right now you mean,” she breathed.

  He gripped her ass harder. “Yes.”

  Not later. Not again. But just right now. Which was what she knew. They were temporary. Why did she find herself hating his confirmation that this would never last? As though she hadn’t asked for the same thing. As though she had any right to want anything more.

  If this was it, the last time they’d be together, she’d take him for all he was worth. All of the pleasure, and all of the pain.

  “Okay,” she whispered and pushed against him, taking the head of his cock into her. “I want you right now, too.”

  “Then that’s what you’ll get.” With his hold tight around her, he surged inside.

  She moaned loud, and the car shook from her tight hold and Huck’s brutal thrust. god, she loved it. He filled her up. Took everything she was. Demanded it. How did he tap into her so well? Understand her? He didn’t rush over with pretty words and promises. He didn’t give her false hope. He just owned what he wanted. Admitted it. And let her accept or push away.

  “Who do I want, Autumn?” he rasped.

  “Me,” she whispered.

  He slapped her ass with his free hand and thrust hard again. “I couldn’t hear you.”

  “Me, you want me.” And saying those words out loud made her believe them. He really wanted her. Was here. Taking her in a way she needed. He read her emotions and played her body like he owned it.

  “Now I want you to tell me who you want.” He wound her hair around his fist and bucked inside her again, hard and deep, and it sent a blaze of pleasure through her veins like wildfire.

  “You. I want you,” she said.

  “How?”

  He thrust again. His fingers found her clit while he pulled her hair. The sting of her scalp added to the sensations in her entire body.

  “Like this,” she breathed. “Hard. Rough. Just like this.” There was one word she hadn’t said out loud, but now she had no choice to admit it. “Consuming. You take me over completely, and I love it, baby.”

  “Love,” he whispered, and the word sounded amazing. But he didn’t say anymore. He simply gave her everything. He fucked her faster, harder. Rubbed her clit as his thick cock disappeared inside to hit that deep spot and sent her hurtling over the edge of bliss. The hold he had on her was unmovable. The cool metal bumper of the classic car squeaked against her grip as she held on for dear life and lost herself to the intensity.

  “You’re going to make me come,” he said, fucking her harder. “Damn it, honey. So fucking good. Never like this.”

  She didn’t have time to ponder his words, because his whole body hardened, and she felt the twitch of his release, and the sensation was enough to send her over the edge with him.

  Breathing hard, he lifted her up but remained inside of her. With one hand covering her sex like he owned it, he unraveled the strands of her hair and cupped her face.

  She looked back at him and gave him a deep kiss. His brows furrowed, and for a moment, she thought he might be just as lost as she was. So she closed her eyes, reveling in the moment and everything he’d said. Obsessing over those three words.

  He wants me…

  And wondering what he would choose when it mattered.

  Chapter Twelve

  “What the hell is that?” Autumn said, staring at Huck like he held a snake in his hand.

  “It’s coffee.” He stood there on her stoop—Jenna’s stoop, rather—with two steaming cups of coffee in his hand and feeling like a jackass now. “Thought maybe this would be nice before going into the shop?” Yeah, he knew she worked later and started at noon. Last night had not only changed the way he’d look at classic cars from now on, but how he looked at life. She made him…happy.

  It was pathetic how much he wanted to see her. And he was coming up with any excuse to do so. Including caffeinating.

  “Ah, okay.” She opened the door, and he came in.

  He handed her a cup. “You act like no one has brought you coffee before.”

  She took a sip of the mocha and smiled. “Not like this.”

  “So you like it?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  He nodded and followed her through the house, back to the spare bedroom where she was staying.

  “I was just getting my boots on.” She sat on the bed and tugged one on.

  Huck took a moment to sear the room into his brain. This was where she slept. Where she dreamed. Hopefully of him.

  He glanced at the duffle bag on the floor. “Why don’t you put your stuff in the drawer or closet?”

  She glanced at where he was looking, and then at the empty dresser in the room. Huck happened to know it was empty but heavy as shit, because he’d helped Colt bring the damn thing in there.

  “Not staying long enough to unpack. Besides…” She glanced at him, then at the dresser, like a kid would look at a Christmas tree. With longing. “It’s not my dresser.”

  He took another sip of coffee. “Is all your stuff in storage? Jenna said you were maybe moving?”

  She pursed her lips, then said, “Yeah, I’m in a transitional state right now.”

  Huck frowned. She was a tough one, and it only reinforced the idea that even if he wanted her to stay, she had no intention of doing so. What he needed to know was how set she was on leaving.

  “So LA is for sure? It’s where you’re headed after Diamond?”

  “The offer is there and it’s my only offer.”

  She stood, taking another sip of coffee. Christ, she looked good. Tight jeans and black boots that matched her raven hair. The mocha on her lips made her smile again, and he wanted to give himself a damn reward. If sweet coffee was all it took to get a little smile from her, he’d keep her properly caffeinated for an eternity.

  But the word “eternity” didn’t fit with the bike-riding storm of a woman that seemed to blow any direction, at any time. No warning.

  And while that was the thing he liked most about her, it was also the most terrifying. Knowing she had no intention of sticking around let him know what to expect, but that didn’t make him any les
s afraid of seeing her leave.

  “I was going to head into the shop early. Work on the Dual Giah since I didn’t get quite as far on it last night as I was expecting.”

  He took a step toward her. “I’d say you got pretty far.”

  She looked at him from under her lashes. Was she thinking about last night? Replaying it in his mind like he’d been? God, he hoped so.

  “Last night was…”

  “Hot,” he finished for her. It wasn’t a question, he damn well knew it was. He just needed to hear her say it. Give him something to hold on to.

  “Yeah. It was hot.” She took a small step toward him, and he could smell the lilac of her hair, could see the glow of her skin. “This is sweet,” she said, slowly tilting her coffee cup to her delicious mouth.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  “No, I mean the gesture. It’s sweet.”

  “Don’t tell anyone.” He winked.

  “Never,” she whispered, and then kissed his lips. Slow. So damn slow he could faint. Then she pulled away. “I’ve got to get going.”

  She backed away, and Huck felt dizzy before he realized he’d forgotten to breathe.

  “Can I come by later? Visit your work?”

  “It’s your dad’s shop.”

  He nodded, feeling like a teenager asking a girl to winter formal, but part of him still couldn’t get past the “going” that she was doing. He wanted to know she’d be there. That she wasn’t going anywhere…for now at least.

  “It may be my dad’s shop, but I would be coming to see you.”

  She smiled. “I like it when you say hi to me…amongst other things.”

  He followed her out, stood by his truck, and watched her as she hopped on her bike and road toward town. His gut twisted as her form receded into the distance. She was impossible to hang on to. Like throwing rope around the wind.

  He just hoped that when it came time, he’d have the sense to let go.

  …

  “Been seeing your face around here more often, boy,” Huck’s dad said as he pulled him in for a hug. He slapped his dad’s back. The past week and a half had been mostly great, and yeah, he’d been coming around to catch a glimpse of Autumn and see his dad.