Straight to Heaven

by Michelle Scott

  “Mom?” Grace tugged on my shirt. “The bus is here.”

  Numbly, I looked at the clock on the stove and saw that, yes, it was nearly nine and time for arts and crafts camp. “Okay.” I kissed her cheek, and she was out the door in a flash, saying ‘goodbye’ over her shoulder. When had she gotten so independent, I wondered. Ever since becoming a succubus, I felt that life was moving on without me.

  I re-read Mr. Clerk’s note. He’d delivered it, and this was his handwriting, but something about the message wasn’t right. I was determined to find out what it was.

  I knocked on Mr. Clerk’s office door, and when no one answered, I went inside. His desk had been straightened, and everything put away. I glanced into the tiny alcove that served as his bedroom, but the only things in there were his neatly-made cot and ratty chest of drawers.

  “Mr. Clerk?” I called, but got no reply.

  Seeing that I was alone, I prowled the office, looking for clues. Several tightly-rolled charts leaned up against the wall, but none of them belonged to Craig. I tried the desk drawers, but they were all locked. As was the cabinet on the wall.

  Irritated, I sat on the desk chair. I couldn’t go home without knowing why I’d been taken off the assignment. Then I realized that I didn’t have to give up. If my demon could sniff out anyone with whom I’d made a connection, then she should be able to find Mr. Clerk.

  How about it? I asked her. Can you find him?

  She happily agreed, tugging at my mind like a puppy on a leash. Within moments, I was back out in the hallway and striding towards one of the anonymous doors. I turned the handle to see an outdoor café that sat on a wooden pier overlooking the ocean. The place was crowded with tourists wearing straw hats and drinking mimosas. Waitresses in white polo shirts and black shorts shuttled back and forth from the tables to the restaurant which had a faux-thatched roof.

  I wasn’t sure if this was the right place, but my demon urged me through the doorway.

  The sun was far brighter than I’d realized, making me wish I’d brought my sunglasses. The brackish air was so humid it could have been sipped through a straw. Impatient seagulls cried overhead and perched on the pilings. A few of the bolder ones scuttled on the ground for scraps.

  I weaved my way through the crowd of diners until I finally spotted Mr. Clerk sitting at a waterside table. Somehow, he’d found a white-on-white Hawaiian-print shirt that was just as ugly as the colorful variety. He wore a Panama hat and a pair of sunglasses. He smiled adoringly at the dark-haired man sitting across from him.

  William.

  I’d like to think that if Mr. Clerk had been out with someone else, I would have left him alone. After all, the guy deserved a little happiness. But brunch with William was hardly a date, and I had to find out why I was taken off my assignment.

  I marched up to the table and slammed the note down on the table. “What is this all about?”

  “Hello, Lilith,” William said blandly. “Having a rough day, are we?”

  I ignored him. “What do you mean that my assignment is over?” I asked Mr. Clerk. “I thought that I was supposed to convince Craig that God had given him cancer.”

  Mr. Clerk tugged at the collar of his shirt. “The note means exactly what it says. The job is done.”

  “Well, did I successfully tempt Craig?”

  He looked away. “No.” I glared at him until he added, “Helen decided to end the assignment. That’s all I know.”

  I didn’t buy that for a minute. “You mean that Miss Spry decided to give up? Just like that?”

  “I don’t pretend to understand the way her mind works,” he said defensively. “You know as well as I do that she has her own way of looking at things.”

  That was true. At the same time, however, I’d never known her to give up on something. Especially not something that she’d been so eager to get in the first place.

  “Stop badgering poor Patrick,” William said. He gave Mr. Clerk a fond smile. “You know that he has no control over Helen’s whims.”

  The worshipful look Mr. Clerk gave William made me realize that this was no ordinary brunch. At least, Mr. Clerk didn’t think it was. “What’s going on between the two of you?” I asked suspiciously.

  Mr. Clerk flushed. “Nothing.”

  “I thought Patrick could use some time away from the office, that’s all,” William said.

  Yeah, right. William was obviously looking to curry favor with Miss Spry’s assistant. Typical. I might not have minded so much, but watching Mr. Clerk look at William with such naked longing was too painful to bear. I needed to rescue him.

  I didn’t want to hurt Mr. Clerk, but sometimes the cold, hard truth is the best way to go. “You once told me that you can never trust an incubus, remember? If William took you out, it’s only because he wants something from you.”

  Mr. Clerk reddened.

  William looked up at me, shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight. “That’s a cold accusation, Lil.”

  “It’s true,” I argued. “You should see yourself! You’re full of so much glamour right now that you’re melting every heart within fifty miles.” I pointed to a nearby table of middle-aged women who were all staring at William from behind their menus. “See what I mean?” I glowered at him. “Turn that demon of yours down before you hurt someone.”

  “I don’t mind it,” Mr. Clerk said, giving William an adoring smile.

  “Can I speak to you a moment, William?” I said. “Alone?”

  William sighed theatrically, took the napkin from his lap, and followed me over to the hostess’s stand. “What do you think you’re doing?” I demanded. “Playing with Mr. Clerk’s heart is cruel.”

  “Lil, I’m a ladies’ man through and through. Patrick understands that.”

  “Are you sure? After all, you took him out to a nice restaurant…”

  “For brunch, Lilith. Not dinner.”

  “…and you use your demon’s allure on him…”

  “I use my allure on everyone,” he protested.

  “…and you let him think that there’s hope for the two of you.”

  William glanced at Mr. Clerk who was pretending not to watch us. “I only wanted to stay on Patrick’s good side,” he argued.

  “You are trying to get something from him, though, aren’t you?”

  “You always think the worst of me!” Now he was getting angry. “Why would you say such a thing?”

  “The sweet talk…the flattery…William, it’s the same strategy you’ve been using to get me to sleep with you!”

  He started to deny it, then stopped. Realization crept into his expression, and with it, shame. He hung his head. “You’re right. I’m a beast.”

  I should have known. Disgusted, I walked away. William could go to hell for all I cared. And if Mr. Clerk was stupid enough to believe whatever lies William was feeding him, he deserved whatever he got.

  Chapter Eleven

  I wanted to visit Miss Spry and find out why my assignment with Craig had been canceled, but before I reached her door, a tremble of unease rumbled through my mind. Something was wrong.

  The feeling was followed by a message that rang as shrilly as a klaxon onboard a sinking ship: HELP ME, AUNTIE LIL!!

  Immediately, I wheeled around and ran down the hallway. “Find Ari!” I begged my demon. She did, and within seconds, I was standing on the threshold of Tanya’s apartment.

  Ariel was in the kitchen, sprawled on the ground. She wasn’t moving, but she was screaming at the top of her lungs. Next to her was a toppled chair and a small plastic footstool. The cupboard door was open. She must have set the footstool on the chair in order to reach into the uppermost shelf of the cupboard, then lost her balance and tumbled to the ground.

  I was about to walk into the kitchen, but my demon yanked hard on her reins, stopping me. She was right. Even though Ariel was hurt, I couldn’t appear out of thin air. I had to pretend to be a normal person.

  The next closest passageway lay
half a block away from the apartment. I went through it, ran to the building and up the stairs, and then banged on the door as hard as I could. “Ariel? Ari! Open up. It’s Aunt Lilith.” I wondered where the hell Tanya was. Or, for that matter, Ari’s guardian angel.

  Thankfully, I heard the rasp of a lock being turned, and a moment later, I was looking at the tear-stained face of my niece.

  “Honey, are you okay?” I knelt down by her.

  She looked even paler than normal. “I fell and hurt my elbow.” She showed me a smear of blood on the backside of her arm.

  I sighed, relieved. “Well, that’s not too bad.” I made her sit on the sagging couch while I went into the bathroom to find a bandage which, of course, I couldn’t. There was, however, an old tube of antibiotic ointment which I brought back to the living room.

  I washed the scrape and dabbed on some ointment. “What on earth were you thinking when you tried to climb onto the footstool on top of the chair? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? You could have broken your neck!”

  Now that she’d calmed down, Ariel was looking at me carefully from under the fall of her black bangs. “How did you know what I was doing?”

  I’d been so happy that my niece was okay that I’d forgotten to pretend I was fully human. “I looked in the kitchen on my way to the bathroom,” I said.

  Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “How did you know where I lived anyway?”

  Damn, the girl was smart! “Your mom told me.” I tried to sound casual, but Ari wasn’t buying it. She had a state-of-the-art bullshit detector. In a moment, she would ask me what I was doing at the apartment in the first place.

  Before she could question me further, I turned tables on her. “What did you want out of that cupboard,” I asked.

  She looked away. “Nothing.”

  “I can reach whatever it is that you want.”

  “I said it was nothing!” She looked at her elbow. “I’m fine now, so you can go.”

  I wasn’t about to leave until I knew for sure that she was okay. Without a word, I got up and went into the kitchen to wash my hands. While I was there, I peeked in a few cupboards. There was cereal, a couple of cans of soup, bread, and a jar of peanut butter. At least Ari was being fed. My niece watched me from the doorway. “Where’s your mom?” I asked.

  “Out.”

  “Out where?”

  I tried to look in the fridge, but Ari stood in front of it, blocking me. “Just out. She’ll be back by four.”

  Yeah, right. I believed that like I believed muumuus would ever make a comeback. “You know, you can come home with me if you want,” I said. “Grace and I miss you.”

  “I don’t want to. I like it here.”

  Why did Ariel always pick fights with me, but then turn around and stick up for her no-good mother? Although it was childish, I wanted to yell, “Don’t you understand that I’m the better adult?!”

  But I didn’t.

  “Okay. It’s up to you.” I walked back to the door.

  To my surprise, Ari grabbed me from behind in a rough hug. “I’m glad you were here,” she said. She hung on tightly so that I couldn’t turn around and hug her back. “I want to come visit you, but my mom needs me right now. Okay?”

  “Of course, okay,” I said. I reached around and tried to pat her head. “Any time you want to come back, though, you let me know. I’ll be there in a second. I promise.”

  She pressed her face into my back and nodded. “I know.”

  It took me quite a while, but about a block from Tanya’s apartment building, I finally found what I was looking for: a wrinkle in the air that let me know I was facing a portal into Heaven.

  My demon screeched in outrage, but I ignored her and passed through. Immediately, I was back among the looming trees and the murky, underwater light of Heaven’s pathways. The place was completely empty. The little bird that had been singing last time had fallen silent.

  Ari’s guardian angel was hiding there somewhere; I just knew it. But since my demon’s navigation was no use in this strange place, I didn’t dare wander too far for fear of getting lost. Instead, I entered the first doorway I saw. Only, it wasn’t a doorway like the ones in Hell. This thing was more of a natural arch formed by two angled trees. As I passed through it, I left the forest and entered a pleasant, rustic living room with an enormous rag rug spread out in front of a large stone fireplace. A blue plaid couch faced the roaring fire. Sitting on a coffee table were several leather-bound books sandwiched between a pair of gaudy, gem-studded bookends. With the exception of the hideous bookends, the whole setup looked like a spread in an L.L. Bean catalog.

  Several angels in ski sweaters sat on the floor drinking hot cocoa, and when I entered, they stared up at me in amazement. I recognized one of them. He wasn’t a kid or even a teenager any more, but a grown man. Still, I knew he was the one supposedly guarding my niece.

  I pointed at him. “You! While you were here having fun, my niece almost broke her neck.”

  There was a collective gasp of horror. “What’s that thing doing here,” asked one of the women. “They aren’t allowed in here!”

  “Harmony was right about that demon,” said another female angel who had scooted to a far corner of the room. Her eyes were wide, and her lower lip trembled. “She can enter our kingdom at will!”

  Ari’s guardian and another angel, an older man with a ponytail and a pair of round, John Lennon-style glasses, were on their feet in an instant. Ari’s angel glared at me. “I have no idea how you can breach Heaven, but this is not your domain. Go back to Hell where you belong!”

  “Easy, Jed,” said the older one. His eyes blinked owlishly behind his round glasses. “Maybe she’s decided to cross over.” He offered me a wavering smile. “Are you here to stay, my dear? You’re welcome to join us if you want.”

  As if. I glared at Jed, furious. “I’m here because you weren’t doing your job. Ari fell off a chair and nearly broke her neck!” I was so angry that I was going more deeply into demon mode than I ever had before. My skull itched as it sprouted horns, and my toes molded together as my feet turned into hooves. Several angels shrieked in alarm.

  “Stay calm! Hell has no power here!” the man in the round glasses shouted.

  Ariel’s angel waved his arms at me. “Get out of here! You are not to enter this place again!”

  “Or what?”

  We locked eyes. He was every bit as angry as I was. “You don’t scare me,” I said. I took a step forward, making him back up one. “I want you guarding my niece.”

  Despite my outward change, my succubus was not doing well. She scrabbled in alarm, begging me to leave Heaven before she collapsed. Ignoring her, I said, “If anything bad happens to Ariel I will be back.” I growled at the angels, who shrieked once more. Then, to make my point perfectly clear, I grabbed Jed by the front of his sweater.

  “She’s violating our territory,” one of the angels shrieked. “There can be no bloodshed in Heaven! Get out, vermin!”

  All at once, my strength gave out, and I nearly dropped Jed. My succubus was in worse shape than I’d realized. Her struggles were growing weaker. If I didn’t get her out of Heaven’s rarefied atmosphere, she’d die, and I’d be stranded there forever. I let go of the angel and fled from the room.

  I returned to the forest. To my relief, the portal to Earth wavered nearby. As I strode towards it, I passed several more wanted posters that had been tacked to the trees. Among them were pictures of William, me, and the strange pair in the trench coats and fedoras.

  My temper blazed. Those angels had called me a vermin who had violated their space. Like I was a roach! Or a rat! Furious, I made a blind swipe at the nearest poster, ripping it from the tree it was tacked to. As I passed from Heaven to Earth, and then from Earth back into the familiar hallways of Hell, I balled the poster up in my hands, compressing it tighter and tighter. When I walked into my kitchen, I threw it in the trash.

  Violated! I’ll show them violated,
I thought. Then I pushed my hands through my hair, suddenly worried that my horns would still be showing when I went to the range with J.T.

  Two hours later, my horns had shrunk, and I was ready to meet up with J.T. I didn’t care what Mr. Clerk’s note said. I still considered myself on the job. Until Miss Spry told me in person that she’d canceled my assignment with Craig, I refused to give up. Come hell or high water, I was going finish this job and reclaim my sterling record for temptations. Not to mention free my daughter from her fate.

  I found J.T. inside the Dirty Duck, drinking a bottle of Rolling Rock, eating peanuts, and jawing with the bartender. His face lit up when he saw me. “Lilith! Right on time. Care for a beer?”

  I hesitantly took the seat next to his. “Maybe drinking before we go to the gun range isn’t a great idea.”

  He shrugged and finished his beer. “I just got off of work, and I’m parched.” He held up his hand for another.

  “What is this? Deer hunting season?” the bartender joked as he opened the bottle. “You keep this up, your date will think you’re a drunk.”

  Too late. His date already did.

  Wondering if Craig had discovered the painful lump Miss Spry was sending his way, I asked J.T. how his friend was doing. “Sounds like he’s been having some bad luck. What with his girlfriend and his job and all.”

  “He’s not too happy about that, no,” J.T. said, “but Sam Butcher’s been cheering him up.”

  Sam Butcher. The man that J.T. had met at the barbeque. I envisioned a wild-eyed prophet with a long, gray beard and a camouflage vest. Someone full of 9/11 conspiracy theories and a grudge against the U.S. government. Just his name was enough to raise gooseflesh along my arms. I wondered how a man like that could possibly cheer someone up.

  J.T. leaned back on his stool. “Craig is my best friend, but he can be a cement head sometimes. Good thing Sam’s been talking sense to him.”

  “Such as?”

  “Such as we’re on the verge of a global meltdown, and that little basement bunker of his isn’t enough to help him survive. He needs to think bigger. He’s got property further up north, and that’s where he should be planning to build his fortress. Doomsday is around the corner, you know.”