Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Shoots and Scores

by Bathroom Readers' Institute

  LASTING IMPACT

  A few years after she retired as an athlete, Hoffman was named director of Sport Canada, a government-backed agency that supervises amateur sports, including the allocation of government funding for Canada’s Olympic athletes. And in 1982 she helped organize Canada’s first women’s hockey championship, now known as the Abby Hoffman Cup.

  About her days as a hockey player in a boys’ league, she once said, “I was nothing except a girl who loved to play hockey and had done it with her brothers every chance there was from the time she got skates. When my ‘secret’ was revealed, my teammates just shrugged as if it didn’t matter. What difference did it make?” It may not have made a difference to her teammates, but to the millions of North American girls who heard or read about her story, it made a big difference. In 1998 women’s hockey officially became an Olympic event—and the U.S. and Canadian teams squared off for the gold medal. The U.S. won, 3–1, fueling a sports rivalry that continues to this day.

  RARE JEWEL AND KING

  How Conn Smythe parlayed a bet on a slow horse named Rare Jewel into the purchase of the great King Clancy.

  Norman “The Dude” Foden liked to brag that he had played a very important role in the construction of both the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team and Maple Leaf Gardens, the famous Toronto building that was the Leafs’ home. Foden was a jockey, a small man who rode at various Canadian racetracks from his teenage years until he was 55. In September 1930, he was the rider on Rare Jewel, owned by Conn Smythe, who also owned the Toronto Maple Leafs of the NHL and—in the middle of the Great Depression—was forming plans to build the Gardens.

  BET ON THE HORSE, NOT WITH THE JOCKEY

  Rare Jewel, a filly that had never won a race, became an integral part in one of hockey’s favorite tales. Smythe bet heavily on Rare Jewel against the advice of his jockey Foden and when the horse won at odds of 107-to-1, Smythe used the money he collected as a portion of the $35,000 he paid the Ottawa Senators for defenceman King Clancy, who became a big part of the Leafs in their drive for popularity and arena-building funds.

  GRAVEL, HORSES AND HOCKEY

  The yarn of how Smythe reached the point of the Clancy deal is a wonderful bit of folklore about a man’s angry reaction to what he felt was dreadful treatment by the New York Rangers. Born in Toronto, Smythe was captain of the University of Toronto hockey team, served in the Canadian Army in World War I, finished his degree, built a sand and gravel company, and started his thorough-bred racing stable. He coached the U of T hockey team and was an investor in the Toronto Marlboros, operated by Frank Selke, who rated among the game’s best executives in his more than 40 years in hockey. “Smythe was a master at watching young players and spotting the spirit and talent that would allow them to excel at the professional levels,” said Selke, himself a rare judge of talent who had frequent battles with Smythe. “He wasn’t good at considering the opinions of others.”

  10,000 BUCKS AND A LOT OF DRIVE

  When the NHL expanded into the United States in the mid-1920s with six American teams, Smythe was hired to build the first roster of the Rangers, headed by Colonel John Hammond. While the other new teams were buying established stars from the defunct Pacific Coast league, Smythe sought players from outside of the hockey mainstream, earning much skepticism from the large New York sporting press. At a total cost of $32,000, Smythe’s own scouting found defencemen Ching Johnson and Taffy Abel in Minnesota, the awesome forward line of Bill and Bun Cook with Frank Boucher in western Canada, and goalie Lorne Chabot in northern Ontario.

  When Smythe refused to buy top scorer Babe Dye from the Toronto St. Patricks—Smythe knew Dye was disliked by his teammates—the Manhattan media heaped such scorn on him that Hammond fired Smythe from the post, hiring Lester Patrick to run the franchise. A threat of legal action earned Smythe a $10,000 severance package from the Rangers and he returned to Toronto vowing revenge against the New York team.

  OFF TO THE RACES

  Smythe loved to tell the story of how he took $2,500 of his severance pay, doubled it on a college football bet, then did the same by betting $5,000 on “his” Rangers to beat the St. Pats. A Philadelphia group had bid $200,000 for the St. Patricks franchise but, armed with his $10,000 as down payment, Smythe tried to buy the Toronto team. The St. Pats majority owner, mining magnate Jack Bickell wanted a more substantial offer. Smythe’s persistent and patriotic pitch—keep the team in Canada—raised enough money for Bickell to be convinced to leave money in the team but only if Smythe ran the operation. The name was changed to the Maple Leafs, the colors to blue and white, and one of the great franchises in pro sports was off to the races, precisely where Smythe made the money for a key purchase.

  IRISHMAN FOR SALE

  Selke became Smythe’s assistant in most areas of the operation and they combined to build a strong team. Selke had recruited some exceptional young players for his Marlboro juniors—Red Horner, Busher Jackson, Charlie Conacher and Alex Levinski. Smythe handpicked Joe Primeau, Ace Bailey, Hap Day, plus goalie Chabot in a trade with the Rangers. But the Leafs owner knew his club needed a top defenceman, especially a player to add spirit and zip to the club, on and off the ice. Smythe knew that Clancy could be that player. The Ottawa Senators, where Clancy had been a star for nine seasons and twice a Stanley Cup champion, had severe financial problems and spread the word that their nifty little (5-foot-7, 145 pound) Irishman was for sale.

  AMAZING THE HORSE COULD RUN STRAIGHT

  When the Senators turned down Smythe’s offer of $25,000—all the Leafs directors would allow him to pay—the Leafs owner took another big chance. Smythe had paid $250 for Rare Jewel and when he entered the perennial loser in the Coronation Stakes, his trainer said it was a waste of money. Although Foden told Smythe that he felt the horse might have a “slim chance,” he also told his wife to bet on another horse. Smythe placed $50 across the board on Rare Jewel and when Smythe’s racetrack pals needled him about it, he bet another $30 on her to win. Years later, Smythe confessed to pouring a pint of brandy into the horse before the race as a stimulant. It worked because Foden rode a smart race, Rare Jewel won, and Smythe collected close to $11,000 on his bets.

  LITTLE MAN HUGE FAVORITE

  He added $10,000 of his earnings to the $25,000 the directors were willing to pay, threw in two players, Art Smith and Eric Pettinger, and Clancy became a Leaf. The rollicking defenceman became a huge favorite in Toronto and gave the Leafs seven big seasons plus several decades as an executive and coach after a stint as a referee. Rare Jewel, the horse that helped make a great franchise work, died a few weeks after her big win.

  WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO…?

  The transition to civilian life can be difficult for retired hockey stars.

  IF YOU CAN’T TAKE THE HEAT…

  The on-the-job parallels of teamwork, emotional intensity and physical toil—heck, even the wearing of uniforms—may contribute to drawing ex-NHLers into firefighting. Gary Bromley (G, Buffalo/Vancouver, 1973–1980) joined the Vancouver Fire Department after a year in the minors, while Jack Egers (RW, NY Rangers/St Louis/Washington, 1969–1976) became not just a captain in the Kitchener-Waterloo Fire Department but president of the Kitchener Professional Firefighters’ Association. The parallels multiply with the Barrett brothers, John (D, Detroit/Washington/Minnesota, 1980–1987) and Fred (D, Minnesota/Los Angeles, 1970–1984), who skated away from their respective blue lines to join fire departments in the neighbouring Ontario towns of Nepean and Gloucester.

  BACK IN THE PENALTY BOX

  Putting out fires more figuratively, Dennis O’Brien (D, Minnesota/Colorado/Cleveland/Boston, 1970–1980) was a corrections officer at Brookside Youth Centre in Port Hope, Ontario. And as principal of Tecumseh Public School in Mississauga, Dave Dryden (G, NY Rangers/Chicago/Buffalo/Edmonton, 1961–1979) must have sometimes felt like a youth-corrections officer himself.

  AN ENGINE DRIVER I WILL BE

  Believe it or not, there was once a time when the avera
ge hockey player’s salary wasn’t enough to support him during the offseason, forcing him to take a summer job. Once Bill Juzda (D, NY Rangers/Toronto, 1940–1952) left the NHL for good, he managed to parlay his seasonal work with the Canadian Pacific Railroad into a 37-year career as engineer on the Winnipeg-to-Brandon route. One of his opponents in the hard-fought semifinals of 1940, Frank Brimsek (G, Boston/Chicago, 1938–1950), continued to work for Juzda’s competition after leaving the rink, serving many years as engineer on the Duluth, Winnipeg and Pacific branch of the Canadian National Railway.

  TWO SKATES GOOD, FOUR HOOVES BETTER

  Gilles Villemure (G, NY Rangers/Chicago, 1963–1977) spent his first eight years off the ice competing on the New York harness-racing circuit, while Noel Picard (D, Montreal/St Louis/Atlanta, 1964–1973) trained teams of Clydesdale horses to promote the wares of Anheiser-Busch Breweries. One variation on the horse-trainer theme: Walt Tkaczuk (C, NY Rangers, 1967–1981) owner and manager of River Valley Golf & Country Club in St. Marys, Ontario, has captured media interest from as far away as Japan by pioneering the use of llamas as caddies.

  SOME SERIOUS ROAD TRIPS

  Speaking of the Orient, Cliff Koroll (RW, Chicago, 1969–1980) travels routinely to the Far East, South America and the Middle East—as Manager of Customer Service and Logistics for U.S.-based Cargill, Inc., he’s responsible for the supply of shortening and oil to hundreds of far-flung McDonald’s restaurants. Randy Manery (D, Detroit/Atlanta/Los Angeles, 1970–1980), on the other hand, racks up his own frequent-flyer points as he teaches leadership skills to third world Christian leaders at workshops in Maui and Singapore. Think that sounds exotic? The late Rick Martin (LW, Buffalo/Los Angeles, 1971–1982) oversaw the drilling of gold deposits in the Ivory Coast for the Eden Rock mining company, while Tim Ecclestone (RW, St Louis/Detroit/Toronto/Atlanta, 1967–1978) undertook the salvage of Spanish gold from galleons off the coast of Belize.

  THESE GUYS WORE THEIR HELMETS

  It may surprise some, though, to learn that the bulk of Ecclestone’s treasure-hunting involved hard research rather than going toe-totoe with smugglers and sharks. Hockey players, after all, are seldom known for their book-learning, though there are several other notable exceptions. Dave Shand (D, Atlanta/Toronto/Washington, 1976–1985) practices corporate law in Detroit, and while orchestrating international bank deals often uses the fluent German he picked up while winding down his playing career in Austria. And Randy Gregg (D, Edmonton/Vancouver, 1981–1992) completed a residency in orthopedic surgery between winning the Stanley Cup in 1987 and competing for Canada in the 1988 Olympics, and after hanging up his skates for good established a successful practice in Edmonton.

  THE POLITICAL GAME

  But the best-known player-scholar must be Ken Dryden (G, Montreal, 1970–1979), who was known as an academic even in the midst of his NHL career—he sat out the 1973–74 season to practice law—and after retiring wrote the non-fiction bestsellers The Game, Home Game, In School and The Moved and the Shaken. In 2004, Dryden threw his face mask into the political ring and was elected Member of Parliament for York Center, at which time he was also named to the federal cabinet as Minister of Social Development. Along with his degrees in History from Cornell and Law from McGill, he’s also been awarded honorary doctorates from the universities of Ottawa, Windsor, York, McMaster, St. Mary’s, Niagara and UBC—enough post-NHL highlights for five or six guys!

  MEEKER OF THE HOUSE

  But we should not let Dryden overshadow the handful of other ex-players who have enjoyed political careers. Edgar Laprade (C, NY Rangers, 1945–1955) served 20 years as alderman in Thunder Bay, Ontario, and Fred Saskamoose (C, Chicago, 1953–54) was Band Chief of Saskatchewan’s Sandy Lake Reserve from 1980 to 1987. Frank Mahovlich (LW, Toronto/Detroit/Montreal, 1956–1974) ran a Toronto travel agency before being named to the Canadian Senate by Prime Minister Jean Chrétien in 1998; at present Senator Mahovlich sits on the upper-house committee for Fisheries and Oceans as well as for Foreign Affairs. Mahovlich’s former setup man and fellow Hall of Famer Red Kelly (D, Detroit/Toronto, 1947–1967) represented York South as a federal Liberal from 1962 to 1965, while performing double duty as one of the game’s top defencemen. Well-known TV analyst Howie Meeker (RW, Toronto, 1946–54) also had a career in politics while still playing professionally: He was a Member of Parliament for Waterloo South from 1951 to 1953—seasons in which he totalled only 31 points in 79 games for the Leafs.

  DOUGHNUT ASK WHAT YOUR COUNTRY CAN DO FOR YOU

  Perhaps the NHLer with the best-known off-ice career, Tim Horton (D, Toronto/NY Rangers/Pittsburgh/Buffalo, 1949–1974) was also exploring other arenas while still an active player—tragically, both careers ended simultaneously as he was killed driving home to Toronto after a game in Buffalo. In the early 1960s Horton had opened a string of hamburger restaurants in Ontario, but when these had proven unsuccessful he opened his first Tim Hortons store in Hamilton in 1964, simply serving coffee and doughnuts, including his own creations the dutchie and apple fritter. Initial success led him to open one store after another, and following Horton’s death his business partner, retired policeman Ron Joyce, bought Horton’s widow’s share of the 40-outlet Tim Hortons chain for $1 million. Joyce has continued the expansion, and as of 2005 there are 260 outlets in the United States and 2,482 in Canada—1,364 in Ontario alone!

  TRADING COLOMBIAN GOLD FOR JUST PLAIN GOLD

  One last variation on the post-hockey career: Danièle Sauvageau, former coach of the Canadian women’s national team, is now a motivational speaker and TV commentator. But before Sauvageau went to the 2002 Olympics she worked undercover in the narcotics division of the Montreal Urban Police, busting violent drug dealers and leading her squad to extricate from deep cover any officers whose lives she deemed were in jeopardy. The coach claimed to not be the least bit nervous prior to the much-hyped Salt Lake City tournament, and we can only speculate whether her team could have captured gold with such composure had Sauvageau managed a golf course in her other life.

  HOW TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE

  A handful of NHL players who have opted for a good old-fashioned celebrity marriage.

  THIS YEAR’S MODEL

  New York Rangers all-star forward Ron Duguay met Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kim Alexis at a photo shoot in New York City, and they married in 1992. They were both modeling on that first day, incidentally, which should come as no surprise to anyone who fondly remembers Duguay’s magnificent head of hair and high-cheekboned good looks. In 2005, 16 years after his last NHL shift, Ron Duguay is firmly grounded in hockey, coaching the Jacksonville Barracudas to the championship of the Souther Professional Hockey League 2003–04. His wife has also distanced herself from her more superficial past, arguing against unrealistic diets, skimpy outfits and loose morals in her book A Model for a Better Future, as well as recording the exercise audio-tapes Victory Chant, All Things Are Possible, and I Walk by Faith.

  THE PRIDE OF GOODSOIL

  And in case you’d imagined that Alexis was unique in her role of model-turned-actress-turned-author-and-hockey wife, we turn our heads to look at Carol Alt. Appearing on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue in 1982, the next year she would—just like Kim Alexis would nine years later—marry a Rangers all-star who’d skated against the Canadiens in the 1979 finals. Ron Greschner, hailing from Goodsoil, Saskatchewan, and a down-to-earth guy if there ever was one, stands behind only Harry Howell, Rod Gilbert and Brian Leetch for most games played as a Ranger—982! The celebrity marriage proved too much for even his vaunted staying power, though, and in 1996 he and Alt parted ways; she was keen on furthering her acting career while he was ready to start a family. Greschner has since remarried, had “a few children,” and moved into the title insurance business in Florida.

  RUSSIAN TO THE ALTAR

  Alexei Yashin, then of the Ottawa Senators, was Carol Alt’s second-round selection for marriage. They were introduced at the 1999 NHL Awards, where Alt wa
s a presenter. He was 25 at the time, Alt 38. Alt said, “He’s so sweet. He’ll say, ‘Why do you wear your hair in your face like you’re hiding?’ He’ll put it in a ponytail and say, ‘Good, now I can see your beautiful face.’ When a guy says that to you, all of a sudden you don’t feel 40 anymore.”

  Similar gallantry, on or off the ice, might have kept Ottawa’s front office equally enamoured with Yashin, but in 2001 he was traded to the New York Islanders. The couple married a year later, and in 2004 Alt published Eating in the Raw: A Beginner’s Guide to Getting Slimmer, Feeling Healthier, and Looking Younger the Raw-Food Way. Despite her commitment to uncooked cuisine, Alt assured the Russian media that she would prepare pancakes and borscht for Yashin, while his mother defended her son and daughter-in-law’s age difference by pointing out that, with 65 films and counting, Alt can thank hard work for everything she’s gained in life.

  HOCKEY WAS HIS FIRST LOVE—MR. HOCKEY

  Rumors of runaway spending prior to the wedding of Wayne Gretzky and movie actress Janet Jones—predictions of a million-dollar ceremony were rampant—prompted Gretzky to retort to the media that Ms. Jones’s dress did not cost $40,000, as they had reported, but merely had 40,000 sequins. Even so, the big day just oozed glitz. Millions of TV viewers watched as the Edmonton Symphony played the happy couple up the aisle, the pews of St. Joseph’s Basilica filled with a who’s-who of the NHL, and the reception that followed didn’t lack for star power either. Those proceedings were overseen by Gretzky’s best man, goaltender Eddie Mio, who asked all of the Great One’s former girlfriends to please come forward and return their keys to his apartment. As the CBC reported, “People were laughing as Paul Coffey’s mom and the very pregnant wife of one of Gretzky’s teammates joined the procession.” When all but one of the keys had been returned, Mio pleaded for the last girlfriend to please make herself known, and at last Gordie Howe rose sheepishly to his feet.