War Torn Love

by Londo, Jay M.

  “You have to get naked!”

  “Hey look I’ll already naked!”

  “I know that’s right! Now you need to try to imagine several beastly creatures are after your naked body. We most get dressed as fast as you can, or they will surely get to you, and having their way with you. The only way to keep these creatures from getting to you is to get dressed. Do not let them get you! They’re all over the place, their looking at you. We must get dressed now, all right?” Come on, it’s time to get dress, please stop your dancing, so we can get you dressed, and play our game. I want you to help me out a little; can you do that?”

  “Sure, I can, we should see if the other girls want to play?”

  “No not right now. Ok let’s gather your clothes.”

  He began to try helping me into my clothes. “Sweetie, I’m not so use to dressing a girl; it’s all foreign to me, you help me out alright.”

  I began laughing, We put my panties on, then with lots of difficulty, fastened my bra - I let him figure it out, he positively had no idea how to put it on, he was all thumbs, he was getting mighty frustrated, then my slip, and then my dress. He grabbed my shoes, since I was in no condition to walk. Heck I could barely stand on my two feet.

  “I guess the games over, I win!” I picked my beer up off the floor while he was not taking a look, and finished it off, before Abram could even stop me. The room started spinning soon after. I hadn’t eaten for a while - I learned the hard way what would happen.

  By this point, I had succumbed to the effects of all the beer and, I also had a couple shots of vodka. Abram surprised me when unexpected; he effortlessly swept me up in his powerful arms. He truly was my gallant knight, coming - to my rescue once more.

  Slurring my words, “Oh Abram sweetie, I can hardly wait for our wedding night, you saw me naked, I’ll get to see you, and you don’t know how excited that makes me.” Remember my inhibitions were down. “You know I fantasize about you all the time, so be honest with me, did you like what you saw sweetie. I was afraid you would not. I saw the way you were looking at me. Please tell me, did I turn you on? Were you disappointed in what you saw?”

  “Yes of course I liked what I had the fortune of seeing. Are you kidding me, my gosh, if I’m speaking out of turn forgive me. You are incredibly sexy; in fact, you figure is even more stunning than I could have ever anticipated in my wildest dreams. I know God wouldn’t desire me speaking this way, but the only thing that stopped me from asking to make love to you is that we aren’t married yet.”

  He was acting all funny like as he said this, he couldn’t look me in the eyes when he said this. He was blessing!

  However, I was too darn drunk to think of pursuing the matter any further. We left the dance in shame - I was getting whistles at as we left. However, the other naked girl’s boyfriends were now out on the dance floor stopping them, as well. I guess Abram shamed them to come to their senses.

  We began making our way home. Just after leaving the schoolyard. “Oh Abram please let me down, please sweetie I really got to go pee!”

  He let me down - I was desperate to go, I couldn’t hold it in any longer, showing absolutely no measure of modesty whatsoever towards him, or taking into considering of the fact that I was peeing on the sidewalk on a busy downtown street. I pulled down my panties in front of him, squatted down just feet from him, and peed right there on the sidewalk. He glanced around, making sure no one was watching, oh I embarrassed him, turned scarlet again. There were people walking by as I was peeing, one guy whistled, I just continued my business, ignoring him.

  “Abram why are you looking at me like that, were going to be married soon, I’m sure you’ll get used to seeing me. Oh loosen up please Abram, don’t be such a prude, I’m almost done, I promise.”

  Soon as I was over and done with my business, I stood back up to fast, pulled my panties up as things were spinning around and around for me, a bizarre sensation came over me. I had never experienced before this night, and then I grew even dizzier.

  “Make it stop please Abram.” I started getting hot flashes, sweating profusely and what worse; I suddenly knew I was going to throw up. That feeling came over me, and I stuttered” Abram I think I’m going to throw up.”

  I dropped to my knees, right where I was, surrendering to the feeling, and began to throwing up, over the course of several minutes. Just when I thought, I was over and done with it, I started throwing up again, and again. I said the hangover prayer most people at some point say it basically goes by starting by begging to God for this to stop. I continued to throw up long past there was any contents left in my stomach - I was dry heaving. During all this time, I was so thankful, Abram was there to comfort me, he held my hair back for me and he gently rubbed my back,

  Finally, as my heaving slowed, he said, “You’re going to feel a lot better later.”

  I didn’t physically feel like going on any further - I needed to rest. So weak, Abram swept me up in his powerful arms. Then, he - gallantly carried me over to a nearby park bench across the street, so he could sit with me. I lay down and laid my head in his lap - as I lay there, I looked up at him for a moment, I guess just to make sure he was still there. He looked down at me. For a brief moment in all this hell I had created for myself, just seeing he was there, he stuck by me made me feel better. I closed my eyes’ but did not sleep. I just could not stand looking up and watching the world spin, as the stars and moon were dancing around the night sky. We held onto each other’s hand. He let me rest; he gently rubbed his hand through my hair. We stayed there about an hour. While still, I prayed for this horrible feeling to just go away. Neither of us saying much to one another.

  I finally sat up I was starting to sober up, my head was now absolutely throbbing. I was very sensitive to noise. More importantly, I found myself in completely uncharted waters. I was mortified, embarrassed as I began reflecting on my actions I could remember everything I had done. I was worried by what Abram was now thinking of me after this. And I knew that I let my father down.

  I knew I had to do something - I could not remain silent. Abram was not bringing it up. I then broke the stalemate of calm silence between us. I thought that perhaps Abram was now backed into a corner thanks to me. “Abram, Shall we start heading home now?”

  I did not know what else to say to him. That certainly was not what I had wanted to say.

  “No Hana, I’ll tell you what, let’s go get us some coffee, it just might help sober you up, look the restaurant down the road is still open, we’ll get some coffee take the liberty and use their bathroom to clean you up a bit. I am afraid to say you’re a mess. Well get you presentable before we think of heading home. We do not want your dad or Mom seeing you in this condition. Hey don’t look like that, I promise it’s all going to be fine - oh don’t cry sweetheart!”

  I could not help myself, in my vulnerable, intoxicated, weakened state, what else could I say but “Ok, sounds good?” I was worried, what he now thought of me after my little performance. I did not want him thinking I was ‘one of those kinds of girls’. This town has enough of those kinds of girls already.

  We walked in and headed off straight to the lavatory before sitting down. I locked the door behind us. I felt dreadfully awful, Abram thumbed through my purse, pulled out my hairbrush that he knew I always carried, he began gently starting brushing my long hair, and then he washed my face – making sure I had no caked on vomit. I straightened out my dress - since we had not put it on right in the first place, it was on backwards. We had been in a real hurry to get dress, and get the heck out of there. At least I looked more presentable, but I certainly did not feel so hot. We headed out from the bathroom, and grabbed a table - we had the waitress bring us each a nice strong cup of coffee, neither of us were coffee drinkers, but it was a tried and tested solution in these situation in these situations – according to everyone that we knew.

  As I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself, feeling lower than lower, stirring in the cream
and sugar into my coffee, I started to cry again I looked down as the coffee swirled around, and around. I was hoping that I could just make this all go away. I just could not take it any longer. Frightened I may lose my one true love over this. A ashamed of myself, I said “Abram I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I acted that way, I’ve never done anything like You know me – it - was so out of character for me. You know how zeni’ut (modest) I get at the watering hole and that is just you and me. I can only imagine what you are thinking about me about now. I am mortified by my actions. You must think I am a horrible person now. I would completely understand if you did not still want to marry me, I have shamed you. We could call the wedding off.”

  He smiled back, and gently reached out, and held onto me. He wiped the tears from my sad eyes with his finger, “No, sweetie, trust me I still want to marry you, you want to know what has been going through my mind, just how lucky I’m to be marrying such a fantastic, and might I add beautiful women, I got to say, you sure make my life interesting. My life will be nothing but boring, as long as I got you.”

  Trying to derail my own relationship, “How on earth could you be feeling that way about me - after what I just did? People are going to start talking, call me all kinds of names, if you do not marry me, you could put some distance away from all this. I have no choice, but you do.”

  He used his hand, lifted my head, so he could see my eyes. “So what let them talk, it’s not like I’m already used to it. I am a Jew remember. To be honest, as we have been sitting here, I have thinking about how I have fantasized about seeing your naked body for years now, every time we have gone swimming together. I have dreamed of what you were going to look like underneath your clothing. So many impure thoughts. Tonight I have to say my dream came true, I thought I would have been married first. Hana I got to say you really, truly are an attractive, gorgeous woman. Quite frankly if you must know, what I have been thinking, after I began to calm down about the whole thing, was, just how lucky I am to be marrying you, thanks to you, it’s just making the anticipation of our wedding night that much more exciting! Hana, - I do not care if you made a fool of yourself tonight.”

  “Wait I don’t mean to interrupt you, but do I understand you, you still want to marry me, wow! Thank you so much. You know I love you.” I gave him a hug. “I’m sorry for interrupting you, go on please.”

  “So what if people talk, you’re still you, I’m still me, we still breath the same air that we did before this all happened! The universe did not collapse in on itself. You have to remember that you are only human; we all do crazy things at some point in our lives, especially when we’re young, usually several times. We all make mistakes. The point is I was there to share it all with you, so I can go through the fall out with you. If I didn’t marry you because of this, then I really would be shallow person, wouldn’t I? Besides, will it matter in twenty years? Hana I am sure we will go though many tabulations through our married life together. But do me a favor for God sacks please?”

  “What’s that?”

  “I think maybe you should really hold off drinking for a while, what do you say? Because frankly, do not take this the wrong way. But sweetie you certainly have demonstrated that you cannot hold your liquor.”

  I began to laugh - he joined in, and he had always known how to make me feel better. “Trust me, when I say, after what I just did, and by the way I’m currently feeling, I don’t ever want to drink again!”

  “Well that would probably be best considering, it might be a good idea if we did not tell your parents about your little striptease! It would be for the best. Maybe not until you sober up, because I have a strong feeling they just might hear about it. It would be better if they had heard it coming from you, than a stranger don’t you think? Your parents don’t deserve to be blind-sided.”

  “You’re absolutely right! Thanks you, you know you are always there for me, in my corner aren’t you. Thank you for that! It really means a lot to me.”

  “What don’t make it sound like I’m the only one in our relationship who is there for the other? I’m not this perfect person you make me out to be, I have flaws as well. You know you do not have to always put me on such a high pedestal - I am human. I could not possibly live up to this. I can recall quite a few times over the years that you have been there for me. Hey, you remember the time when we were twelve, I ended up falling out of the oak tree, fetching my kite - I ended up breaking my left leg, and my right arm. Just two days after summer had began, that would have been the most awful summer ever, don’t you remember what you did, and you voluntarily spent that entire summer locked away in my hot bedroom, keeping me company, so I would not be so bored. With the exception of having to do your chores, and going home to eat your dinner, and sleep. You nursed me, you played games with me, read to me, oh and then the Pie`ce de resistance - who could forget your daily one woman shows you, would put on for me.

  “Oh, I almost managed to have forgotten about my shows - I would have hoped you would have too…they really weren’t very good. You would have done the same thing for me if I had been the one that fell. We’re my best friends after all, that’s the sort of things friends do for one another.”

  “That’s right, so why don’t you ask yourself, why would this be any different now?”

  It was starting to sink in - I understood what he was trying to say to me, he absolutely-right.

  “You’re right – we were best friend, and as your friend – still – Hana I hate to be the one to inform you, you really can’t sing.”

  “Hey!” I slugged him jokingly in his arm. “Abram?”

  “Yes”

  “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you! I love you so much - even in the worst you always find a way of making the world good once more, you always seem to see the good in thing.”

  “I love you too, that’s why I do what I do. I would do anything for you!” He bent down to kiss me, but just then as our two set of lips met up with one another, he quickly pulled away from me! I was surprised; he had never gone that before!

  “What, what’s wrong? Why didn’t you kiss me?”

  “Trust me I would have loved too, but I’m sorry to say, but your breath smells like vomit. I love you and all, but as long as you breathe reeks like that, I’m not touching your lips with a ten foot pole.”

  “Oh I’m sorry about that!” I was so embarrassed.

  “Hey don’t fret - I’ll take a rain check on that kiss, with interest.” He smiled as he said this.

  We left the restraunt and headed home, whatever the outcome turns out to be from this, we agree we would stick together.

  Once we arrived home, he made sure I was going to be ok - he walked me up to my front door, realizing I still wasn’t sober enough to walk up stairs all on my own safely, without falling, or at the very least waking up her parents. He quietly carried me inside, and all the way up to my bedroom, in his arms. Gently laying me down on my bed, he took my shoes off. And then, he quietly whispered, “goodnight my Queen.” Then he snuck out of my bedroom, tiptoed down the stairs, carefully past the squeaky stair, and finally out of the house before my parents caught wind of him. Poppa might have frowned on that

  As for me as quickly as my head hit the pillow I passed out.

  The morning after my ostentatious graduation, proved to be one of a substantial ear-piercing, gut twisting hangover - agony, and guilt and a whole lot of humiliation, I wasn’t sure how to dig myself out of this. I could hardly look to face my parents, shame must have been written all over my face with the knowledge of what I had done as I had approached them. The last thing in the world I would have wanted to do is let them both down - I was there perfect child, who had hardly ever gotten in trouble, now what are they going to think of me? I came in and sat down at the dining room table. I went ahead, searched for strength, and proceeded to share with my parents what had happened. I love my parents to much not to tell them, even if the outcome was going to prove disastrous. They rais
ed me better than that.

  They were both drinking their morning coffee, and dad was eating his breakfast, one hard-boiled egg, two pieced of buttered toast, and some fresh slice fruit. In the dining room, when I apprehensively approached them both. Momma was doing dishes. I was trying to figure out exactly what sort of mood they may be in. If Poppa was in an ill mood I would be in real trouble.

  I was greeted with Momma’s warm smile, “Well good morning sweetheart, oh you know you don’t look so good sweetheart, are you feel alright? Are you coming down with something? Did you have a late night?”

  “No, Momma, I’m not. I’m afraid I have a horrible hangover!”

  “Oh, sweetheart you were drinking? Well than you need to take some aspirin, and drink some water.”

  “Momma, how long will the effects of my hangover last?”

  “Well let me see, it really depends on how much you had drank.”

  “Oh, my Momma! Then if that’s the case, than I’m afraid that it might be a good while then.”

  Poppa’s attention from reading his daily newspaper suddenly was drawn to me - he put his fork clanging down on his plate.