War Torn Love

by Londo, Jay M.

  Screaming, excitedly out for me, “Hana dear, where are you?”

  I yelled down, “Up here Marym! Up here, oh I am so glad you are here!”

  As she came in through the bedroom door, she asked “Hey, so you ready to become a mommy? This is finally it little sister! I am so very happy for you sweetie!”

  “I do not know Marym, I am kind of scared about the whole thing, and is it suppose to hurt this much? Is everything ok?”

  “Oh my goodness, Yes sweetie, I am afraid so honey, so then had your contractions started?”

  “Oh my yes, I just experienced one!”

  “Hana had you called the doctor yet? Because we really need him here, or do I need to call him?”

  “Yes, just before I came up stairs I called, oh that reminds me Sis, my water broke all over the kitchen floor, I am sorry to ask, but could you clean it up? I would hate to had Poppa or Momma slip on it! You know how that floor gets. Oh you better check, I think I also left the stove on.”

  “Sure, not a problem little sister. Will you do me a favor though, will you stop worrying? Well look at you, my little sister is about to give birth to her first child, and your still concerned about others, yes I would had to say, you’re going to make a great mother, you are so wonderful with your nieces, they adore you.”

  “Oh Marym here comes another contraction, oh!!!”

  “Hana, why don’t you try taking a deep breath - breathe slowly in and out each time they appear.”

  “Hey why don’t you let me get you another pillow, prop your head up some more, so you could be more comfortable.”

  “Oh Marym, is anyone going to fetch my husband? I would not want him missing this!”

  “Oh sweetie, relax would you, his father is already on his way up to him now, and everyone else is on their way here! They had to close up the store. Soon your whole family will be by your side.”

  Just then, the doorbell rang. “Hana I will be right back, that must be the good Doctor, I will show him in.”

  She ran down stairs to greet our guest, “Hello Doctor Gorski! So good to see you again!”

  “Hello Marym, you look particularly well today! How are the kids doing?”

  “I am doctor! Oh, they’re both growing like weeds. I wish they could stay babies forever.”

  “It is amazing how they do that, so how is Hana doing Marym?”

  “Well her water broke about a half an hour ago, and she just had another contraction before you arrived here, I think that was her second or third one.”

  “And where is our mother to be?”

  “Oh Doctor Gorski she is up stairs in her bedroom. Do you remember where it is?”

  “Yes of course my girl, been there many times nursing the two of you girls back to health over the years. Too many times to count!”

  A little laugh, “Oh you’re right, I apologize, I should had remembered that, I guess I am just so excited and nervous for my sister! Say doctor could you go ahead and go up to her alone. I need to clean up a mess in the kitchen.”

  Just then, many of the family members all loudly came in through the front door. The air in the house was now filled with the excitement for the upcoming new baby!

  Momma said, “Well hello Doctor Gorski, good of you to come, and on such short notice, I am surprised that you beat us here.”

  Then my father being a good host, “Say doctor, before you go up come had a belt with me. It’s the vodka Abram made!”

  “Sure why not!”

  “Here you go doc, cheers!”

  “Wow that is smooth isn’t it?”

  “Yes it is! Now what do you say, we go get me a new grandchild, Doc when you are done delivering my daughter’s baby, I had some new cigars, and we could had a few more toasts.”

  “I will take you up on that!”

  Abram’s mother as well as my mother, and father followed the good doctor upstairs to my room. I could hear the stairs squeaking upon their arrival. They walked into me having yet another contraction, my second in many minutes.

  The doctor was smiling, carrying his black tattered doctor bag, “Well hello Hana, well it would appear the big day had arrived, funny I remember the day that I delivered you! Come to recall it was in this very room.”

  Unable to answer him, being locked in the throes of my contraction. “I screamed out! My mother dashed over and held onto my hand, to attempt in her own way to comfort me, when she saw what was going on. It was clear to me this time her lovely approach just was not going to work.

  Poppa then too came over, whispered in my ear, “I love you little bear, you hang in there, it will all be worth it. Next time I see you, just think my little bear will had had a cub of her own.” He kissed me on my cheek his eyes were moistening up as he did. He left the room without saying anything more.

  The doctor then grabbed my attention, “Hana its necessary from me to check you out, I had to determine how you’re developing. So what I would like you to do for me is bend your legs, and open up your legs as wide as you could for me, all right dear? I know this is uncomfortable for you. “I tried to oblige.”

  Then the doctor asked, “Oh could one of you lovely ladies go fetch us some towels? I would like you to place a couple of these towels underneath her, to protect the sheets, and mattress it could get messy. Meanwhile I am going to use your bathroom, and wash up scrub my hands before I go ahead and examine you dear, I will be right back, hang in there.”

  My mother-in-law asked me to lift my but up off the bed, so she could get the towels placed under me. She used one towel on top of the other. Then she modestly slipped my panties off. Now here is a little tip to any women thinking of having a baby. Modesty and childbirth is an oxymoron. I through this day would discover over the next several hours, at first, I was in fact embarrassed by how I was being forced to display my genitalia, but once those contractions piled on one another, I could care less who was seeing me, I just wanted to get that little beast out of me. So now, I had three separate people looking at me down there. Even the doctor seeing me, well he was doing more than just seeing me. Then that number grew when to my surprise, my aunt and my female cousin showed up as well to watch the birth - it was a good thing we had a close family. It seemed none of them had a problem with it, I guess it was just me. Of course, none of them was exposing themselves. I was quite embarrassed. I just really wanted to get this over with; I was quite scared terrified.

  The doctor began examining me, using his fingers he reached inside my vagina - only one other man had ever touched me there. “Hana I want you just to try and relax, take a deep breath, if you start getting worked up, then your baby will as well, we do not want to stress the baby. I had to stick my fingers inside to check to see how dilated you are, so just try to relax!” it was the most uncomfortable sensation ever – rivaling even the sharpest peak of a contraction. I felt another take me over as he stretched my cervix. “Well it appears you are about five centimeters dilated. We had a ways to go. You need to be fully dilated - which is ten centimeters - before I will had you start pushing. I do not want you pushing until then. I want you to just try to relax, and when your contractions come all over again, try focusing on your breathing. Oh and I do not want you drinking anything, you could keep your lips moistened if you need to. Well you heartbeat sounds good. I will check on you in a little while, I will tell you what Hana, we will get through this together.”

  That’s when my mother asked, “Oh by the way, Doctor Gorski you know I had some of your favorite, fresh baked Strawberry Paczki, I just made a batch just this morning - I could make a fresh kettle of coffee to go along with the Paczki, that is if you’re interested!”

  “Well that would be truly splendid; you know how much I love your Paczki’s Mrs. Wakstok – it is the best in town. Could you cut me a larger slice?”

  “My sister and mother-in-law stayed put in the room with me, to keep me company, I was thankful to have them both there.”

  “Marym where is my husband? Would not you t
hink he should be here by now? I do not want him missing his child’s birth.”

  She sat down on the bed beside me, looked down at me, and smiled. She then gently ran her hand through my hair, trying it loosely in a knot at my neck to keep it off my face. “You should not be worried; he will be here any moment I promise. And trust me when I say he will not miss it!”

  Just then, I was being overtaken by another contraction, I tried everything to get through it. I breathed through it, but I found it was best if I screamed.

  In the middle of it all, Abram excitedly came rushing in through the door. Seeing him calmed my nerves. He looked pale, he got down on one knee, so we could look eye-to-eye, “My wonderful darlings you ok Hana my love, how are you and the baby? Sweetie I am here now!”

  “Oh good you made it! Oh, I am so glad you are finally here! I was worried you would miss it!”

  “Oh I would had been here much sooner, but three of the calves got loose, after a broken tree branch brought down a small section of fence, on the back of the property. They were making an escape for the woods. I had to get them rounded up before I could come home. But hey! I am here now that is all that is important.”

  I gazed into his baby blue eyes they were all lit up. I could not help thinking how beautiful his eyes were. “Honey I guess it will not be long, and the two of us will finally be parents! Holding our baby together. So are you excited?”

  I reached out and brought him in close, and like that, we gently kissed one another, Marym could see that we wanted to give each other a little bit of loving, so she decided to let us had a couple of moments alone.

  He answered, “In answer to your question as silly as it was - of course I am - it’s all I could think about! I had been so distracted thinking about it.”

  We began kissing, that is just about the time when my warden Mother? Showed back up, and she came back in the room. “All right lover boy, there will be plenty of time for that later - you need to get going now. Abram, why don’t you go ahead and down stairs now? I am sure the men of the family will keep you company, go had a drink - I am sure they are by now, it will help relax you, you look like a wreck. This is a women’s place, Abram try to calm down, and she will be just fine. She is in very good hands, the doctor’s here. I do had to warn you, do not be alarmed, because this may take awhile; my husband will walk you through it.” Then she showed him off from the room.

  “I will be right downstairs sweetie! I will be thinking of you.” He said this just as the door was closed behind him.

  I yelled out to my beloved, “Ok Honey, I guess the next time we will be seeing one another we will be parents.”

  There was a majority of the time - during the difficult times of the labor - I grew angered, and quite vocal directed at Abram – it was quite out of character for me. I blamed him for doing all this to me. And oh boy did I scream that out, so he could hear it! Well everyone had to had heard it.”

  This utter uneasiness and discomfort went on for another twelve grueling hours. The contractions grew closer to one another, just minutes apart, and more intense than the earlier ones, before the doctor finally said to me, “Hana my girl I would say you’re finally dilated enough, that you – could start pushing, you think that you’re ready? Because this is finally it!”

  “Yes doctor, I am so tired, but I really want to get this over with once and for all! I just hope I had the strength to do so.”

  “Hana my dear, the good God will give you the strength to get through this; you had a strong spirit to you.”

  I held onto Marym hand for strength. Momma would wipe the sweat from my forehead with a small towel. With a wet washrag, she wet my lips with the smallest amount of water, since the doctor would not permit me to eat or drink.

  Doctor Gorski said, “Ok Hana I am going to need you to do as I say, now push as hard as you could through the entire contraction - do not push until the contraction starts.”

  I did as he asked, I screamed out as I pushed. At that particular moment, I was not so happy.” You bloody did this to me Abram, you just had to have kids, you hear me no more kids! I will not do this again!” Frustrated, trying my best to deal with the pain I latched onto and then squeezed my sister’s hand hard, - squeezing her poor hand like it was in a vice, all in an attempting to work through the immense amount of pain tearing through me. In-between the contractions, I was utterly exhausted, I would rest up. Close my eyes and just do my best to get through it, pray for the strength to get through all this. And then once again another one rolled in with even more intensity.

  Then the good doctor informed us, “Hana you’re doing a wonderful job, I am proud of you. The good news is! It should not be more than a half dozen more contractions, if you push this good through each one of them. Oh Hana, I could now see the crown of your baby’s head“

  Then another contraction showed up, “Now push as hard as you could for me Hana, that’s it dear, your baby’s head is nearly out now. Very good Hana, now just try relaxing.”

  I laid back. I was sweating I tried my best catching my breath. Then not long afterwards, yet another contraction quickly arrived. And we were arriving at the hardest segment of the delivery, trying to get the baby out of me once and for all. That was the shoulders, the widest section - doctor said once we were past the shoulders it got easier. I had no idea that I could expand this far. I later would think of it like trying to squeeze a watermelon out of my body.

  The doctor then said, “Hana your doing a wonderful job, but now I will require you to push even longer through it, and as hard as you can. And this will soon all be over with, and you should see your baby.”

  I was so worn-out, but I knew I did not had any other option, there was no way out of this, but to push as the doctor had asked, I sought to get this over with once and for all. I began pushing hard; I lifted my head up, towards my legs. I screamed out, surely everyone in the house could hear me.

  The doctor piped in, “Very good Hana, good news! We are now past the shoulders push one more time for me, and your baby should be completely free. Oh that is it, that’s it, oh yes, it’s free Hana.” Then the doctor did not say a thing. I grew worried. There was an eerie silence from the baby.

  I screamed out, “Is my baby Ok Doctor?”

  We were all looking at one another, waiting for the baby to make a noise. I felt so completely helpless. He held the baby upside down, and gave a gentle spanking on the baby’s buttocks, and then the baby began to cry out aloud, Doctor Gorski began laughing, “must had her mother’s lungs, wouldn’t you say. Oh my Hana you had yourself a very beautiful little girl”

  I began crying just hearing my precious babies cry’s for the very first time. Her little sounds were so precious. It was a strange feeling, “I had a girl!” I then thought how I brought a little life into this world.

  The doctor cut the babies umbilical cord and physically examined the babies, to make sure she was healthy. Then he handed my daughter over to my very excited Momma to clean her up, before ultimately handing her off to me. Meanwhile we still had more business of the birth to deal with, after pushing again then the placenta easily came out in a gush of blood. The pains settled into period like cramps. I lay back, resting my head back down on the pillow in exhaustion, glad that it was over with. Nevertheless, feeling surely blessed, that God saw fit to bring Abram and I a healthy baby girl. Marym said a prayer of joy and thanks.

  Once the doctor was done delivering my baby, he examined me future, then he said, “Hana this is common, because your daughter head was so big, and you so tiny, there’s a small tear I need to stitch you up. Do not worry it is a minor thing, Hana I am going to give you a shot to numb you up in the area. I had to give you a couple of stitches and then this will all finally be over with.”

  It hurt a little, but nothing like what I had just gone through, I do not mean to say that giving birth was all-bad, it was an amazing experience. Then when he was done, he looked up at me, he smiled and glanced over, “Say Hana dear you
had a very pretty baby, she appears to be healthy. I had to say it is a true delight for me, when I had the opportunity to deliver two different generations of babies.” As he was saying this to me, he was lifting his glasses up off the bridge of his nose, and then began wiping the tears from his own eyes with his handkerchief.

  My mother-in-law and Momma cleaned the baby and me all up, given us both a sponge bath. A tradition with our people. Then she put the sheet and blanket to cover me, so I could be presentable to the waiting party below. Then they handed me over my daughter, she was all bundled up in her little baby blanket Momma had knitted especially for her, for this very day. I rested her on my bare chest; her little eyes were shut, adjusting to her new world, I though how strange it must be for her. But she was moving her little head.” Oh look, she had a full head of brown hair.” I gently spoke to her. “Hello my girl I am your Momma,” it was clear she recognized my voice.