War Torn Love

by Londo, Jay M.

  While she had been asleep, the two of us had spent our time talking, it was then that we decided for now to try to keep her grandfather's death from her for as long as possible. This was going to be a drastic change for her as it was, she absolutely adored her grandfather. When we both heard her say, she was leaving her home, made me sick to my stomach, that in her mind that was anything close to home.

  After his daughter's question, Abram was silent a moment, trying his very best to suppress his own sadness gazing into his daughters sweet eyes, and then came up with the sort of answer that would make her happy. Rather my husband quickly put a positive spin on why it was he looking so sad.

  He looked down at her innocent face. She was too young to have sinned, so she deserved none of this. Rubbing her cheek, he said, “Sweet pea, see it’s like this, your Daddy’s not sad I was just sitting here thinking just how lucky I am, gazing down at you, I got to say I am just so happy to have such a beautiful daughter, and wife with whom I love so much, and who loves me back.”

  As he had been saying this to her, with his free hand he held lovely onto my hand.

  Happy with his reply, my daughter's smiled brightly back with her big huge bright smile, that could light up a room, when she did, she exposing the recent gap from a tooth she had lost a couple days earlier. She was so proud of that, it was her first tooth to lose. She liked sticking her tongue through the narrow gap; it reminded me of two little kids.

  “Daddy will you tell me one of your funny stories?”

  I looked over at him – and smiled, knowing that this dear sweet big-hearted little girl had just managed so quickly to un-thaw her Daddy’s aching heart that had been injured with his catastrophic loss. She distracted him, and refocused him, something I could not do myself, being able to forget his loss with the love of his little girl. Of course I should not be so jealous, my father and I had the very same sort of relationship.

  On that day, he shared a story with his little girl that was his favorite when he was small - his father would tell him when he was her age. I think by telling her the very story, narrating in the same manner as his father would have with him, he kept his father alive. He became our storyteller He had to go off of memory, though, now that he realized the importance of tradition.

  I on the other hand, I begun experiencing a rather magnificent flashback - a particular very dear memory all the way back to the first time I had met both my husband and his parents, the day they moved next door to us. From the very first moment, I met my father-in-law; he had revealed me nothing but absolute kindheartedness, never so much as raising his voice to me. Over the years, I began growing to think of him as more than an in-law, but rather more as a second father. There was a secret his father had shared with me once. It was on our wedding day - it was when he and I had a dance. What he had said was so sweet, I shall never forget it.

  He said, “On the first time upon seeing you and my son look at one another, that very day we moved in next to you, you remember?”

  “Sure!” I said

  “Well I observed the two of you; you were good together. Even as young as you two were. I just knew then and there that moment in time that you two would end up getting married one day. You two were predestined to be together and did not even know it. God works in mysterious ways! When you were around each other, I have to say both of your eyes would light up. You both became so alive when you were together. That first night my son could not stop talking about you. Truth be told, do not tell him I said this, but he never has stopped talking about you, he has so much love for you. So, I say Hana my dear, if my son has this much love for you, and God has united you both, then please do me the honor today of considering me your other father. I from this day forward I shall think of you as my daughter. I too shall love you until my very last breath” it was the very last part of that memory that hit me like a ton of bricks. His loss hurt so deeply. He was an easy man to talk to. Many times, I had turned to him.

  After he said this, I politely smiled, kissed him on his cheek, and drew in close, wrapped my arms around him, placed my head on his shoulder, “Thank you, you’re absolutely right, I think I fell in love with your son then and there, and I did not even like boys as of yet! And by the way, I started thinking of you as a father a long time ago.”

  It was the only time I saw him cry. He gave me a big hug, smiled, “Thanks for making an old man happy! I had always hoped to have a daughter!”

  And my own Poppa had fast become the best of friends with my father-in-law. That is why Poppa was glad to have both his daughters join into his friend’s family, permanently uniting our two families. He truly was the type of man that would give you the shirt off his back, if you had needed it, the same qualities my father believed in.

  Then just when I was about to break out in tears. I glanced over and saw my poor mother-in-law; Marym had been sitting with her. But I knew I should have gone to her sooner - guilt got the best of me, I had been so focused on Abram, and how he was hurting, I had not stopped to think of her. I realized she had just lost her husband, not just lost, but had to firsthand witnessed his murder. I excused myself, pulling myself away from Abram who by The Nazis had arrived at a point that they no longer were seeing us as humans.

  Now was deep into his story with his daughter, and I could not spoil their fun. I used the time wisely, and I went to her. Neither of us had to say a word to one another. What could possibly be said? Rather I just rested her head on my shoulder, and held onto her. We both had a good cried - I told her that I loved her, that she was not going to have to go through with this all alone, and that as a family, we would be there for her. We all were trying to take turns spending time alone with her - she should not be alone at a time like this. I could not even imagine losing the love of my life. It certainly got me thinking. When Abram was done with telling his story, he went to his mother side. I let they be alone, and went back to my daughter.

  By that afternoon, hungry, the constant stench of maybe between seventy, to hundred people being trapped in a very confining location for two whole days, was slowly building, but going into the whole thing this time, I did not want to disembark from this train, this go around. I knew what might be coming down the line. Last time I had no idea.

  The food that we had brought aboard with us, we tried our best to share with as much people as possible with others aboard who had nothing, others aboard did the very same. It is funny how we all can show goodwill to one another, when we ourselves our being treated so poorly. We decided as a group, that the children were all fed before the adults, and then what was left was to be divvied out, which was not much, but at least we all had something.

  But then the train engines whistle began blowing. The screech of the metal on metal as the trains began braking. The boxcar that just moments before the whistle going off was loud with chatter, my stomach suddenly twisting in knots the car fell completely silent, you could have heard a pin drop - we were all suddenly afraid what this had now meant. I held tightly onto Abelia. There was one thing that we all knew to be true. At this particular juncture, which was over the last three years, the Nazis had been growing steadily and crueler, at least in their handling of Jews. They had manage to cross a threshold that I think there was no turning back from - evil now coursed through their veins as easily as blood, and evil that was growing so strong. Only God could save these poor people now

  Chapter Twenty

  “Auschwitz”

  The train came to a standstill, a sick feeling nervously swept over me of things to come. I reached out and held onto Abram’s powerful lovingly hand. I was feeling so uneasy at that moment; he leaned in and kissed me. Typically, Abram was able to shield me, or make me feel better, but not this time, but it was comforting to know that I had him.

  “Thank you, I love you Abram!”

  He looked deep into my eyes, searching for memories he could hold onto. “I loved you since the very first day we met, and I always will!”

  I was tak
en aback by his immense demonstration of love towards me that was how I knew this was going to be serious. Everyone turned to face the door, fearing what was beyond the doors. Then we could hear someone fiddling with the lock. The door slid wide open. And the sunlight quickly poured in.

  Waiting on the other side, there were several soldiers, pointing their guns directly at us for no reason - it was not as if any of us were armed!

  “Get out, all of you. Get down out of there, and go line up over with the others. Hurry it along now, hurry!” The soldier was screaming at us. By now, we’d learned enough German to at least understand their basic commands – some of us could even converse with the guards – like Abram, who understood far more than I think any of them even realized.

  We did as we were told to do, we all stood up, and began unloading as promptly as we could; We were all bunched up near the open door, unable to unload, waiting our turn to get out. We all remembered what would happen if we did not. Abram let go of my hand, “Honey I am going to go aid the others getting down, some may need my assistance. We all know what could come to pass; I do not want any harm visited on any of us!”

  He was such a good person; he had always been like this, loved to help others. He got ahead of me and unloaded people jumping down and then without being asked to, he then began lifting down the women, and children, and old down - setting them on the ground below. He was such a dear.

  I got over to the edge, and in one clean sweep, Abram had graciously lifted me, and our daughter who was in my arms, down, as he did, he whispered in my ear, “I love you sweetie, remember what we had talked about earlier, you gave me your word. You must never put it out of your mind not in this place, it will get to you, and it will break you. Do not let this happen!”

  Just then, the soldier screamed out, blaring at us! “Hurry it along now, go get in line, all of you.”

  We hurried over to the waiting line. An older woman tripped on a small rock - concealed in the mud-spurned snow. The soldier, with a wide smile on his face came over to the woman, not offering her up a hand. She appeared to be about to get up, her suitcase had busted wide open, as the clasp had smashed on her as she had fallen. Her stuff flew out all over the muddy ground. She had just started picking her clothing back up. When the soldier broke out his pistol, from his holster, he shot her in the back of the head. She abruptly dropped face first into the mud. He stepped right on top of her just dead body, jamming her even further into the mud. Not letting up the pressure his foot was being placed on her, as he was speaking. “For God sakes, will you all hurry it on up? I will shoot the next one that I see dilly dallying!” He was acting as though nothing had happened.

  I was shaking uncontrollably and we did exactly as he had instructed us to do. A long lined formed up. The family was once again all together, thankfully. We all held hands, I most wanted to hug Abram, but at most I could pull off at this juncture was holding his hand. Abeila was between the two of us. There was an odd, unfamiliar, sickening smell that lingered in the air around here, encompassing the whole place and the snow was a gray color. Probably do to the huge smoke stacks off in the distance and black smoke billowing up out of them. I wondered what they were burning; coal certainly did not produce such smoke.

  I glanced around and could not help but become aware of the Jewish prisoners that were already here - we were now going to be just like them weren’t we? They were all very thin, all wearing the identical white and black stripped looking pajamas, and a simple cap on their heads. They all had shaved heads. They looked like the walking dead, skin and bones, and so sickly, - their skin was pale in they appeared to be floundering, and losing their way. Abram’s warning came back to me, and I felt like I was being crushed. Like everything was rushing in and meeting me at this point. It seemed like this moment was in my dreams of the past.

  There were guards posted about every thirty-foot. We all just stood there shocked by what we were all now seeing. There was so many of us getting off the train, those last two stops, we had manage to gain another ten boxcars full of other Jews in the same situation my family and I now found ourselves in.

  The lower ranking officers, and non-officers had been standing around, waiting until finally the higher-ranking Nazi officer had showed up - they saluted one another. It was about time, we were all freezing, and it was barely above freezing, harsh treatment to have to be standing out here.

  As he proceeded to walk by me, that’s when I suddenly had a horrible feeling coming over me as I was sickened to realized that I actually recognized him from my distant past - my old life, men like him robbed everything from me. He had an unforgettable face – he was the Nazi office that I sat by at Abram’s big fight, when Abram was fighting back in Warsaw, before the war; he appeared to be a real boxing fan. I remembered his cold, dark eyes, and again, they swept over me. What would had the likelihood that he would have been stationed here of all places. He attentively walked down the line of Jews. Slowly looking at each individual standing before him, he appeared to be studying each one of us with curiosity. The Nazi commander slowed when he got up to my own family - why did he slow when he got to us? He gave us a rather surprisingly fleeting look. Then he continued on his way without saying anything, I was not sure he actually had recognized Abram and I, appearing not to have noticed us. Why would he, we both look entirely different than we had on that amazing night? The war had taken a drastic toll on us as a family.

  Several minutes later, he once again had wandered close to us - he stopped about thirty feet away so I would say we would not be able to hear his private conversation. He momentarily called over a subordinate officer, and began having words with him, it looked rather serious. In the conversation, he had pointed directly to my family and I. They both officers looked over at us.

  Then he climbed up onto a makeshift small wood stage elevating him off the ground about four feet, to make himself appear taller - or just so he could be seen by all of us. It did not really matter I guess.

  We were all silent, and then he spoke up, “Welcome all to Auschwitz! The largest camp of its kind, a true gem of the “Third Reich.” At this time I want to welcome you all to my camp,”

  My heart suddenly sunk all the way to the pit of my stomach, Abram and I just looked at one another shocked, I whispered to him, “I mean of all places they took us, it had to be here. The very hell we had heard about. Oh, how can this be good?”

  We both looked at one another with much apprehension. We suddenly grew extremely anxious.

  Abram said, “Of all places, they could have taken us to…”

  Suddenly I was having a rather hard time breathing.

  The German continued on, “I am the senior commanding officer of this camp; there are now more than a million Jews presently housed in this camp at any one time. Therefore, you can understand why it is that I expect - no I demand complete order here - to make sure things flow smoothly. You will do as you are ordered, if you do not, it is quite simple, you will be hung, and your body left on the ropes to rot as a reminder to anyone that chooses to disobey! If any of you try to escape, then you will be shot, along as a punishment to the others, for allowing an escape, ten innocent Jews will be brought out and shot, and everyone else will be brought out and forced to watch.

  Also you are permitted no personal belongings in the camp, from here on forward, so at this time all of you place your personal items you brought with you here on the ground directly in front of you - your belonging will be collected, and then donated to the “Third Reich.”

  I could not believe what he was ordering us to do. The pictures and other last few items I had tying us to the old world, we were now being forced to now discard. I was doing my best to fight back the tears. Crying was all that I seemed to do anymore! I guess I was just so sad.

  “Very good, now take all your clothing off including your undergarments - you will soon be supplied with new clothing which we supply all Jews. Pile the clothing in front of you.”

  I was in
complete shock that he was expecting us to now strip down - we were being asked to get naked. We were all so humiliated by these harsh orders, not to mention it was absolutely freezing out. My daughter did not understand why we had taken her clothing off. What could I possibly say to her! The men would see me naked!

  I just told her, “Please honey, you must do as the man is asking, or we will get into big trouble, they could hurt us.”

  Then after a couple of minutes, once he could see that everyone had obeyed, he spoke up, “Now I want two lines formed. One line will be made up of the men - the other line will be made up of the women and children. Boys over ten years old will be getting in the line with the men. Do this at once!”

  It was happening - the moment I desperately feared. They were ripping us apart, the families. People including me began crying out for their loved ones! I would be included in this horrible nightmare. Why were they doing this? Was it their intent on breaking up every single family?