Upon a Midnight Clear

by Jude Deveraux

  "Dad," she said patiently. "It's over. Tony wasn't right for me. It didn't have anything to do with you."

  He looked at her, not believing her words.

  "Really," she said, although she wasn't convinced herself. "I need someone who's more settled. More… well, someone who doesn't work as much. Anyway," she said, smiling at him. "I don't want to discuss it anymore. I just want you to get better, so that we can go home. In time for Christmas."

  "I want you to be happy, Kim," her father said.

  She smiled. "I know you do, Dad."

  He nodded, watching her.

  "By the way," she said. "I was thinking about taking the pool cover off, turning it into an ice rink."

  Her father nodded. "Does this mean that you're thinking about staying?"

  "Yes. For a while. Maybe even… well, permanently. I mean, you're going to need some help, and I want to spend some time with you."

  His eyes welled with tears. "So what do you want for Christmas this year, Kim?"

  "I'd like to have my father home."

  A voice from behind her said, "I think we can arrange that."

  Kim turned to see Tony standing in the doorway. He gave her a weak smile as he focused his attention on Harold. "Good morning, Harold. How are you feeling today?"

  "Better," Harold managed, looking at his daughter. She had turned a shade of pink and was glancing around uncomfortably for her purse.

  "Kim, I'm glad you're here," Tony said. "Harold, I know you don't want to hear it, but you're going to need some assistance for a while after you return home. Just for a month or so. Maybe a nursing assistant. Someone to help you grocery shop, cook dinner…"

  "That won't be necessary," Kim said quickly.

  Tony shrugged. "Maybe not necessary, but it would be helpful. He's going to have to take it easy for a while…"

  "I understand. But a nurse won't be necessary," Kim said, speaking to Tony across her father's bed. "I'm staying."

  Tony was silent for a split second. "For how long?" he asked. It was clear to everyone in the room that he was not asking for professional reasons.

  Kim met his eyes directly. She was not staying because she had changed her mind about dating him, she was staying because she was trying to rebuild her relationship with her father. "I don't know. Maybe permanently." She shot her father a quick smile as she grabbed her purse. "I'll see you later, Dad."

  As Kim walked out of the room, Tony looked down at the chart, though he was too upset to focus. He had received Kim's message—loud and dear.

  Harold stared at Tony, aware of the pain the young man was suffering. "You care about her, don't you?"' he asked quietly.

  Tony shrugged as his eyes focused on his patient "Yes. Yes, I care about her. Very much." He sighed. "Anyway," he said, forcing himself to concentrate on the matter at hand, "I'm glad to see that you're stabilized."

  "It helps to have Kim here," Harold said, watching Tony carefully.

  Tony smiled sadly. "Yes, I'm sure it does."

  Harold paused, pushing himself up slightly. "I hear you've been running the department in my absence."

  Tony shifted his feet uncomfortably as he glanced toward the door. "Yes, well, not officially. Just filling in for you until you get back."

  "I've been hearing good things about you," Harold said.

  Tony glanced at him, surprised. "Well, that's nice to know."

  Harold nodded, signaling to Tony that he was dismissed. "Keep up the good work," he said.

  Tony just looked at him. It sounded like Harold Risson was giving him his blessing. But his blessing for what? "Thank you," Tony said quietly. He hung the chart back up on the wall and left the room, shutting the door behind him.

  Harold Risson closed his eyes. But he wasn't ready to go to sleep. He needed time to think. He wanted his daughter to be happy, and it was obvious to him that she cared about Tony. He needed to arrange for them to meet outside of the hospital… but how could he do that?

  He smiled as he began to formulate a plan.

  A few minutes later, he heard the door creak and opened his eyes to see Kim enter the room.

  "Kim," he said tiredly. "How do you feel about representing me at the hospital Christmas party this Saturday night?"

  "Hey, doc! Where do you want this?"

  Tony walked to the front door. On the stoop, two men were holding an overstuffed armchair. "Next to the other one," he said, glancing into the living room.

  "One more thing and you're not going to be able to move in here," the delivery man said.

  Tony nodded. The room was totally furnished, couch, chairs, end tables, lamps. His entire house, in fact, was now completely furnished.

  "What's going on?" the delivery man asked, looking at Tony. "You sure bought a lot of stuff. You getting married or something?"

  Tony shook his head. "No. Not that fortunate, I'm afraid."

  "Fortunate," the guy said, chuckling. "Take my word for it. You're fortunate right now. Big house, nice dog. No wife. Very fortunate."

  Tony smiled as he shook his head. He didn't feel fortunate. All he could think about recently was Kim. And what might have been.

  In fact, he had been struck with the sudden urge to decorate when all of his other advances toward Kim had been rejected. Since the night of their breakup, she had been pleasant and polite, but unwavering in her decision for them to stay "just friends." He had been surprised by his unwillingness to accept the end of the relationship. He knew why. For the first time in his life—he was in love.

  Kim stood next to Jason Neerbore, a radiologist who was even less exciting than his name suggested. He was talking to her about the difference between Bach and Mozart, a difference that in most situations she would have been happy to discuss. But right now, she was distracted. She had received a call from the gallery owner this morning, informing her that her show had been a success. They had sold almost all of the work she had presented and had received commissions for several more paintings. But tonight, on what should have been a night for celebration, all she could think about was Tony, and whether or not she would see him.

  Still nodding at Jason's monologue, she shifted her position. She had inadvertently bought a pair of nylons that were a size too small, and she could feel the crotch drop a little each time she moved.

  She felt a hand on her arm. It was Jason. "My partner just arrived," he said. "I'd like to introduce you to him. He did his residency in Florida."

  "Oh, great," Kim murmured, trying to sound enthusiastic. "But I have to go to the ladies' room. I'll be just a minute."

  "Okay," he said, sliding his glasses up his nose. "I’ll be right here."

  "Got it," Kim said. She made her way into the ladies' room and yanked up her nylons, causing the small run at the top to rip down the side. She shook her head as she turned before the mirror, trying to ascertain how noticeable it was. Considering they were off-black, and her dress was a snug, velvet green mini, it was just about as noticeable as it could get.

  Kim hesitated before pulling them off. She threw them in the trash and slipped her black high-heeled shoes back on her bare feet. She turned away from the mirror, not happy with the reflection. She probably should have bought a dress that was a little more conservative, but she had postponed shopping for it until just that afternoon, a time crunch that inspired impulse buys. She made a mental note to hold in her stomach as she left the ladies' room.

  As she walked by the bar, she was too busy holding her breath to notice anyone. "Kim," a voice called out. A voice so familiar it made her jump.

  She turned around and found herself staring right up into Tony's deep green eyes. He looked handsome in his suit and tie, a change from his usual wardrobe of hospital scrubs or faded jeans, She exhaled quickly, allowing herself to breathe. "Hi, Tony," she said as casually as she could manage. '

  "I'm surprised to see you here," he said, not bothering to hide his excitement.

  "Yes, well," she said, shrugging, trying to play it cool, "m
y dad asked me to come."

  He tilted his head slightly forward as though he was tempted to kiss her. He suddenly paused and straightened, as he said, "I'm glad I ran into you. Your show… it was last night, wasn't it? How did it go?"

  Kim smiled, impressed that he remembered. "It went very well. Thanks for… remembering."

  He smiled at her, his eyes wandering toward the swell of her breasts above the tight green material. His eyes drifted down toward the rest of her body and then back up slowly, as if he wanted her to realize that he was appreciating every delicate curve. "How could I forget?" he asked, his eyes meeting hers.

  "Kim! There you are," Jason said, loosely grabbing her arm. "Don't try and steal her away from me," he joked to Tony.

  "Steal her away?" Tony asked, glancing at Kim. Was she here with him?

  'Tony!" a woman said, practically pouncing on top of him. "Or should I say, Dr. Hoffman. Ah, hell, we're not at the hospital!" She laughed.

  Kim gave her a quick once-over. She was a petite, gorgeous blonde for whom Kim felt an immediate, almost inherent dislike. Kim had a feeling that her dislike had something to do with the way the woman looked in her tight, little black dress. Or maybe it was the way she casually looped her hand around Tony's arm.,

  "Let's dance," the woman said. "'You promised."

  Kim glanced at Jason uncomfortably, trying to ignore the jealousy that was yanking at her heart.

  "Jenny," Tony said, talking to the woman on his arm even though his eyes hadn't left Kim. "Do you know Jason Neerbore?"

  The woman nodded. It was obvious she had already had more than a few drinks. "I think so____"

  "And this," Tony said, "is Kim Risson. Dr. Risson's daughter."

  "Nice to meet you," she said, giving Tony a sloppy tug on his arm. "Come on, Tony."

  Tony forced himself to break away from Kim and Jason. "Have fun," he said, accepting Jenny's hand as she pulled him onto the dance floor.

  Jason smiled as he watched Tony and Jenny weave their way through the couples entwined together in front of the band. "That Tony. He's always got some beautiful girl on his arm. He's too much, isn't he?"

  Kim stepped out of her car and adjusted her sunglasses. It wasn't as though she needed them to protect her eyes against the sun. In fact, even though it was nine o'clock in the morning, the day was dreary and overcast, making it look as though the sun had not yet appeared. But she was suffering from a lack of sleep, and her tired eyes were sensitive to the slightest glare. She wouldn't have minded if she was suffering from a good cause. But her bloodshot eyes were not a result of a good time; they were a result of a restless night spent thinking about Tony. After Jenny had pulled him onto the dance floor, Kim had lost track of him temporarily. Unfortunately, when she saw him again, he was following Jenny out the door.

  Kim had left the party shortly after, tormented by emotions she did not want to admit.

  Kim glanced to her right as a bright red car pulled in alongside her. Her heart stopped beating when she saw that inside the bright red car were none other than Tony and Jenny. Together.

  "Hi, Kim," Tony said, swinging open his door.

  "Hello," Kim replied, giving him a curt nod. She suppressed an instinct to run away and instead stood still, politely waiting for them to join her.

  "Jenny," he said, standing up. "You remember Kim Risson?"

  Jenny hesitated as she slammed her door.

  "From last night," Tony said.

  She laughed. "I don't remember much about last night." She glanced at her watch. "Oh boy, I've got to hustle. I'm late. All because of you," she said, nudging Tony with her elbow.

  Kim swallowed as she picked up her pace. So much for Tony changing his ways.

  Tony scurried to keep up with Kim. "Jenny works with the thoracic team."

  "How nice," Kim said, giving him a look that she hoped would stop him in his tracks. It didn't.

  "Transplant coordinator," he said, as if Kim cared. She didn't. The only thing she cared about was never seeing him again.

  Jenny made a sharp right turn as soon as she headed into the hospital. "Bye, guys. Tony, I'll see you tonight around six," she said, taking off her coat as she ran toward Administration. Kim and Tony were left alone. Kim continued walking, hurrying toward the elevator.

  "Jenny is…"

  "I don't really care about Ginny…"

  "Jenny," Tony corrected her.

  "Whatever her name is," she interrupted, pressing the elevator button.

  "She's a transplant coordinator. She lives—" he began.

  "Look," she interrupted him, impatiently hitting the elevator button again. "You don't have to explain anything. It's none of my business who you spend your time with."

  The elevator doors opened and an elderly woman stepped out. "Good morning, Dr. Hoffman," she said, breaking into a smile. "I'm glad I ran into you. I have a question about my husband…"

  Kim used the distraction to escape inside the elevator. The doors snapped shut before Tony could join her.

  "What's the matter," her father asked. "Didn't you enjoy yourself last night?"

  Kim forced a smile. "It was all right."

  "That bad, huh?"

  Kim smiled. "The shrimp was good."

  "Did you, ah… run into Tony there?"

  Kim nodded. "Yes," she said. "He was there."

  "Did you talk to him?" he asked hopefully.

  She paused, looking at him suspiciously. "Dad… what are you up to?"

  "Nothing."

  "Look, Tony is not my type. I'm not sure what my type is, but he's not it. End of subject. Besides," she said, looking at him suspiciously, "I thought you didn't like him."

  "I never said that. I just… well, I had made some assumptions about him. But I've decided that if you want to marry him—"

  "Marry him?" Kim interrupted loudly. "Where the heck did you get that idea?"

  He shrugged. "It seemed obvious that you cared about him____"

  "Whoa," she said, raising her hands. "Look, Dad, he's a nice guy and all, but we… well, we're not right for each other. If I married Tony—which, by the way, is ludicrous even to mention," she rambled on, "considering we only went out a couple of times—but, if I did, which I won't, my whole life would revolve around his schedule. I have a career, a career that means everything to me."

  Her father wrinkled his brow, confused. "You're an artist," he stated. "You can't marry a doctor? How come?"

  "It's not just the doctor thing. It's the marriage part. I mean, I spend all my time working, unencumbered with thoughts like: What time is he coming home? Do I have to fix dinner? Do I have to pick up dry cleaning? Do I have to… take a shower?" She sighed, as if exhausted by the very thought.

  "Your career is everything to you, huh?" he said, thinking. "Sounds like you're more like me than you care to admit."

  Kim paused, thinking about what her father had said. For so long he had represented everything she resented. Was she so busy resenting the choices he had made that she hadn't noticed herself doing the same thing?

  "You're a beautiful, warm girl," her father said paternally. "And you're not married. You've never even come close. How come?"

  She shrugged. "I haven't met anyone interesting. I work by myself all day, and at night I'm too tired to go out."

  "I don't know Tony very well, but he certainly seems interesting to me… and I know a lot of women at this hospital would agree."

  "Then they should marry him."

  "He doesn't want them. He wants you."

  Kim shook her head. "You're wrong."

  Her father watched her carefully. The pain was evident in her eyes. She cared about Tony, and regardless of what she said, her eyes could not deny the intensity of her feelings. "Are you afraid that Tony will treat you like I treated your mother?"

  "What?" she asked, surprised.

  "Tony isn't like me. He's a different man… from a different generation—"

  "Dad," she interrupted.

  He rais
ed his hand, silencing her. "Your mother and I had our issues. They were ours, and our alone. My job didn't drive a wedge between us, Kim. I did. It wouldn't have mattered what kind of job I had."

  "What are you trying to say?"

  He paused. "I don't think Tony should pay for my mistake."

  "What is this? I thought you didn't like him!"

  He shook his head. "I like him. I just don't like what he represents."

  "Which is?"

  "Change. I think there are some people around here that would like to see Tony replace me as head of thoracic surgery."

  Kim shifted her eyes downward.

  He continued, "I'm beginning to think that might not be a bad idea. You see, I'm not afraid of change anymore—or the future. In fact, I look forward to it. I have a chance to change, a chance to correct some mistakes I've made."

  Kim smiled sadly. "I look forward to the future, too.

  Her father hesitated. "Where's my wallet?"

  Kim wrinkled her forehead, confused. "Your wallet?"

  He nodded.

  She pulled open a drawer next to his bed and pulled out the worn, brown leather case. "Right here."

  "Look inside the top fold there. Behind the credit cards."

  She opened the fold and glanced at a worn piece of paper, neatly folded up. What's this?" she asked.

  He nodded. "Read it."

  She unfolded the note. In large, light script was written:

  Dear Daddy,

  Because I haf skwandired my alowance, I am giving

  you Max for Christmas. Plese take care of him.

  Love, Kimberly Risson

  When she was finished reading the note, she looked up at her father, surprised that he was sentimental enough to have kept this letter in his wallet for all these years.