The Arabian Nights (New Deluxe Edition)
Page 38
Soon the maid came to him and said, “My lady wishes to speak with you,” but he replied, “I will have no more to do with you people.” The maid went back and told her lady, who, before my brother knew it, put her head out of the window, weeping and saying, “My darling, what is the matter with you?” But he did not reply. Then she swore to him that she was innocent of what had happened to him, and when he saw her beauty and charm, he forgot what had happened to him and was glad to see her.
A few days later, the maid came to him and said, “My lady sends you greetings and would like you to know that her husband will spend the night at the home of one of his friends. When he leaves, come to us and spend the night with her.” But the fact of the matter was that the husband had said to his wife, “It seems that the tailor has given up on you.” She replied, “Let me play another trick on him and ridicule him before the entire city.” But my brother did not know what was in store for him. As soon as it was dark, the maid came to him and took him to the house, and when the lady saw him, she said, “My lord, God knows how I have been longing for you.”
But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said, “Sister, what a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”
THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-SIXTH NIGHT
The following night Shahrazad said:
I heard, O happy King, that the tailor told the king of China that the barber told the guests that he said to the caliph:
My brother said to the lady, “My lady, give me a quick kiss,” but hardly had he spoken, when the husband emerged from a room, saying, “For shame! By God, I will not let you go until I deliver you to the chief of the police.” My brother kept imploring him, but he would not listen and carried him to the chief, who gave him a hundred lashes and, mounting him on a camel, paraded him throughout the city, with a crier proclaiming “This is the punishment of those who trespass upon other people’s wives.” Then the prefect banished him from the city, and he left, not knowing where to go. But I went out after him and took care of him.
When he heard my story, the caliph laughed and said, “You have done well, O Silent One and man of few words!” and he bade me take a gift and go away. But I said, “By God, O Commander of the Faithful, I will take nothing, unless I tell you what happened to my other brothers.”
1. Dabiq is a city in Egypt known for its fine linen.
[The Tale of the Second Brother, Baqbaqa the Paraplegic]
MY SECOND BROTHER’S name was Baqbaqa, and he was the paraplegic. One day, as he was going on some business, he was met by an old woman, who said, “Fellow, stop for a moment, so that I may propose something to you, and if my proposition pleases you, you may proceed with the help of the Almighty God.” My brother stopped, and she said, “What I have to say is that I shall take you to a pleasant place, providing that you don’t ask too many questions,” adding “What do you say to a handsome house and a garden with running waters and fruits and clear wine and a face as lovely as the moon for you to embrace?” When my brother heard her words, he asked, “Is all of this in this world?” She replied, “Yes, it is all yours, if you behave sensibly and refrain from meddling and talking too much.” He replied, “Very well.” Then she walked, and he walked behind her, intent on following her instructions. Then she said, “The young lady to whom you are going likes to have her way and hates to be contradicted. If you follow her wishes, she will be yours.” My brother said, “I will never contradict her in anything.” Then he followed the old woman until she brought him to a mansion full of servants. When they saw him, they asked, “What are you doing here?” But the old lady replied, “Leave him alone; he is a workman, and we need him.”
Then she brought him into a spacious yard, in the middle of which stood the loveliest of gardens, and seated him on a fine couch. Soon he heard a great commotion, and in came a troop of young ladies surrounding a lady as lovely as the full moon. When my brother saw her, he rose and bowed before her, and she welcomed him and bade him be seated. When he sat down, she turned to him and said, “God has chosen you and sent you as a blessing to us.” My brother replied, “My lady, the blessing is all mine.” Then she called for food, and they brought fine dishes. But as they ate, the lady could not stop laughing, and whenever my brother looked at her, she looked away from her maids, as if she was laughing at them, all the while showing my brother affection and jesting with him until he concluded that she was in love with him and that she would grant him his wish. When they finished eating, the wine was set before them, and there came ten young ladies as lovely as the moon, carrying lutes, who began to sing plaintive songs, which delighted my brother. Then the lady drank the cup, and my brother rose …
But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”
THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-SEVENTH NIGHT
The following night Shahrazad said:
I heard, O happy King, that the tailor told the king of China that the barber told the guests that he said to the caliph:
My brother rose, but as he was drinking the cup in greeting, the lady gave him a slap on the neck. He drew back in anger, but as the old woman kept winking at him, he returned and the lady bade him sit. But she hit him again, and as if that was not enough, she ordered her maids to hit him too, all the while saying to the old woman, “I have never seen anything better than this,” and the old woman replying, “Yes, by God, my lady.” Then the lady ordered her maids to perfume my brother with incense and sprinkle rosewater on him; then she said to him, “May God reward you. You have entered my house and submitted to my condition, for whoever crosses me, I turn him away, but whoever is patient with me I grant him his wish.” My brother replied, “My lady, I am your slave.” Then she bade all her maids sing with loud voices, and they did as she bade.
Then she cried out to one of the maids, saying “Take my darling with you, take care of him, and bring him back to me soon.” My brother rose to go with the maid, not knowing what was intended for him, and as the old woman rose to go with them, he said to her, “Tell me what she wishes this maid to do to me.” The old woman replied, “Nothing but good. She wishes to dye your eyebrows and remove your mustaches.” My brother said, “The dyeing of the eyebrows will come off with washing, but the plucking out of my mustaches will be hard on me.” The old lady said, “Beware of crossing her, for her heart is set on you.” So my brother submitted while the maid dyed his eyebrows and plucked out his mustaches. Then she went back to her lady, who said, “There is one more thing; shave his chin, so that he may be beardless.” The maid returned to my brother and began to shave his beard, and the old woman said to him, “Be glad, for she would not have done this to you if she had not been passionately in love with you. Be patient, for you are about to have your wish.” My brother submitted and sat patiently, while the maid shaved his beard.
Then she brought him to her mistress, who, delighted at the sight, laughed until she fell on her back and said to him, “My lord, you have won my heart with your good nature.” Then she conjured him by her life to rise and dance, and he began to dance, while she and the maids grabbed everything around and threw it at him until he fell senseless from the pelting and hitting. When he came to himself, the old woman said to him, “You will have your wish.”
But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”
THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-EIGHTH NIGHT
The following night Shahrazad said:
I heard, O happy King, that the tailor told the king of China that the barber told the gu
ests that he said to the caliph:
When my brother came to himself, the old woman said to him, “One more thing and you will have your wish; it is her habit, when she gets intoxicated, to let no one have her until he takes off his shirt and trousers and stands naked. Then she runs away, as if she is trying to escape, while he follows her from place to place until his penis hardens and becomes firmly erect. Then she stops and lets him have her,” adding “Rise and take off your clothes.” My brother took off all his clothes and stood stark naked. Then the lady herself took off her clothes, except for her trousers, and said to him, “If you want me, follow me until you catch me,” adding “Start running,” and she began to run from place to place, while, overwhelmed with desire, with his cock sticking straight up in the air, he ran after her like a madman. She entered a dark place and he followed her, stepping on a soft spot, which caved in under him, and before he knew it, he found himself in the middle of the leather market, where the traders were shouting their wares, buying and selling.
When they saw him in that condition, naked, without a beard, and with red eyebrows, they yelled and clapped their hands at him and beat him with hides on his naked body until he fell senseless. Then they set him on an ass and took him to the city gate. When the chief of the police arrived, he asked, “What is this?” They replied, “Lord, this fellow fell from the vizier’s house, in this condition.” The prefect gave him a hundred lashes and banished him from Baghdad. I went after him, O Commander of the Faithful, brought him back secretly into the city and arranged for his upkeep, and I wouldn’t have done it were it not for my generous nature.
But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”
THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-NINTH NIGHT
The following night Shahrazad said:
I heard, O happy King, that the tailor told the king of China that the barber told the guests that he said to the caliph:
[The Tale of the Third Brother, Faqfaq the Blind]
MY THIRD BROTHER, O Commander of the Faithful, was blind. One day God led him to a great house, and he knocked at the door, hoping that the owner might respond and that he might then beg from him. When the owner asked, “Who is at the door?” my brother did not answer. Instead, he knocked again, and when the man asked for the second time, “Who is there?” he again did not answer. Then he heard the man repeat in a loud voice, “Who is there?” and when he still did not answer, he soon heard the man come to the door, open it, and say, “What do you want?” My brother replied, “Something, for the love of the Almighty God.” The man asked, “Are you blind?” and my brother replied, “Yes.” The man said, “Give me your hand.” My brother put out his hand, thinking that the man would give him something. But the man seized it and, drawing him into the house, carried him up, from stair to stair, until they reached the housetop, my brother thinking all the while that the man would give him some food.
Then they sat down, and the man asked my brother, “What do you want, blind man?” My brother replied, “Something, for the love of the Almighty God.” But the man said, “God help you.” My brother asked, “Fellow, why didn’t you tell me this downstairs?” The man replied, “You mean man, why didn’t you answer me from the beginning?” My brother asked, “What do you want to do with me now?” The man answered, “I have nothing to give you.” My brother said, “Then take me downstairs.” But the man replied, “The way is open before you.” My brother rose and began to descend the stairs until there remained only twenty steps between him and the door, when his foot slipped, and he rolled all the way down to the door and cut his head.
He went out, not knowing where he was, and met two of his comrades, who asked him, “How did you do today?” He replied, “Don’t ask!” Then he told them what had happened to him, adding, “Brothers, I would like to take some of our joint money and spend some of it on myself.” It happened that the owner of the house had, without my brother’s knowledge, followed him and heard what he said, and when my brother went to his house and sat down to wait for his comrades, the owner of the house, again without his knowledge, entered after him. When his comrades arrived, he said to them, “Shut the door and search the place to make sure that there is no intruder here.” The intruder, hearing this, rose, unperceived by the others, and clung to a rope that hung from the ceiling, so that when my brother’s comrades searched the house, they found no one. Then they came back to my brother and asked him about his situation, and he told them that he needed his share of what they had collected. Each of them dug up what he had and placed it before my brother, who counted ten thousand dirhams, and after he took what he needed, they buried the rest in a comer of the room.
Then they set some food, and when they began to eat, my brother heard a stranger chewing beside him. He said to them, “By God, there is a stranger among us,” and, stretching his hand, grabbed the intruder’s hand, and while my brother caught hold of him, his comrades fell on the intruder, boxing and beating him. After they gave him beating enough, they cried out, “O Muslims, a thief has entered our house to steal our property!” When a large crowd began to gather, the intruder caught hold of them and, shutting his eyes, pretended to be blind, so that none would doubt him, accused them of what they had accused him, saying “I appeal to God and the king to judge between us.” Suddenly the watchmen came and, seizing them, dragged them all, together with my brother, to the chief of the police, who had them brought before him and asked, “What is the matter with you?” The intruder, who was not blind, replied, “God bless the king. Even though you can see, you will not find out anything, except by torture. Begin by beating me; then beat this man, who is our chief,” pointing to my brother. They threw the man down, O Commander of the Faithful, and gave him four hundred blows. When he began to smart under the blows …
But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “Sister, what a strange and entertaining story! What an amazing story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!” King Shahrayar said to himself, “By God, I will not kill her until I hear the rest of the story of the insufferable barber and his brothers and find out what happened between the king of China and the Jewish physician and the Christian broker and the steward. Then I will kill her, as I did the others.”
THE ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTIETH NIGHT
The following night Shahrazad said:
I heard, O happy King, that the tailor told the king of China that the barber told the guests that he said to the caliph:
The chief of police gave the intruder four hundred blows on his arse, and when he began to smart, he opened one eye, and as the pain increased with the blows, he opened the other. The chief asked, “What is this, you devil?” The man replied, “Give me your seal ring of pardon and I will tell you what is going on.” When the chief gave him the ring, he said, “My lord, we are four fellows who pretend to be blind, so that we may enter people’s houses and gaze on their women and corrupt them. In this way, we have made ten thousand dirhams, but when I said to my comrades, ‘Give me my share of two thousand and five hundred dirhams,’ they refused and beat me and took away my money. I appeal to God and to you for protection, and it is better that you keep my share than they. If you wish to verify what I have said, beat each of them twice as much as you have beaten me, and they will surely open their eyes.” The chief ordered the three to be beaten, starting with my brother, whom they tied to a ladder. Then he said to them, “You vicious men, do you deny God’s gift to you and pretend to be blind?” My brother replied, “By God, by God, O lord, there is none among us who can see.” But they beat him until he fainted. Then the intruder said to the chief, “Leave him until he revives; then beat him again, for he can stand more beating than I.” The chief
ordered the other two to be beaten, and each of them received more than three hundred blows, while the intruder kept saying, “Open your eyes, or you will be beaten anew.”
At last he said to the chief, “Prince, send someone with me to fetch the money, for these fellows will not open their eyes, for fear of being exposed before the people.” The chief sent someone to fetch the money, gave the intruder two thouand and five hundred dirhams, his supposed share, and took the rest for himself. Then he banished the three men from the city. I, O Commander of the Faithful, went out after my brother and, overtaking him, asked him about his plight, and he told me the story I have just related to you. I took him secretly back into the city and arranged for his upkeep, without letting anyone know.
When the caliph heard my story, he laughed and said, “Give him a gift and let him go.” But I said to him, “By God, O Commander of the Faithful, I am a man of few words and great generosity, and I must relate to you the stories of my other brothers, in order to prove it to you.”
[The Tale of the Fourth Brother, the One-Eyed Butcher]
MY FOURTH BROTHER, the one-eyed one, was a butcher in Baghdad, who raised rams and sold meat. The prominent and the wealthy used to buy their meat from him, so that he acquired houses and property and amassed a great wealth. He continued to thrive for a long time until one day, as he was sitting in his shop, an old man with a long beard came up to him, gave him some money, and said, “Give me meat for this amount.” My brother cut for him his money’s worth of meat, and the old man went away. My brother looked at the silver coins the old man had given him and, finding them brilliantly white, put them aside by themselves. The old man continued to come to my brother for five months, and my brother continued to put the money he received from him into a separate chest.