Sit Down Shut Up And Pull The Trigger_A Supernatural Action Adventure Opera

by Michael Todd

  Apparently Damian had understated what was going on. There was no way he was going to bother whatever creature was behind that door.

  Katie laid on the bed, rubbing her hand in circles over her stomach. She had a very large food baby in there; she was pretty sure this one was bigger than the first time.

  She wasn’t sure how it could possibly be worse, but she was willing to bet serious money it was, dammit, and she regretted every glorious moment of it.

  Even Pandora had been oddly quiet that morning, not feeling too hot herself even though none of that food had gone into her stomach.

  It serves you right, Katie groaned. I told you no, but you kept pushing. You made me feel terribly guilty.

  Don’t blame me, witch. Pandora retorted. You are a person too. You have the ability to tell me no and actually follow through with it. The truth was, you didn’t want to stop. You liked fulfilling your cravings—eating sugar and carbs and fat without having to worry about it. I can only spike your metabolism so high. At this point you are just going to have to wait it out.

  Can you at least help me nap through it? Katie sniveled.

  Sure, why not? Pandora replied. I could make you suffer—which is my specialty—but I am tired of hearing you complain. It is causing me to suffer, not something I am particularly fond of. You yes, me no.

  Gee, thanks, I… Katie passed out.

  You said you wanted to sleep. Pandora chuckled, yawning herself.

  Katie was out, probably sleeping more deeply than she had most nights recently. Hell, this was probably even better than the time they had given her a sedative before taking out her tonsils when she was eight.

  She didn’t move a muscle, not even to turn on her side. Her head was tilted back and her mouth was open, and the sound of her snoring filled the room.

  After a few minutes of trying to rest, Pandora had enough and forced her body over onto her side. She laid like that for several hours, not dreaming or restless, just letting her body work through the disgusting place she was in.

  When she did finally wake up, she looked over sleepily at the clock. It was early afternoon.

  Katie sat up in the bed and yawned, stretching her arms high over her head. She felt much better than she had before. She rolled over to get a little circulation in her limbs, then stood up. She grabbed a change of clothes, brushed her teeth, and walked back out of the bathroom in a wonderfully rested state.

  Her demon was better than sleeping pills.

  Wake up, she said to Pandora.

  Why? Pandora groaned.

  Because you and I have somewhere to go, Katie told her.

  Donuts? Pandora asked with enthusiasm.

  Uh, no, Katie said. We are good on food at this point, thanks.

  Then what the hell can be important enough to wake me up? she asked.

  We are going car shopping! Katie said excitedly.

  Really? Pandora asked, her voice now fully awake. Yes!

  I know exactly where I want to go first.

  Porsche? Pandora asked interestedly.

  Precisely, Katie replied.

  Now there is sex on four wheels.

  Katie snuck out of the house before anyone caught her and grabbed the third SUV down in the row.

  Almost everyone was gone from the house that day, which made her secret mission that much easier.

  She wasn’t sure if what she was doing was allowed, but she figured that after going through all the trouble of getting a fake identity, she would rather apologize than ask permission.

  She headed to Redwood Drive, where the Porsche dealership was located. Katie didn’t know a bunch about cars, but there was a black car on display that she had seen a million times and wanted to know more about.

  When she pulled up a salesman greeted her in his very expensive suit, perfect hair, and gentle voice.

  “How can we help you today?” he asked.

  “I was wondering, what is that car you have on display?” Katie asked, aware that perhaps she hadn’t dressed appropriately for going expensive car shopping.

  “Well, that is one of my favorites. That is the 2015 918 Spyder Hybrid,” he replied. “They stopped making them after that year, but I think it should be a staple.”

  “Very beautiful,” she said. “How much is it?”

  “That particular model comes with all the bells and whistles 2015 offered.” He smiled. “We are selling it at nine hundred thousand, which is fifty above the base model cost.”

  She had definitely not dressed up enough.

  “Wow!” Katie exclaimed, trying not to show her shock. “May I take a look at it?”

  “Of course,” he said. “Let us know if you need any help.”

  Katie smiled. “Thank you.”

  She walked over to the car and let out a deep sigh; it was exactly what she had imagined driving around the city. It was sleek and glittery black, and looked almost like something Batman would drive around Gotham. Vegas was her Gotham, but a car like that was a bit more than what she was looking for pricewise.

  This is amazing, Pandora gushed. My lips are wet already.

  I don’t want to know what you mean by that, Katie told her. But I do know that it’s too expensive for me. We have a business to run.

  Your business will be fine. Pandora scoffed. We should be treating ourselves, lest we die tomorrow.

  Is that what all your ridiculous choices come from? The fear you will be back in hell any day? Katie asked.

  Pandora sniffed. No, that’s just the donuts.

  No, Katie said firmly. This is too much. Let’s move on.

  Finnnnne. Pandora griped. I would have orgasmed every time we drove that car.

  Katie jumped back in the SUV and headed to West Sahara Avenue to check out the Aston Martin dealership.

  She had seen a Vanquish one time at a car show in Las Vegas and had loved the look of the car ever since.

  She hadn’t checked on it in a long time, though, so she had no real idea how much it cost or if they even made it anymore—but she was dead-set on finding out.

  When they pulled up, she spotted a full row of them in almost every color offered. She had gotten out of the car and started to walk over to them when a salesman approached her.

  “Good afternoon.” He smiled. “How can I help you today?”

  “I just came to see how deep your Vanquish selection was.” Katie returned his smile.

  He waved to the row of cars. “Well, as you can see, we have a nice selection right now. Or, we can order one to your specifications if we don’t have what you want in stock.” He glanced at her clothes. “You can also check out our used car area, where there are some older versions.”

  “Gotcha.” Katie nodded. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to just walk around.

  “Absolutely. Let us know if you need anything.” He smiled again before going back into the dealership office.

  Katie wandered over to the black one at the end of the row and peeked inside. It had a leather interior, manual transmission, beautiful mahogany accents, and a dashboard she imagined lit up like you were in a spaceship. She walked around the other side and looked at the price point on the window.

  She swallowed hard when she read the three-hundred-thousand-dollar price tag.

  How about this beauty? Pandora asked. Huh? You know you want to take it home right now.

  It’s still too much, she declared. I could buy a house or two for that amount. I just can’t stomach that price for a car.

  You are seriously cramping my car style here, Pandora chided. I mean, what the hell? I know you have twice that much in your drawer at home.

  That isn’t the point, Katie told her.

  What is the point, then? Pandora asked as Katie made her way back to the SUV.

  The point is, no matter how rich I am, I can’t handle paying that much for a car, Katie replied. I’d rather send my mom the majority of it and drive a dang Toyota.

  Don’t even say that, Pandora gasped. You are going to hu
rt my fragile sensibilities.

  You will survive, Katie grumped. I’m not done yet, don’t worry. I am going to find the car I want and feel comfortable paying for.

  You mean you are going to be boring and buy a minivan, Pandora grunted.

  What the hell would I do with a minivan? Katie laughed. I would much rather get like a Jeep SUV of some sort.

  Oh, God, Pandora moaned. I am stuck in car buyer hell with uptight panty girl who wants to buy a car a soccer mom would haul around her five kids in.

  No kids for me, obviously. She sighed. And I’m not going to buy one, I’m just saying I’d rather have that than a minivan.

  Shit, I’d rather have a clown car than a minivan, Pandora exclaimed. This is the first century that I will be able to have a car, and I can’t even get you to shell out enough to make it a good one.

  You are being impossible, Katie scolded, pulling out of the parking lot. I have a plan, so you need to just sit back and relax. You are driving me crazy already.

  At least I’m driving in style, she grumped. Get it? DRIVING in style. No? Never mind.

  That was a terrible joke, Katie replied. Like…terrible.

  Yeah, well, you have taken my spunk away, she said, pouting like a child.

  I am just going to go home if you don’t lay off, Katie warned. We can continue driving the super-secret-looking blacked-out SUV.

  No. Pandora sighed. I’ll behave, but you better have a good plan. Leaving those two cars behind was just crazy. Why did you go top-of-the-line first? Seriously, are you just doing a reverse temptation on me? Because, if you are, it sucks. Not that it wouldn’t impress the hell out of me that you are learning how to be a bitch, but I’ll certainly torture your titties to extinction if I find out that’s true.

  I have a good plan, she argued, ignoring the rest of Pandora’s rant. Just wait and see.

  Katie sure hoped Dealer Number Three was a hit.

  4

  Katie pulled into the Ferrari dealership and smiled—half in relief—as Pandora whistled.

  She got out of the car, and instead of looking around the lot, she went straight into the building to talk to a salesman since she wasn’t very familiar with Ferrari. There was a younger guy, tall, thin build, standing at the front waiting for her to come in.

  He smiled. “Welcome to Ferrari. How can we help you today?”

  “I am in the market for a car, and I thought this would be a good place to come,” Katie explained.

  “And that it is,” he agreed. “Come on.” He gestured. “I’ll tell you a little about Ferrari, and we can walk around the show room.”

  “Perfect,” she said, following him down the hall into a large open space with a number of exotic cars.

  “Ferrari was officially recognized in 1947 when the first one was completed and ready for the road,” he told her, walking along the line of older Ferraris on display.

  “Enzo Ferrari was a race car maker and driver, but in 1939 he quit and started his own business, Auto Avio Costruzioni. The cars were still for racing, but geared more toward your weekend gentleman racers. When the war hit, though, all production came to a halt. When the war was over, Mr. Ferrari built the 125-S which went on that very month to win the Rome Grand Prix. Ferrari boasts over five hundred wins with its vehicles.”

  “Wow.” Katie looked at the pictures, reaching up to one that had what she guessed was Rome in the background. “I didn’t realize they were that far into racing.”

  “Very much so.” He smiled. “Once that started happening demand for Ferrari cars became overwhelming for Enzo, so he sold fifty percent of the company to Fiat. They helped move the production along fast and efficiently. In 1988 Mr. Ferrari died, and Fiat’s ownership in the company grew to ninety percent. But we still make the genuine Ferrari car Enzo made first—and that brings me to the California model, the car I pictured you driving as soon as you drove up.”

  The salesman stopped in front of the last car on the showroom floor and Katie’s eyes got big. It was smooth, sleek, and absolutely gorgeous. It was the exact car that she could see herself driving around Las Vegas in.

  The question was, was it affordable?

  “This is the Ferrari California T,” he said. “On the inside it’s for the gentleman—or gentlelady—weekend racer. But the outside is luxurious, and it will give you a smooth ride anywhere your heart desires.”

  Wow! Pandora exclaimed. He is good.

  Tell me about it, Katie replied.

  He tells a story about a car like he is talking about a woman, Pandora continued. It’s kind of hot.

  “This is a beautiful car,” Katie admitted, her eyes sweeping the lines of the car.

  “That it definitely is,” he agreed. “My first luxury vehicle was a California T. I still have it parked in my garage, though I don’t drive it as often as I would like.”

  She turned to look at him. “What do you drive the rest of the time?” she asked.

  “A Fiat.” He shrugged. “It’s ecologically more responsible and my wife is a climate change researcher, so she gets on me for the cars.”

  “That will do it.” Katie nodded in understanding. “So what colors does it come in?”

  “There are endless colors.” He waved a hand to show a few on the floor. “And we can get into that all when you decide that you want to purchase it—and trust me, you will want to purchase it by the time the day is over.”

  Yeah, he just told you what the hell you will do. Pandora snickered. If he wasn’t showing you a car, I would say kick him in his machismo for being too forward.

  I bet that line works more often than not. Katie laughed. Get it in your head that the car is already yours. It’s much harder to back out of something you have an emotional attachment to, and he is definitely creating that for me.

  “What are you driving now?” he asked.

  “Oh, my company vehicle.” She wrinkled her nose. “I haven’t picked a car to buy, so the boss lets me drive the SUV.”

  “That’s cool of him.” He smiled. “I have to say though, I would feel so limited if I didn’t have my car. It’s literally a tool for getting out of bad situations.”

  Katie walked around the car, continuing to speak as she looked at it from all directions. “I feel pretty naked without a car, which is why I am here. To get one, I mean, but it won’t be stuck away in a garage somewhere. It will be used on a regular basis to get me either into bad situations or out of them.”

  “Touché.” He laughed. “I seem to do both myself, as well.”

  “That’s what makes life fun,” she murmured.

  “Come with me,” he replied, and waved a hand as he started walking down the hallway.

  Katie followed him to the outdoor show area, where he brought her to a red California T, top down and ready to go. She smiled and walked around it once more, coming to a stop next to him.

  “Now, my suggestion would be to custom-order yours so you get everything that you want,” he said, handing her the keys. “But I figured you might want to drive one first.”

  She accepted the keys, her eyes wide. “I’m nervous,” She laughed.

  He opened the driver’s door for her. “Don’t be. You’ll see how well you fit into it.”

  He closed the door once he made sure she was in, and walked around to the passenger side to climb in himself.

  He took two Ferrari ball caps out of the glove compartment and handed one to Katie. She chuckled and put it on as he did the same.

  “This should keep our hair out of our eyes.” He grinned; both of them knew that was so much bullshit. It was the art of the deal, and he was helping her sign onto Team Ferrari.

  Katie started the car and rolled her eyes in ecstasy; now she knew what Pandora meant about her lips being wet. The car purred to her, and begged her to drive it.

  She slowly pulled out of the dealership and onto the road, gripping the steering wheel tightly. The salesman, who was wearing a perfectly pressed suit, looked at her and chuckled.
>
  “Why don’t you take a deep breath and open her up?” he suggested. “You can stop white-knuckling the steering wheel. We have insurance for a reason.”

  Everything felt so comfortable and nice that she didn’t know how she could walk away from the thing. Her body molded into the seats, and although it had originally been created with a man in mind, the whole thing fit her like a glove. She relaxed a bit and glanced at the salesman.

  “All right,” Katie said, “talk to me. Tell me about this car.”

  “Well, it comes in at just under two hundred and fifteen thousand, depending on what you include with it,” he began. “It has five hundred and two horses under the hood.”

  Damn, Pandora said. That’s even more horses than I’d care to have between my legs.

  Holy shit, Pandora! That is so fucking gross.

  I’m kidding, for fuck’s sake, Pandora replied. Don’t slide on your prude panties! Lighten the hell up.

  When you talk about screwing horses, it’s hard to lighten up, Katie argued, taking a right and enjoying the feel of the acceleration.

  Well? Pandora asked.

  Well what? Katie replied.

  What do you think about this car? she asked. I have to admit, it is way cooler than I thought it would be. It also fits your style perfectly. How does it drive?

  Like you are navigating through the clouds, Katie replied. I am pretty much in love with this car.

  Yessss, Pandora hissed. I knew you would be, the moment you got into the thing. It’s no Spyder, but it’s definitely hot enough for me.

  Katie drove down the Strip and back to the dealership, pulling the car up in front. The salesman showed her a couple of cool things on the inside, then took the keys and helped her from the car. She stood back and looked it over, knowing that it was definitely the car for her.

  “So,” he asked. “What do you think?”

  “I think I am in love with the thing,” She laughed, and the sales guy glanced at her.

  “Everyone has that response after driving it.” He chuckled. “When people think Ferrari they think race cars, so they are expecting a loud hard-to-control car, but these California T’s are made for the customer who just wants a car to drive. They are built to be a daily part of your routine. The convertible gives it that California feel, which I love since I am from there.”