Sweet Reflection (Truth)

by Henderson, Grace

  It’s raw and bleeding and hurts like hell, but it’s a reminder that it’s all my fucking fault. I put the red disc in my pocket and pick Laurel up in my arms. She stirs but settles back again and whilst I drive her back home, I ring her mum to tell her I’m on my way and Marissa’s son Jason at the station, to report the break-in.

  “Oh my gosh, is she okay?” Judy asks me as I lay Laurel down on the sofa.

  “I think so. She’s been asleep the whole way. I can’t believe what a mess the store was. She’s going to need you when she wakes up.”

  “Well of course, I’m not going anywhere. But aren’t you staying?”

  I shake my head because I don’t think Laurel would want to see me and after what I’ve found out I can’t face her at the moment.

  “She still loves you, you know?” Her mum says thoughtfully.

  “And I love her. But she deserves better.” My voice hitches and I can’t get it out my head how I’ve fucked up royally this time.

  “Nonsense. Ever since you two got together she’s been happier than I’ve seen her in five years. She’s strong in some ways, but vulnerable in others. She just needs someone to remind her that she is in fact allowed to be happy, and it doesn’t always have to then lead to heartache. She’ll come around. Just wait for her, please.” She grabs hold of my arm and I give her a thin smile before walking out the front door and hitting the accelerator harder than an F1 driver.

  Lights are on. I’m thankful the bitch is here because I need to get it all out. The pent-up anger is not doing me any good, I think as I look down at my busted hand.

  My good fist pounds on the door. As soon as it opens I burst through it like a maniac, and the satisfied look on her face makes me want to throttle her.

  “Tell me these things aren’t you Alex. Please fucking tell me that you aren’t messing with her like this. ‘Cause I swear to you, you will live to regret it.” My voice is carrying all the desperation and anger I can summon from deep inside me. I’ve had to watch the woman I love break into pieces and it’s all because of her.

  “James, how nice to see you. Why don’t you come through?” She walks away and heads through to the kitchen with her head held high and her hips swaying dramatically and I know she’s trying her damned hardest to piss me off.

  “Don’t bullshit me, Alex.” I reach into my pocket and slam her red earring down onto the kitchen table in front of me.

  “Oh, wherever did you find that? I thought I’d never see it again.” Her devious smile gives me all the answers I needed, but I still want her to say it.

  “Why would you do this? You know there’s something not right with you up here don’t you?” My fingers jabs against my temple and she’s even crazier than I first imagined because she laughs.

  “Well, you know what they say; hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” She shrugs her shoulders and opens the fridge to get a bottle of wine out. “Would you like a glass?”

  “You’re pathetic. Do you know you’re losing money too if Proposals goes under? It’s like your damaging your own business. Why would you do that?”

  She gets a glass out the cupboard and pours the wine out, still smiling.

  “Because I can. The money means nothing. I’m just enjoying the way it’s all played out. I told you I didn’t want you seeing her, but you chose her over listening to me. So this is all your fault. But it’s worked out well.” She leans her hip against the counter and smirks at me.

  “You two aren’t together, and her business is wrecked. My work here is done.”

  I can’t believe she’s being so spiteful. “I won’t let you get away with it. I’ll go to the Police. I’ve got the evidence right here.” I point to the earring and quickly pick it up so she can’t get to it.

  “What evidence is that then? I’m admitting it’s my earring. Do you know how many times I’ve been in the store in the past week? Three. I simply lost it when I was there.”

  “I know you had it yesterday. I saw it!”

  “Yes, but no-one else knows that. It’s your word against mine, and who is she going to believe? I’ve been there for her, helping her business grow. I’ve invested time in her and the store.” She walks round the side of the counter to confront me with her next questions.

  “So, does she know we slept together last year? Does she know that you’ve been working on my house? Does she know about my late night visit yesterday?”

  I keep silent as I think about how it would look to Laurel.

  “So when she finds this out, what do you think she’s going to think of you? The man she loves or used to love, who she knows was used to bedding women whenever he felt like it. Do you think she’s going to believe you?”

  Of course she won’t. I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t know for a fact I haven’t cheated on her and never could. But all she will see is the fact I lied to her. Shit, she’s a conniving bitch and I’m going to lose.

  I steel my voice to cover the uncertainty, “You won’t win Alex.”

  “I already have darling, but carry on with the fighting talk if it makes you feel better.” The last thing I hear as I storm out the door is her loud cackle and I drive straight home to think about my next move. I’m seeing her out of my life and getting Laurel back if it’s the last thing I do.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Laurel

  D-Day.

  The past couple of days I’ve not been able to think of much else aside from the break-in and mum. The break-in’s been left with the Police but they don’t have any leads. I’ve been in constant contact with the insurance company and they’re saying there’s not significant enough damage to the front door for it to be a break-in but it’s still being investigated. It means I won’t be getting the pay-out any time soon though. On top of that, mum’s been so sick with her chemo that it’s taken up a lot of my time. Cassie and Blake have been great; Blake has started clearing his schedule to help with the work and Cassie’s been helping with mum every chance she gets.

  As I lay down on the sofa resting my eyes whilst mum’s at Marissa’s for lunch, my thoughts drift to James and the nerves capture my whole body in their chokehold. It’s been exactly two weeks since he said I either come to my senses or he’ll come back for me. I’ve been asking Cassie to keep me updated on what’s going on in his life, just so I feel closer to him. I should have just made a clean break but I’m clinging on to him for as long as I can. It’s better that I ended it myself than always be wondering whether he would. It was the uncertainty that worried me; made me feel helpless and completely out of control.

  The doorbell rings and I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, silently willing whoever’s there to just go away so I don’t have to get up. Then there’s a knock too and my phone vibrates. James. My heart leaps out of my chest at just seeing his name on the screen. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with seeing him again. What if I made the wrong decision? Darren didn’t break up with me because of my dad, so what if James can handle everything I have to go through with my mum’s illness?

  No, I can’t think like that.

  I did what’s best for him, I can’t be so selfish. I can hear him talking through the half-open window so I get up and move closer to listen.

  “Well if she is, she’s not answering. Yeah okay. Thanks Judy. I’ll call you later.”

  The traitor. My mother will be in deep trouble for this.

  “Hi.” Pulling open the door, my breathing halts at the sight of him, and the feelings I’ve done my best to bury all resurface with a vengeance. He has no idea what he does to me. In two weeks his hair has grown slightly longer and now it’s falling across his forehead. The stubble which he’d grow every now and again must be at least a few days old, and it makes him look older, and much more rugged. His smile as I open the door up wider and gesture for him to walk through, makes my stomach turn one-eighty.

  “Hey babe.” I always used to hate being called ‘babe’ before I met him and now, it’s like a warm blanket wrap
ped round me on a cold, shitty day and I’m pissed that I can’t get rid of these feelings. How will I ever manage to be around him again?

  “What are you doing here?” My voice is low, and soft. I can’t get angry, I broke up with him and he never did anything wrong. It was all me and my stupid fears.

  “You know exactly why I’m here Laurel. I gave you two weeks, now I’m back. Can I talk to you, please?”

  I nod weakly and walk through to the lounge, sitting down on the sofa and pulling my feet underneath me. He awkwardly stands trying to decide whether to sit next to me or not, and eventually he opts for the armchair which both disappoints and relieves me.

  “I have some things to tell you and I’m not sure where to start.” He fiddles nervously with the rip in his jeans then rubs a frustrated hand across the back of his neck.

  “Do you really have to tell me? Is it going to make a difference? We aren’t together any more, I just don’t think it’s going to be productive.”

  He blows out a breath and looks defeated already, and my heart is telling my stupid brain not to be so mean.

  “You need to know, Laurel. I should have told you ages ago and none of this would have happened. I’ve already lost you, but if there’s any way I can change your mind then I have to try.”

  “James, I don’t think-“

  “Okay, I get it. Just hear me out.”

  I nod and put my hands up in surrender whilst he tries to gather his thoughts. I watch him closely and I think it makes him more nervous. His brow furrows and he’s grinding his teeth together so hard I can see his cheeks moving.

  “Last year I did some work for a woman in London. We had too many drinks one night and slept together. A complete mistake, it meant nothing. The next day we talked about it briefly and were both happy that it was nothing. Or so I thought. A while later she contacted me saying she had another property and it was around here so of course I jumped at the chance. Plus, I knew a great construction company to help out. It was also a huge amount of work so we were getting paid well for it.”

  “So this is the job you just finished? Where I went to the site?” I ask for clarification, and my stomach churns at what that means. He’d been working for someone he slept with all this time. Was he going to tell me he cheated on me? No, that’s ridiculous, he wouldn’t do that. I know exactly what his reputation was before we got together, I saw it with my own eyes. But there’s no way he’d cheat on me. He has more respect for me than that.

  “Look, it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s all in the past.” I can see how much this is eating at him so maybe he just had to get it of his chest, but as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter anymore.

  He shakes his head and lifts it to look at me. “It isn’t though. She made herself a part of your future when she showed up here with a bundle of cash.”

  “Who?” I’m completely confused until it hits me. There’s only one person who has only recently shown up in my life, Alex.

  My face pales, and he notices and moves swiftly over to the sofa to sit next to me.

  “There’s a bit more to this though. She didn’t like the fact I rejected her when she first arrived and has been causing trouble ever since. That’s why she invested, because she was trying to get back at me. She’s been behind the things that have gone wrong at the store.”

  “The break-in?” I ask quietly, I can’t feel anything but shock.

  He nods slowly, “Yeah, I also think she had something to do with my phone breaking at the awards night. I’d stupidly left it on the table. But now I know what she’s capable of.”

  I feel sick, not just that she could cause this trouble but that she was there that night. And I wasn’t. He tries to take my hand but I shrug him off. I see the hurt in his eyes at my rejection but choose to ignore it.

  “She’ll deny it if I go to the police but I found her earring in the store that day and confronted her about it.”

  The tears come in quick succession and I find it hard to process the information. My business is ruined because of her. She completely deceived me. She didn’t really think I had talent, or a great business, she just wanted to get back at my boyfriend. The only thing that was keeping me going through all this was the fact my store would be back up and running soon and better than ever. But now I’m in partnership with a lying, two-faced, backstabbing whore of a woman, hell-bent on destroying my life. The drama’s just too much.

  “Babe, I really wanted to tell you but when you told me you had an investor I didn’t know who it was at first, then when I saw her at the party I knew you’d hate me if I told you who she really was.”

  “So all this time, you let me think I had a great investor, who was interested in taking my store to the next level, when in fact, it couldn’t have been any further from the truth. How could you?”

  His face drops as he realises I’m angrier than he obviously thought I would be.

  “I’ll figure it out, we’ll get rid of her. We’ll sort everything, it’ll all be okay.”

  I know he’s just trying to make me feel better, but he’s not doing a very good job of it so I stand up hoping he gets the hint.

  “We won’t do anything. There is no we. I’ll have to clean up your mess myself. After all, there’s no-one else I can rely on now.”

  “Please don’t be like that. I can help.”

  “I think you’ve done enough. Just go.”

  “Babe, plea-“

  “I’m not your babe. Just go. And when you ring my mother later like you said you were going to, make sure she knows exactly what you did!”

  I raise my voice as high as I have the energy for and he gets up off the sofa with a look that tells me I’ve just crushed him. He reaches the door, then pauses and I see him take a few breaths in before turning back round.

  “Laurel, my biggest regret is that I didn’t convince you enough of my love. Because if you believed it, you’d realise that there’ll never be anyone that comes close to you. That I’d never leave you like he did. I’d worship the ground you fucking walked on and always put your happiness before anything else.” He shakes his head like’s he’s admonishing himself.

  “I didn’t do enough,” he mutters under his breath as he walks away and I’m left standing in the middle of my living room feeling shocked, and sad, and oh so alone.

  I fall asleep on the sofa and don’t wake up until the next day. I’ve been sleeping for over twelve hours and as I throw the blanket off, I stand up quickly and rush to find out if mum’s back. I should have been awake in case she needed me. I race upstairs and open the door to her room; the bed is made, she’s not here. I run back downstairs and into the kitchen then breathe a sigh of relief when I find her sitting at the kitchen table.

  “You’re back.”

  She chuckles and looks down at herself, “Yes it looks like it, doesn’t it?”

  “Why didn’t you wake me?” I stifle a yawn and stick the kettle on for some much needed coffee.

  “You were sleeping peacefully. You’ve been up with me so much lately, I just figured you’d need your sleep. And I was right.”

  I make a drink then go and sit with her in the lounge.

  “So I had a phone call last night from a very upset young man. He told me everything darling.”

  I fidget with the mug in my hand because I can’t look at her. If we were still together I’d love that he got on so well with my mum. But now it’s strange that they talk. I fell asleep pretty much straight away after he left so I haven’t even had time to think about how I feel.

  “And?” I ask, wondering what she expects me to say.

  “I have something to give you.”

  “What is it?” I ask curiously, but she ignores me and walks slowly and shakily over to the bureau by the window. She ducks her head to search through one of the drawers until she finds what she’s looking for. Her hand pulls out revealing a long white envelope and she comes back to settle on the sofa next to me.

  As she hands it
to me I’m frowning and wondering why she didn’t answer until I turn it over and my heart falters. The burn in my eyes makes them feel like they’re on fire and tears are streaming before I’ve even read it. My name’s written on the front in a familiar scrawl I saw on cards for over twenty years, but it’s been four years since I saw it last. My hands are shaking and I look up at her confused.

  “He wanted me to give it to you when the time was right. And it is.”

  I’m nervous to open it, so I just clutch it against me and stare into my cup like it’s going to give me the strength to do it.

  “I’m going to make us another drink. Open it when you’re ready honey.” She gives me a gentle squeeze on my arm before getting up to give me some privacy.

  My hands are shaking violently as I open the envelope and something falls out but I don’t look at it because I’m too distracted by the handwriting that’s on the paper in front of me. I take a deep breath in, and try to blink away the tears because I can’t read the letter with my eyes so blurry.

  My beautiful girl,

  I’ve started this letter more than ten times because it’s been such a struggle to find the right words to really get across how much you mean to me. I want more than anything for you to know that I loved you with all my heart. My proudest day was the day you were born. You were perfect, the most amazing little package I could have imagined and it has been the greatest honour to watch you grow into the successful, beautiful, kind-hearted young woman that you are now. It may not appear this way to you, but you taught me so much, and I’m still learning. You have such fire and passion inside of you; you’re strong and courageous and it has come through in everything you have done, please never lose that.

  I’ve had a long and happy life, and it was made all the better by you. You and your mother were my reasons for being, and I have a heavy heart knowing I won’t be around to watch any more milestones in your life, but I cherish the memories of those I have been there for. At this moment, you’re going through your first heartbreak and I can tell how much Darren’s betrayal is hurting you right now. You’re doing well at hiding your pain, but I see it. Who knows, you may still be affected by it. But now, there must be someone new who has stolen your heart because that was one of the conditions I had on when you received this letter. When you found ‘him’. I don’t even know this man, but I do know that I love him like a son because he makes my baby girl happy. He will be there for you when I can’t. He’ll be loving, kind, compassionate, charming, (my guess is he’s also a bit of a looker) and beyond everything else I have no doubt that he’ll treat you well. I know this because I know you; you wouldn’t settle for anything less.