Back Home at Firefly Lake

by Jen Gilroy

  She raised her face, and the lost expression in her eyes shredded his heart even more. “I don’t know whether most people care or not, but I care. Amy does, too. As long as you and I spend time together, and even if Amy knows it isn’t the case, folks will keep saying she’s getting special treatment because of me.”

  Luc’s pulse sped up. “Anybody who says that is jealous because their kid doesn’t have the talent Amy has. In hindsight, maybe you and I getting involved wasn’t the best decision, but it’s too late to change that now. If we make it a big deal, it looks like we’re ashamed. I’m not ashamed of what’s between us. Are you?”

  “No.” Her voice broke.

  “Apart from everything else, we’re friends. I don’t want to lose your friendship.” He didn’t want to lose everything else either, but he couldn’t see a way clear to have it. “Running away from a problem never solved anything. You can’t let the bullies win, either.”

  She gave him the ghost of a smile. “That’s what I told Amy.”

  “See?” He tried to steady his breathing. “Maybe we need to step back for a while so Amy doesn’t feel threatened and the gossip dies down. I’ll do whatever’s best for her. I care about both of you.”

  “We care about you, too.” Cat’s mouth worked and her eyes were filled with pain. “For Amy’s sake, we have to step back. And I can’t promise that will ever change.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Three days later, Cat rang the doorbell beside the front door of Michael’s charming New England clapboard. Although it was the end of March, snow still fell in a soft whisper to edge the porch railing, and the low shrubs near the house were tipped with frost.

  The door swung open, and Michael appeared dressed in a pair of dark cords and a cream-colored sweater. “Since my doctor has grounded me, thanks for coming here.” He ushered her into a cozy hall lined with art, then took her coat.

  Cat pulled off her boots, followed him into the living room, and sat where he gestured in a plump armchair upholstered in a bright berry color. “How are you feeling?” She tucked her tote bag under the chair.

  “Fine, although you’d never know it the way Liz carries on.” He sat in a matching chair to the right of a stone fireplace, where a cheerful fire danced in the grate. “At least she let me out of my dressing gown in honor of your visit. She even went to work for a few hours today.”

  “Liz loves you. She wants you to be around for a long time.” Even as she smiled, Cat’s heart hurt.

  Michael’s expression softened. “I’m not going anywhere unless Liz comes with me. We were a pair of fools for too many years. To think it took me having a heart attack for us to be honest about what we really feel for each other.” He shook his head and poured Cat a cup of tea from the pot on a tray on the table between them. “We might have gone to our graves thinking the silly things that supposedly divide us were more important than what brings us together. Who cares what anybody else thinks?”

  Cat’s hand trembled as she took the cup Michael held out. “Liz said pretty much the same thing to me about you.”

  Along with “don’t sweat the small stuff, and if you have a chance at happiness don’t let it pass you by.” Not only Liz’s words but the unusually serious expression in her brown eyes had stuck in Cat’s head. Although she hadn’t mentioned Luc, Liz’s meaning was clear. Except, what was between Cat and Luc wasn’t the same as that between Michael and Liz. There was a child involved, for a start, and Amy was still upset and mixed up.

  Cat pushed the troubling thoughts away. “I brought the books from the accountant for you to go over.” She set the cup back on the tray and laced her fingers together. “Sales are up again.”

  “Thanks to you.” Michael’s smile was warm. “I’ll take a look at the books later. I want to talk about something else first.”

  “What?” Cat’s stomach lurched and she pressed her joined hands over it. Michael wouldn’t fire her, but maybe he wanted someone else to take on the day-to-day management of the gallery, someone who had business experience and knew more about art and craftwork than she did.

  “I want to offer you a partnership in the gallery with a view to full ownership when I’m ready to retire.” Michael sat back. “You’re a smart woman, and my business couldn’t be in better hands.”

  “I…” The room spun, and Cat pressed harder on her roller-coaster stomach. “I appreciate your offer, but I’m still looking for a university job.” That was what she’d set her mind on since her sophomore year in college. Despite the doubts that niggled, it was what she wanted. Wasn’t it?

  “How’s that working out for you?” Michael’s sharp blue gaze held hers.

  “Not so good.” There was no use trying to sugarcoat it. For the first time in her life, she’d set her mind on a goal she might not reach. Cat scrubbed a hand across her face. “It’s a bad job market. I keep applying, but there’s not a lot out there for someone like me.” Her jaw got tight. “I applied for one job at a small college in New Mexico over a month ago, but I haven’t heard anything.”

  “There must be a lot of idiots on those hiring committees.” Michael gave her a half smile. “But New Mexico? What would you and Amy do so far from family?”

  “Have you been talking to my mom?” Cat’s stomach pitched again.

  “No, but it stands to reason you wouldn’t want to be a continent away from the folks you care about.” He set his teacup on the saucer with a clatter. “I wanted to be an art historian, but when I finished college, there weren’t many jobs in my field, either. I’d worked in galleries in the summers and liked it. My wife was a textile artist and wanted to stay in New England, so when my dad offered to help us start the business here in a building he owned, I thought why not? It’s more than forty years ago now, but that bend in the road has made me happy. Maybe even happier than I’d have been if I’d followed the first path.”

  “I…” Cat stopped. She’d only always seen one path, but what if that path wasn’t all there was for her?

  Michael reached across the table to pat Cat’s arm, his touch gentle, almost fatherly. “Apart from my wife passing so young, I’ve had a pretty good life. If my ticker keeps ticking, I’ve got a lot more life to look forward to. Firefly Lake’s home, and I’ve built a decent business here.” His grin was boyish. “Not bad for one of those ‘artsy-fartsy’ types, as some people around here still call me.”

  Cat managed to smile back. “Decent” was an understatement. She’d seen the books and, even when the economy was tough, the gallery had gone from strength to strength. “I like the work, and you’re a great boss. I’ve never thought about going into business myself, though.”

  “You’re good at it.” Michael’s voice was tinged with unexpected pride. “There are lots of ways you can use that brain of yours without half starving yourself while doing it.”

  “Sure, but…” Cat bit her bottom lip. What would her life be like if she all of a sudden chose a different path? Her heart raced and excitement surged through her.

  “But what?” Michael’s voice was husky. “You may have taken that grant and moved here for Amy’s sake, but you love the work you’re doing over at the inn and, unless I miss my guess, you’d like to do more of it. You could if you worked with me. I can afford to pay you what you’re worth and with full benefits. You wouldn’t be working twenty-four/seven like you are now, either.”

  Cat caught her breath. The gallery would be a steady job. No more of the uncertainty that came with teaching from contract to contract. No more juggling as many contracts as she could and working from dawn to dusk because it was the only way she could support herself and Amy. She’d have security, stability, and work she enjoyed. Although she wouldn’t write the books and articles she’d thought she would, she could write the popular history she liked best instead. The history of people who’d shaped places like Firefly Lake. She’d also have more time for Amy, and a life that wasn’t so caught up in work she’d actually have time to live it.


  “I… wow… you…” She stopped as her vision blurred.

  “You don’t have to let me know right away. Take whatever time you need to think about it.” Michael smiled. “I’m not doing this out of charity. You’re the right person for the job.”

  “I didn’t think… charity… no.” Cat’s tongue got thick in her mouth.

  “Maybe not now, but the thought would have crossed your mind at some point.” He grunted. “Don’t think I don’t know you’re a hard person to help. It takes one to know one.” His eyes twinkled. “But the help wouldn’t be all on one side. You’d be helping me, too. I want to travel, and now I have Liz to go with me. Leaving the gallery with you would be a load off my mind.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” Cat’s thoughts spun like the snowflakes that still tumbled softly outside the leaded-glass window. What did she want, not only for Amy, but for herself? Could stepping off a path that wasn’t working give her what she wanted after all? Had she been so focused on a single goal she’d forgotten there was a whole world of opportunities out there?

  Michael’s expression turned wistful. “You can spend a lot of time looking back in life and that can keep you from going forward. If you’re knocking on a door that’s staying closed, climb through an open window. Maybe you think people will imagine you’ve failed or sold out because you couldn’t get a university job, but why? Nobody who truly cares about you is going to think any less of you for doing something different. All they’ll see is that you’re taking charge of your life. As for anybody else, what does it matter?”

  Except, Cat had spent most of her life caring what other people thought, ever since her dad had made her family the talk of Firefly Lake. Achieving at school had become a way of proving herself. Old habits were hard to break, but that didn’t mean she didn’t need to try. Her muscles went weak and she gripped the arms of the chair. “You’re right.”

  “I usually am.” Michael grinned. “Don’t tell Liz, though.”

  Despite her jumbled thoughts, Cat laughed. “I won’t.”

  “If I’d ever had a daughter, I’d have wanted her to be like you. Not only smart and independent, but a good person through and through.” Michael gave her another fatherly pat. “Talk to Amy. See what she thinks. I appreciate that you need to think about her as well.”

  Snow hissed against the window and, despite the warmth of the comfortable room, Cat shivered. She was thinking about Amy, and she already had a good idea what her daughter would think. If she accepted Michael’s job offer, she could afford that girls’ hockey program Amy had talked about. And if she stayed right here in Firefly Lake, she wouldn’t have to uproot her daughter from a school where she was finally settling in.

  Except, now Cat wanted more. She wanted happiness that had nothing to do with work or Amy. A sick recognition lodged in the pit of her stomach. She wanted the happiness that came from being with Luc, too. Despite the excitement of Michael’s job offer and how it might make her life easier, the price of getting true happiness— and a lasting love—might be too high for her to pay.

  “You’re doing great, but take it easy. You haven’t been on the ice in a month.” Luc clapped Amy’s shoulder, and she gave him a wary smile from behind her helmet—the first smile she’d given him since she’d finally reappeared for her usual after-school coaching session. “Ty Carmichael’s going to take you through a couple of drills while I talk to your mom.” He waved at the blond teen on the far side of the ice, who towered over three tiny girls bundled up like miniature snowpeople—Firefly Lake’s future girls’ hockey players, according to their parents. “Ty wants to work toward his coaching certification, so I’m helping him.”

  “Okay.” Amy stared at her skates.

  “Is there a problem?” Luc studied her bent head and stiff stance.

  “It’s nothing to do with Ty.” Amy finally lifted her head. “But you can’t upset my mom. She gets upset really easy these days.” Her expression was earnest, defensive, and protective all in one.

  “I won’t upset her. I want to talk about that hockey camp for you.” He wanted to talk to Cat about a lot of other things, too—the small things as well as the big things that made up the fabric of everyday life and he’d gotten used to sharing with her. And now he missed.

  “Oh.” Amy’s voice warmed slightly.

  “Go on with Ty, but tell him if you get tired, okay?” Luc’s heart twisted. He cared for Cat, but even if they somehow took their relationship further, having a child with her wouldn’t ever be in the cards. He couldn’t take that risk again.

  “Hockey never makes me tired.” Amy gave him a real smile this time before she skated off to join Ty and the little girls.

  “Cat.” He glided to the boards. She sat in the first row of the bleachers with Pixie on her lap. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  “Sure.” Her face was whiter than her winter-white hat. “How’s Amy doing?”

  “Great. She’s such a trouper, she’ll be back to her usual fitness in no time.” He opened the gate, then sat beside her. “The hockey camp application’s almost ready. All you need to do is sign it and supply copies of Amy’s medical records. I left the package in reception with Stephanie.”

  “Thanks.” She coughed and her breath made a cloud in the cold air. “I appreciate you continuing to coach Amy and recommending her for the camp, too.”

  “Why wouldn’t I?” He reached over to rub Pixie’s ears and tried to smile. “Someday I expect to be known as the coach who discovered the next US women’s hockey star.”

  “A lot can happen between now and then.” Her voice was flat and her eyes were dull.

  “Of course, but there’s no harm in thinking big.” It wasn’t like Cat to not think positive. “What’s Pixie doing here?” At least the dog, in a pink coat trimmed with white faux fur, was her usual perky self.

  “Mom’s shopping in Burlington. Since Ward’s in Boston, I said I’d look after Pixie today. She’s Mom’s baby.” Her smile was faint.

  “I had Pixie in my office at the creamery yesterday when your mom was in Kincaid. I took her with me when I went out to check on my house, too.” Although Luc couldn’t put his finger on it, something was off with Gabrielle. She usually stuck close to Firefly Lake, but she’d been out of town two days in a row this week.

  “It’s great to see Mom happy and with so much energy.” Cat coughed again.

  “If you’ve got the cold that’s going around, this is the worst place for you. Go home and I’ll drop Amy off in an hour.”

  “Thanks, but I’m fine.” Cat straightened and fiddled with Pixie’s pink rhinestone collar.

  The hair on the back of Luc’s neck prickled. Cat wasn’t fine, and he had to get to the bottom of what was going on. He grabbed the clipboard he’d left on top of the boards and opened it. “I also want to talk to you about Amy’s scholarship application. I’ve filled out as much as I can, but there are two sections you need to complete.”

  She looked at the areas he’d flagged and a sneeze shook her slight frame. “I’ll fill these out tonight. I can leave this form with Stephanie tomorrow when I bring in the medical records.” She dug in her coat pocket for a tissue. “You really think Amy will get a scholarship?”

  “I don’t see why not.” He glanced toward the ice, where Amy was focused on a passing drill with Ty. “She has a special quality about her. I bet that after this camp a few scouts will show interest.”

  “She’s only twelve.” Cat’s voice held a hint of panic.

  “Kids start to get scouted around fourteen, but if and when that happens, you don’t have to handle it alone. I’ll help you.”

  “Thanks.” Cat held the dog close. “It looks like I’ll be staying in Firefly Lake for good. Michael offered me a partnership in the gallery. I’ve talked to Amy, and I’m going to accept.”

  “That’s great.” Luc raised an arm to hug her, then stopped. No public displays of affection, not even a friendly, innocent one. “Assuming the gallery�
�s what you want?”

  “When I first moved here, I’d have said no. But now… I guess you never know what’s around the bend.” She shrugged and gave a wry smile. “I like the work, and I like and respect Michael. It feels right. Besides, it’s best for Amy. Her confidence took a real blow with what some of the kids at school said, but now that the talk is starting to die down, I don’t want to move her again.” She hesitated. “We can be friends, and I need your help with Amy’s hockey, but as for anything else, I’m sorry.” She let out another hacking cough.

  Luc’s heart skipped a beat. Amy had to be the priority for now, but with Cat staying in Firefly Lake, he’d have plenty of time to convince her it was worth seeing where this thing between them might go. His gaze settled on the delectable curve of her mouth and, despite the cold, his palms started to sweat.

  “Did you see me, Mom?” Amy skidded to a stop on the other side of the boards. “I was faster than Ty.”

  “I’m sorry, honey, I missed it.” Cat didn’t look at him. “Can you do whatever it was you did again?”

  “I thought you were watching me.” Amy’s eyes narrowed. “I can’t do it again. I’m tired and hungry.” Her voice had the hint of a whine.

  “Then there’s fruit and a muffin in your backpack.” Cat’s tone was firm. “Coach Luc and I were talking about your hockey camp application. I can’t watch you every minute.”

  “Was that all you were talking about?” Amy’s voice was sulky, and she gave Luc a challenging stare.

  “Amy, you know that isn’t acceptable. You’ll be polite and respectful to your coach and to me. Otherwise—”

  “I get it, okay?” Amy made a little girl face and cracked her knuckles.

  “I don’t think you do, so we’ll talk about consequences of that behavior when we get home.” Cat’s tone was calm and resolute.