Finding Carrie

by C. E. Snyder

  “I know, I know, but can’t she play another part?” Sierra asked, bringing her arms down, crossing them, and leaning on them.

  “Maybe,” Amy said, turning to look at her with a smile, “but that is the most important part. Don’t you think she feels the same way when you are working on your lines?”

  “Well, maybe, but at least I’m not loud about it,” Sierra said, sighing. Amy turned back to Carrie to put the finishing touches on her face. All the while Carrie was silently listening to Amy and Sierra talking.

  “What show?” Carrie asked.

  “Sabrina’s recital” Amy said. “You are going tomorrow, right.”

  “Oh, that is right, I remember Isaac talking to you, Sierra, the other day. I must have forgotten,” Carrie explained.

  “Well, I’m finished. How does she look?” Amy asked, stepping out of the way of Sierra’s view of her mother.

  Sierra bent her elbows up on the table and rested her chin on her hands. “Mom, you look very pretty.”

  “Thank you, Sierra,” Carrie said. Amy removed the sheet from around Carrie. Carrie stood up and fixed her dress.

  “I really like your dress,” Sierra said. Sabrina had stopped playing and came out to the kitchen.

  “I do too, Mom,” Sabrina said. Carrie looked up at her other daughter, who had startled her. “Oh, and your face. I can’t see the cuts and the bruises anymore.” Carrie put her fingers on her face at her mouth where one of the cuts was.

  “Go look at yourself in the mirror,” Amy told her. Carrie looked at her with wide eyes and went down the hall to the bathroom. She walked into the room with her head down and stepped in front of the sink. Amy and both girls followed her. She slowly raised her head but closed her eyes. Amy laughed. “Carrie, open your eyes.” She did, slowly lifting her lashes to see her face. She gasped. She didn’t see one bruise or cut, just a smooth skin, the way it was supposed to look. She touched her face with her fingertips again.

  “I can’t believe you covered them up,” she said, turning to look at Amy. “Do you think Isaac’s going to like it?” she asked, dropping her hand to her side.

  “Of course he will. Why would you ask that?” Amy asked with her head slightly tilted. “He loves you for who you are, not what you look like. He will think you look beautiful.” Carrie turned to look back at herself in the mirror.

  “It’s just that I haven’t looked too pretty lately,” Carrie explained.

  “That is nonsense, and you know it. Carrie, you are a naturally beautiful person. You shine even in your worst hour,” Amy said as the door buzzer went off. She looked out toward the hall. “I bet you that is the car. I’ll go answer it. Sabrina, can you get your Mom’s bag off the bed? Carrie, don’t worry. It will all work out,” she said as she and Sabrina left the bathroom. Sierra followed Amy to the living room. Carrie looked at herself one last time in the mirror and left the bathroom.

  She walked into the living room, where Amy and the girls were waiting. “The car is here. We will walk you out,” Amy said as Sabrina handed Carrie the small blue bag.

  “Oh, are you going to stay with the girls?” Carrie asked in a slight panic.

  “Yes, of course I am,” Amy said, opening the door. The girls went out to the hall. Carrie and Amy left also and Amy shut the door behind her. They all went to the stairs and slowly walked down them. All the while, Carrie’s mind was working overtime. She couldn’t help but wonder about what Isaac’s reaction would be when he saw her. First, she thought about a bad reaction: Oh no, you can’t look like that, what would everyone say. Shaking her head to that thought she thought about a good reaction. He might say oh my, gosh, you look amazing. She was hoping for that reaction with every cell in her body. She reached the outside and saw the car parked at the curb. It was a black town car with a male driver who had a black over coat and a hat on his head. Amy went over to the man as if she knew him. She probably did, but Carrie certainly didn’t know who he was. Amy then came back over to her, and the man opened the back door.

  “This is Nick, your driver,” she said, gesturing with her hand at the man. “He is going to take you to the theater. Once you get there, there will be a girl named Angela, I think. She is an usher, and Isaac has asked her to take care of you tonight since you don’t remember your way around.”

  “All right,” Carrie said, walking to the car. The driver tipped his hat at her.

  “Good evening, Mrs. Walsch. You’re looking lovely tonight,” he said as she stepped down and sat down in the car.

  “Thank you, Nick,” she said. He smiled at her and closed the door. He turned and looked at the three girls still standing on the curb. He tipped his hat at them and smiled.

  “Good evening, ladies,” he said as walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat. Amy and the twins watched the car drive away. Amy put her arms around the girls and looked each one in the face.

  “How would you feel about watching a movie and eating popcorn?” Amy asked.

  “Yeah, that sounds good, but can we get pizza too?” Sabrina asked.

  “Yeah, from Nick’s, and I want mushrooms” Sierra said.

  “Yuck. I want pepperoni,” Sabrina said.

  “Sure we can, and we can get pepperoni and mushrooms,” Amy said, laughing.

  “I don’t want any mushrooms on my pizza,” Sabrina said as they went back in the building.

  “Okay, I won’t get any mushrooms on your side.” Amy laughed as the door shut.

  Chapter 16

  Carrie sat in the back of the car, twisting the purse strap around her fingers. She didn’t notice how tight it was; her heart was doing flips in her chest. The closer she got the theater, the more pressure she felt in her chest. It wasn’t as though it was the first time she saw him, but it felt like it was. She could see the theater now, and she twisted the strap tighter around her fingers. As the car stopped by the curb, she finally looked down at her hands. The strap was wrung around her fingers so tight that they were almost transparent. The driver opened the door for her as she unwrapped her fingers. They were numb and tingly as the blood rushed back into them.

  She stepped out of the car, and the driver tipped his hat. “Mr. Walsch said to be back about one. Is that correct?” She shrugged and smiled.

  “I guess so, if that is what he said. I’ll see you then,” she said as she stood in the front of the building. She looked up at the sign. It said, The Animal Show Starring: Isaac Walsch and Nikki Powers. She didn’t know who Nikki Powers was, but she felt proud to see her husband’s name on that sign. She stood there looking around as the car drove away. She saw huge pictures of a cat in orange fur and somehow thought that might be Isaac. She just stood there for a while. She heard the sound of someone coughing.

  “Excuse me, Mrs. Walsch; I’m Amanda. Mr. Walsch asked me to show you around,” she said. She had known Carrie for as long as she worked at the theater.

  “Yes, he told me that that you would help me,” Carrie said as she started to walk up the stairs. “I’m sorry you have to help me. I’m sure we know each other, but I can’t remember anything. Is Isaac ready for the show?”

  “It is quite fine. I don’t have to do anything but help you, and I’m sure he is. He wants you to go backstage,” Amanda said as she opened the door. Carrie saw the ticket takers and realized that she didn’t have a ticket.

  “I don’t have a ticket,” she announced, tugging on Amanda’s arm. She laughed a little and sighed.

  “You don’t need one. You’re the star’s wife,” Amanda said, walking past the ticket takers. Carrie followed her, smiling at them as she slipped in. She walked past a few people who were dressed up and sipping drinks at the bar. The bartender waved at her as she walked by. She didn’t know who he was, so she just waved back. She walked by ushers who waved at her. She waved back and kept walking. Amanda led her through a few doors before they were in a hallway that looked run down. They walked past a door that was half open, and a woman’s voice came out. She heard the voic
e clearly.

  “I’m going to get him, I promise you that. She will never remember him, and Isaac will be mine. I’ll be Mrs. Isaac Walsch, not her,” the voice said. Amanda stopped abruptly. Carrie almost ran into to her as she looked in the room.

  “This way, Mrs. Walsch,” Amanda said loudly, starting to walk again.

  Carrie waited a few moments before she asked, “Was she talking about me and my husband?”

  Amanda stopped just outside another door with a star on it. She turned and looked Carrie in the face. Her eyes had apology in them. “Yes, she was, but you have nothing to worry about. Isaac made it clear the other day that he loves you and wanted nothing to do with her. I don’t know why she would think she had a chance. You and Isaac’s love is one to be jealous over. No one would dare to come between you two, no one, Mrs. Walsch, unless they are insane. Clearly, she is. I’m sorry you heard that,” she said as she knocked on the door. She opened it slightly and called in, “Isaac, I have Carrie here.”

  “Okay, come in,” Isaac said from inside the room. Amanda pushed the door open farther and allowed Carrie to go in ahead of her. Carrie stepped in the room, clutching the purse again and looking at the floor. She heard Isaac take a deep breath. She looked up at him slowly. What she saw was a cat in orange fur just like the picture outside. She couldn’t help herself; she laughed.

  “You’re a cat,” she said. He smiled, but what he saw when she walked in was his gorgeous wife. She took his breath away. She was dressed in a new blue dress. He just loved blue on her. It made her eyes glow. He walked over to her, and his hand twisted around one of the curls that dangled down the side of her face. He bent down and kissed her temple, leaving a mark on her face. He would have kissed her mouth, but he was covered in makeup. He picked up a cloth, wiped the mark off, and fixed her makeup.

  “Yes, and you look—um—amazing,” he said. He didn’t want to look anywhere but into her blue eyes. She looked up at him and smiled. She put her hand on his head and pretended to scratch his ears. He rolled his eyes up as if he was enjoying it. She laughed again then settled her hand his arm. Her other hand came up to her face and touched her lip.

  “Amy’s a miracle worker,” Carrie said. Then Carrie suddenly remembered what she had heard in the hall, and she let her head drop to the floor along with her arms. Isaac was suddenly confused.

  “What is it?” he asked, grabbing her upper arms and looking at Amanda, who was looking at the floor too. “What is going on?” Amanda lifted her head and looked at Carrie before she looked at Isaac.

  “We were walking past Nikki’s dressing room, and we overheard her talking,” Amanda said, then looked down again. Isaac lifted Carrie’s chin and saw tears threatening to spill out.

  “What did you hear her say?” he asked, looking down at Carrie. His words were directed to Amanda. She didn’t answer right away; she just lifted her head again. “What did she say, Amanda?” Isaac asked.

  “She said that Carrie will never remember you and she’s going to be Mrs. Isaac Walsch, not her,” Amanda said very quickly. He pulled Carrie into his arms and looked at Amanda. She got the hint to leave them alone for a minute. “I’ll be back to show her to her seat,” she said as she left the room.

  “I’m sorry that you had to hear that. It is not true and will never be true. I’m in love with you and only you. I will never leave you for anything. I love you,” he said as he framed her face in his hands. A single tear ran down her face. He caught it before it could ruin her beautiful makeup. “I know you know that deep down somewhere.” She sniffed and nodded.

  “I do know that, Isaac, but it hurt all the same. I want to remember more than anything in the world. You have been so kind, loving, and caring. I can’t help but feel the way I do.” She smiled looking to the side. “I have to confess, I was nervous coming here. I twisted the strap of my purse so tight around my finger. Look, I still have marks.” She lifted her fingers so he could see them. He took her fingers and pressed kisses on each of the marks. He took her hand, turned it so her palm was up, and he pressed a kiss in the center of it. He folded her fingers in so she could hold that kiss. She pressed her hand over her heart. She looked up at him and smiled at him again.

  “Hold that kiss for me. I may need it later,” he said as he kissed her temple again. Then Amanda knocked at the door.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked as she slowly walked in. “It’s almost curtain time.”

  “Yes, everything is fine,” he said. Then to Carrie he said, “I will see you on the stage.”

  “Okay, good luck,” she said with an eyebrow raised. “Is that something good to say?” He smiled and nodded, and she left the room with Amanda.

  Amanda showed Carrie to her seat. Carrie looked at the seat and at the stage and then looked back at Amanda. “Amanda, this is my seat?” she asked with suspicion. Amanda giggled under her hand that she was using to cover up her smile.

  “Yes, Mrs. Walsch, it is. You always prefer to sit front and center to see your husband,” Amanda said, dropping her hand. Carrie nodded and took her seat. Amanda handed Carrie a program. Carrie opened it, and on the first page was a picture of Isaac. When she saw the picture, tingles went down from the top of her head to her toes; she got a warm feeling in her gut. It was a feeling of pride. This was her husband, and she was falling in love with him. The picture made him more gorgeous than any other picture they had in the apartment. She smiled to herself as she dropped her arms to her lap and looked up at the stage. She was so wrapped up into thinking about Isaac that she didn’t notice anyone in the huge auditorium.

  “Hello, Mrs. Walsch. I’m so glad that you are okay. I heard about your attack, and I was worried about you,” said the woman who was sitting to the right of Carrie. Carrie didn’t come out of the trance she was in. She heard the name Mrs. Walsch and for the first time since she woke up days earlier, she felt it in her heart that she was Mrs. Walsch, and she really wanted to be Mrs. Walsch. As the realization sank into her that she loved Isaac with everything she had, she turned to the woman who had just spoken to her, her eyes wide.

  “I am Mrs. Walsh, aren’t I?” Carrie asked not really looking at her, but her eyes appeared to be looking at her. She was still in her trance and seeing Isaac’s face.

  “Why yes, you are, dear,” the women said, looking at Carrie like she was crazy. “Are you all right?” Carrie focused on the woman; she smiled.

  “Of course I am. I had a head injury, and I have amnesia, but I realized at this very moment that I am in love with the man who told me that he was my husband. I’m not sure if I always loved him or if I just fell back in love with him, but I do I love him,” Carrie said, smiling at the woman. The woman was trying to smile back but was leaning away from her. The woman relaxed and laid a hand on Carrie’s arm.

  “Yes, you are, dear, and I have never seen anyone in love with each other as you are with Mr. Walsch. I have never spent any time with him. You are always talking about him,” she said.

  “I do. I love him; I have to tell him,” Carrie said. She stood up, and the lights went out. She sat back down and smiled at the woman. “Well, maybe after the show.” She laughed and the music started.

  The music played for a long while before a cat came on stage. The cat had orange fur and did a somersault before it crawled over to the center of the stage and laid down right in front of where Carrie was sitting. The cat looked right at her and winked. She realized that the cat was Isaac. She blushed and smiled as she tilted her head down. He began to talk. She watched in awe as many other cats came on stage and sang. Mainly, she was watching Isaac. She had no idea that he was so talented or how beautiful his voice was. She loved his voice but hadn’t heard him sing before. Well, maybe she had, but she didn’t remember.

  “Good-bye,” she told the lady next to her after the play ended. “I hope that next time I have my memory back and I can remember you,” she said with laughter in her voice. The woman looked at her with a smile.

  “I hope
so too.” The woman turned and left. Carrie just sat in her seat, waiting for Amanda to come and get her. She stood up to stretch her legs and looked toward the back of the room. The room was clearing out fast, and Amanda would be there soon. The room was huge and beautiful. It looked like it was built in the Victorian age, and it was preserved well.

  What? She thought to herself. Why would I think that? I don’t even know what the Victorian Age is. As she was thinking, Amanda appeared to her side.

  “Are you ready to go back?” Amanda asked.

  “Yes,” Carrie said with wonderment in her voice. As Amanda walked, she looked at Carrie over her shoulder.

  “Are you all right? You sound different,” she said.

  “Yes, I’m all right. When I looked at Isaac’s picture in the program, I don’t know, I think I realized that I love him,” Carrie said, watching the floor as they walked through the door.

  “Oh, I see,” Amanda said, holding the second door for her. “Well, of course you love him. Anyone can see that.” Carrie didn’t say anything; she just followed Amanda to Isaac’s dressing room. “I’ll leave you here. I will see you later.”

  “Thank you, Amanda. I really appreciate your help,” Carrie said. Amanda nodded and walked away. Carrie watched her disappear before she went in the room. She knocked before she pushed open the door.

  “Come in,” she heard Isaac say. She pushed the door all the way open and just stood in the doorway. Isaac was wearing black dress pants and a light-blue dress shirt. It wasn’t buttoned, and he didn’t have anything under the shirt. He was washing his face off. He turned to look at her. His hair was damp, and he looked sexier than she had ever seen him before. “Hello,” he said. “You look more beautiful than I remember.” Carrie walked in the room and slowly closed the door behind her. She slowly stepped to stand right in front of him; she smiled. He narrowed his eyes and looked up and down her body. She raised her arms and wrapped them around his neck. She rose up on her tippy toes and leaned forward to kiss him. She leaned back and searched his eyes for a response. He smiled and rested his forehead on hers. She closed her eyes.