Second Chances at the Log Fire Cabin

by Catherine Ferguson

  I glance at her to see if she’s joking but she actually looks worried.

  Next second, the passenger door opens and an older woman with amazing, copper-coloured hair staggers out. ‘For fuck’s sake, Ruby! And you know I don’t normally swear!’ She flumps against the side of the car and stares at the sky for a moment as if offering up a prayer for the miracle of still being alive.

  ‘Oh, chill out, Mum,’ grins Ruby. ‘You didn’t expect me to drive at a steady thirty miles an hour, did you? Where’s the fun in that?’

  ‘No, but I didn’t expect the bloody wheels to actually leave the ground when we went over those humps back there!’ She pushes herself away from the car. ‘Christ, I need a drink!’

  ‘Hi, Gloria. Great to see you both.’ Poppy walks over and Gloria perks up. Poppy does the introductions, trying in the process to hug Ruby, who squirms deftly away from her.

  ‘Thank goodness. Some sane, normal people,’ Gloria remarks, giving the side of Poppy’s face a little tweak and smiling at me. ‘Not like my daughter, whose main hobby seems to be scaring me half out of my wits.’

  ‘You’re already half out of your wits, Mum, so what would be the point?’ quips Ruby. She turns to Poppy and says in a loud stage whisper, ‘Mum’s started going through the Big M and it’s turned her a bit weird.’

  ‘Ruby!’ Gloria glares at her, wafting her leopard print scarf vigorously in front of her face as her cheeks bloom with a ruddy glow.

  Ruby grins. ‘Can we go in? Has Uncle Bob arrived yet?’

  I’m relieved to be in the kitchen with Poppy all afternoon, away from the possibility of bumping into Jackson again. Although with Ruby popping in every now and again for a cold drink or a gingerbread Santa, the kitchen is no longer the peaceful place it’s been since I arrived.

  ‘That girl will drive me utterly batty!’ mutters Gloria when she comes in to make yet another cup of her strong black coffee. ‘She’s at drama college, Roxy, and she’s decided she wants to be a stunt person in films.’

  Poppy turns to me. ‘Bob’s an architect and he designed this really smart five-storey office block – and Ruby frightened Gloria to death by deciding to abseil down the front of it as a publicity stunt.’

  Gloria groans. ‘Oh, don’t remind me. My heart was in my mouth. She was only sixteen.’

  Poppy laughs. ‘But the pictures in the newspaper were great.’

  ‘What’s that? Talking about me again?’ Ruby walks in, glued to her phone and followed by Sophie.

  ‘It’s all good,’ I reassure Ruby. ‘I was hearing about your abseiling.’

  She frowns. ‘That’s kids’ stuff. I really want to try tombstoning but Mum nearly had a heart attack when I suggested it.’

  Gloria fixes her with a glare. ‘Don’t you ever …’

  Ruby sighs, flinging open the fridge. ‘Is there any cider? No, Mum, I’m not going to do the tombstoning thing. I’m actually not that stupid, believe it or not. Too many people have met grisly deaths.’

  ‘Tombstoning? What on earth is that?’ asks Sophie.

  ‘Oh, jumping off cliffs into the sea,’ says Ruby. She stares at Sophie. ‘Is your skin actually that smooth or is it down to cosmetics?’

  Sophie gives a smug smile. ‘It’s mostly down to the healthy diet and exercise programme I’m developing. I’m going to write a book about it.’

  ‘A book? Wow.’ Ruby nods, looking impressed. ‘I like to swim.’

  Sophie nods approvingly. ‘Swimming is excellent exercise. One of the best, in fact.’ She frowns. ‘Gloria, older women shouldn’t drink coffee that strong. Especially if they’re going through the menopause and, judging by those horrendous hot flushes, it’s clear that you are. You should give it up immediately and drink chamomile tea instead.’

  Gloria finishes stirring two heaped teaspoons of sugar into her coffee and takes a sip, raising the cup to Sophie. ‘Well, you know what? Bugger that. There’s precious few joys in life as it is. Why on earth would I start giving them up just because I’m getting older?’

  ‘Because it shows in your face?’ Sophie runs her fingers from her nose to her chin. ‘You have lines here that make you look far older than you probably are, Gloria, and that’s partly because your skin is completely dehydrated.’

  There’s an awkward silence as everyone tries not to look at Gloria’s lines.

  Even Ruby seems dumbstruck for once.

  Poppy laughs. ‘Gosh, it sounds like you’re starting your presentation already, Sophie!’

  Sophie ignores her. ‘Caffeine’s really bad for deep lines, Gloria. You need to drink more water to plump out the wrinkles. Especially around your eyes, where the skin is paper thin and more prone to the ravages of time.’ She shrugs. ‘It would help you lose weight, too.’

  ‘Really? Well, thank you, Sophie,’ says Gloria smoothly. ‘Maybe I will drink more water. Now, any chance of a mince pie, Poppy, love?’

  ‘Of course.’ Poppy loads some on a plate and starts handing them round, just as Ryan walks in.

  ‘Anyone seen Clem?’ His eyes light up. ‘Ooh, mince pies.’

  Poppy laughs. ‘How is it that you always arrive at the exact moment food is being served!’

  Ryan grins. ‘I’ve got a nose for stodge.’

  Everyone takes a mince pie, except Sophie who gives her head a distasteful little shake.

  ‘What presentation are you doing, Sophie?’ asks Ruby, looking fascinated, in between munches.

  Sophie flicks back her hair. ‘I’m writing a health and beauty book and I did offer to give a talk on the content, but I get the feeling no one’s very keen.’

  ‘Oh.’ Ruby studies Sophie thoughtfully for a moment. ‘Well, I’d love to hear your talk,’ she says.

  Sophie blinks at Ruby. ‘Oh. Well, in that case, I’ll do it.’

  Poppy catches my eye and we exchange a grimace.

  ‘Great!’ Ruby sticks up her thumb. ‘Wow, and you’re writing a book? How cool is that?’

  Sophie shrugs. ‘Well, I do happen to be editor-in-chief of one of the country’s most trend-setting publications. I really ought to be able to write.’ She gives a modest, tinkly laugh.

  Ruby frowns. ‘Hang on. You’re Sophie Fairfax? Editor of Dazzle magazine?’

  Sophie gives a little nod, at which point Ruby’s mouth hangs open with amazement.

  The door opens and Clemmy bursts in, panting. Her cheeks are red with the cold and there are huge sweat patches under the sleeves of her pink sweatshirt, despite the chill of the day outside.

  ‘Hi, Gloria! Ruby! Bob’s just arrived – and he says he wants to throw an engagement party for us, Ryan! Isn’t that lovely of him?’

  I can’t help a worried glance at Poppy. But she smiles and says, ‘Fab! Roxy and I will do the food.’

  Clemmy shakes her head. ‘You don’t need to, Poppy. There’s this amazing place called “The Enchanted Forest” that’s opened a few miles from here. It’s really magical and romantic at night, apparently. All fairy lights in the trees and that kind of thing. Bob knows the owner and he’s going to book a function room there for the party. Won’t that be brilliant? I was thinking fancy dress would be fun.’

  Ruby, who’s been studying Sophie thoughtfully ever since her lecture to Gloria on premature ageing, hops off the stool. ‘Sounds good. I’ll go as Evel Knievel.’

  Clemmy’s face falls. ‘Oh, I was hoping we could dress up as our favourite movie and we all have to guess who we are.’

  Ruby grins. ‘You and Ryan could go as Beauty and the Beast.’

  ‘Hey, you!’ grins Ryan, pretending to box her ears.

  ‘I don’t think Evel Knievel starred in any movies,’ murmurs Ruby. ‘I suppose I could go as Wonder Woman instead.’

  ‘As long as you don’t go leaping off any tall buildings,’ warns Gloria. ‘Or any buildings at all, come to that.’

  ‘Who will you go as, Sophie?’ asks Ruby.

  ‘Well, I’m not sure.’

  Ruby frowns for a second, thinking,
then she points at Sophie. ‘Elsa from Frozen,’ she says decisively.

  ‘I’ll go as Pretty Woman – the early days,’ says Gloria gloomily. ‘She prances around with not much on at the beginning, so I’ll be able to keep the hot flushes to a minimum.’

  ‘I’ll disown you if you do that,’ frowns Ruby. ‘And anyway, you look nothing like Julia Roberts.’

  ‘Thanks, darling daughter.’

  Ruby heads for the door with her phone attached to her ear. ‘Chloe?’ she says as she wanders out. ‘The oldies are throwing a fancy dress engagement party. Yes, Clemmy and Ryan got engaged. Oh, and guess who’s staying here? You’ll actually never guess so I’ll have to tell you. Only the editor of Dazzle magazine!’

  I hear the front door opening and I find myself straining to listen.

  Ruby’s voice drifts through. ‘Oh, hi, Uncle Bob. And you must be Jackson. They’re all in the kitchen.’

  My heart leaps into my throat. I can’t face Jackson right now – especially not with Sophie in the room.

  But when they come into the kitchen, Poppy and Gloria immediately start greeting Bob, who’s just driven up from London, while Jackson joins Sophie.

  ‘Roxy, this is Jed’s Uncle Bob,’ says Poppy. ‘He and Jed are partners in the business. Bob, Roxy is my own personal Christmas angel. She pretty much saved my life by agreeing to help out.’

  Bob gives me a warm smile and shakes my hand. ‘Did she indeed? Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Roxy.’

  I smile shyly at Poppy’s fulsome praise.

  Bob seems lovely. He’s a bit older than Gloria – in his sixties – but despite the greying hair, he seems a lot younger than his years, probably because he exudes a lovely lively energy. Poppy told me that Gloria got divorced five years ago and met Bob a little over a year ago in her home town of Newcastle when she was on a night out with ‘the girls’. Bob was in the same pub having a drink after a business meeting. They couldn’t be more different, according to Poppy, but the relationship seems to be working.

  In the chat that follows, Jackson and Sophie are drawn into the introductions – and with a sigh of relief, I duck out of the kitchen and escape to my room.

  Chapter 15

  I fling myself down on the bed and lie there, staring up at the lamp shade.

  Thoughts and feelings are haring around inside my head like a whirligig dryer on a windy day.

  Ever since Jackson confessed his feelings for me on the ice earlier, my insides have been in total uproar. I never thought I’d hear him say he regretted losing me.

  I’d imagined it so many times in my head: Jackson realising he’d made a big mistake and begging me to give him another chance. And in those imagined scenarios, I’d always taken him back. Because everyone deserves a second chance.

  But how would I feel if he actually finished with Sophie to be with me?

  Now, staring up at the ceiling, I’m realising the answer to that question is nowhere near as straightforward as I thought it would be.

  Am I just using my guilt over Sophie as an excuse to keep holding back from a proper, full-on relationship with Jackson? The way I dreamed up excuses all the time when we were a couple so I could avoid getting too close?

  I did with Jackson what I’ve always done in relationships.

  I told myself it was too early to have sex; that I wanted to wait at least three months before being properly intimate with him, because, then, the relationship would have a much better chance of lasting.

  Hot tears well up.

  Who the hell was I fooling? It was all just an excuse.

  It’s time I faced up to the painful truth: even though I was devastated when it all went wrong with Jackson, there was a tiny part of me that was actually relieved when we went our separate ways.

  Because it took away the biggest fear of all …

  My gorgeous dog, Gus, came into my life when I was twelve.

  As an only child, living in a little seaside hamlet three miles from the nearest village, I led a fairly solitary existence. I had some good friends but seeing them after school was difficult, and I think Mum and Dad thought a dog would be good company for me.

  From the moment they brought two-year-old Gus the Border terrier home from the shelter, I loved him with my whole heart. We bonded instantly. He was the best friend a girl could have and he went everywhere with me.

  On that fateful night – the night when everything changed forever – I was staying over at Flo’s house. It was early September and Flo’s family were having a barbecue. They’d invited around fifty guests, including some of our old friends from school, and I took Gus along with me. It was my nineteenth birthday and I remember being really excited because I’d just been accepted onto an accountancy training course with a big firm, based in London. I’d be starting with them later that month, and I’d arranged to stay in London during the week and travel home at weekends. I knew I’d really miss Gus so I wanted to make the most of the time I had left before London beckoned.

  I remember we had a great night. All our friends were buzzing with a mix of excitement and apprehension about their future, me and Flo included. It seemed we were all on the threshold of a brand new life.

  If I’d known what that would entail for me, I wouldn’t have been quite so gung-ho and happy.

  Everyone had gone by midnight. I helped clear up, then Flo’s mum made tea and we all went to bed.

  The fire broke out in the early hours of the morning.

  I was in a deep sleep and woke to the sound of Flo banging on my door and calling my name.

  As soon as I opened the door, I could smell the blaze. But I froze for a second, still half-inhabiting the world of dreams. Perhaps this was a dream?

  Then Flo shouted, ‘Come on, we need to get out!’ She reached for my arm and pulled me over the threshold. And her terrified expression galvanised me into action.

  A bolt of panic surged up inside me as I stumbled after Flo, down the stairs. Smoke was already drifting up to the first floor and we were both coughing as we reached the front door and ran out into the safety of the garden.

  A second later, though, when I stood in the garden and saw the flames licking the side of the house, a bolt of shock punched through me.

  Gus!

  I glanced wildly around me but there was no sign of him, so I shouted for him.

  Nothing.

  My heart in my mouth, I stared at the burning building, knowing deep down what I could barely acknowledge to myself.

  Gus must be still in the house.

  Before anyone could stop me, I raced for the front door and ran along the hall, calling his name frantically and looking in every room along the way. The door to the kitchen was wide open, the fire raging within. The crackle and smell of it chilled me to the bone but I knew that if Gus had been in there he’d have run out by now. So at least he was safe. I was about to go and search for him upstairs when I heard a noise.

  It was so faint above the harsh crackle of the fire. But I heard it.

  The breath caught in my throat.

  Gus was in the little utility room! No doubt on the hunt for dog biscuits, he must have got trapped!

  I hesitated for just a second. Then, spotting a route by the window that hadn’t yet been ignited by the flames, I took my chance and dived through. I wrenched open the door to the utility room, gasping with pain as the flesh of my hand met the blistering metal of the handle.

  Gus bolted out, barking, and disappeared into the flames.

  I screamed out his name in a panic, and at that moment, I was knocked to the floor by something heavy. I landed on my front and the burning object fell on my back. Pain seared through me. A pain like nothing I’d ever felt before. My clothes were on fire and in my state of shock I was fighting to get the thing off me, not knowing what it was, pushing at it even while the searing pain made me scream in agony.

  Even when at last I managed to roll away, onto my back to try and put out the flames, I was unwittingly throwing mysel
f closer to the heart of the fire. The intense agony and blazing heat had reached an unbearable pitch.

  I just remember a dark shape running in and shouting my name.

  And then everything went black.

  I remember waking up and feeling panicky because I was trapped. I cried out and tried to move but I couldn’t. Faces hovered over me. One of them, a young woman with dark hair, kept saying my name and telling me it was all right and just to lie still. I’d been in an accident and I was in hospital. But things would be okay.

  I knew something bad had happened but my head was swimming – due to the medication, I found out later – and I felt as if I was reaching into a thick fog desperately trying to reclaim scraps of memory. The painkillers I was on were very strong and dulled more than the physical agony of the burns.

  But I remembered stumbling after Flo down the stairs. Watching the fire. Trying to get to Gus. Letting him out of the utility room and shouting at him when he ran towards the blaze …

  ‘Gus!’

  What had happened to Gus? I needed to get to him but I couldn’t move for these stupid bandages wrapped so tightly around my arm and shoulder.

  The brown-haired nurse was there in a trice.

  ‘My dog. What happened to my dog?’ I pleaded.

  She frowned. ‘Your dog? I don’t know, Roxy. But we can ask your parents.’

  ‘Where are they? Mum and Dad?’ It suddenly occurred to me that they weren’t here with me. Why was that? ‘And Billy?’

  ‘Shh, it’s okay. Just relax,’ soothed the nurse. ‘They’re waiting outside. They’ll be in to see you soon.’

  ‘But I want to see them now. They can tell me about Gus,’ I wailed.

  I think the drugs must have knocked me out again. But when I woke, Mum was sitting by the bed. She looked grey and tired, as if she’d aged ten years overnight. ‘Roxy,’ she whispered, and a tear ran down her cheek as she leaned towards me and gently held my hand.

  Seeing Mum, tears started slipping down my face, too. ‘Is Gus all right?’

  My heart was in my mouth as I said it, and the relief when she nodded was overwhelming.

  She smiled. ‘The little rascal must have been terrified, shut away in the utility room. When you let him out, he shot straight outside, bless him. Flo’s dad said he was like a bullet out of a gun!’