The Haunted Onsen

by Phil Gabriel

  After several minutes, it was apparent that Akiko also did not understand. She ended up shaking her head in incomprehension.

  “OK, I understand,” said Kitty-Sue. “Let’s stick with the practical. Why does Koji-san have to do all of those dance steps to work a spell? I’ve seen you do your hocus-pocus without getting off your ass.”

  “Ah, that’s a good question,” I said. “Ritualists have to move to capture the flows, no, threads is a better word, the threads of the five elements of magic. Most magicians, even those of us who can see the threads, still need to move to capture the energy.”

  “So why don’t you dance?” she asked.

  “Magicians like Akiko and me here,” I said, “have the ability to influence the flows of magic. To make them come to us.”

  A skill I had learned by necessity in a Vietnamese POW camp. When you’re tied down to a torture slab, moving to the magic isn’t an option.

  “So, you make the mojo come to you,” she said.

  “Yes,” I said, “more or less. Remember, describing magic, even to another magician, is like the old story of the blind men describing an elephant. Each of us views magic a different way.”

  “OK,” said Kitty-Sue, “next subject. This healing and rejuvenation thing. It makes no sense to me. After you had been aged fighting Jorōgumo, it took you months to get back to your young self. But I saw you rejuvenate those two witches in New York in less than an hour. How come sometimes it takes hours, and other times it takes months?”

  I nodded to Akiko to explain; she and I had had a similar conversation. “It’s a matter of objectivity,” she said. “A healer working from the outside can work quickly because we can freeze? Halt? Stop the body of the patient. This allows us to make massive changes. Scott-sensei did that to Monica in Las Vegas.

  “However,” she continued, “working from within is much more difficult. Halting a process in your body will also halt the brain. It would be like trying to debug a computer program while it’s running.”

  “Or trying to tune up a car engine while driving down the freeway,” I said.

  “OK,” said Kitty-Sue. “I don’t expect to understand this completely. But I’ve seen you rejuvenate others, why couldn’t you just rejuvenate Koji-san?”

  “Give a man a rejuvenation,” I said, “and he gets younger. Teach a man to rejuvenate, and he can stay young for centuries. Teaching Koji-san this technique will make him a powerful ally. The other Ritualists will flock to him to learn his techniques and use his charts.

  “Plus, it would take a lot of the energy I’ve stored up to rejuvenate him. Remember, to heal Monica, I took five years of her husband’s life energy. I don’t see anybody here willing to donate a portion of their life force for Koji-san.”

  “OK,” said Kitty-Sue, “I’ve enjoyed the time here.” Indicating the impressive spread, she took a small sip of her wine. “And the accommodations are nice. But is all this work with Koji-san getting us any closer to stopping the ghost samurai?”

  “Closer, yes,” I said. “I don’t have any way to attack the samurai directly. Once he accepts the armor, I hope I can compel him to keep his promise. We needed to work with Koji-san to get access to the onsen. I needed to update the map so we can use it to divine the location of the rest of the armor. We need the armor to complete the deal with the samurai.”

  “You know he’ll try to break the deal,” said Kitty-Sue, crossing her arms. “He’s a rōnin. A warrior who rebelled against his master, a traitor. He cannot be trusted.”

  “I have a plan,” I said. “If everything works out, we’ll be able to exorcise him.”

  “If,” said Kitty-Sue in a chill tone.

  Fifteen minutes later, Koji came into the restaurant. His step was lighter, his pace quicker, and he had a smile on his face. A look under his illusion showed some improvements already. A few new hairs were growing, and he had lost some wrinkles. He still had a long way to go, but he was on his way to a complete rejuvenation.

  He joined us at the table and accepted a glass of our wine. As I poured, he said, “I’d like to talk about the old map. It is of no use to you, but could be effectively used as a training aid by my fellow Ritualists.”

  “So, you’re saying it’s valuable?” asked Kitty-Sue with a sly grin.

  “Yes,” I responded before Koji could answer, “it’s very valuable. Koji-san, what are you prepared to offer for this map?”

  “It’s my family’s map,” he said. “It should stay with me.”

  “Sorry, my friend,” I said. “We’ve already made a deal for the old map.”

  Much more sensitive to Japanese emotions than me, Akiko said, “He wants the map badly. He might do something to block our mission.” She put a finger to her chin in thought. “The map isn’t that valuable to us. Is there anything else you could need from him to allow him to trade without losing face?”

  At that moment, a waiter appeared and proffered the bill. Damn, I had neglected to include meals and room service in my deal with Koji. Five years of free lodging in the onsen suite was wonderful, but a guy had to eat and have the occasional nip.

  I admired the cheap bastard. He was tricky. I had given him the ability to get his youth back and he charged me ten thousand yen for a bottle of wine. But, it gave me an idea.

  Looking at the bill, I took a deep breath and set it on the table between us. “Koji-san, my friend,” I said. “With your new spell chart you will be a famous sensei. Ritualists will flock to you to sit at your feet and learn from you.”

  Koji-san smiled, but it wasn’t genuine. He knew when he was being buttered up.

  “It occurs to me,” I continued, “that your teachings could be best propagated by using the older chart, reserving the use of the more potent chart in your office for only a select few.” Or him alone.

  Koji-san nodded. If he could keep the old chart, he could use it to teach spells, with a one-in-one-thousand probability of success, and still keep the better chart a secret. Magicians love secrets.

  “Now,” I said, “it occurs to me that I and my guests, of which there will be many in the next five years, will also need to have our meals and drinks compensated. If you would do me the honor of accepting this map in exchange for fully compensating all charges for my guests and me, I would consider that a fair trade.”

  At that moment, the buxom waitress came by to offer us coffee or tea. I saw Koji’s gaze slide up and down her body as she took our orders. I knew the rejuvenation was giving him ideas.

  “Could we possibly discuss a cap on the maximum number of guests?” he said. “Perhaps only three?”

  “Ten,” I said.

  “Four,” he said.

  “Seven,” I countered.

  “Six,” he said with finality. That was good because I was trying for five.

  “Agreed,” I said.

  “Agreed,” said Koji. “Starting—”

  “Today,” I said, pushing the bill towards him.

  He looked at the bill, then at me and raised an eyebrow. Oh yeah, the map. I pulled it out of my satchel and held it out. Koji grabbed the chart, but I didn’t let go. He looked at my face and picked up the bill. I let the chart go.

  Koji looked insufferably pleased with himself. He had a chance at rejuvenation, his old chart to use for teaching, and us on the way to eliminate the menace of the ghost samurai.

  “Ladies,” I said, standing up and motioning for Koji to rise with me, “please enjoy your tea. I have to have a few words with Koji-san.”

  Koji was puzzled by the “ladies” comment, as he still couldn’t see Akiko, but he followed me to the door of the restaurant.

  “Koji-san,” I said, “we will join you in your office in about thirty minutes to use the map to divine the location of the rest of the armor.”

  He nodded and turned away. I touched his arm, stopping him. In a voice too low for even Kitty-Sue to hear, I said, “Koji-san, I want to give you a warning about rejuvenation. Approaching puberty from the far s
ide can be more disorientating than normal puberty.” I slid my eyes towards the buxom waitress he had been admiring, then Kitty-Sue. “You might be tempted to do rash things. Things that will complicate your life.”

  He snorted and clapped my back. “My friend,” he said, “I wish I could have those kinds of complications.”

  Back at the table, we enjoyed our drinks, mine with a shot of brandy, and tea.

  Kitty-Sue looked at me as she twirled her teacup. Then she asked, “Scott-san, aren’t you rich? I mean rich, rich. Almost billionaire rich?”

  “Yes,” I said, “and all it took was risking my life to defeat an alpha werewolf. With my hands chained behind my back.” Not to mention that I had gifted ten percent of my wealth to each of them. And I still ended up paying most of the bills.

  “We know the story,” she said, waving away my bragging, “we were there. But if you’re so rich, why do you bargain so hard?”

  “To keep in practice,” I said. “Magicians live and die by bargains. Mundane cash means little to us. But it has its uses.”

  Akiko finished her coffee and added, “Plus, Scott-sensei was raised cheap. In Tennessee coal country. Surviving there took a lot of ingenuity.”

  Kitty-Sue would probably never understand. In her world, duty, honor, and skill at her deadly profession were items of much more importance than money. I loved her from the tips of her furry ears to the tips of her furry tails, but some things we couldn’t communicate about.

  Thirty minutes later, we were back in Koji’s office. I could tell from his deep breathing and sweat-soaked shirt that he had been practicing the steps for the rejuvenation spell.

  “Six steps?” I asked.

  “Seven,” he said proudly.

  “Excellent!” I said. By the time we finish with the ghost samurai, you should be at twenty steps.”

  Koji bowed his head. One thing about the Japanese, if they put their mind to doing something, they will give one hundred percent until they accomplish it.

  “OK,” I said, “now we need to use this map to divine the location of the rest of the samurai’s armor.”

  We took the chart off the wall and set it on the floor in a clear space. I retrieved the crystal globe that contained the lock of the samurai’s hair and placed it on the map. Once the spell engaged, the marble-sized globe should roll to the spot in Hakone where the armor resided. If the armor was outside of Hakone, it would roll towards the correct location.

  The similarity spell was complicated. And made even more so because I insisted the invisible Akiko perform half of it. I had already seen that Koji was perceptive enough to copy my spells. However, copying my half of this spell would teach him nothing.

  Setting the crystal sphere on the chart, I started the spell. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Koji-san drop a pencil and bend over to pick it up.

  The crystal globe vibrated in place for several moments, then started moving. Instead of rolling to a spot in Hakone, or even to a spot on the floor to indicate a spot outside of Hakone, the sphere zipped through the air and embedded itself in the plasterboard, passing through the space that had recently been occupied by the kneeling Koji-san. Looked like the good luck spell was still working for him.

  Looking at the direction, force, and angle, I could come to only one conclusion.

  “Oh crap,” I said.

  “What does that mean?” Koji and Kitty-Sue asked at the same time.

  “It means the armor is not in Japan,” I said.

  10

  Searching Siam

  “If it’s not in Japan,” said Kitty-Sue, “where is it?”

  “That’s a good question,” I said. “We need to make some more accurate measurements.”

  Koji-san had a very worried expression. I didn’t know why until Kitty-Sue said, “You’re not going to shoot any holes in his new magic chart, are you?”

  “No,” I said, “of course not. We just need to downplay some of the spell parameters to eliminate the logarithmic distance component.”

  Kitty-Sue perched her butt on the desk, crossed her arms, and said, “Whatever. Just don’t screw up Koji-san’s chance at a second childhood.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it,” I said, and noted the look of relief on Koji-san’s face.

  The next few hours were spent recalculating vectors for the spell. Kitty-Sue’s interest waned quickly, and Koji-san was flagging.

  “Kitty-Sue, Koji-san,” I said, “this is going to take several more hours. Why don’t you two go and get some sleep?”

  “I’m fine,” said Kitty-Sue, who then stifled a yawn. “OK, I’m a little bit tired, but I can hang in there.”

  She saw my glance at Koji-san and understood. I didn’t want to keep giving free magic lessons to a possible rival.

  “Koji-san,” she said, “I think we should leave Scott to his calculations. Let’s go.”

  She took Koji-san’s arm and urged him through the door. She took one look back at Akiko and nodded, before saying, “Good night, Scott. See you in the morning.”

  Akiko drifted closer to my worksheet, examining my work. She immediately pointed out areas where the calculations could be simplified. I handed her the pencil and she started making new designs on the worksheet.

  “So, Akiko,” I said, “why don’t you reveal yourself to Koji-san? You can make almost any human see you, when you want.”

  “In my judgment, Scott-sensei,” she said, “Koji-san is not completely trustworthy. He yearns for more power than he can obtain through his own efforts. I think it best we not reveal too much to him.”

  Her thoughts paralleled my own. Good to know my perceptive student felt the same way. As I mulled over the worksheet, trying to find balance in the equations, Akiko spoke again.

  “Unlike you, Koji-san would never have turned down the dragon’s bargain,” she said. “The result of him getting that much power would be chaotic.”

  “Is that why you set your calculations for the new chart to only last five years?” After all, the previous chart had lasted hundreds, only losing accuracy when the energy flows drifted far away from their original locations.

  “Hai,” she said. “If he gains too much power from using our tools, it will only last a few years.”

  “And if he causes trouble while the chart is still potent?” I asked.

  Akiko willed herself into true invisibility; not even my magician’s eyesight could find her. “You have your invisible secret weapon to stop him,” she whispered in my ear from an inch away. I felt the chill caress of her ghost finger slide down my back.

  Was the message that one day, she might have to sneak up on me? Probably. Magicians go mad. When powerful magicians go mad, other magicians have to stop them.

  Akiko might have to kill me one day, but not today. We got back to work on modifying the direction spells and wrapped up by dawn.

  “Ohayo,” said Kitty-Sue. She and Koji-san came in together. Kitty-Sue was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and carried two steaming coffee cups. But Koji-san was still looking rough. He would need a lot of rejuvenation and recovery before he could keep up with us.

  Handing one cup to me, Kitty-Sue set the other on the desk. Akiko sniffed appreciatively, then duplicated the coffee to her plane.

  “So, did you get your spell-work done?” asked Kitty-Sue.

  “I believe so,” I said. “We’re ready to make another measurement.”

  Koji-san stepped back, closer to the door, putting Kitty-Sue between him and the chart on the floor. Smart guy.

  This time, however, there were no fireworks. The crystal globe was placed at the northernmost point of the chart. When the spell was invoked, the globe rolled off the map at an angle and stopped about ten feet away, under Koji-san’s desk.

  I carefully marked the angle and distance from the chart to the resting globe.

  Then we repeated the process, starting the crystal globe from the most southern point of the map. Once again, the globe stopped under Koji-san’s desk, at the exact same
spot.

  We repeated the process several times to ensure we were reading the angles and distances correctly.

  I put the globe away, careful not to the let Koji-san see the gestures to open my dragonskin satchel, then started on the calculations. Akiko worked the same numbers independently, so we could compare answers.

  I finished my coffee and calculations at the same time. Akiko looked at me sadly, and said, “Scott-sensei, I show the armor as being lost in the Pacific Ocean. I don’t believe we can recover it.”

  “Did you use a straight line or a great-circle to calculate the location?”

  She bowed her head. “Gomenasai,” she said, “I used a straight line.” She looked at the numbers again and performed the calculation in her head, much faster than I could. She nodded to herself and said, “Yes. Now I see where the armor resides.”

  “Well,” said Kitty-Sue, “don’t keep me in suspense. Where is it?”

  Akiko and I answered at the same time. “Thailand.”

  “Oh crap,” said Kitty-Sue. “Another road trip.”

  Koji-san seemed to be growing nervous. At first, I thought it was because of the difficulty in retrieving the armor. Then I looked at the chart and the position of the sun. It was nearly the next period of time when the rejuvenation spell would be most effective. He was anxious to get started.

  I returned the chart to the wall and cleaned up our pencil and chalk marks on the floor, leaving the space free for his rituals.

  “OK, team,” I said. “Let’s go have breakfast and make plans for our trip.”

  We used the breakfast buffet, which made it easier to get food for the invisible Akiko. It was also nice because the buffet had both Japanese-style and American-style breakfasts. Kitty-Sue and Akiko got rice, miso soup, grilled fish, and some pickled vegetables. I was able to enjoy an omelet and bacon, as well as toast and pastries.

  Finishing up her breakfast tea, Kitty-Sue set the cup down and said, “So, boss, it looks like we have to go to Thailand?”