Consumed by Wrath: An FBI/Romance Thriller (An FBI/Romance Thriller ~ Book 8)

by Kelley, Morgan

  Instinctually, Callen’s arm came around her and pulled her to his body. “She didn't mean it, okay, Ethan?” he said, yanking the night vision off his head, angrily. “I think you’re getting stirred up for no reason. Take a deep breath and a minute to calm down. You’re not thinking straight.”

  It was too late. Ethan was already trapped in the wrath. “I’m beginning to believe that the woman I love only got pregnant to fix me. I think I deserve to know if you really wanted this baby, Elizabeth, or if it was just some way to appease me. I can’t live like that!”

  She stared up at him, still unable to answer.

  “Tell me!” he snapped, the anger filling his voice.

  In the dark night, it sounded ten times louder and cracked like thunder in the air.

  Elizabeth actually jumped.

  Callen had enough and stepped between them as he placed Elizabeth behind him. “Stop it, okay? You’re scaring her, and I don’t blame her for not answering. You aren’t the only one suffering, Ethan. The last four months have been hard for us too. You used to be laid back, but now there’s this fury living inside you. Any time someone says something, which you interpret wrong, this rage comes out. Frankly, it’s very scary. We get it. You’re hurt and upset, but if you can really ask Elizabeth if she wants one of her children, that you two created, maybe you’re the one that shouldn’t be having it with her.”

  Blackhawk tried to get past his brother to talk to her face to face, but Callen stood his ground.

  “It’s okay, Cal,” she said, holding his hand in hers. “You want the truth, Ethan?”

  “Yes,” he said, staring at her.

  “I wanted to wait a few more months, but almost losing you made me realize that we don’t always have the time we think we do. I then decided that a couple months didn't mean anything in the grand scheme. I wanted to make sure that I could handle the pregnancy, but even if I lost it, giving you a baby was worth the risk. I want this child and always will.”

  He moved towards her, and she stepped back.

  His face registered his shock when she moved away from him.

  “Callen’s right. I’m afraid. I’m so scared about everything anymore. I spent days crying in the bathroom at work, because at any second I assumed that the anger was going to make you leave. I honestly believed that you were going to quit and walk away from our family so many times, that I’m walking on eggshells to not hurt you. I didn't mean anything by what I said. We used to be able to tease each other, but I see that’s hit or miss. I’d rather not risk this kind of reaction, so I’ll never do it again. It’s safer that way.”

  Callen understood. He kept Elizabeth protectively in his arms. “We never know when this part of you is going to get mean.”

  Ethan didn't realize that they saw him that way. He knew he was struggling, but he didn't think that he frightened them. It never occurred to him that he was terrorizing his family.

  “It is just one more thing that was stolen away from us. Patrick Parish took my life, shook it around, and locked me in that coffin, Ethan. I’m living the same fears over and over. Every damn day, I’m fighting to keep you here with us.”

  He stared at her. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I get so mad,” he began.

  “We get mad too, Ethan,” Callen said. “You’re not the only one that nearly died that day. If you went, part of us would have died too. We’re trying to be understanding, but you have to meet us part of the way. At least give us the benefit of the doubt.”

  “I didn't mean what I said to you, Elizabeth. I’m sorry that I questioned your love for our child.” When he went to reach for her, again, she moved away from him this time he suspected out of her own anger.

  Elizabeth didn't want to hurt him, but she was tired of being the one who took the weight on her shoulders. “Let’s just get this done. I want to go home. I can see that this was a bad idea. I should have come alone and faced the cannibal. It’s a sad day when that’s a better option.”

  It stung, but Blackhawk understood. He’d made this mess with his anger.

  She moved past him, no longer wanting him to act as her shield. Elizabeth was that damn mad at him. Pulling her own flashlight and gun, she swept and scanned as she moved down the trail.

  Callen followed, walking past Ethan. Blood mattered, but Elizabeth was both of theirs to protect, and his brother wasn’t doing his job. At some point, the line had to be drawn in the sand, and here it was. Ethan wanted them to stop babying him, and he was getting what he asked for. You couldn’t have it both ways. If you wanted to face reality, then it was all the way or nothing.

  No more eggshells.

  Anger or pain, there were still things that weren’t going to fly in their family. This was one of them. Callen was laid back, but if Ethan believed that he was free to erupt at their pregnant wife, he was out of his mind.

  As they continued up the path, there was a light glowing up ahead. They slowed down and moved quietly towards it. Suddenly, she heard it, and the need to be stealthy came to an end.

  “I know where this path comes out,” she said, moving forward. It didn't take long for the memories to flood back to her. As they exited the tree line, they could all see it.

  It was the fairgrounds, and the Spring Fling was starting.

  Callen placed his hand on her shoulder, and stared at the throngs of people moving around. Some were heading towards the food and others to the rides and games.

  “I think the killer left a clue, but I’m not sure that he meant to do it,” she stated.

  Blackhawk took it all in, but said nothing. He was still thinking about what his brother and Elizabeth had said to him.

  For now, silence was golden.

  At least until he could figure out a way to rectify the entire situation.

  “Somewhere in these fifteen thousand residents of Salem is the one that likes to snack on people. The rest are on his dinner menu.”

  “Putting it that way sounds daunting,” Callen said.

  “Yeah, tell me about it.”

  Sadly, she had a better chance of finding a mad man than reconstructing a broken one.

  ~ Chapter Eighteen ~

  The ride home was completely and utterly uncomfortable for everyone. Once more, Ethan was silent, and it upset the other two people more than when he raged around like a lunatic.

  It felt like the melancholy was returning, and this was why so many times, they simply let him explode and didn't say anything to defend themselves. That fear that he would backslide was always there in their minds.

  Now, it appeared to be a reality.

  As they pulled into the driveway, the familiar truck drew everyone’s attention.

  “It’s Tony,” she said softly, as she prayed that no one would lose their tempers and explode. The night was already going downhill fast enough.

  Getting out, she climbed up the stairs wearily. “Hey Tony, what can we do for you?” she inquired, keeping all emotion from her voice.

  “I came to talk to you,” he said, and then he stared at the men. “Alone.”

  She laughed sardonically. “You know, this is like déjà vu,” she said. “Only last time you were in trouble. Oh wait,” she began. “You’re still in trouble, so I guess not much has changed.”

  “It’s about us,” he said, staring at her. “About our past.”

  She didn't give two shits at this point. What she did want was something to eat, her pajamas, and to say goodnight to her kids. “They aren’t leaving.”

  Neither man moved.

  “Fine, why not? I’m all out of dignity anyway. I’m madly in love with you, and have been since the first day I saw you in high school. When you left to join the FBI, it took me years to get over you. And then you came back, four years ago, and it all came back.”

  She stared at him. “Tony,” Elizabeth began.

  “Please, let me just say it all, then you can see why my life is a mess. Then, maybe you can see it from my perspective.”

  She let
him continue, despite better judgment.

  “When you came back to be sheriff, I wanted to be with you in the worst way, and it brought back all the memories of our past. I regret ever hurting you on prom night, but I think you finally deserve to know why I did what I did.”

  Blackhawk didn't want to deal with this, but if he left, it would burn a hole in his gut, not knowing what Tony had to say. His options were few and far between.

  “You think that I slept with that other girl because you wouldn’t put out, but that’s not the real reason. I slept with her because I was afraid. I bought you an engagement ring, and I was going to ask you to be my wife. I went to your father, to ask him if I could have your hand in marriage, and he told me I was too young and that there were other women out there.”

  Elizabeth stared at him incredulously. This was the one thing that she never expected to hear.

  “Charlie told me that I was a boy, and that the first pretty girl who caught my eye would make me forget about you. He dared me to prove him wrong, so I did. I picked the easiest girl I could find, and the entire time, all I thought about was you. Being with you wasn’t just puppy love, but something I was lucky to find.”

  “Then, I found out what you did,” she said, finally getting it. Elizabeth always believed that her father had scared Tony off, she just didn't think it was like this. The man was set up to fail.

  “I didn't even go through with the sex. Yeah, we got naked and rolled around, but when it came time to do it, I couldn’t. She wasn’t you and I knew then and there I was right and your dad was wrong.”

  “But word travelled back to me,” she offered.

  “Yeah, the other girl was pissed I couldn’t do it. She wanted to steal a man away from Elizabeth LaRue. I was the feather in her cap and nothing more.”

  “So, the next day she made sure I knew.”

  He swallowed and stared down at his hands. “You wouldn’t let me explain. You had that one rule, that if any man ever cheated on you, you were gone. It was the only reason I got to date you. You were with Jacob Brome for years. When he let that other girl touch him, you fell into my lap. Then, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I was arrogant and stupid when I fell for it.”

  Her heart ached for Tony. Having to spill this had to be hard for him, especially since she knew the large men behind her had to be scowling at him.

  “I never got over you, but it became bearable. Then, you moved back and became my boss. I honestly believed that my life had changed. You know the old adage, let something go and if it comes back it’s meant to be.”

  Callen and Ethan could sympathize with the man, but they hoped he didn't think that this was going to open a door back into her life. Elizabeth had the only men she was ever going to have.

  “So, I started trying to win you back. I came over every morning, and I brought you coffee. I freed up my life to have dinner with you on Fridays. I tried to get you to see me as more, but that damn mistake in my past made you just out of my reach. Do you know how horrible it is to see the person you love, every single day, and know you’ll never have her? It’s crushing.”

  “Tony,” she began.

  “No, I’ll get it all out, and then you can judge me a sinner. One fateful day, along came your knight in shining armor. The FBI rode into town, and any chance I ever had was gone. Until that moment, I honestly believed that I could wear you down, or at least it gave me hope. You had sworn off men, and I was able to get close. In fact, I was closer than I ever was before. But Ethan was here, and you looked at him like he was the man of your dreams.”

  “He was and still is,” she said, softly.

  Ethan’s heart skipped in his chest at her admission.

  “Well, he swooped you up in four days. He did in less than a week, what took me a full year to even build up to. I was angry and furious at myself, so I began punishing me.”

  This explained what Tyrell had said about the whiskey and his behavior. This was why he filled his office with things from his past. Tony was making himself pay.

  Every day.

  He was in purgatory.

  “I stopped caring. I began drinking, and I figured that I wasn’t worth it to anyone. Then, I walk into that stupid café and like magic, you’re there. To add insult to injury, Martha tells me that not only are you with one brother but the other too. There was room in your life for two men, but not me. Never me.”

  Elizabeth felt bad for him, but she couldn’t change the past. She could only fix the present and live for the future.

  “I wanted to die inside all over again. Just when I try to forget, I have to relive it. I needed you to know, because before I ruined my life, I had a chance and you were it.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. “You’re worthy of love, Tony. You're a man that made a mistake, and I don’t hate you. I never have. You’ve had my number and my email, and you could have reached out to me. I won’t ever be anything more than a friend, but I do care and love you, because we shared a past. My heart breaks for you, because you put us on this path. If you didn't cheat, who knows what would have happened, but you have to stop looking back and start looking forward. There’s a woman out there for you and once you find her, I’ll be a distant memory.”

  He closed his eyes in so much pain.

  What could she do? Elizabeth crossed to him, and hugged the man. When someone was down, even if they hurt you, you didn't hand it back to them. You offered them something more. Maybe it was the mothering instinct, or just the compassion that lived in her, but she didn't want him to hurt.

  “It’s okay, Tony,” she said softly. Behind her, she heard the door close, as the men she loved offered him something too. They gave him back a little bit of his dignity, as he fell apart on their porch.

  “I’m sorry, Lyzee. I am so damn sorry that I hurt you all those years ago, and I’m sorry that I didn't tell you why I did it. I let pride get the best of me, and all it did was destroy me. I was arrogant and ruined my life.”

  She sat on the step with him, and took his hand in hers. She was well aware of the lesson of arrogance. Hadn’t she just baited a killer and nearly lost Ethan in the process?

  Yeah, she could sympathize.

  Pride cometh before the fall.

  “Tony, you can always fix what’s broken.”

  “I lost my job.”

  She knew that was repairable too. “I think that if you talk to Chris and Tyrell, you might be able to get a deputy job back,” she said, knowing that she could push for it and help him out.

  “Do you think?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I believe so. It’s not too late to move forward, but I will be honest with you. I am so grateful for what you did back then. I’m in love with two men who treat me well. I’m pregnant with our fourth child, and I couldn’t be happier. I owe it all to the one mistake you made. You set this in motion, so thank you,” she said, leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

  Sitting there, she dropped her head on his shoulder, and they sat in silence.

  “I miss having you as my friend.”

  “I’ve always been here, Tony.”

  There was a pause.

  “I’m happy for you, Lyzee,” he finally said. “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever really been able to say that. I won’t lie and tell you that I don’t wish that this was our house and our life, but I believe that you deserve happiness now, even when I couldn’t give it to you.”

  She patted him on the knee. “When I have this baby, how would you feel about being the Godfather?” she asked, suddenly.

  He stared at her. “Really?”

  Elizabeth nodded. “We don’t know if it’s a girl or boy yet, but we’re naming the child Charlie after my dad, and Samuel or Samantha for Doc.”

  “I think I would love to be part of this child’s life,” he said, his eyes filling with tears. “Thank you, Lyzee, for never giving up on me.”

  She laid her head back on his shoulder. “Tony, that’s what friends are for.�
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  Ethan and Callen watched from the privacy of the doorway. When the conversation stopped outside, they snuck away to the kitchen. When Callen wouldn’t even look at his brother, Ethan’s heart was ready to break.

  “I’m going to go outside,” he said, grabbing two beers, as he headed out the patio door.

  Whitefox wanted to go to him, but he knew Ethan needed to figure this out on his own. He needed to find his way back to them in his own time. He wasn’t going to baby him.

  Not this time.

  Instead, he started making dinner.

  Knowing that he couldn’t pull off anything elaborate, he grabbed some cans of soup and opted for grilled cheese. When Elizabeth walked in, she stopped in front of him. “Where’s he at, Cal?”

  “Outside, and he looks like the world is on his shoulders. Are you going to fix him too?” he asked, referring to what she just did with Tony.

  “I’m going to try my damndest.”

  “I’ll make dinner,” he said, kissing her on the lips. “You need to feed our baby.”

  Elizabeth rubbed her hand over her belly. “Charlie is a lucky little zygote.”

  “I like that name a lot. It’s sturdy for a boy, and if you’re having a girl, she’s going to kick ass.”

  She offered him a fist bump. “Of course she will. Look at her family.”

  “See you in a few minutes,” he said, patting her on the ass and sending her towards the door. If anyone could get through to Ethan, it was Elizabeth.

  She shook her head as she walked away. Once there, she watched him sitting on the edge of the patio, legs dangling off the side as he chugged a beer. Going out to him, she stood behind him.

  “Is he better?” he asked, as she approached.

  “I think so. At least he is for now, anyway. Sometimes a Band-Aid will work, and sometimes it won’t.”

  “Would you have married him, if he asked you all those years ago?”

  She didn't have to think about it. “No, because he wasn’t the man I was supposed to be with. My Native brave in shining Kevlar wasn’t meant to ride into town for quite a few more years. I still believe that you and I were made to be together.”