Consumed by Wrath: An FBI/Romance Thriller (An FBI/Romance Thriller ~ Book 8)

by Kelley, Morgan

  He didn't move. “I don’t know why I get mad,” he said. “I don’t want to be angry, but I am. I hate myself for the way I talked to you tonight.”

  She sat beside him.

  “I want this baby more than anything, Elizabeth. When Parrish had me locked in that box, all I wanted was to have one more chance with you and Callen, and I’m ruining it.”

  She touched his arm.

  “Maybe I should go away, Lyzee. Maybe you’d be happier if I just vanished from your life. You have Callen and our kids and no burden to carry. You don’t need me anymore. I’m just the weight that holds you down.”

  This was her fear.

  Those words did more damage to her than any cannibal ever could. “If that’s what you want,” she said, bravely, as she stood and headed back to the door.

  “It’s not what I want!”

  The wrath had returned.

  “I want my old life back. I want to not be afraid of the dark. I want to not see the blood, and smell the antiseptic of that bathroom he tortured me in. It kills me to know that I’m not as strong as I once was, and that one day you might stop loving me because of it. I just don’t know how the fuck to escape it all.” He threw his beer against the trunk of the tree and the bottle shattered into a million pieces, spraying beer across the patio.

  Blackhawk knew that he had a better chance of putting that bottle back together again, than his life. Just when he thought he was back on track, he was lost again. The darkness pulled him back under and he was lost.

  “I don’t know how you get back, Ethan. I only know that if you’re going to leave, do it before this child is born. I don’t want Charlie to see you walk away. No child deserves that.”

  The words crushed him, since he was well aware of how it felt to be abandoned. Wyler did it to him and to Callen. Now, he had just suggested it.

  Obviously, he was crazy. This moment was the one thing that he fought against his entire life. Here was one more fear, and he was about to succumb to it.

  Ethan Blackhawk just hit rock bottom.

  Turning, she stared at him. “I loved you from the second you came into my life, and I’ve never stopped. When you came back to me, I swore that I would die loving you, and I meant it. You’re probably the one person in this world who could ever break me, Ethan. I always expected Callen to leave, once he was whole again. I just never expected you to be the one to abandon me. You always were my rock and my strength. Now that you’re willing to run, what do I have left? What chance do I have of surviving this? You threatening to abandon me has taken away my life once more. Only this one’s on you, not the asshole that took you last time.”

  He sat on the edge of the porch and shook as the emotion overwhelmed him.

  “I’m so sorry, Elizabeth. I can’t save me this time. I’m digging out and the dirt is covering me faster and faster. I can’t get free and I’m dying inside.”

  Elizabeth crossed to him and sat beside him. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she pulled him towards her and let him weep. “There will be good days and bad ones, Ethan. I don’t doubt that we can get through them. I’m willing to try, but I can’t do battle alone. I need you to reach in deep and find one reason worth fighting for.”

  “There are so many,” he whispered. “You and our kids are worth dying for.”

  There was the creak of wood, as Callen came out at the sound of his brother’s distressed shouts. Sitting on the opposite side of him, he mimicked Elizabeth’s actions. “We love you, Ethan,” he said, holding them both in his arms.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered over and over again, as his body was racked with sorrow.

  They both held onto him. “You don’t have to be sorry,” she said. “You just have to not give up. Tomorrow’s a new day. We pick ourselves up, we brush ourselves off, and we start anew. It’s not always going to be perfect. We just need to keep moving forward.”

  “How long can you both carry me?” he asked, wiping his eyes. “Before the burden buries you both too.”

  “For the rest of our lives,” they said at the same time.

  Elizabeth leaned over and kissed him on the lips. Callen kissed his big brother on the forehead, and they all sat there.

  No one spoke.

  They didn't need to. Elizabeth slipped between them and held their hands in hers. If she could bottle that moment, to hold onto forever, she would. Who knew what was coming in their future, or if Ethan would ever be completely repaired? For now, they needed baby steps.

  “I’ll work on the anger,” he said.

  “No more eggshells,” Elizabeth said. “We’re a family and the truth matters.”

  He agreed.

  “Can we call Doctor Gaines and talk about this?” he asked, offering them an olive branch, and to show them how sorry he really was inside.

  “Yes,” they both answered.

  “Can we eat while we do it?” she asked. “I’m freaking starving. I may turn into a cannibal myself if we don’t.”

  Both men laughed.

  “What? Was that inappropriate?” she asked, offering her hand and pulling them to their feet. .

  “Maybe a tad bit,” said Ethan, as he held onto her for dear life.

  “Uh, a little more than that,” Callen added, dropping his arm over both of their shoulders.

  “Hey, at least I’m predictable.”

  They only laughed, because predictability was exactly what they needed.

  Monday Morning

  That morning, when they woke, Ethan was gone. Elizabeth woke Callen up, and the two of them sat there for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to say or do. Whitefox was more than willing to hunt him down and kick his ass for putting that look of fear on Elizabeth’s face.

  When they both smelled coffee, they stared at each other. Somehow, neither believed that a man running from demons would stop to make coffee before abandoning ship.

  Once downstairs, they found the coffeepot going and a note in front of it.

  L&C,

  I had some things to work out, so I went for a run.

  Be back soon.

  I love you both,

  E.

  It lifted the weight off both of their shoulders. Taking their coffees outside, they dropped into the Adirondack chairs on her front porch and just enjoyed the crisp air. That was one of the best parts of the Deep South, it wasn’t ever really cold.

  This part she missed, especially when the snow started falling and she had to scrape the fluffy white shit off her SUV.

  “I like it here,” Callen said, glancing over at her.

  “Yeah, other than a serial killer infestation, Salem is a pretty calm place.”

  Whitefox nearly choked on his coffee. He snickered. “I bet that’s not in the town welcome center brochure.”

  She drank her coffee. “Yeah, and probably with good reason.”

  “He’s going to get through this, Lyzee. Don’t give up on him,” Callen said, suddenly. “I know he scares you when he erupts, but I don’t believe he’d ever hurt you.”

  Neither did she. “I won’t ever give up on him. He’s the reason this family is together. He put his faith in a dream to find me. That takes courage and strength. I won’t ever abandon him. I’ll follow Ethan into hell to save him. Sometimes, it just gets tough. Like I said last night, it’s a new day. I’m ready to do battle to save him from whatever is chasing him.”

  “I have your back. I’ll keep you both safe.”

  She took his hand and stared into his eyes. “I never had a doubt that you wouldn’t.”

  Callen squeezed her hand. Motion in the distance caught his attention. “I’ll go get him some coffee. I’m betting he ran hard to beat back his anger.”

  “No doubt,” she said, watching Ethan run up the driveway. When he stopped at the porch, Elizabeth noticed his eyes were clearer. “Did you win the race?” she asked.

  He sat pulled off his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face and body. “Yeah, this day goes to me.”
<
br />   Blackhawk moved toward the chair and sat in it. The memories all came back, as he recalled a morning much like this, where he was sitting there waiting for her to finish her run. “I love you,” he said.

  Elizabeth moved from her chair to sit in his lap. “Is this seat taken, Mr. Blackhawk?” she asked.

  “It’s reserved only for you,” he answered, as she sat against him and dropped her arm around his neck. “That is, as long as you don’t mind getting a little sweaty.”

  “I don’t mind at all,” she whispered in his ear. “When I woke up, I thought you were gone.”

  “I won’t leave you. I know that’s your fear, and now I won’t ever let it happen. I’m going to stay by your side. If you don’t mind me broken and not quite perfect, then I’ll accept it too.”

  She stared down at the topless man beneath her. “Not perfect?” There was laughter. “Yeah, well if you’re not perfect, I don’t think my heart could take a man that was. You make me all flustered, and hot and bothered, Mr. Blackhawk.”

  His body warmed at her words, and the fact that she was sitting in his lap. As she ran her fingers over the tattoo on his chest, his own heart kicked up.

  Callen came outside and grinned. This was what he liked seeing. His big brother and the woman they loved smiling at each other. “Coffee?” he asked, handing Ethan a cup.

  “Thanks, Cal,” he said, taking a sip. “This is a pretty good morning. I have our woman in my lap, coffee that’s hot, and a beautiful view. Now, if we didn't have a serial killer to find, it would be perfect.”

  “Yeah, except we would then be back home heading to work in a few hours,” added Elizabeth.

  “Ah, yes, the work thing. That pesky career is always getting in the way. What do you want to do today, baby?” he asked, as he tried to not think about sex. It wasn’t going to be easy, but he would try.

  “We need to head to the morgue. By now, Chris may have something for us from the cranial autopsies.”

  “I hope he got some work done, since Cyra stayed there last night,” Callen said, grinning. “I wonder how that worked out? Newlyweds alone in a morgue...”

  Elizabeth stared at him like he had lost his mind.

  “Something is wrong with you, son,” said Blackhawk, laughing. He knew exactly what his brother was thinking, and he couldn’t blame him. Honestly, his mind went there too.

  “Right, like you wouldn’t jump Lyzee if you were alone in a morgue. Come on, who are you kidding?”

  She had visions in her head, and all of them were a tad bit too creepy. “It wouldn’t ever happen, boys. I’m not getting vertical with anyone on a slab.”

  Callen offered up the bet. “I say that Chris and Cyra did, and I’ll put in twenty bucks.” He paused before continuing, “No, I feel so secure on this one, I’ll up the ante to fifty.”

  Blackhawk thought about it. If he were in Chris’s position, he would definitely be having sex there. “Are we talking anywhere in the morgue?”

  “Yep. Inside the building.”

  “I’m in saying they did the deed too.”

  She stared at Ethan. “You’re out of your mind. I’ll take the bet and cover both of your fifties. I say that Cyra wouldn’t even entertain that notion. No sane woman would ever go there.”

  Blackhawk and Whitefox laughed.

  “What?”

  “Care to sweeten the pot?” Ethan asked.

  She thought about it. “What?”

  “If we’re right, you’re going to be wearing that little cheerleader outfit for both of us, in a little fantasy that we’ll call, ‘naughty cheerleader and really horny high school jocks’.”

  Callen started laughing and offered his brother a fist bump. “Good one.”

  Blackhawk waited for her to reply.

  “Deal, but if I win, you both get out the war paint, in a little fantasy I like to call ‘white woman ravages the savages’.”

  The men found that incredibly hysterical.

  “Deal,” they both stated, grinning wickedly. The best things about all of their bets were the sex parts, because really, there weren’t any losers. Everyone won in the bedroom, one way or another.

  Sometimes repeatedly.

  “Okay, then. Let’s head to the morgue and stir up the employees before we start another round of interviews and notifies.”

  “I need a shower first,” stated Ethan, as he watched Elizabeth climb out of his lap. The feral look in his eyes must have given away his intentions, because she took off running into the house.

  “Want to help me get her all soapy?” he asked his brother.

  “Oh, yeah.”

  They didn't waste any time, and it occurred to both men that she was either getting slower, or Elizabeth wanted to be caught.

  * * *

  At the morgue, Chris stretched and rolled his shoulders. He and Tony had worked through the night, and had found everything that they could on the victims. You wouldn’t think that autopsying a bunch of heads would take long, but it wasn’t a walk in the park.

  Spending hours staring down was hell on the neck and back. Now, Chris felt like he was about one hundred years old and just as stiff.

  When the door opened, and his wife walked in with coffee for him and Tony, his heart did a little dance in his chest. The word ‘wife’ excited him, and the memories of their interlude before dinner heated his blood. After she handed Tony his coffee, she was at his side.

  “You could have gone back to Hotel Blackhawk, sweetheart. I hate that you didn't sleep because I had to work,” Chris said, sipping his coffee.

  Cyra leaned in and whispered so only they could hear, “I didn't sleep because I was thinking about having sex with you again.”

  Yeah, his hormones surged, and his body sprang to life. Glancing around, he pulled her against his body, so she could feel what he was thinking. When she grinned, he covered her mouth with his and took the moment to kiss his wife.

  It was amazing. When her hand slid up under his scrub shirt, he wanted beg her to touch him even more.

  “Oh look, it’s the happy Monday morning morgue make out,” stated Elizabeth from the doorway. From the look of the kiss, she had that sinking feeling that she was going to be doing some splits in her future.

  Damn it!

  Cyra jumped about two feet and looked horrified.

  Ethan and Callen were grinning. Now, they just had to wait to see how Elizabeth was going to ferret out the truth. Even if she was going to lose, it wouldn’t be them she took it out on. No, she was going to torture the staff.

  “I hope that when security watches the closed circuit TV feed, they enjoy watching my ME and agent in a lip lock.”

  The trap was set.

  “What?” Cyra said, looking around the room in terror.

  “Yeah, a few years ago, kids were sneaking in to have sex here. Doc had hidden cameras put in to catch them. All these rooms down here are wired. You can’t imagine all the perverts that he caught getting their jollies off in here. The recordings are housed next door in the station. Right now, Tyrell is probably reviewing them before he deletes them for the day.”

  Blackhawk would have laughed out loud, if it wouldn’t have ruined her plan. His wife was an evil genius. God, it almost made him want to jump her in the morgue.

  The look on Cyra’s face was one of total dread, and the one on Chris’s was pretty damn smug.

  She had her answer.

  “Shit,” she muttered, pulling money out of her pocket and handing a fifty to each man.

  Cyra and Chris watched.

  The ME began laughing.

  Blackhawk kissed his wife and tucked the cash into his pocket. “Don’t bet on the male hormones, baby. You know better than that.”

  Whitefox laughed wickedly as he did the same. “Rah, rah, rah! I can’t wait!”

  “Damn newlyweds,” she muttered. It was hard to be upset, especially when her friend was happy. “Yeah, yeah, you two were right about it, so now let’s move on.”

 
Chris found it all entertaining. Partially, because he was getting sex and now had a beautiful wife. He knew his bosses couldn’t fault him for that. For God’s sake, they had a threesome. No one in that house was squeamish when it came to sex.

  “I worked hard all night,” he said, still grinning. When Cyra looked mortified, it made him laugh even more.

  “I’m glad you find late nights amusing,” Elizabeth said. “If you don’t give me something, there will be more where this one came from. Only, I’ll make sure you’re doing them with Tony.”

  He tried to stop smiling, but he knew his boss wasn’t serious. “Well, had my head lab tech showed up, I wouldn’t have had to do her work and mine.”

  “Where the hell is she?” Elizabeth asked, looking around.

  “Oh, yeah,” Ethan began. “I sent her home after she resigned. I’m surprised the tech team didn't spread that around, especially since one tech drove her to the airport. I must be scary when I’m mad,” Blackhawk added.

  “What happened?” The last thing she knew, the woman fell in the river, she saved her, and all was well in techie land. Well, as good as it could be when you played with the dead all day.

  Blackhawk shrugged and broke it all down. “It looks like we have to find us a new tech.”

  Chris sighed. “Okay, well then we’re going to have to use the resources here. Harry will have to do, because I can’t do everything, I’m only one man.”

  “Is anyone on staff back at FBI West capable of pulling off the job?”

  Doctor Leonard thought about it. “I don’t think so. We have pretty big shoes to fill. Christina ran Ethan’s show for ten years. She was invaluable.”

  “Yeah, well that was one of the complaints. That and Elizabeth is impossible to work for.”

  Tony snickered from across the room.

  “Laugh it up, bone boy. You’ll find yourself locked in some little room back home doing a mountain of paperwork.” She tried to keep a straight face.

  “This team is pretty resourceful. We’ll get through it,” Chris added, positively. There was nothing that they could do about it for now. Until they could begin interviews, it was just going to have to wait.