Insight

by Tina Engel

  I took both their hands and placed his on hers with my hands surrounding them. I had started to cry also and all of our tears were falling onto our joined hands, mixing together. My hand on the top, onto which the tears were landing was tingling just a bit. I looked down and saw a strange discoloration start to appear on the back of my hand.

  I looked up to see Jordan looking down with a curious expression on his face and a slight grin. Angelina let out a soft gasp as she removed her hand from between mine as Jordan took both my hands in his.

  We watch the backs of both my hands take on the appearance of the shield on my cheeks, a rainbow effect. I touched the back of one hand and it felt like scales. Tiny circular ridges framed the area, covering the backs of my hands.

  Brett pushed Jordan’s hands away, taking my hands in his, and said in a protective and urgent voice, “Let her go, you’re both hurting her!”

  Jordan stood and grabbed hold of Brett’s shirt, lifting him up off the couch and turned him away from me. This action forced Brett’s hands from mine, and it sent a shockwave through my body.

  Angelina put her arm around my shoulders leaning me into her chest as I saw Brett remove his knife from his pocket. Just as Brett was about to swing the knife in Jordan’s direction, Lily appeared in the doorway.

  “Calm down, everyone!” Lily shouted.

  Until that moment, the entire room was filled with chaos, and then all was silent except for the sound of the waves outside, hitting the sides of the ship and sea gulls singing a song that only I could understand, telling each other where food was and who they wanted to share it with.

  Lily entered the room, and as she walked towards me she said in her matter of fact way, “Jordan, let him go, and Brett put that knife away. We don’t need any more liquids flowing right now. There is enough going on at the moment.”

  I found that comment a bit perplexing but was glad to see the angry look in Brett and Jordan’s eyes lessen as Jordan let go of Brett and Brett put the knife away. They both still had overly protective looks on their faces as they tried to stare each other down.

  As Lily knelt down in front of me, she waved her hand in their direction and said, “Enough, both of you! Emily needs both of you, so get over yourselves.”

  Well, this made Rose giggle and as Lily looked at me, she had a small smirk on her face. Brett and Jordan looked embarrassed, but then Jordan put his hand on Brett’s back in a gesture of apology and the air around them calmed.

  Lily took my hands in hers and she suddenly seemed to have a strange glow about her as she said, “This is the next step, Emilee. Don’t be afraid. Tears of love from the ones who made you will start the next phase of your transformation.

  “Remember, you are more than one type of fey, you are many, and they all must develop at their own speed when the conditions are right.”

  I looked down at my hands and as the discoloration disappeared, the tingling continued to spread as it reached my shoulders and then to my back. As my back started to spasm, I felt a panic inside and I stood uncontrollably, pushing Lily back.

  Lily caught herself before hitting the floor, chuckled softly and stood, taking my hands in hers again, she said, “Don’t fight it Princess. Let it take control. It wants to be a part of you, it is a part of you, awakening, after all these years.”

  Lily then said in her matter of fact way, “It would be nice to be shown to our rooms. I am assuming this is where we will be staying for a while. Princess Emilee needs a quiet place to let this part of her transformation complete itself. Rose and Angelina, please join us. The rest of you go find something to do.”

  At that, Lily, still holding my hand, headed towards the door. She looked at Adam and held out her hand towards the door, insinuating he lead the way to our cabin.

  Brett said, “Emilee?”, as if not sure what to do.

  I turned to him and with a smile of acceptance and reassured him that it was alright and that I was okay. I turned back towards the door, and as Lily led me out, Rose and my mother followed.

  We were led down another set of stairs, down a short hallway and into a room. It was a simple room with two beds and when Angelina entered, Lily asked her to shut the door, leaving Adam outside.

  Rose giggled again and Lily turned to her, with a slight smile, but then said with that cat attitude, “Rose, she needs you now.”

  Rose, with a look of pride, knew what Lily meant. Lily pointed to the bed and Rose obeyed without giving any attitude. This was definitely a different role we were all playing.

  As Lily gave orders she continued to shimmer and I could see something behind the shimmer. She was veiled, but why? She was covering herself and I could almost see through this shimmer, but then it stopped. The shimmering glow, which had been surrounding her was gone, and it was just the Lily I knew and loved.

  She was still, however, bossy and told Angelina to help get my shirt off so my back could be free. Now I thought this instruction, a very strange one, but Rose gave me her wrist and Lily instructed me to eat, so I said nothing and ate.

  As I drank from Rose, the irony taste soothed my nerves. Suddenly, an intense pain in my upper back just over my shoulder blades, caused a shock wave that vibrated throughout my entire body. As I removed Rose’s wrist from my mouth, I dragged my fangs across her skin creating a large gash. Rose let out a yell and grasped the open wound with her other hand.

  I stood then as something started to protrude from my back. There was a mirror on the wall across from where I stood and I watched as something spread up and out. Wings! I had wings. The same color that had appeared on my hands earlier, a rainbow shimmery color.

  “Your father’s side of the family.” Was all that Lily said as she got up and headed to the door. As she opened it to leave she said, “It would be a good thing Princess, if you would heal Rose before she makes a mess on the floor, and Angelina, please insist that the princess rests. She can practice with her new additions later.” And she left the room, shutting the door behind her.

  I looked at Rose then, and the expression on her face wasn’t that of fear but excitement as she looked at my wings.

  “Princess, you have wings! We can fly together now. I can teach you!” Was all she could seem to spit out as she held her wrist out for me to heal.

  I wrapped her wrist in my hands and after a few minutes I removed them; her wrist was healed, with just a fine, pink line, where I had cut her.

  I went closer to the mirror and Angelina followed, standing next to me. “They are beautiful.” She said as she touched them gently.

  I could feel her touch. These wings were a part of me. They were beautiful and as I turned to take a better look at my back, my wings hit a lamp and knocked it to the floor. We all laughed an uncomfortable laugh and my mother suggested I put them away for the time being.

  I looked at her with confusion, not sure how, but then just thinking about it, they seemed to disappear into my back, leaving two lines where they entered.

  She smiled as she led me to a bed. I was so tired. As I laid down, Angelina told me to rest and that she and Rose would be here when I woke.

  My thoughts were racing though. How could I sleep? What had just happened and who is Lily, really? I opened my mouth to speak but all that came out was, “Lily?”

  My mother put a finger to my lips and said, “Sleep. All will be revealed when it is time.”

  Chapter two

  Remember,

  Your destiny is yours,

  And yours alone.

  Others have their destiny,

  And it is just as real,

  And challenging as yours.

  He was standing there in front of a grand throne, arms crossed over his bare chest. His glare was intense but there was affection in his blue eyes; a light, shimmering blue. It was him, Proteus. The one I thought was my father and he believed it too, but did he still? How did I know this was Proteus? I had never seen him before, but I knew, somehow, I knew.

  As I looked around th
e grand room I was in, I was in awe of the beauty that I saw. There were large tapestries, pictures of beautiful water fey, great battles, and places I had never seen before; on land and beneath the waters.

  I found it odd, though, I was sure we were in the underwater palace, but the room had no water. All was dry and we were breathing air. Proteus had legs, not a fish tail, like the other water fey that I had seen in Andean’s lake. So this was his true fey form. Was he able to walk on dry land I wondered?

  It was just he and I in the room, and I wondered where everyone else was and why I was here. I knew I was in my dream world again but I was sure that I would be here in this real place, in the near future.

  We stood staring at each other and I was starting to feel uneasy and childlike, (not a feeling I was wanting to show).

  He put his arms down at his sides then and his expression changed to relief and pleasure, as he descended the steps that separated his throne from the rest of the room. His arms reached out and as he approached me, he took me in his arms in a loving embrace.

  I wrapped my arms around him also in an uncomfortable fashion, knowing that I should be hiding my displeasure about being here, better than I was.

  When he released me, Proteus took my hand and led me over to a bench, where we sat. Again I looked around, confused regarding the dry room and his appearance.

  Proteus reached out and softly touched my cheeks, touched the shell that would create a shield around me if need be. His smile was genuine, he knew what it was, who gave it to me and was proud and almost in awe, that this gift was given to me.

  He said then, “Not many receive this gift. It is special and they must believe you are special too. The longer they kept you from me, the more I realized that you were truly the one and I knew you would come back to me on your own.”

  Proteus then put his hand on my back in a fatherly manner and I was ready for his reaction but it was not the reaction I was expecting. He touched the area where the wings had been and would protrude again when the time was right.

  Proteus smiled then, a smile of pleasure as he stood and stepped away from me. I expected shock or confusion but it was as if he was aware of my wings.

  I stood up then as my wings were released, large, shimmery and colorful. I wasn’t afraid, I felt strong and confident.

  “I came here of my own free will, not to stand beside you as my father, you are not my father, but to find out what this place has to do with me and what part you are to play in discovering my true self, and where I belong.” I said, assertively.

  His eyes turned red as his shape started to change, and the room filled with sea water. As Proteus’s legs transformed into a large fish tail, like all the water fey I had met, I became the fey that I was in Andean’s great lake, with one exception, my wings were still outstretched. I understood then, why they were covered in tiny scales, not feathers.

  Proteus smiled eerily then, as he said, “You are the one. He told me you were but I was skeptical until now. She should have protected you better. I know now, seeing your wings, you are not my daughter but you will stand beside me.”

  I opened my eyes to a room, the cabin that I had been in with my mother and Rose, on the ship. As I looked around the room, sitting on the other bed was Rose, tending to her arm, the arm I practically bit off earlier in the day. (Okay, exaggerating a bit!) Standing next to a porthole looking out was my mother, Angelina, seemingly lost in thought.

  I sat up, and the rustling of the blanket beneath me brought her back to this place and Angelina turned around. She smiled a loving smile as she came to stand next to my bed.

  Rose on the other hand, jumped off of the bed she was sitting on, and landed on my bed next to me with a thump. The mattress was a bit springier than she realized and I bounced, almost falling off the bed. Angelina was there to stop me from falling and she gave Rose a look of displeasure.

  Angelina asked me, “How are you feeling after your nap? I heard you talking in your sleep on and off and mentioned Proteus several times.” She had a grave look on her face, as she held her body tight with nerves.

  I had so many questions, but suspected my mother wasn’t the one who had the answers, she probably had just as many questions as I. We had both been living a lie and I felt strongly, that now was the time for answers for both of us. I was to meet this fey, Proteus, but he was powerful and I needed to know as much as I could before I faced him.

  I shared with Angelina and Rose my dream, or vision more likely, and Angelina had a look of sorrow and embarrassment when I was done. I knew she had played a role that was difficult for her, to say the least, and the pain and fear she experienced during the time that I was portraying a human, not knowing the truth, must have been unbearable at times.

  I leaned forward and as I wrapped my arms around Angelina, I whispered in her ear, “We will find the answers together and I understand that you did what you had to, to protect us both.”

  Then I felt it, that vibration that was so calming for me. It was Brett, and then a knock came at the door. As it opened, there he stood with that loving smile and twinkle in his eyes as our eyes met.

  My mother let me go as she turned to see who had come in, and as she looked from my face to Brett’s, I could tell she disapproved. I felt hurt somehow, that my mother would feel this way.

  Brett was there, in my mind again, of course, and his smile turned to a bewildered frown as his eyes fell on Angelina. “Is there a problem?” He asked, as he looked at her.

  She realized that her thoughts were escaping through her looks and as Angelina stood, she said, “There are things that you don’t understand and things I don’t either, but tread lightly with your feelings, for they could cause your future decisions to be even more painful and difficult.”

  I remembered then, that she had special powers too, the sight of the future, even though they might be just fragments or pieces of what is to be.

  She stood then, as Brett suggested we go to the mess hall to eat. Douglas was wanting us all together to discuss what was to happen next, now that we had been at sea for a few hours.

  I reached out, taking Angelina’s hand in mine to stop her from moving away from the bed. I had to ask a question and wanted to ask now before we were with Jordan.

  “You’re not water fey yet you portrayed one for years. You let me go, not knowing where I was, yet stayed with Proteus, pretending. You became his wife even though you knew I wasn’t his child. What kind of fey are you? I know you can see into the future, bits and pieces, yet you didn’t know that Jordan was alive?”

  I wished I hadn’t said anything, as that last question left my lips. The look of hurt on my mother’s face was painful to see. She recovered quickly but not before the look of hurt turned to anger for just a moment.

  Her expression softened then as she said, “I saw Jordan often, in my dreams, but I thought because I missed him so, that they were only that, dreams. I believed that my longing for him was so great that it wasn’t a vision, couldn’t be a vision, I couldn’t hope and be crushed once more...my deep sadness caused the dreams…only dreams.”

  As Angelina said the last few words, a tear escaped from her eye, one tear. She wiped it away quickly, changed her expression from despair to determination and said quietly but firmly, “We do what we must to survive and I knew I must survive for you. I do not and will not regret anything that I have had to do and endure, to keep you safe.”

  She removed her hand from mine, turned and walked to the door where Brett still stood. She turned again and looking at me, said with a hardness in her voice, “Love, a silly emotion, can get in the way and blind you from what you were destined to do!”

  At that, Angelina walked past Brett and disappeared into the hallway. I looked at Rose, still sitting next to me and her head was hanging down, eyes looking at her hands. I could see the uneasiness she was feeling, in her body language.

  Brett, still standing in the doorway, but eyes looking down the hall where my mother had just
disappeared, said in a whisper without looking at me, “She may be right.”

  I couldn’t believe what I just heard, did I hear him correctly? I wondered.

  “What did you say, Brett?” I asked, as I got up off the bed and walked over to him.

  Brett turned towards me then as I reached him and as I tried to search his mind, he shut me out, saying, “Nothing important. We need to see what it is Douglas wants to talk about.

  “Your mother has been through a lot and is trying to grasp the knowledge that Jordan has been alive and suffering all these years and the fact that you are with her now.

  “She has questions too. Her life has been as much a falsehood as yours has been, but even though it had to be this way, it wasn’t easy for either of you. You however, didn’t know until recently, but she lived through it.”

  Brett took my arm as Rose reached the doorway, and he gently nudged me in the direction down the hall, first letting Rose go ahead of us. As he shut the door he again said in a whisper, “She may be right.”

  As we walked down the hall I wondered again, what kind of fey was she, my mother?

  Chapter Three

  If you wait patiently,

  It will all make sense.

  But it is the waiting

  Patiently part,

  That is difficult.

  As we entered the mess hall, the atmosphere was peaceful with quiet voices all around. Douglas was sitting at a table discussing something with Adam, Adam seeming to be intently listening as Douglas spoke.

  Rose was over in a corner talking with a large man, whose back was to us, and as he turned around, I saw that it was the pixie who had been on Adam’s fishing boat. The one that Rose was so smitten with back on Lake Erie. Rose gave me a slight thumbs up, as this pixie was turned my way and her smile was sweet.

  Jordan was sitting at another smaller table with Angelina, holding her hand in his on the table top. They were deep in conversation, not realizing that we, Brett and I, had entered the room.