Our Love

by Vanessa Miller

  “When I woke up Friday morning, I finally admitted that I had a problem. I found out about an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, so I went in there and spilled my guts. I thought I would feel better about myself and stop drinking like Mike did. But I had a beer right after I left the meeting.”

  Tia got up from the couch, rolling her eyes and flapping her hands in the air as she walked to the door. “I’m done with you.”

  Robbie grabbed her arm and said, “No, wait! Let me finish.”

  When it appeared that Tia was going to walk out the door anyway, Yvonne said, “Tia, the least you can do is hear him out.”

  Rolling her eyes again, Tia returned to her seat on the couch.

  Robbie followed her, sat down next to her, and took her hand in his. “When I came to church today and watched Mike go down in that water and then come up looking so free, I realized right then that although I hadn’t been able to admit it when we were in the Bahamas, I need Jesus. And when I went to the altar to give my life to Him, it felt like I was leaving my troubles behind, like the past no longer mattered. And you know what, Tia?”

  “What, Robbie?”

  “I still feel that way. What I did to you was awful. But it’s in the past. All I can do is apologize and hope that you are ready to move forward with me and our baby.”

  “What do you mean by ‘move forward’?” Tia asked.

  “I want you to marry me, of course. I want us to be a family.”

  Tia held up a hand. “Just hold up one minute. Now, this whole speech you just made about giving your life to Christ was wonderful, but I still don’t know if I can trust you with my life—or our baby’s life.”

  Yvonne was so proud of her baby girl. Tia was stronger than she had ever given her credit for being. Thomas had seen the growth in Tia, but somehow, she—her own mother—had missed it. From this day forward, she wouldn’t underestimate her child again.

  “Don’t you get it, Tia? I want to marry you and take care of you and our baby.”

  “Look. Robbie. From what I see, you can’t even take care of yourself. So, you work on taking care of yourself, and then you can come talk to me about what you want to do for me and the baby.”

  “How are you going to take care of a baby by yourself, Tia? You don’t even have a job!”

  Tia stood up again. Her belly was protruding slightly from beneath her form-fitting turquoise dress. Tia put her hand over her stomach as she said, “I dropped out of art school and moved back home with my mom this weekend. And I will be looking for a job starting tomorrow.”

  He stood next to her. “But what about us?”

  “I don’t know.” She quickly turned and walked out of the room.

  Robbie sunk back into the couch and looked at Yvonne. “I’ve lost her, haven’t I?”

  Yvonne stood up and walked over to the couch. She sat down next to Robbie, filled with true compassion for the young man. She put her arm around his shoulder. “Tia still loves you, Robbie. You just need to give her some time to heal.”

  “But I’ve changed,” Robbie declared with fire in his eyes. “I’m not the same man who did those terrible things to Tia. It’s just like Pastor Reed said—Jesus set me free, and that means I’m free.”

  “I believe you, Robbie. All you have to do is stay on this path and lean on Jesus as you get your life in order. You’ve got to do it, Robbie, because my grand baby is depending on you.”

  Tears filled Robbie’s eyes again. “I know, and I promise you that I won’t let him or Tia down ever again.”

  She gave Robbie a hug of encouragement. When they broke apart, there was a knock on the door, and Toya walked in with Thomas following behind. “I found lover boy out in the hallway lurking around, so I figured I’d bust in your office so he could have an excuse to see you,” she said with a smirk on her face.

  Toya must have thought she was quite amusing, but Yvonne did not find her comment funny in the least. “Toya, I really think that was an inappropriate thing to say,” Yvonne told her with a scowl. “What if a church member heard you?”

  “Mama, stop being a grouch. You’ve been crabby all week. What gives?” Toya complained.

  Okay, maybe she had been in a bad mood all week. But that was only because she couldn’t get Thomas out of her mind. One moment she wanted to be with him, and the next she felt guilty for thinking about him. The whole thing was maddening, and she didn’t know what to do about it.

  Robbie stood up. “I guess I’d better go.”

  Thomas walked over to Robbie and held out his hand. “I’m proud of you, young man. Keep walking with God.”

  Robbie shook Thomas’s hand and grinned like a Grammy Award winner. “I will, sir. And thank you so much for what you’ve done for my brother and myself. Tia doesn’t know it yet, but I’m a better man, and I owe it all to you.”

  “Give your thanks and praise to God, Robbie. It is the knowledge of Him that has made you better. Never forget that.”

  “I won’t, sir,” Robbie said as he turned to leave. As he opened the door, he turned back to Thomas and asked, “Can I call you sometime...just to talk?”

  “Anytime,” Thomas assured him.

  Smiling again, Robbie left the room.

  “Now, do you two need a chaperone, or can I go?” Toya asked, looking from Thomas to Yvonne.

  Yvonne picked one of the pillows from the couch and threw it at her. “Get out of here, Toya, and don’t come back until you can control that smart mouth of yours.”

  “Touché, touché,” Toya said as she backed out of the room.

  When the door closed behind her, Thomas shoved his hands in his pockets and gave Yvonne a sheepish smile. “She has a point, you know.”

  Yvonne stared at the floor. She refused to look at Thomas. He was her every weakness, and she wasn’t going to crumble today. Not ever. “What are you talking about, Thomas?”

  “You have been a grouch the past few days. Every time I try to talk to you, you bark at me or you ignore me like you’re doing right now.”

  “I’m not ignoring you.”

  “You won’t look at me, Yvonne. Don’t you think I can tell that you’ve been avoiding me? Just tell me what I did that was so wrong, and I’ll make it right. But talk to me, Vonnie—that’s the only way we are going to get anywhere.”

  I don’t want to get anywhere with you, she wanted to scream at him. But this really wasn’t his fault. He had no idea that she had made a vow of forever love to a dead man, and that she planned to keep that vow until the day she joined David in the hereafter.

  Thomas sat down next to Yvonne and lifted her chin with his hand. “Look at me, Vonnie. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  She saw sadness in those beautiful hazel eyes of his, and she wanted to comfort him, but she was afraid that he would take any gesture of kindness the wrong way. So, she turned away from him again. “Nothing’s wrong, Thomas. I just think that we need to keep our relationship on a professional level.”

  He jerked backward as if she’d just slapped him, then lowered his head and clasped his hands behind his neck. When he looked back up, he asked, “Is that what you want, Vonnie—for us to just be professional with each other?”

  She heard the hurt in his every word. She closed her eyes for a moment and prayed for strength. When she opened them, Thomas was standing over her, waiting for a response. “Look, Thomas. Haven’t we given the gossips and the local news media enough to talk about? You are an international figure. You don’t want this thing to spread any further than it already has.”

  His eyes flashed with anger. “I don’t care what people say about us. I’m in love with you, Vonnie, and I thought that you felt something for me, too. Was I wrong?”

  “I can’t go there with you right now. Just leave it alone, okay?”

  “No, I won’t leave it alone. I need to know what you feel. Can you at least tell me that?”

  “Okay, fine. You want to know how I feel?” She stood up from the couch and got in Thomas’s face. “I
think about you all the time. Does it make you feel better to know that? I hope it does, because it makes me feel guilty—guilty as sin every time I think about you when I promised my husband that I would love him forever.”

  Thomas calmed down, sighed, and gently touched her face. “You have nothing to feel guilty about. Our spouses are in heaven, but we are still very much alive.”

  “But I promised—”

  “You kept all your promises to David while he was alive. You don’t owe him your heart even after he’s gone. I have made my peace with the fact that Brenda is never coming back. I think it’s time you do the same.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. You never cared one way or the other about Brenda, anyway.”

  He removed his hand from Yvonne’s face and stepped back with that wounded expression on his face again. “I cared very much for Brenda. She was my wife. We may not have seen eye to eye on everything, but I tried to make my marriage work.”

  “That’s a crock. You never tried to make anything work; you just ran. You were away from home so much when Brenda was alive that I felt sorry for her.”

  “That’s not fair, Yvonne—”

  “Oh, so I’m Yvonne rather than Vonnie when I’m telling you the truth about yourself?” she interrupted him, hands on her hips. She was spitting venom at him, and she wanted to stop, but it was her only defense against the temptation he caused her.

  “When David was alive, you traveled all over the country, speaking at this conference and that conference revival. How dare you accuse me of neglecting my family when you did the same!”

  She held up a hand, giving him the five-finger disconnect. “Look, David. I don’t want to have this discussion right now.”

  His eyes flashed angrily once more. “My name is Thomas,” he said quietly, then turned and walked out of her office without another word.

  Yvonne folded her arms around her waist and hugged herself as a tear rolled down her face. “I know your name,” she whispered.

  Seventeen

  On Monday, Thomas went to Flint to have lunch with Jarrod. They were seated at Outback Steakhouse, eating their Bloomin’ Onion appetizer, while waiting on the steaks and baked potatoes they’d ordered.

  “So, what’s with the sour mood, Dad?”

  “I’m not in a sour mood,” Thomas said as he tore into the Bloomin’ Onion like it owed him money or something.

  “If you say so.”

  Thomas wanted to talk about anything but his troubles. He looked at his son and asked, “How are things going with you and Missy?”

  “Her name is Marissa, and that ended two weeks ago.”

  Their server came to the table and set a steak platter in front of each of them. They thanked her, and as she walked away, Thomas asked, “What happened?”

  “Let’s just say that she had way too many issues for me. And you were right. She couldn’t cook a lick.” Jarrod laughed after saying that.

  “Just be glad you found out before you got too involved, son. Some women can suck you in by acting all sweet, and then, once they know they have you right where they want you, they flip the switch and bring out their real personality.”

  Jarrod put down his fork. “What happened between you and Auntie Yvonne?”

  “What makes you think something happened?”

  “Because the day I called about the kissing scene between the two of you, all you said was, ‘It was bound to come out’—like it didn’t bother you at all that your business was all over the Internet and in the gossip sections of the local papers.”

  “It wasn’t as if that didn’t bother me, but those pictures had captured the truth. I did kiss Yvonne. So, what else could I do but accept the fact that everyone knew and move on with life?”

  “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. You weren’t disgruntled when you had a right to be. But now you’re in such a sour mood that if you weren’t a man of faith, I’d put you on a suicide watch.”

  “Whatever, Jarrod. I’m not that bad.”

  “Are you going to tell me what happened or not?”

  Thomas had been pushing his food around on his plate, trying to avoid eye contact with his son. But then he came to the realization that he wasn’t fooling anyone, especially not Jarrod. So, he put his fork down and looked his son in the eye. “Yvonne feels guilty about having feelings for me.” Rolling his eyes heavenward, Thomas continued, “I guess she thinks that since David died, she is never supposed to be happy another day in her life.”

  “Did Auntie Yvonne really say that?”

  “Basically. She told me that she promised to love David forever, and that she can’t just go back on her vow because of me.”

  “Wow. I guess I would have been upset if you had found another woman a few months after Mom died. But it’s been two years! And it’s been almost that long for Auntie Yvonne, too.”

  “That’s what I told her, but then she began criticizing me, saying things I don’t even want to repeat. I couldn’t believe that she’d cut me down like that. But let’s talk about something else. Okay?”

  “Hey, handsome number one and handsome number two!”

  At the familiar voice, both Thomas and Jarrod looked up to see Toya standing at their table with a wide grin on her face. Since childhood, Toya had called Jarrod “handsome.” They had this cat-and-mouse game they always played with each other. Thomas stood up and hugged her. “Hey, Toya! What brings you to Flint?”

  “Oh no, Daddy,” Jarrod interjected. “Before you ask her any questions, she has to answer one for me first.” He also stood up and hugged Toya, then pulled out a chair for her to sit in.

  “What’s your question, Bubba?”

  That was Toya’s other name for Jarrod, Thomas remembered.

  “Which one of us is handsome number one, and which one is number two?” Jarrod asked.

  “Oh, you are so conceited. It’s no wonder you’re not married yet. You probably can’t find a woman to put up with that big head of yours.”

  Jarrod put his elbows on the table and leaned closer to Toya. “Maybe I just haven’t dated the right woman.”

  “Sorry, but this beautiful woman is already taken.” Thomas looked up as Marvel came and stood behind Toya, who stood up and took Marvel’s hand.

  Jarrod shook his head. “I guess I missed out again, huh, Toya?”

  “Whatever, Bubba. You were never serious about me, always too busy being a playboy.”

  Thomas picked up his napkin and wiped his mouth. “Toya, you never did tell me what brought you to Flint.”

  “Marvel’s giving me a tour of one of his factories. He wants me to draw up some contracts for him..”

  Thomas eyed Marvel warily. “Well, you be careful, and call me if you need me.”

  Jarrod took that opportunity to take a business card out of his wallet and hand it to Toya. “You can call me, too. No sense in being a stranger when we’re practically family.”

  Toya laughed. “Boy, you better behave.” She took the card from Jarrod’s hand as she said, “But I will take your card, because if my mom and your dad get their act together, we may just need to plan a wedding for them.”

  Thomas didn’t say anything. He merely watched as Marvel put a protective hand on Toya’s back and guided her away from the table. Since Toya’s dad was gone, Thomas felt responsible for her and Tia. And right now, he wanted to rescue Toya from Marvel. But Toya was a grown woman, so he couldn’t simply demand that she stop seeing this man. No matter how wicked Thomas thought Marvel was, Toya would have to see that for herself.

  “Who’s the guy?” Jarrod asked.

  “Someone who is all wrong for Toya,” Thomas muttered. “He’s actually the same man who is trying to get the mayor to take the land the church sits on away from us.”

  “And Toya’s dating him?” Jarrod asked. The tone of his voice said he couldn’t believe Toya would do such a thing.

  “She doesn’t think that Marvel is responsible. But I’ll tell you something else: I
believe he also took those pictures of me and Yvonne.”

  “You want me to go over there and rough him up?” Jarrod asked. “’Cause I’ll do it if you want me to.”

  Thomas had no doubt that Jarrod could take Marvel in a fair fight. Jarrod was the same height as Thomas, and if he had stood up a few moments ago, he would have towered over Marvel. But Thomas knew from experience that Marvel didn’t fight fair. “Trust me, you don’t want to be anywhere near a fight with that man. He doesn’t operate with the same moral code that we do.” Then Thomas grinned and added, “Anyway, you just want to fight him because he’s dating Toya. You had your chance with her when you two were teenagers, and you blew it. So leave her alone.”

  Jarrod groaned. “How many times do I have to tell you that I had no idea Toya wanted me to take her to the prom? If I had known, I wouldn’t have taken that girl whose name I can’t even remember now. But the past is the past, and Toya has grown to be a very beautiful woman.”

  “Yes, she has. She reminds me a lot of her mother. But as I said before, I don’t want to talk about Yvonne.”

  “Look, Dad. If Auntie Yvonne really wants to be left alone, you’re going to have a hard time doing it if the two of you are working together.”

  “You’re right about that. But I can’t abandon her at a time like this just because she’s making my life difficult.”

  “I’m not suggesting that you abandon her. But how about going on a road trip with me?”

  “What kind of road trip?”

  “Business, of course. I have a few accounts to check on. I’ll probably be gone about a week, maybe two.”

  Thomas recalled how Yvonne had accused him of running away from Brenda when things had gotten tough for them. If he took this trip with Jarrod, she would surely think he was running away from her, too. But maybe they needed to spend some time apart. She was so worried about what other people thought and said. If he wasn’t around for a short period of time, perhaps the gossip would cool down, and she would be more receptive to him again.

  “That sounds like a good idea,” he finally said. “I would love to travel with you, son. If I can get back to Detroit before the City Council meeting, it shouldn’t be a problem.”