Our Love

by Vanessa Miller

  “I’m going to be the one working, Dad, not you, so you can leave anytime you need to.”

  “All right, then. I’m going on a road trip with my son! I have a meeting with the governor of Michigan in the morning, but I’m free after that,” Thomas told Jarrod.

  They finished their meal, and when they parted ways, they agreed that Thomas would drive back to Jarrod’s house tomorrow, where their road trip would begin.

  On the drive back to Detroit, Thomas kept thinking about the accusations that Yvonne had hurled at him. Her words told him loud and clear what she thought of him. She believed that he always ran away when things got too hard. And if his previous track record was any indicator, he could see why. After all, he had given up on pastoring his church when it became clear that it could not succeed. Thomas had always felt that God had something else in mind for him, but he’d taken the pastoring route because everyone had expected it of him once he’d finished seminary. So, instead of pursuing the dreams that God had placed in his heart, he had done what seemed natural.

  But what seemed natural for most seminary graduates had been like bondage to him because his heart had been out there—and “there” meant “everywhere.” Thomas had no clue how to go about traveling the world and deliver God’s message while doing it, but while his church had been failing, his trust in God had grown. So, he’d hit the road, visiting churches and making a name for himself. In his eyes, he hadn’t been running away from his responsibilities—he’d been running to them.

  Thinking back on his early days as a traveling minister/motivational speaker, Thomas now realized that he had never really tried to make Brenda comfortable with his new role. He’d simply come home and informed her that he was going to take his ministry on the road. Brenda had cried and pleaded with him not to leave her alone, but Thomas’s position had been that if Brenda didn’t want to be alone, then she should travel with him. Oh, he’d known that she wouldn’t be able to travel while Jarrod was in school, but during the summer months, he’d thought, the three of them could see the world together.

  But Brenda had been comfortable at home and hadn’t wanted to go anywhere. And then she’d tried to make him feel guilty because he wanted to be everywhere but at home. He’d loved his wife—God knew he had. But the truth was, they were never truly suited for each other. Brenda would have had a much happier life if she had married a man more like herself. When she died, Thomas had promised himself that he would never put another woman through the same heartache.

  Thomas had just agreed to take a trip with his son, and he needed to make sure that Yvonne knew he wasn’t running. He would take this trip to allow things to cool off between them, but he would be back.

  As he drove down Interstate 75, he thought about what needed to be done before he left. He would drive to Detroit, pack a bag, then drive to Lansing for his morning meeting with the governor. Then he’d head back to Flint so he could get on the road with his son. But before doing any of that, he needed to talk to Yvonne.

  He picked up his cell phone and dialed her number. The phone rang several times, but she didn’t pick up. Thomas wasn’t sure if she was avoiding his call or if she simply was not near her phone. He was half tempted to hang up before the beep signaling that a voice mail was being recorded. But then, he decided that he had nothing to lose, so he would speak his mind and let her deal with it. “Hey, Vonnie,” he began in a gentle tone that belied his memory of the knock-down, drag-out argument they’d had just yesterday. “I’m in my car, headed back home from Flint. Anyway, I wanted you to know that Jarrod asked me to go out of town with him for a few days, and I told him I would. But I’ll be back before we have to meet with City Council.”

  Thomas knew that Yvonne would think he was running away from their problems as soon as she heard that he was leaving, just as she thought he always did. So, he quickly added, “Did you hear me? I’ll be back, Vonnie. I’m not running, just giving you the break that you seem to need.”

  He hung up, and even though he hadn’t packed his bags yet, he missed Yvonne already. He prayed that Yvonne would get over this ridiculous notion about keeping a vow to a dead man and then learn to live and love again—with him.

  Eighteen

  The phone rang three times before Yvonne even looked at the caller ID. Then she froze. It was Thomas. She felt so bad about the way she’d spoken to him earlier and really wanted to apologize. But she couldn’t talk to him right now. She feared that if she spoke to him, she might just break her vow and declare her love for him. Now she was sorry that she’d ever agreed to let him stay and help her pastor the church.

  Several minutes later, slumped in her couch, she listened helplessly to his message. He didn’t sound angry, even though he had every right to be. Yvonne had had no business saying anything negative about his relationship with Brenda. If Thomas wanted to chase the moon and the stars rather be at home with his family, that was his business and none of hers.

  According to his voice mail message, he had just left Flint, so he was probably in a good mood after seeing Jarrod. But then, Yvonne’s mood quickly changed when she heard him say that he would be leaving town with his son.

  Her heart sank. A moment ago, she’d thought she was sorry for agreeing to let him stay, but now that he was leaving, it hurt to know that she would not see him every day, as she had for the past several months. Two tears escaped her watery eyes and rolled down her face. She would have to let him go. It was for the best. She just wasn’t sure that her heart could bear another good-bye.

  Just as she was about to fall apart, she heard Thomas say, “I’ll be back, Vonnie. I’m not running, just giving you the break that you seem to need.” And even though she didn’t want to, she clung to his words. Because she knew with all of her being that if Thomas said he would be back, then he would.

  She replayed his message because she wanted to hear his soft, baritone voice again.

  About halfway through the message, Tia walked into the room and caught her drooling over Thomas’s message. Yvonne slammed her cell phone shut, turned away, and grabbed the tissue box.

  “Have you been crying?” Tia asked.

  Yvonne wiped her face and then turned back around. “I was just having a moment. Nothing to worry about.”

  “Are you and Uncle Thomas fighting?” Tia asked as she plopped onto the couch, crossed her legs, and pulled her feet up under them.

  “Why would you think that?”

  “Because you look really sad, Mama. I remember from when I was a kid and you would get sad like this. It was always after some fight with Daddy about whether or not you were called to the ministry.”

  “Well, your father didn’t believe that women should preach. And let me tell you, that man infuriated me so much in those days that I wanted to scream. I guess I often did.”

  Tia laughed. “Yeah, I don’t know how many times Toya and I heard you tell Daddy that he needed to step into the twenty-first century and get away from all his backward thinking. Toya would say, ‘She told him.’ And then we would hear Daddy say, ‘Backward or not, Yvonne Milner, I am your husband, and I say that you are not preaching anywhere.’ And then I would turn to Toya and say, ‘He told her.’”

  Yvonne gave Tia a playful pinch. “You were always a big old daddy’s girl. How come you couldn’t have been on my side about that?”

  Tia giggled and pulled away from her mother. “I’m on your side now, Mama, so stop the pinching. You know I hate that.”

  Yvonne stopped pinching Tia as she asked, “But why weren’t you on my side back then? You didn’t believe that women should preach when you were a child?”

  “It didn’t have anything to do with that, Mama. You’ve got to see this through the eyes of a child. You would get so sad after one of those arguments with Daddy that Toya would get mad and say that Daddy was unfair. So, I felt like someone needed to be on Daddy’s side.”

  “And whose side do you think your baby is going to be on in the fight between you and R
obbie?”

  Tia looked away for a moment. When she turned back to Yvonne, her eyes were bubbling over with fresh tears. “I know I’ve made a mess of my life. If I had just listened to you, none of this would be happening right now. But I thought I knew better than God, and now I’m paying for my disobedience.”

  “Oh, Tia.” Yvonne hugged her daughter tight. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. There is entirely too much crying in this house. Remember what Paul wrote in Romans about all things working together for good for those who love God? Well, you love the Lord, and even though you made a mistake, your baby will be the blessing that He brings out of your repentance.” When they pulled apart, Yvonne said, “And you do know that God can help your through single parenting, if that’s what you choose to do, right?”

  Nodding, Tia said, “I know that, Mama. That’s why I’m not rushing to accept Robbie’s proposal this time. I still love him, I’m not going to deny that. But if he really wants us to be a family, then he has to grow up.”

  “Are you hungry?” Yvonne asked.

  “Starving.”

  “Good. Let’s continue this conversation in the kitchen. I took some chicken breasts out of the freezer last night. We can grill them and make a salad.”

  Tia got up and followed Yvonne into the kitchen. “Okay, I’ll eat the rabbit food, but I need some ice cream when we’re done eating healthy. I want a whole bucket of cherries jubilee, or maybe Oreo. Better yet, I’ll take some double chocolate chip ice cream mixed with cherries.”

  “Oh, goodness. I have four more months to deal with you and your cravings? Heaven help me,” Yvonne teased.

  Putting her hand over her belly, Tia said, “Hey, what baby wants, baby gets.”

  “Okay. We’ll go out for ice cream after dinner, but only because my grandbaby wants it,” Yvonne conceded.

  Tia stuck out her tongue.

  Yvonne laughed as she opened the refrigerator door and began to bring out various salad toppings, which Tia arranged on the counter. Then, after heating the grill, Yvonne seasoned the chicken breasts and put them on a platter to take outside.

  “If it’s any encouragement to you, Tia, I do think Robbie is sincere about giving his life to God,” Yvonne said as she washed her hands.

  “I hope he is, Mama. But I’m not trusting anything he says until I see that he has stopped drinking and can keep a job.”

  Yvonne dried her hands on a towel, then came to stand at the counter where Tia was slicing cucumbers and tomatoes. “I’ve been thinking about something,” Yvonne said, leaning forward and propping her elbows on the counter.

  “What’s up?”

  “Well, my publisher wants me to write another book. The idea appeals to me because I need something to do, something to take my mind off of things.”

  “Things? Like a tall, handsome preacher whose voice alone put tears in your eyes today?”

  “Tia!” Yvonne admonished her.

  Tia shrugged. “I’m just sayin’, Mama. Toya and I both see it. Good grief, anyone with a computer can see that you and Uncle Thomas have a thing for each other, with the way he was kissing you and all.”

  “With you being the big daddy’s girl that you are, I don’t understand why you aren’t upset with me.”

  “I probably would be if things hadn’t gone so wrong with me and Robbie. Having to go through that made me realize that you can’t help who you love. And it also helped me to understand that you have every right to have someone special in your life.”

  Yvonne was speechless. She hadn’t expected Tia to be so calm and rational about this. But Tia seemed to be handling it better than she was. When Yvonne was finally able to speak again, all she could say was, “Can we get back to what I was talking about?”

  Tia continued chopping the vegetables. “Sorry for interrupting. Go right ahead—don’t face reality.”

  Yvonne cleared her throat. “As I was saying, my publisher wants me to write a book, and I was wondering if you might like to work on this book with me.”

  Tia’s eyes grew wide, the same way they did whenever something took her by surprise. “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  “You actually want me to work on your book with you? What would it be about?”

  “I think we should write it for young adults, make it something that will help guide them through this tough age...and help them understand why it’s always better to follow God, even if the rest of the world is doing its own thing. What do you think?”

  “Well, I certainly think I have something to say on that subject. I definitely don’t want anyone else to end up in the same position I’m in. So, yes, I’m in!” Tia put down the knife and gave her mother a hug. “Thanks, Mama! I’ve always wanted to write a book, I just never had anything to say before.”

  “You certainly do now, Tia. You really have grown in so many ways through this experience. I believe that you are right in the place where God can finally use you.”

  ***

  Meanwhile, Toya was right in a place of indecision. Marvel had invited her over to his house for dinner and a movie. He’d cooked a fabulous chicken-shrimp scampi, and it was so good that Toya had helped herself to seconds.

  After dinner, Marvel began washing the dishes, and he’d refused Toya’s offer to help. So, she’d asked if she could check her e-mail on his computer. He’d agreed, but he must have forgotten that his own e-mail account was still open. Now, she was staring at an e-mail from Clarence Brown, the former deacon and finance director at Christ-Life Sanctuary, who had run off with hundreds of thousands of dollars that belonged to the church.

  Why would Deacon Brown be e-mailing Marvel, Toya wanted to know? In fact, she wanted to know so bad that she broke the cardinal rule of dating, “No snooping,” by opening the message and reading it.

  Marvel,

  Don’t think the piddling two thousand dollars you brought me today is going to shut me up. I am the one who helped you get what you needed from City Council. I took that money from my church and squandered it because you said you would pay me five times the amount of money I took, just as long as I made sure that Christ-Life couldn’t pay its bills, so that you could convince the members of City Council that you should be allowed to take over that area. As if you were doing them a favor, saving them from having foreclosed property on their hands.

  Just remember, I know everything about you, and I am more than willing to tell City Council—and the mayor himself—all about the undocumented workers you fill your factories with. So, don’t play with me, Marvel. Send me my money so I can leave the country, and you’ll never hear from me again.

  “Are you finished yet, babe?” Marvel called from the kitchen. “I’m ready to put the movie on.”

  “Almost,” Toya responded. She thought that he might come into the office, so she quickly closed Deacon Brown’s e-mail message, signed off of her own account, and shut down the computer. Her mind was racing as she tried to figure out what to do.

  Marvel had said that he’d never told the mayor that he specifically wanted the property where her mother’s church was located. But Deacon Brown’s e-mail indicated that he had not only asked for that land but also conspired with Deacon Brown to ensure that Christ-Life would be in no financial position to fight him off. Marvel was a snake, just like her mother had said.

  Now she needed to figure out what she was going to do about this snake she had allowed into the garden of her affections. Toya had thought that Marvel was for real—that he was interested in her for who she was and what she brought to the table. After all, she was a good catch. She was an attorney who made six figures and had the potential to make millions during her career. Besides that, she was a beautiful black woman who loved the Lord. As far as Toya was concerned, that meant far more than her earning potential. But Marvel couldn’t see her true worth. He obviously just saw her as a pawn in his sick little game.

  Toya had just closed his computer and was turning around when Marvel came to the door and leaned a
gainst the doorjamb. “Are you going to keep me waiting all night, babe? I thought we were supposed to leave business at the door and just enjoy each other.”

  She had been the one to suggest that they leave business at the door when Marvel’s business had started interfering with her mother’s church, which made Toya feel like she was caught in the middle. She stood up and walked toward him, strutting in her Donna Karan pantsuit that touched every curve of her body.

  “Did I tell you how good you look tonight?” he asked, looking her up and down.

  “No,” she said as she stood before him, wishing that she had something heavy in her hand so that she could bash him over the head with it.

  “Well, you do. You look so good, Toya, that I’m always proud to have you on my arm.”

  Toya thought it strange to see no guile in Marvel’s eyes as he spoke those words to her. Did he really care for her? And, if so, why was he trying to destroy her mother’s church? Toya had no clue how Marvel’s mind worked, but she planned to find out. A couple of weeks ago, he had told her that he kept his friends close and his enemies even closer. Well, Toya planned to do the same. “Let’s go watch that movie.”

  “I don’t know,” Marvel said with hunger in his eyes. “Now that I’m this close to you, I think I’d rather be doing something else. Like kissing my lady.” He bowed his head and brought his lips to meet hers.

  She had enjoyed Marvel’s kisses and had even gotten lost in them a time or two. But now that she knew him for the rotten snake he was, his kiss was foul to her. She needed to move away from him before she became ill. She knew she couldn’t move too fast, though, or Marvel would suspect that she was upset with him.

  When the kiss was over, she said again, “Let’s go watch that movie.”

  Marvel sighed. “Always the good girl, huh, Toya?”

  “Actually, Marvel, you have no clue just how bad I can be. But I think I’m going to show you one day real soon.”