Beautifully Broken (The Beautiful series Book 1)

by Tara Lee

  “You drove to New Jersey just to get me these?” I ask, staring him down.

  He shrugs.

  “What?”

  He takes a sip of his coffee, which I assume is black with three sugars, the way he’s always taken it. He used to say it matched his soul, but I think he put it on a little at the start. His soul isn't as black as he let on.

  “How’d you know that I liked that.” I say, teasing him.

  He shrugs again. “I know you, that’s why, Luna I remember when we visited that very first time you went berserk when you saw the shop. Remember, I'm pretty sure we nearly brought them out that day.” He chuckles at the memory.

  Yeah, I had gone a little crazy since we wouldn't be coming back to Jersey anytime soon.

  “Well, thank you?” I take a cupcake out and wrap my lips around it. A moan escapes me, and I can’t help but close my eyes. I sense eyes on me and, sure enough, when I open my eyes, Ethan is in front of me, licking his lips.

  “Fuck, baby bird, that’s the hottest fucking sound a man could hear, and trust me, I picture that sound quite a fucking lot.”

  I bite my lip, slightly embarrassed. He couldn't say things like that. I’m going to cave and forget about our terrible past.

  I sigh, knowing I need to set him straight.

  “Friends remember, Ethan , just friends.”

  He shrugs and comes closer to me. He lifts his fingers, and I freeze when they touch my cheek. He slides them down, and his thumb brushes over my bottom lip and wipes something away. He lifts it to his mouth and sucks.

  “Delicious. Always tastes better off you.”

  Damn him. My inner siren is going to jump him any second. Down girl.

  “Ethan.” I whisper.

  He’s so close.

  “Yeah, friends I remember.”

  He backs away, and I'm thankful for the distance. He has a way of making me into a puddle of stupid. Because I know he can’t be telling me the entire truth. There is no way he’s clean, not for good anyway. I've heard and seen that before. He’d be clean for a week or two then spiral right back again.

  “You want to grab some lunch, friend?” he asks.

  I hear the sarcasm in his voice. For Ethan, this isn’t over, he knows he’ll win me back, he always does, but I'll be honest, I do want him because, well heck, I love the man, but I want him to suffer a little, maybe make him think he’s stuck in the friend zone; after all, he left me all those years ago out of the blue, and I hadn’t seen him in forever until my mother’s funeral.

  “Lunch sounds great, thank you.” I tell him, making my way to my room.

  “You need help changing?” He yells out to me.

  I turn and give him a smile.

  “No, I think I've been doing that successfully on my own for quite some time now, thank you.”

  He chuckles, and it does things to my body. Traitor, I want to hiss.

  “Offer stands when you’re ready to take it, baby bird,” He tells me, that cheeky smirk sitting on his face.

  “Maybe.” I close the door. I hear his intake of breath and I know he's trying to get a hold of himself. Good, let him suffer, because if he thinks I'm going to jump straight into bed with him after all this time, then he better leave now. He needs to show me he really has changed. I'm not giving him my heart, just for him to stomp all over it again.

  “Ready.” I ask once I'm dressed and ready.

  “As I'll ever be.” He winks and opens the door for me and places his hand on the small of my back.

  I want to remove it but I can't bring myself to do it. He walks me to the elevators with a smile on his face. He's breaking down my walls. I can feel it. Bad thing is, so can he. God, I wish I was stronger than this. I need to show him I'm not that girl anymore. He can't just smile and make me drop my panties.

  It's time to put those big girl panties on and make sure he knows I'm in charge here, not him.

  Once we’re out the front of the building, he hooks a left and pulls me with him. He seems to know where he’s going, so I let him steer me. This lunch is going to be one heck of a tease, because I'm already at my wits’ end with this man.

  I had a plan. It was simple, right? Get Luna to agree to lunch with me. I thought it’d take more convincing, but I didn’t have to beg or anything. Luna was different now, that I could tell. She wasn't that same girl I grew up with. She seems to hold onto something,that was clear. I saw it on her face. Will she ever tell me what plagues her mind so much? Will she deem me worthy to ever know?

  I knew she had walls up; she didn’t trust me, not like she used to. I’ll get her there again, though. Little by little, I’d knock those walls down until nothing stood between us.

  I stop in front of the pizzeria I had found earlier in the week. I knew straight away Luna would love it. It has an Italian feel to it and was cosy and kinda romantic. I was hoping this would help with my mission. I never used to be a romantic, but times change, and apparently, so do people, because Luna made me want to pull out all the stops. I know I have to go big or I'd never win her back. I mean, go big or go home, right? I’ve never understood that meaning, but it was starting to make sense now.

  I open the door, and the aroma of pizza fills you straight away.

  “Oh my gosh, this smells amazing,” Luna says, her eyes wide, and she was licking her lips.

  I knew I'd hit the jackpot finding this place. Their pizza is pretty amazing and so was the pasta.

  We find a table, and Luna picked up her menu, scanning it straight away. I can tell she was eager to get some of this food in her belly.

  She places the menu down. I can see her out of the corner of my eye.

  “Why are you here?”

  Her question rattles me.

  “Because of you,” I tell her truthfully.

  “Will you ever get tired of chasing me?” Her breaths are like a shadow of darkness coating my skin.

  “Never.” I grin.

  She smiles at me. It's one of those cute smiles she used to do when she wanted me to do something she knew I hated.

  “We should take a selfie.” Luna says.

  I look up.

  “What?” I mean, don’t get me wrong, I hadn’t been living under a rock. I knew what selfies are, I’ve just never taken one. Yeah, shocker, right.

  “Why?” I look down at my menu again.

  Luna gets up and comes and sits next to me. Her leg brushes mine, and my dick twitches.

  Fuck me, calm down boy. I’m ready to crash and burn with her.

  Her smell hits my nose, and I hold in a groan. She’s so close yet so far.

  She holds her phone up, making me look up. She snaps a photo of us, and I frown when she shows me I look annoyed.

  “Maybe try smiling next time, grumpy.” Luna says, elbowing me gently, letting out a giggle.

  God, what that giggle does to me.

  “I can think of a hundred things I'd like to do with you, baby bird, a selfie isn’t one of them.” I fix my gaze on her as I take in every detail of her face. I never thought it would be possible, but she got even more beautiful over the last four months. I smile over at her as she side eyes me. She knows I’m staring, and I really don’t care.

  “Stop staring at me.” She almost drops her phone but catches it just before it hits the table.

  I place my arm around the back of her, and my thumb accidentally brushes over her skin. Yeah, accidentally.

  “Can’t help it, Luna.” Everything south of my waist feels tight, locked and loaded.

  I somehow slide closer to her. She’s flat against me now, and damn she feels so damn good.

  “Ethan, you promised.” She pleads as she sticks out her bottom lip in what has to be the fucking sexiest pout known to man.

  Yeah, I’m in trouble. Big fucking trouble.

  “I only promised to go along with this silly charade until you were under me, begging and screaming my name.” My voice comes across as stoned and a little broken.

  Her lips ar
e so close to mine now, just a few inches closer, and I can claim those sexy lips. She lets out a soft groan and pulls away faster than lighting.

  She settles herself then she holds her phone up again and nudges me in the ribs when I don't look up.

  “Smile, Mr. Grumpy Pants. We’re friends, and friends take selfies together.”

  There’s that friend thing again. Not for long if I have it my way, baby bird, I want to tell her but decide to keep it to myself.

  “Come on, please.” she drops her bottom lip and pouts again it’s so fucking adorable.

  I roll my eyes. “Fine. For you, I'll take your silly selfie.”

  “Yay,” She yells.

  Luna smiles and does a little dance like she’s proud of herself. She holds her phone up, and I make sure to smile this time.

  Just for her, I think to myself. This is for her, this will make her happy.

  Luna snaps a few photos of us, and then we’re greeted by a waitress. We order a mixture of things to share, and it doesn’t pass me that Luna is still sitting next to me, she hasn’t moved back to her side. My arm still sits behind her. I have made no attempt at moving it, and I don’t plan to. My fingers itch to touch her again. I brush them over the top of her shoulder. Either she doesn’t feel it or she keeps it to herself that she did.

  She’s going through the photos she just took. She's smiling at them, which makes me happy.

  “I am so posting this to Instagram,” She tells me with a smile.

  I nod, showing her I’m cool with that. Not that I know what the fuck instagram is. I mean, I’m not that lame, I have a facebook account, but instagram I’ve never heard of. Maybe I have been living under a rock.

  When our food arrives, Luna wastes no time digging in. I chuckle out loud as she picks up a slice of pizza and takes a big bite, melted cheese clinging to her chin.

  She laughs around her bite and tries her best to swallow and not choke at the same time, as well as trying to clean her chin.

  “Here, let me help you.” I grab a napkin and clean her chin.

  Our eyes meet, and I can’t help but see the smile in Luna’s eyes. We continue looking into each other's eyes for a few moments longer, and I can’t help but feel maybe this is working, I'm slowly knocking down her walls. That is until she breaks the connection and stares down at her plate for a second before she picks up her slice again.

  We continue to eat, Luna being a little more careful this time with the cheese, but I'm hoping she does it again. It will give me an excuse to touch her. God, I’d happily lick it off with my tongue, anything to taste her again, even if it’s not her lips.

  Once all the food has been eaten, I slip my hand into Luna’s, even though she tries her best to pull away after giving in. Because I’m a lot stronger than her, it’s not happening.

  I pull her out of the pizzeria and head down the street. Any excuse to spend more time with her. She brings me to a stop at a shop, and inside the window are puppies. I sigh— oh dear, her weakness.

  “Lets go look.” She drags me into the store before I have a chance to answer.

  She aww’s over the puppies and has to pat every single one. She goes to one in the corner that’s being a little shy, but as soon as Luna pats it on the head, it’s tail starts to wag. She looks up at me with big eyes, and I can see she’s falling in love.

  “Oh my goodness, she’s so cute. Look at her.” She picks the thing up.

  It's a white and brown dog with slightly floppy ears, and I'll admit it’s pretty cute. Luna cuddles it to her chest and kisses its head. The puppy licks her face, and Luna can't stop smiling.

  She sighs, placing the puppy back down. “One day I’ll be able to afford you,” She tells the pup she smiles, sadness in her eyes.

  She walks off towards the door, leaving me staring after her. I stare down at the little pup wagging it’s tail and whining a little at Luna’s departure.

  I have an idea but I know she’d kill me, so I leave it in the back of my mind. For now.

  I catch up to her and wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her in to me.

  “Geez, you walk fast with those little legs.” I tease.

  She slaps my chest playfully and leans her head into my shoulder as we walk. It’s as if we’ve slipped back into a rhythm. Like no time has passed at all. This is what I’ve missed.

  I keep my arm around her, not wanting for a second to drop it. Knowing she was letting me touch her and not freaking out is a plus, because she could very well tell me to get lost any minute, or worse, push me away.

  “One day I’m going to buy you a puppy like that.” I whisper into her ear.

  She stops, and I stop with her. She stares up at me with her eyes big and round. She looks at me like she can’t figure me out.

  “Why would you do that?” She asks.

  “Because I saw how happy you were while you held that puppy and I want nothing more than to see you smile like that again.”

  I brush my lips over her temple, and she sighs. I look down at her, and for a moment I think we’re going to kiss, but she turns and starts to walk off again, leaving me to chase after her once again.

  “You should stay at my place.” I throw the idea out there teasingly, even though I know she’ll turn me down quicker than a nerd gets turned down for prom.

  “Um, no, Ethan, I have a perfectly good bed and I don’t want you getting the wrong idea.”

  “What kind of idea would that be?” I tease.

  She gives me. ‘A what do you think?’ look.

  I smirk; she knows me all too well.

  Besides, a guy can try, right?

  “Well, okay, fine. Maybe another time.” I bump my shoulder into hers. “We could be snuggle buddies.”

  She eyes me with a slight death glare. I hold my hands up in surrender and laugh out loud as she threatens me with her eyes. If looks could kill.

  I walk backwards for a few seconds. My eyes never leave her. She runs her hand through her hair, and it takes everything in me not to stop and do the same. When we reach her apartment, I'm ready for her to tell me goodbye or at least kick me to the curb. The last thing I expect is for her to look back at me and say.

  “You coming?”

  “Of course I am. I was expecting you to tell me to get lost.”

  She laughs, and we make our way up the stairs to her place. As I look around at the peeling walls and dingy carpet, I really wish she’d take me up on my offer and crash with me. This place looks like a fire hazard. I mean, is it even safe?

  Luna unlocks her door and steps inside. Her apartment isn’t much better, but at least the paint isn’t peeling.

  I have a quick look around, making sure her apartment looks safe enough. I know I have no right to question where she lives. I know this is all she can afford, but still, wouldn’t her dad help her out, surely he offered, right?

  “It’s not much, but it’s home, and having Callie here with me makes it a hundred times better.” Luna sits on the couch.

  I stand with my hands in my pockets, taking her in. God, how could she possibly have gotten more beautiful?

  She smiles at me and lifts a cushion and places it over her lap. “What has you so deep in thought?” She leans over the cushion as if she is actually eager to hear my thoughts.

  I dart my tongue out, wetting my lips. I smile back at her and make my way to sit beside her. She sits up when I place myself next to her. “Actually, I was thinking.”

  A piece of hair slips down, covering her face, and since I can’t have that, I reach up, placing it behind her ear. My thumb brushes her cheek, and I don’t miss her intake of breath.

  “What?” Her voice comes out breathy.

  Am I really affecting her that much? I nearly want to jump up and down with joy but I refrain and continue with what I was telling her.

  “I was thinking, how could you have gotten more beautiful.”

  “Oh.” Her mouth stays in an O position.

  My cock twitches, thinking of
how good her mouth used to feel wrapped around it.

  “Yes, oh baby bird.” I smirk at her.

  She moves slightly, and her leg touches mine. Electric waves roll through my body like a tsunami. She still affects me with just her touch. My cock stiffens in my pants, and I will him to calm the fuck down, because no way is she ready for that, not yet at least.

  “You always knew the right things to say?” She says playing with a thread on her top.

  I look down and see that she’s started to fiddle with her hands. She’s nervous, but why?

  “Do I make you nervous, baby bird?” I ask straight out.

  She looks up at me with those big beautiful eyes, and I want nothing more than to never lose this connection, but she looks down, breaking our gaze.

  She sighs.”You always make me nervous, Ethan.”

  She’s biting her bottom lip, and fuck me, now I want to do the same thing, except while my dick is buried deep inside her.

  “Why do I make you nervous, Luna?” Her name is like a whisper on my lips, and I know she can hear how she affects me, too. She’s always had this control over my body. Nothing compares to her trust me. I tried and I couldn’t even get him to stand to attention. It was like he was trying to work his way inside me and hide because no pussy ever came close to Luna’s.

  “Because I know how much you can hurt me?” Her voice sounds sad.

  Fuck it I wrap her in my arms, to hell with keeping my distance. I need this right now, and I think she does, too.

  I hear a soft sob, and I hate myself because I know even though my intentions weren’t to make her cry, she is crying because of me.

  “Baby bird, please don’t cry.” I kiss her hair. “Please,” I beg.

  Her soft sobs fill the room, and I hate every second that she cries.

  She sits up, wiping her eyes, and I can’t help it. I run my thumb under her eyes, drying her tears.

  “Feel better?” I ask.

  She nods, and I give her a little smile.

  She giggles, and I love that sound so much better.

  “Your smile is lethal, Ethan Knight,” she says, smiling at me.

  “I have no idea what you mean.” I wink at her.