The Other Family

by Linda A. Hardy

  “you bet I do, keep going”

  The search listed two children for Margaret and her husband Graeme – son Robin James in 1953 and daughter Lesley Clarinda in 1956, both born in Croydon.

  Next the search for Julia’s children, father’s name Overton, mother’s maiden name Lello, up popped two sons names Eric Peter born in 1960 and David Stuart in 1964 both born in Croydon.

  “well we now know the names of our cousin’s Linds, and their all born in Croydon, they could be living nearby, so who are we looking for, lets write them out properly” said Natalie.

  Margaret Berry and her husband Graeme and children Robin and Lesley, and Julia Overton and her husband Leslie and sons Eric and David.

  “I just need to fill in a form now to order those certificate’s, then we have to wait for the certificates to come in the post, in the meantime lets look in the telephone directory to see if Margaret or Julia are listed”

  “Linds what happens if we should find them listed, what are we going to say, Oh Hi you don’t know me but I’m your long lost relative”

  “I don’t know what I would say to be honest, need to have a think about that, it’s a bit scary really”.

  I got up and went over to the stand in the hallway where I kept the telephone directory and first began looking for Berry, several were listed in the directory, too many to list, but none with the initial M or G Berry, next I checked Overton and found two listed, J.R. Overton with an address in Warlingham and a G.A. Overton with an address in Carshalton.

  “they could be relatives” said Nat

  “I don’t think we should phone them though maybe a letter might be better”

  I sent off for the three other marriage certificates for Charles and kept my fingers crossed hoping one of them would be the right one.

  A few days later the post arrived, a brown envelope containing the three certificates, as I pulled each one out I finally read the correct marriage certificate for Charles William Lello, he had married in 1948 in Reigate, Surrey, to Joanne Elizabeth Bell, Charles listed his occupation as a Policeman.

  How odd though, I thought, he listed his father as Deceased on the Marriage Certificate, Pop was not deceased in 1948, I wonder why that was put on there?, I thought to myself.

  I switched on the computer and once again searched for births, this time for Charles’s children, and found four children, Michael James Lello born in 1950 at Banstead, Surrey, Allan Robert Lello born in 1954 at Reigate, Linda Marie Lello born in 1958 in Croydon and lastly Christina Joanna Lello born in 1960 in Croydon.

  Wow I cannot believe I have all these relatives, I was staring at the computer screen not knowing what to do next when I suddenly realised, what happened to Pop’s wife?, maybe I should check.

  I searched the Death’s on the subscription website and typed in Clarinda Cecilia Lello, thinking Pop must have been widowed and then met Nan Grace, but there was the death entry on the screen starring at me.

  Clarinda Cecilia Lello age 68 death Sept Quarter 1963 Battersea

  What!, that cannot be right, she died after Pop, she couldn’t, how?, I noted the index number and ordered her death certificate. Now what do I do? how do you find someone when you do not know where they are? How do you start looking? In the end I decided to give Nat a ring.

  “Nat I’m going to send a letter to those Overton’s we found in the phone book see if they know Julia, what do you think?”

  “why don’t I come round and help you write it, got to be careful what we say, remember this might come as a shock to them, if they don’t already know about us that is”

  A short while later Natalie was sitting at my dining table and helping me compose a letter, and oh my good dear cousin had only gone and made me a cottage pie, “heating instructions are in the carrier bag with the pie” said Nat

  “I do know how to feed myself you know, I do cook sometimes, just its hard cooking for one”.

  Dear blah blah blah

  “ok Nat now what, this is not as easy as it seems”

  “just keep it short and sweet, and ask them if they know a Mrs Julia Overton, do not have to say too much” said Natalie.

  “how about this then?”

  Dear Mr or Mrs Overton,

  My name is Lindsay Harrison and I have recently began researching my family history, in the course of my research I have discovered that my grandfather has relatives that until recently I never knew of.

  I was wondering if you may be related to a Mrs Julia Overton wife of Leslie Overton and their sons Eric and David Overton.

  If you are able to assist me at all that would be wonderful, thank you.

  Regards

  Lindsay Harrison

  “I think that looks good, we don’t know this Overton person is related so best not to give out too much information” said Natalie.

  “let’s hope we get a reply, think I will enclose a stamped addressed envelope as well, that will encourage them to write back” I said.

  A week later came the reply from Mr or Mrs Overton, I opened the envelope excited to think I got a response and hoping it would be good news, but instead I got “sorry cannot help you, don’t know a Julia Overton”.

  Well that was short and not so sweet, obviously not related, maybe I should try sending the letter to the other Overton listed in the telephone directory and see if I have better luck with them, but in the end decided not too thinking it would be the same result.

  I was stumped, I did not know what to do next and it was at that moment that I remembered Daniel Lello’s letter that mentioned his father John’s cousin Kate Davey, maybe I should write to her I thought to myself, and find out what she knows, I still did not know how she was related, I could not find a Kate in the family at all, maybe she was related to Daniel’s mothers side of the family I wondered.

  Chapter 5

  I sat down at my dining table with pen and paper and started my letter to Kate, my dining table is used for everything from eating my meals at, to writing letters, to using it as a makeshift sewing table when I need to mend something, this table gets a lot of use, my computer is even set up at one of the table only because I do not have the room to put a desk in my living room as well as the sofa and coffee table and television and the mountain of books that I have stacked in a small bookcase and elsewhere around my flat, I really do have too many books but cannot bare to part with them. I decided in my letter to Kate just to tell her everything that I knew about Pop and his wife and three children and also mentioned Pop’s parents names in case they should mean anything to her.

  I noticed Kate lived in Birmingham and as none of my family lived near Birmingham, I still wondered how she was related. I had researched Pop’s brothers and sisters, none of them had a daughter named Kate, so who is Kate?, she is a mystery but I guess I would soon find out very soon I hoped.

  In my letter I asked her how she was related to the family, maybe Daniel just calls her a cousin and maybe she is not a cousin at all but he obviously thinks she is related otherwise he would not of given me her address.

  Six days after sending my letter to Kate I had a reply from her, I had been at work all day and it had been a particularly busy day especially with newly married couples looking at wanting to buy their own home, when I got home from work that evening, I felt so tired I just wanted to soak in a bubble bath and then curl up on the sofa.

  I left the envelope sitting on my dining table, unopened, made myself some dinner, spaghetti on toast tonight, great comfort food, mastering the art of cooking for one is not easy, I always cook too much, and usually put what is left over in a container and pop it in the freezer ready to use for another day, and seriously who wants to spend an hour or more cooking something after you have been at work all day and your feeling tired, so I cooked my spaghetti and sat in front of the television watching the latest news bulletin, all about politics and fighting in the Middle East, I switched it off.

  After eating my plate of spaghetti, I washed up and went and ran a
bath and had a good soak, I could of laid there all night, I was feeling so relaxed and sleepy. After my bath, I made myself a cup of tea and grabbed Kate’s letter and sat myself down on the sofa ready to read her reply, not knowing what to expect.

  Dear Ms Harrison

  I do not know who you are, have never heard of you, however my father was William Clarence Lello, he abandoned me when I was two years old, leaving me to be brought up by his Aunt Mary, I was given to her, back in those days there was no formal adoption as such but Aunt Mary became my mother, just not officially, I was not allowed to call her Mother, it was always Aunt Mary. When Aunt Mary died when I was just ten years of age, I was sent to live with my father’s other Aunt, Aunt Elizabeth, she was married to a Vicar and they were very strict, they had no children of their own. I had a very unhappy childhood, I was not allowed to call them mother or father and they were so old, so it seemed at the time, so much older than my friends parents.

  My father was a wastrel, a scoundrel, he did not care for my mother or my siblings at all so I was informed, I never knew my natural mother after I was given to Aunt Mary, we were always kept apart, my father used to come and visit me every so often and I cried because I wanted to go home and see my brother and sister even though I could not remember them, I never did see them when I was growing up, after Aunt Mary died and I was sent to live with Aunt Elizabeth, father came to visit me only once and never came to see me again.

  I only ever saw my sister Margaret and my brother Charles when our mother died and I attended our mothers funeral, that was in 1963, otherwise I never had any contact with them. My natural mother never divorced my father, so I was informed, as she was a Catholic and refused to give him a divorce so there can be no way he could of married your grandmother, your grandmother was his mistress who clearly stole him from his legal wife, and his children.

  I was born as Julia Catherine Eliza Lello, my family call me Catherine or Kate, I was married to Leslie Overton but he passed away twenty years ago now and I later remarried a lovely man, Edward Davey, I have two sons Eric and David, and one daughter Camilla and have six grandchildren and two great grandchildren. I do not wish to be a part of your family and ask that you do not contact my family, they must never know my true background.

  Regards

  Kate Davey

  I think I have stopped breathing, my heart has stopped I am sure of it, I cannot hear anything, I need a drink, something stronger than tea. I am shaking, maybe I read the letter wrong, so I sit on the sofa and keep reading it, over and over.

  “oh my fucking god, Kate’s my aunt”, I said out loud.

  I cannot even apologise for swearing, I am just so shocked. I cannot even pick up the phone to tell Nat, I am so stunned. I cannot even move. Kate is my aunt, she is Julia but she is now Kate and all this time I have had her address, all along I knew where she was and did not know who she was, why did I not ask John who she was?, damn, see what happens when you forget things, I thought to myself.

  Now what do I do?, surely tracing your family tree is not meant to be this shocking, Pop abandoned her, I cannot believe that, surely not, couples split up all the time, why would Pop send her to live with his aunt? And then another aunt? Why? And my Nan was his mistress, Nan was the other woman, cheeky Nan who stole Pop, who talks like that these days? oh dear, no wonder Kate’s letter seems so nasty, I can almost see her spitting on the paper, she probably blames our family for everything.

  “Pop I need to speak to you, you got some explaining to do“ I said out loud.

  Ok I needed to think, the one time in my life when I seriously needed to think, this is important but what I decide to do next could have serious repercussions for my family and the other family and I needed to think and I felt like I could not think, the one time in my life I need to have a clear head to think this through properly and I was too wound up to think, what I really needed was a good stiff drink.

  I need to think what to do next, do I reply back to Kate or leave well alone? I just did not know, in the end I decided to just leave it for a few days, and calm myself down by not reacting, and then have a think about it. Who am I kidding?, a few days later it is the only thing I can think about and I needed to do something about it.

  I decided to write back to Kate and explain that I did not know who she was until I received her letter, I was not expecting her to reply but reply she did. Kate’s second letter was a bit more friendly, I did not feel as if she was throwing daggers at me this time, but she was still telling me to leave her family alone, she does not want them to know about her background, she had obviously told her own family a completely different story, she did not explain why and I decided not to pursue it any further, maybe one day, but not yet.

  Chapter 6

  I decided to concentrate my search on finding Charles Lello but I could not find him or his children listed in any telephone directory, I next checked the Electoral Roll online but still no joy, I wondered if because of his occupation, with him being a Policeman he is not listed on the Electoral Roll, though people do have the option of being omitted from the public viewing of the Electoral Roll if they so wished, in the end I decided to contact The Salvation Army.

  The Salvation Army has a family tracing service, their office is situated in London and I telephoned them to ask what I needed to do to find a possible living relative, they took my details and sent me out some forms and a questionnaire which I filled in and returned with a cheque, they do charge a fee, but I thought if they find him the fee will be worth it.

  A few days later I received a telephone call from Louise at The Salvation Army in London saying they had received my forms etc and would endeavour to try and find Charles and would be in touch once they had either found him or had any other news on his whereabouts.

  Several weeks went by when one day I got a call from Louise at The Salvation Army saying they had found Charles, I was elated but suddenly felt so nervous, Louise informed me that she could not tell me where Charles was living, as Charles did not want that information divulged but Charles had consented to having his telephone number passed on to me. I jotted down his number and thanked Louise for her help and I noticed from his telephone number that he must be living in London somewhere.

  I decided not to tell Nat just yet about calling Charles, and I have not told her yet about Kate, just wait until she hears about her, this is something I wanted to do by myself, I had made a list of questions to ask Charles and had a glass of water sitting on my dining table and my notepad and several pens, in case they stopped working right at the wrong moment, I also had a chocolate bar for after the phone call as I was feeling a craving for chocolate coming on.

  I wanted to make sure I had everything ready for when I phoned Charles, I wanted no distractions, I was just so nervous all I could think about was “what am I going to say”. My brain was having a non-thinking moment. I dialled his number and it rang about four or five times before it was picked up by a man who sounded to young to be Charles.

  “Excuse me is Charles Lello there please”

  “yes may I ask who is calling”

  “my name is Lindsay, he is probably expecting a call from me”

  The phone went down and I waited for Charles to pick it up, then I heard in a strong rather posh sounding London accent, “could you wait a moment please, my son is just leaving”

  I could not speak, I think I might of just said something intelligible, I hoped.

  “hello this is Charles Lello”

  “yes Mr Lello, this is Lindsay Harrison, the Salvation Army gave me your number”

  “yes so they did”

  “I have recently began researching my grandfather’s family history and discovered that my grandfather William Clarence Lello had a wife and children from a previous relationship”

  “yes he is my father”

  My brain is thinking that he sounds quite distant, cold even, not saying very much, try and keep him talking Lindsay I told myself.

 
“Charles, may I call you that” I did not wait around for him to respond I continued talking, “my family were not aware that grandfather had another family, we were never told, I do not really know why but he obviously had his reasons”

  “my father left my mother and his children for another woman, she was young enough to be his daughter, admittedly Margaret and I were already grown up‘s, not little children, but still he walked out on us for this other woman” Oh god that’s my Nan, I’m thinking.

  “we thought at the time perhaps he was just having some kind of mid-life crisis, that maybe he would come back in which case I am sure my mother would of welcomed him back, but we never saw him again, not ever” Charles continued.

  “that must of been very difficult for you all” I said.

  “yes it was very difficult, especially for my mother, and would you believe it, she, that other woman, even knocked on our door one day, she had come to ask my mother if she could collect some of my father’s possessions from the house, the nerve of it, she upset my mother immensely, Margaret and I were not at home at the time, and mother was all alone with this trollop of a girl”

  What could I say, how do I know that is even true, and anyway my grandmother is not a trollop, I could feel a sense of anger in his voice and to be honest I was feeling that way myself from the way he had spoken, but told myself do not give him a reaction to his anger, keep calm Lindsay. I looked at my list of questions and continued.

  “I just wondered Charles why you put deceased on your marriage certificate next to your fathers name, he was still very much alive at the time”

  “well he was not alive to me or my mother or sister, he no longer wanted to be a part of our lives, so to me he was deceased, we did not know where he was or what he was doing, he could have been dead for all we knew” he said rather gruffly.

  “so sorry to hear that” I said and continued “I thought perhaps you may like to know that your father William, he later had another family” I did not mention my Nan, thought it best not too, “he had six children, my aunt Pauline, William (Uncle Bill we call him), George, Eleanor, Raymond and my mum Barbara”