The Other Family

by Linda A. Hardy

  “really that many, had no idea”

  “your father William passed away in 1963, he is buried in Mitcham Road Cemetery in Croydon”

  “I did not know that, that’s the same year as my mother died”

  “I can understand that this is probably quite a shock to you, it is a shock to us as well, your father never told his family about his wife and children and it was not until I began researching our family tree that I made this discovery so you can see it is a shock to us as well”

  “well yes, we blamed him for leaving, but to have no contact with us afterwards, that was the hardest thing, not knowing why”

  “I was wondering do you know where your sister Margaret is?, I would like to try and find her as well”

  “I do not know where Margaret is these days, we are not a close family, I last saw her at our mothers funeral in 1963, since then I have been busy working and moved around a few times, we did not keep in touch, we were just busy with life I guess”

  “and you have four children, is that right?”

  “yes I do, my children obviously are adults now and I have grandchildren as well”

  “I know that you were a policeman from your marriage certificate”

  “I retired a Senior Sergeant, though once a policeman always a policeman, my children have all done very well for themselves, my eldest is in politics, my other son is a senior member of MI5, the Secret Intelligence Service, both my daughters have married into good families, their husbands come from quite wealthy families, we all tend to mix with the upper class of society”

  Was he trying to tell me that I am not the upper class of society? Or I think it is just me over thinking again, he was sounding rather snobbish, and the Secret Service? Really? I suddenly had visions of James Bond.

  “ah ok, about your sister Kate, she was raised by your fathers aunt?”

  “yes, mother suffered with depression for some time after Kate was born, she found looking after three little children very draining and found it difficult to cope, Kate was also a hyperactive child, always naughty, never doing what she was told, with father at work all day, mother found it a strain”

  “Kate was only two years old when she was given to your fathers Aunt Mary, a two year old I am sure would play up or be wanting attention”

  “yes but Kate was difficult, father thought it best if Aunt Mary cared for her, Aunt Mary had no children of her own, father thought she would be better off with some proper discipline which she was not getting at home from our mother due to mothers health”

  “but what about yourself and Margaret?”

  “we were both quiet children, we managed to occupy ourselves with toys and games”

  “you must of missed your sister?”

  “I do not remember, it was a long time ago now” said Charles, I got the feeling he did not want to talk about it any longer, “I have to go now, my son is taking me out to lunch today, at a very exclusive club in London”

  “yes I understand, it has been very nice to talk to you Charles, I hope we speak again” I quickly rattled off my phone number and told him he could call me anytime and we said our goodbyes.

  My left hand had been holding the phone so tightly that it felt stiff to move it, I felt like that was the most awkward phone call ever, Charles had come across as snobbish, cold, almost sergeant major like, stiff upper lip kind of thing, I felt relieved it was over in a way, I felt as if we had come from two different sides of a railway track, with me from the poor side and him from the rich side and I was not welcome on his side of the track, time to eat my chocolate bar.

  Charles never called me back and I never tried to contact him, a few times I thought I should but I always felt so hesitant. Obviously he did not want to get in touch with me otherwise he would of called me, or maybe he is just like me, feeling hesitant.

  I still did not know where Margaret was and did not want to use The Salvation Army again to try and find her, I was feeling pretty low, two siblings down and one more to go but it did not feel like this was going to be a happy ending.

  Chapter 7

  “Hi Nat its me, your obviously out so when you get some time in the coming days or so maybe pop round and see me, got some family business to tell you about” was the message I left on her answering machine. A few hours later Natalie called me back.

  “Hey Linds been out taking the youngest to the dentist, had to have a wisdom tooth out, god I hate that place, I get nervous just parking outside, what if I come around Saturday afternoon, is that ok?”

  “sure Nat, no problem”

  “is there anything you want to tell me now?, is it good or bad?”

  “well its not bad news but just not the outcome I was expecting”

  “ok, see you Saturday then”

  “yeah right, see you then”

  Saturday morning I got up and made sure I tidied the flat up a bit, Nat’s a bit of a clean freak whereas I am more “well it is not that bad maybe I will hoover the floors next week” after all there is only me living there so I do not make that much mess. Just gone 2 pm Nat was pressing my doorbell.

  “hey Nat come on in” trying to sound cheery.

  I put the kettle on and made us a coffee and even got us some chocolate bourbons, I have been feeling the need for chocolate ever since I spoke to Charles.

  “well Nat where do I start”

  “so come on then tell me, what have you found out”

  “I contacted the Salvation Army to find Charles, they have a family tracing service and well, they found him”

  “well that was good, and where is he?”

  “well I do not know where he lives, in London somewhere I think by looking at his phone number”

  “what you have his phone number?”

  “yes the Salvation Army gave me his number, so I phoned him”

  “you called him, gee your brave, what did he say?”

  “quite a bit actually, it felt like the most awkward phone call I have ever made in my life, I think it was a disaster, I was glad to get off the phone”

  “why is that then?”

  “he comes across as sounding rather cold and snobby and posh like, we’re not upper class enough”

  “that is not very charming”

  “I left him my phone number but he has not been in touch and I am not sure I want to call him again”

  “gee doesn’t sound so good does it”

  “that is not all, remember that letter I got from Daniel and he mentioned a cousin named Kate Davey?”

  “yeah did you work out who she is yet?”

  “oh yes, I know who she is alright, here read her letter”

  I handed Kate’s letter to Nat to read and she sat their literally with her mouth open in shock.

  “Oh my god…. oh my god….my god, do you see what she calls Pop, look at what she calls Nan, what the hell” said Nat

  “I think I fell on the floor when I read them, still can’t believe it”

  “think I need something stronger to drink, Jesus”

  “I have not written back to her since”

  “Pop left his family for Nan, Nan was the other woman, no wonder they are angry, you can see the anger written on the page, no wonder Charles was trying to give you the cold shoulder, what is there to say, we are the enemy as far as they are concerned”

  “all that is left to do is find Margaret but to be honest I am not so sure I want to find her after getting that response from these two”

  “bloody hell Linds, I feel sorry for Pop really, he is the one who never saw his kids again, he must have had his reasons, maybe his ex stopped him seeing them or something, though they were not little kids when he left them but still, maybe his ex told him to keep away and she told her kids something else”.

  “yeah maybe, did not think of it like that, do you think we should tell the rest of the family or not?”

  “I don’t know, what is there to tell them, oh we have found out Pop was married before and you h
ave two half-sisters and one half-brother, one does not want to know us and the other is a upper class snob”

  “yeah maybe your right, maybe it is best not to say anything, just keep this to ourselves” I said.

  As Nat was preparing to leave she told me that Uncle Bill was having the family round on Sunday just for an afternoon tea and get together, it was starting to become a regular event at Uncle Bill’s each Sunday, so she asked if I would be going, I thought I better make an appearance as it had been a while since I had last seen him.

  Chapter 8

  As I headed out my flat on my way to Uncle Bill‘s, Kevin my neighbour from the top flat was just heading in to his.

  “afternoon Kev, you look a bit rough”

  “yeah long night”

  “been misbehaving” I jokingly said

  “oh no, out with some mates at a nightclub then crashed at their place afterwards”

  “fun night then hey?”

  “something like that”

  With that I continued on my way whilst Kevin went to his place, I stopped at the corner shop on the way to Uncle Bill’s and got my favourite uncle a Battenberg cake, I know he loves his Battenberg, well so do I actually.

  “hey Uncle Bill how you doing?” I said to him as I walked into his house and gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

  “hey look it’s our Lindsay, well girl have not seen you for a while, come on in”

  Uncle Bill is a legend in my family, he is so funny yet he does not know he is being funny, he keeps such a straight face all the time and you never know when he is being serious or just joking, I am sure he does it deliberately, yet I sometimes do wonder.

  Uncle Bill’s wife Carol passed away two years ago and since then he has lived on his own, Bill and Carol never had any children but since Carol’s passing, every Sunday some of the family goes and visits him for afternoon tea, and it is not always tea they are drinking, more like a beer or two as well, I am sure Uncle Bill has felt lonely since Carol’s death from breast cancer, it has been a tough few years before she passed away and Uncle Bill was very down for a long time after she was gone.

  “well Linds what you been up to then, still doing that family tree stuff”

  “yeah you know, same old thing at work, keeps me busy, and yes I’m still doing that family tree stuff”

  “how far you traced us Lello’s back then? We related to Royalty yet?” he says with a big grin.

  “I have got our family tree back as far as the 1780’s Uncle Bill, but no we are not related to Royalty” I say with a laugh.

  “so you found anyone rich yet then?, they can come over here next Sunday hey” as Uncle Bill laughed.

  “no Uncle Bill not found anyone rich, or famous for that matter, I am looking for someone named Berry at the moment though”, I could of kicked myself at that moment for letting that slip out.

  “a berry hey, what sort of berry you looking for?, a strawberry, a blueberry, how about a blackberry, so long as your not doing any raspberries hey Linds” says Uncle Bill roaring with laughter.

  “no Uncle Bill you sure it’s not you doing the raspberries” I laugh out loud and we both roar with laughter.

  “which reminds me, I had an aunty years ago, used to call her aunty blue” said Uncle Bill.

  “aunty blue, why aunty blue?”

  “because her name was berry as in blueberry, father used to call her Blue and I called her Aunty Blue” said Uncle Bill, I think my jaw just dropped on the floor, did I hear him right.

  “Uncle Bill, what has your father got to do with Aunty Blue?“

  “I think she was related to my father, not sure how though”

  “what was her first name?”

  “Oh I am hopeless at remembering names, but I remember Aunty Blue probably because of blueberry, don’t know her name, cannot think what it was now”

  “was her name Ann or Mary or Sally or how about Margaret” trying not to give it away that I may already know who she is.

  “oh I don’t know, tell me some more names, might joy the old memory up here” said Uncle Bill as he points at his head, I was trying to think of names other than Margaret.

  “how about Maggie or Meg or”

  “it was Peggy, Aunty Peggy Berry, Aunty Blue I called her, yeah that was it, Peggy”

  “how did you know her Uncle Bill”

  “oh my father, you know your Pop, he used to take me on the train up to London and go and visit her, I would have been about five years old at the time I think or a bit younger, she had a husband who used to do drawings, like design things and there were two children, a boy and girl, cannot remember their names now”

  “where did they live Uncle Bill?”

  “I think it was Fulham, up London way”

  “so when did you last see them?”

  “oh the visits stopped when I started school, don’t think I saw them after that, funny the things you remember hey girl”

  I did not have the heart to tell him who his aunty blue really was, I was too busy thinking how many secrets does this family have. A short while later I made my excuses to leave, feeling stunned by Uncle Bill’s revelation, ready to head home but not before telling Nat I needed to see her in private.

  As I left Uncle Bill’s, Nat offered to give me a lift home in her car, on the way I told her about my conversation with Uncle Bill.

  “you mean to tell me that Uncle Bill knew Margaret when he was a child and thought she was his aunty, when she’s really his half-sister”

  “that’s about it Nat”

  “my god, surely Nan must of known where they were going, who they were going to visit”

  “Yes I would of thought Nan must of known, she would had to of, who lets their five year old son go out for the day and not know where they are going?, Nan would have to know” I said to Nat

  “Yet Pop or Nan never said a word about his family, to no one, why? I just don’t get it”

  “well they told Uncle Bill but he was only a little boy and did not know any better”

  “I wonder if Aunty Pauline or your mum or my mum or Uncle John or Uncle George ever went to visit? or was it only Uncle Bill?, I wonder if we should ask them?”

  “if they did they would probably tell us the same thing as Uncle Bill, he said the visits stopped when he started school, so if the others did go and visit the same thing would of happened”

  “this family are full of surprised aren’t they?”

  “they sure are”

  Nat dropped me off at home and as I entered inside my cosy little flat I thought to myself “well there you go, family often know things without even realising what they know” and I wondered what else they knew about without really realising it.

  I contemplated on what to do next, I did not feel like preparing dinner, I did not want to watch television, I did not feel like reading so in the end I switched on my computer and entered some details into my family tree online and even though I had decided not to try and find Margaret or her family I hoped one day that maybe they would find me.

  Researching your family tree is one thing, discovering your history and the places your ancestors came from is truly exciting but looking for long lost relatives is another, if you expect to be met with open arms and live happily ever after then think again, these people who are family are people you have not grown up with, you are strangers, and no matter how much you want to build a bridge to them and get to know them, sometimes they do not want to help build that bridge to you, too often the space between us is too far apart and you just have to accept that. I was not sure if I wanted to accept that, maybe one day when my spirits lift a bit I might just try and look for Margaret but just not right at this moment.

  As I walk across this peaceful parkland once more, I feel a sense of achievement, I may not of got the happy ending but I did find Pop’s family, they now know we exist.

  As I stand in front of my grandparents grave once again I say, hello Pop, its me, Lindsay, I found them Pop,
I found the other family, your family, and then I had a thought, wouldn’t it be nice to find George, Pop’s father and let John know what became of his grandfather, Pop do you know what happened to your father, do you?, tell me then, come on, talk to me, if only you could talk hey, wish you were here Pop.

  As I wandered back out of the cemetery my only thought was, right George where are you? why don’t your family know what happened to you?, come on Linds we got some more searching to do.

  Chapter 9

  Sitting back in front of the computer, I pulled out all my research and looked to see what information I had on George, my great grandfather, I noticed I had not found him on the 1901 census, so I needed to check that, I do not know why I had not thought of looking for George at the time of finding Carolyn and her children on the 1901 census, but I was a bit of a novice at this researching when I first began, and now I knew to check everything and anything and leave no stone unturned.

  George Lello was born in 1855 in Clerkenwell in London, he worked as a butcher, as did his father, George senior, George married in 1879 in London to Carolyn King, daughter of Frederick and Elizabeth King.

  I searched for George on the 1901 census and found him living in Mitcham in Surrey not far from Croydon, he was still working as a butcher but living with him was a woman named Louisa Alice Turner, and relation to head of household she was described as a friend. Ah friend hey, I bet that is his girlfriend more likely is what I was thinking.

  Louisa is not with him on the 1911 census as George is with Carolyn, so I thought I would check to see where Louisa was on the 1911 census, I tried searching for Louisa Turner, no luck, Louisa Alice Turner, no luck, so I then had a thought, lets try Louisa Lello.

  Lol and behold, I found her, calling herself Louisa Lello, wait a minute if she is calling herself Louisa Lello, then did she marry George? I was thinking to myself. I looked at the census, Louisa was living in Wimbledon in South West London and described herself as a widow, and she had three children, three children with the surname Lello, all were born in Mitcham.