Finding Freedom

by Omid Scobie

  Despite scaling back on a few engagements (at the request of Prince Harry and Kensington Palace aides, who felt she should pace herself), the four-months pregnant duchess showed no signs of faltering. “Pregnancy is an often-tiring time,” said the New Zealand prime minister, Jacinda Ardern, who spent three days with the duke and duchess during the tour. “But the way she gave everything her all was incredible. She’s an amazing woman and I’m so glad to have gotten to know her.” (The couple have stayed in regular contact ever since, exchanging emails and even meeting up again at Kensington Palace on January 21, 2019. Meghan regularly wears the earrings Ardern gifted her in New Zealand—a pair of simple gold studs with a feather engraving on each by the kiwi musician and jeweler designer Boh Runga.)

  Unfortunately, life was not going to get any more relaxing when Meghan returned from tour.

  17

  Duchess Different

  Between her pregnancy announcement and flawless engagements on her first major royal tour, Meghan finally enjoyed a few weeks of very good press. But that streak came to a crashing halt on November 10, when the Mail on Sunday issued the first in a stream of damning stories. Harry and Meghan’s assistant, Melissa Toubati, had reportedly quit after just six months on the job. The paper quoted a senior aide, who stated that Melissa, hired by Kensington Palace in March, was a “hugely talented person [who] played a pivotal role in the success of the Royal Wedding and will be missed by everyone in the Royal Household,” and alleged that Meghan was a bad boss.

  One week later, the Mirror followed up with its own story on Melissa’s abrupt departure, reporting that Meghan had reduced the assistant to tears on several occasions. “She put up with quite a lot. Meghan put a lot of demands on her, and it ended up with her in tears,” an unnamed source claimed. “Melissa is a total professional and fantastic at her job, but things came to a head and it was easier for them both to go their separate ways.”

  The tabloids’ name-calling (“Hurricane Meghan” and “Me-Gain”) and unflattering descriptions of her behavior (“Getting up at 5 am, bombarding aides with texts, and her eyebrow-raising fashion”) didn’t show any signs of letting up.

  Meanwhile, Harry and Meghan were concerned why nothing was being done by the Palace to counter the misleading negative stories about Melissa leaving. According to multiple sources familiar with her sudden departure, despite the glowing press accounts, the couple had grown dissatisfied with Melissa’s work and were not disappointed when she left. Meghan wondered if someone at Kensington Palace, where Melissa had some good friends, was more interested in protecting one of their own than her.

  At their lowest moments, Harry and Meghan appreciated the support of the #SussexSquad, their global fandom who support the couple online. The passionate supporters, men and women from all backgrounds, regularly defended them from negativity in the press and pushed the Sussexes’ activities into the top Twitter trends. Inspired by Harry and Meghan’s charity work, the “Squad” has even gone on to launch initiatives of their own, such as the #GlobalSussexBabyShower to raise $50,000 for children’s charities and planting 100,000 trees around the world in the couple’s names. “To see that support and positivity means a lot,” Harry told a friend.

  Despite the swell of grassroots support for the couple, Harry and Meghan continued to fuel controversy. When the Palace announced on November 24 that despite the ongoing renovations on Apartment 1 at Kensington Palace, the newlyweds were going to relocate to Windsor, it launched a whole new round of criticism in the media.

  After months of press speculation that Harry and Meghan would move out of Nottingham Cottage and into the Duke and Duchess of Gloucester’s home adjacent to William and Kate’s Apartment 1A, royal watchers were surprised to learn that the couple were moving miles away. Twenty-two, to be precise.

  “The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will move to Frogmore Cottage on the Windsor Estate early next year as they prepare for the arrival of their first child,” the Palace announced of their new home, located a stone’s throw from Windsor Castle and just yards from Frogmore House, where they had held their wedding reception and engagement photoshoot. “Windsor is a very special place for Their Royal Highnesses and they are grateful that their official residence will be on the estate.”

  The Queen took great pleasure in gifting homes to her family members, a senior aide said. Her Majesty gave Sunninghill Park to Prince Andrew; Bagshot Park to Prince Edward and Sophie, Countess of Wessex; and Anmer Hall to William and Kate. “It’s her thing!” the aide added.

  Frogmore was perfect for Harry and Meghan, given its connection to Windsor—except it wasn’t next door to William and Kate and their children. That was enough to set off a narrative of “Dueling Duchesses” that launched two days later. On November 26, the Telegraph reported that the previous February, Meghan had left Kate in tears following a bridesmaid fitting for Princess Charlotte. “Kate had only just given birth to Prince Louis and was feeling quite emotional,” a source said. On November 28, The Sun added to the vague story by claiming Meghan’s “strict demands” caused Kate to cry.

  A source, who was at the mid-May fitting and has never discussed what really happened until this book, said that stories about tears have been “puzzling” to those who were present. “Some of the children weren’t cooperating, and there was a lot going on. Everyone tried to help where they could, but it’s never easy with kids at fittings. There were no tears from anyone. And in the end, the fitting was fine. Kate and Meghan were both a little stressed but professionals in the room, and there were other people there, including Clare [Waight Keller], Melissa, and two Givenchy assistants.”

  Those close to Meghan questioned whether it could have been someone from the Palace or a former employee behind the story and wondered out loud why aides refused to just set the record straight there and then. “There are people, whether they work with the family or are members of the family, that know that a lot of this stuff isn’t true, and aren’t allowed to say anything, like that ridiculous story about Meg and Catherine, about the bridesmaids dresses,” a trusted confidant shared. “That story was ridiculous and so false.” At the time, though, a Kensington aide said only that the women, who were both hurt by the accusations, were “very different people.” (Several aides across the Royal Households now confirm to the authors of this book that there was no fitting that left the Duchess of Cambridge in tears.)

  Meghan would agree with that assessment. Their relationship hadn’t progressed much since she was Harry’s girlfriend. Although Meghan might have understood Kate’s wariness to strike up a meaningful friendship at that point, she was now a fellow senior working member of the royal family and the wife of William’s brother—and still they were no closer. Flowers for her birthday were nice, but Meghan would far rather have had Kate check in on her during the most difficult times with the press.

  Refusing to address incorrect rumors only helped to reinforce them. Traditionally, the Palace had no comment when it came to rumors, but the Sussexes felt they weren’t afraid to bend the rules if it was to correct a story about higher ranking family members. (Case in point, a spokesperson went on the record in July 2019 to deny the claims of a cosmetic clinic that Kate has had “baby Botox.”) Harry and Meghan were frustrated by this approach, since it didn’t seem they enjoyed the same support.

  In this case, the duchesses were not the best of friends. But they also were not at war with each other either. There were awkward moments, such as the day the women happened to cross paths at Kensington Palace (in early 2017, when Harry and Meghan were still only dating), and although both were headed out to go shopping—on the same street—Kate went in her own Range Rover. The truth was that Meghan and Kate just didn’t know each other that well. Although some aides claimed at the time that they “talked and texted regularly,” by the time of Harry and Meghan’s wedding, the sisters-in-law had spent only a handful of occasions together.

  No workplace is perfect. In the rarefied world of the monarchy,
the pressure could be insane. So were the internal politics between the three different households, which often seemed in competition with one another. Such were the interests between Buckingham Palace, Clarence House, and Kensington Palace that even royal watchers on social media started snickering when it appeared the households were scheduling events and social media posts on the same day to outdo one another. “There has always been competitiveness between the households,” admits a senior aide. “That will never change.”

  Palace staff admitted frustration over the negative or untrue stories appearing day after day in the British tabloids. Yet it could hardly have come as a surprise that leaks were happening internally. One courtier privately bragged to friends at their ability to place a story, positive or negative, in any publication at the click of a finger, and another told a respected newspaper editor that he could “handle anything after putting up with one of Meghan’s temper tantrums.” Several staff described to the authors of this book the atmosphere inside the three households as “competitive,” “miserable,” and “full on.”

  The root of the problem didn’t rest completely with the household staff—some of it came from the princes themselves. The rift that had begun when the Duke of Cambridge first questioned the pace at which his brother’s relationship was moving had only widened now that Harry was married.

  William and Kate’s feelings seemed obvious to the Sussexes that summer and beyond. Among all the friends and family Harry and Meghan hosted at their house in Oxfordshire, the Cambridges failed to visit during their time living at the house. “The invite was there,” a source said.

  It was a far cry from how Harry had envisioned his future. The younger prince once told a friend he had an image of getting married and spending time with William and Kate, the two couples together, their children best friends.

  The friction between the brothers was one of several reasons Harry wanted to base his family in Windsor. “He wanted to get away from the goldfish bowl that was Kensington Palace,” a source said. “Everywhere you turn you’re surrounded by staff and family. He was at a point in his life where he was working with his brother, doing the foundation with his brother, and living by his brother. It was too much.”

  But the press continued to save its harshest criticism for Meghan. One story had her demanding spray-bottle air fresheners for her wedding day to spritz around “musty” St. George’s Chapel (the Queen’s regular place of worship, which contains the Royal Vault), horrifying Buckingham Palace officials. The truth was that the discreet Baies scented air diffusers for the chapel provided by Diptyque—much like the candles from the same brand that Kate chose to scent Westminster Abbey for her 2011 nuptials—had been okayed by all parties involved.

  Another story in December had a “furious” Kate intervening after Meghan “bollocked” a member of her staff. The Kensington Palace staff member was rumored to be deputy communications secretary Katrina McKeever, who had left the Palace after five years to explore new opportunities. Even Kensington Palace didn’t understand the bizarre story. Katrina left on a good note with the Sussexes, who sent her a handwritten letter and huge floral arrangement when she left.

  A week later, The Express reported that Palace staff called Meghan “Duchess Difficult,” a title she has been unable to shake off to this day. No sign was too small to be considered an act of defiance—even her black nail polish and the one-shoulder gown she wore to the British Fashion Awards in December, where she presented Clare Waight Keller with the prize of British Designer of the Year. A photo booth snap of Meghan, Clare, and the actress Rosamund Pike posted to the British Fashion Council’s Instagram account was taken down within two hours. A Palace source said, “It was a private memento that was never meant to be shared.” A British Fashion Council source, however, said the organization took down the photo because of the deluge of racist comments posted underneath.

  The columnist Richard Kay (once Princess Diana’s favorite reporter) quoted a source, who sniped, “There was something ostentatious in the way she posed holding her bump, plus she was wearing dark nail varnish that the Queen hates.”

  Princess Diana had worn red nail polish and off-the-shoulder gowns. Princess Eugenie painted her nails in a Union Jack flag manicure to celebrate the Queen’s Jubilee in 2012 and wore a similar plum shade to Meghan’s at a Serpentine Galleries party. Even Kate, who normally toes the line, had a pedicure in red at one event. While most of the time the Windsor women, including Meghan, stuck to neutral tones, they made exceptions if the occasion was appropriate. There was no nail polish protocol.

  The indignation over Meghan’s nail polish was indicative of a bigger issue. It was open season on Meghan, with many looking for anything and everything to criticize. “Duchess Different,” a close friend of Meghan’s said, “that’s what people have a problem with. She’s the easiest person in the world to work with. Certain people just don’t like the fact she stands out.”

  A number of courtiers believe there were some working in the institution who were biased against Meghan because she was an American and a former actress. There are inherently different working styles between Americans and Brits. Americans can be much more direct, and that doesn’t often sit well in the much more refined institution of the monarchy. Sometimes the American matter-of-fact tone in British society could be viewed as abrasive.

  “This is a script that wrote itself as soon as you knew that an American actress was coming into the royal family,” another aide added.

  Meghan felt like some of the commentary and tabloid stories were more than a culture clash; they were sexist and prejudiced. If a man got up before dawn to work, he was applauded for his work ethic. If a woman did it, she was deemed difficult or a bitch. The double standard was only exacerbated when it came to successful women of color, often labeled as demanding or aggressive.

  On December 3, Meghan was in the audience at London’s Southbank Centre when Michelle Obama, in town to promote her memoir, Becoming, said, “What happens to black women is that we become a caricature . . . People will take the things from us that they like. Our style, our swag becomes co-opted, but then we’re demonized. We are angry, we are too loud, we are too everything. And I experienced that. How dare I have a voice and use it.”

  Case in point: in February 2019, Meghan came under attack by the press and commentators again when she wrote encouraging messages on bananas to Bristol’s street sex workers during a royal engagement. Standing in the kitchen of the One25 charity, an organization that helped vulnerable women break free from street sex work, addiction, poverty, and violence, the duchess had just watched a volunteer prepare food parcels to be handed out the same day to vulnerable women working on the streets. Sharpie in hand, Meghan picked up a banana from each meal bag and started carefully writing messages of support: “You are strong.” “You are amazing.” “You are loved.”

  It was an unexpected move that touched the hearts of staff at the nonprofit charity, whose mobile outreach van provided support to around 240 local sex workers in the city’s red-light district each year. “I saw this project this woman had started somewhere in the States on a school lunch program,” Meghan said, recalling the story of a cafeteria manager who worked at Kingston Elementary School in Virginia. “On each of the bananas she wrote an affirmation, to make the kids feel really empowered. It was the most incredible idea—this small gesture.”

  For the sex workers, it was a kind gesture. Said one speaking anonymously, “We feel invisible out here, and although it seems silly, to be acknowledged and to see words I don’t hear very often, it meant a lot.”

  The message wasn’t heard the same way by everyone. One tabloid sent an undercover reporter to try to obtain one of the bananas from One25’s van, and The Sun called the gesture “offensive.” Piers Morgan—who regularly attacked the duchess in over 100 opinion pieces and interviews after not receiving an invite to the wedding—said she was making a “mockery” of the monarchy and prostitutes. A Daily Mail columnis
t printed this sentiment about the sex workers: “They are not special: they know this every time they have sex with a man for money.”

  Meghan was disgusted by the coverage. “These people are animals,” she told a friend.

  “They’re nothing but trolls,” added Harry.

  Royal protocol required Meghan to stay silent and resist defending herself no matter how much she might have been offended. So, when The Sun reported a front-page story in April 2019 about the Queen “banning” her from wearing jewelry that once belonged to Diana, she had to remain silent. Again.

  “Aspects of Meghan’s behavior, including before the Royal Wedding, caused resentment with forces within Buckingham Palace,” the tabloid alleged, referring to inaccurate reports of Meghan’s tyrannical style, including refusing to use the Queen’s staff for most aspects of her wedding, like the flowers or cake. Meanwhile, according to the article, Kate was allowed to wear whatever she wanted: “It is at the discretion of the Queen and trusted advisors which items in the Royal Collection she chooses to loan out and to whom.” But what the source clearly got confused, however, is the fact that the Royal Collection doesn’t own any of Diana’s collection.

  Both Meghan and Kate had worn a number of the iconic pieces associated with Diana, which after her death had been passed on to her sons or the Queen, depending on whether they had been privately owned or gifts in a royal capacity. Kate wore to state dinners the Cambridge Lover’s Knot tiara, which Diana had worn many times in her life. Meghan was seen on the royal tour to Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, and Tonga wearing Diana’s butterfly diamond earrings and a sapphire bangle bracelet.

  This wasn’t the first time that supposed squabbles over the jewelry had emerged in the press. The Sun reported Meghan had her heart set on “a tiara with emeralds,” believed to be the Grand Duchess Vladimir tiara for her wedding and not the tiara Queen Mary wore on her wedding day. Smuggled out of Russia after the 1917 Revolution and purchased by Queen Mary in 1921, the tiara is one of the most elaborate in the collection. Worn by both Princess Diana and Queen Elizabeth, it was refurbished to include interlocking circular rings of diamonds with large emerald and pearl drops hanging from each circlet.