Finding Freedom

by Omid Scobie

  Due to the hanging jewels, the tiara is sometimes confused with the Cambridge Lover’s Knot. Made by the House of Garrard for Queen Mary in 1914 from pearls and diamonds already owned by her family, the Lover’s Knot tiara was modeled after a headpiece owned by her grandmother Princess Augusta of Hesse. After Queen Mary died in 1953, the crown was passed down to her granddaughter Queen Elizabeth II.

  The Vladimir tiara, however, might have appealed to Meghan because the color green was incorporated into several aspects of the wedding (the couple took their engagement photos in the Green Drawing Room, and for the wedding, the Queen wore a green dress and Doria a mint suit). A source involved with elements of the wedding planning said, “At some point during early planning there could have been talk about the ideal tiara having emeralds in it.”

  However it’s not true that Meghan demanded another tiara after her selection with the Queen—a rite of passage for royal brides. Since she became the monarch, Queen Elizabeth II has loaned statement pieces to all royal wives, including Camilla and Kate. According to a high-ranking aide, “Her Majesty takes great joy in being able to offer a little something” for important events and enjoys being part of the process, which usually involves the sovereign picking out designs for special occasions like state dinners and other formal engagements. “She will often have something in mind,” the source said.

  What was different with Meghan’s selection was that Harry tagged along. The couple, who had been engaged and living together in Kensington Palace for almost four months, arrived at the reception room in Buckingham Palace, where they were then escorted down a secure elevator, forty feet below the palace, to the large vault where five tiaras had been assembled for display ahead of the couple’s appointment in February 2018.

  While typically self-assured even in the most intimidating of situations, Meghan was nervous about trying on priceless pieces of jewelry, some of which have rarely seen the light of day. There was nothing in her Southern California childhood, acting career, or evolution as a feminist advocating for women across the globe to suggest comfort with diamond-encrusted diadems. That was unlike the Queen, who, in the words of her late sister, Princess Margaret, “is the only person who can put on a tiara with one hand, while walking down stairs.”

  Before the meeting, Meghan had spoken to Clare Waight Keller, who had already started designing her sculpted wedding dress. “They had an idea of what would work,” a source said of the designer and bride’s tiara choice, “but weren’t sure of what the final options would be. It was a case of waiting to see what they were presented with.”

  They looked through archival images of different tiaras they liked from photo archives, but ultimately none of that mattered since they knew the choice was not theirs to make. To borrow one of these tiaras was a privilege and gift, and like most gifts, you took what you were given.

  Each tiara is stored in its own safety box within the vault, a basement room about 150 feet long that is split into sections. The large space—its size, proof of the extent of Her Majesty’s collection of hundreds of tiaras, brooches, necklaces, earrings, and other jewels—is not sparse or cold, like a bank’s vault. Instead, it’s well-lit, like a showroom.

  Crown Jeweller Mark Appleby—the one to lay out the tiaras for display (attaching jewels that had been stored separately in little pouches and attaching the center stone of Queen Mary’s diamond tiara)—was not present in the room for the meeting, because it was an extremely personal and intimate moment. But he was on standby if any assistance was required or there were any complications. All the workstations for the crown jeweler’s staff were empty, as no one other than the curator of the Queen’s jewelry, Angela Kelly, was on hand to present the tiaras to the Queen and Meghan, as she had done with the Duchess of Cambridge and went on to do with Princess Eugenie.

  With the official title of Personal Assistant, Advisor, and Curator to Her Majesty the Queen (Jewellery, Insignias, and Wardrobe), Angela was the only person other than the crown jeweler who had access to Her Majesty’s personal jewelry collection. From the way each stone was polished to the placement of the matching bracelet, rings, necklace, and tiara upon the pink fabric–lined tray with a lace-trimmed cover, hand-sewn by the monarch’s grandmother Queen Mary—it was clear how much care Angela put into their maintenance.

  While gloves were normally worn when handling tiaras, Angela—who was also responsible for the basic cleaning of the Queen’s jewelry before and after it was removed from the vault—chose to go without so she could have a better grip on the often-priceless pieces.

  With the Queen and Prince Harry looking on, Angela presented five different tiaras for Meghan to consider. Although the Queen was a great conversationalist, as was Meghan, who became particularly talkative when she was nervous, everyone was quiet as they focused on the task at hand.

  Angela had presented various options to the Queen before the meeting. Her Majesty then offered her own thoughts until she and Angela had whittled down the choices to five. With Meghan seated in front of a full-length mirror, each tiara was carefully placed upon her head, until a decision was made.

  While the headpieces were usually held in place by a satin band or hair clip, they didn’t do a proper fitting that day since bringing in a hairstylist would have detracted from the intimacy of the personal moment. There was plenty of time later to do a full hair trial, Angela explained, which included trying different ways to hold the tiara with pins and making Meghan nod her head to see if it moved. That day was all about the tiara, and one outshone all the others as it rested on her dark hair.

  It was Queen Mary’s diamond bandeau tiara. Crafted for the late Queen Consort in 1932, the tiara centers on a brooch of ten diamonds given to her as a wedding gift by the County of Lincoln in 1893. The large detachable brooch sits within a sparkling platinum band of eleven flexible sections pierced with interlaced ovals and pavé set with large and small brilliant diamonds. While it was not a favorite of Queen Mary’s, who wore it for less formal events, Meghan said it “stood out.”

  The Queen agreed with Meghan upon her choice of tiara for the wedding. Meghan tried on all five but knew right away which one she liked best. “It was a special moment for both of them,” a Palace aide shared.

  When more than a year later the story broke about Meghan demanding a different tiara to wear on her wedding day, she called a friend and said, “How sad, I love my tiara.”

  While the papers got it wrong about its source, they weren’t wrong about the fact that there had been a conflict during Meghan’s wedding preparations. There were no disagreements with Meghan and the Queen about the tiara. The dustup was between Angela Kelly and Harry.

  It all began in late March, when Meghan’s hairstylist Serge Normant flew from New York to London to do a hair trial using the tiara they had chosen for the wedding. The pair had hoped to visit Buckingham Palace to meet Angela, who would have handled the tiara just as she had done when they picked it out with the Queen.

  Except no matter how many requests were sent by Kensington Palace, the Queen’s personal dresser didn’t respond. After several failed attempts, Angela’s availability remained unknown. Harry was furious.

  Angela—who started as one of the Queen’s dressers in 1993 and quickly worked her way up the Master of the Household’s department to senior dresser and then first personal assistant—had an especially close relationship with the Queen. One of the few people allowed to touch the monarch, Angela has been the Queen’s right-hand woman or, as some say, her “gatekeeper,” for more than a decade. Her Majesty has often visited Angela’s “grace and favor” house in Windsor, and when the two are alone, Buckingham Palace staff can hear their laughter from all the way down the hallway.

  Like most senior staff at Buckingham Palace, Angela is on call should Her Majesty require her service—and at the time of the first hair trial requests, she had apparently been busy at Windsor Castle, where the Queen was based for Easter Court. But as the weeks went by, and the req
uests from aides working for Harry continued, a time for Meghan to try the tiara had yet to be scheduled.

  Harry, while obviously familiar with Palace protocol, didn’t believe that Angela was truly unavailable. Instead, he thought she was purposefully ignoring Meghan. What followed between the prince and Angela was a heated exchange that was far from the typical restraint expected. According to a source, Harry had no problem confronting the issue head on. “He was fed up,” said the aide.

  With the wedding just a few weeks away, the lack of tiara hair trial continued to be an issue of contention. Members of staff at Kensington Palace just weren’t able to get in touch with Angela to make it happen. People were frustrated—and confused. Why was it so hard to set up a time for Meghan to try the tiara with her hairdresser? In the end, Harry had to speak to his grandmother about the situation. And she got her trial.

  A senior Buckingham Palace aide insisted that Harry was simply being “oversensitive” when he accused Angela of trying to make things difficult for his fiancée. But a source close to the prince said nothing could convince Harry that some of the old guard at the Palace simply didn’t like Meghan and would stop at nothing to make her life difficult.

  18

  Brothers Divided

  High-ranking aides across all three royal households were so alarmed at the press coverage and speculation on social media about a rift between the brothers and their wives that they began openly discussing the impact it could have on the monarchy if things weren’t righted. For months headlines had focused on the fractured relationships between the two couples. And the chatter on social media was just as loud. The whole situation was so out of control, a source said, “even the Queen was concerned.”

  Courtiers attended a retreat in the spring of 2019 where the concerns were openly discussed. “We need to design a system to protect the monarchy full stop,” one said. “It’s no secret, the future of this monarchy relies solely on the four people currently in Kensington Palace. The public popularity only lies with them . . . When he [the Prince of Wales] becomes King, the only way it lasts is if the four of them are not at war. We cannot have them at war.”

  “Harry was upset that it was playing out so publicly and that so much of the information being reported was wrong,” a source said. “There had been moments where he felt people working with his brother had put things out there to make William look good, even if it meant throwing Harry under the bus. It was a confusing time, and his head was all over the place—he didn’t know who or what to believe, and he and William weren’t talking enough either, which made everything a lot worse.”

  This was by far the most damaging development because it echoed the period in the mid-1990s, during the breakdown of Charles and Diana’s marriage, when the press and the public began to openly question the longevity of the monarchy. Despite protests from courtiers that the brothers were on solid footing, the rumors wouldn’t subside

  On March 14, 2019, Buckingham Palace announced that William and Harry were going their separate ways by separating their offices.

  “The Queen has agreed to the creation of a new Household for The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, following their marriage in May last year. The Household, which will be created with the support of The Queen and The Prince of Wales, will be established in the spring.”

  Harry and Meghan’s household had been an open secret since November. Aides were quick to insist it was a natural progression. The princes were no longer “the boys,” as Diana had called them; they were men with very different personalities, personal styles, and future constitutional roles. As a spokesperson put it, they were on “divergent paths.”

  Everyone believed that the brothers getting much-needed space from each other would go some way to repairing their relationship. “It is very hard that they share work together,” a courtier said. “That’s not normal in a family. That will at points, of course, create some tension.”

  Prince Charles, who funds many of his own public, charitable and private activities through the revenues of his private estate, the Duchy of Cornwall, “controlled the purse strings,” which also caused some of the issues between William and Harry. The brothers sometimes had to vie for additional funds for projects from their father, who also helped cover expenses related to Camilla and some of those for his sons (including Kate and Meghan’s wardrobes). “They actually genuinely have to debate who gets what amount of money from their father to fund their projects,” an aide said. “Add in the fact that there is an inherent hierarchy and that is really tricky.”

  “While Charles may be a father to Harry, he’s also their boss, and that makes their relationship complex for a number of reasons,” a source added. “Charles is extremely focused on his public image, and there have been times Harry has felt that has taken precedence over everything else.”

  Harry wasn’t the only one who had a complicated relationship with the Prince of Wales. “The boys can be hot and cold with their father,” disclosed a source, who gave the example of planning the photo session for Charles’s seventieth birthday, which they called “an absolute nightmare.”

  “Neither William nor Harry made much of an effort to make themselves available,” the source said.

  A second aide, who had been involved in meetings on the brothers’ futures, explained, “Where you are born in this family dictates your position of power, and because of that, Harry has always come second to his brother, especially when it comes to funding. There were times in the past that Harry wanted to take on bigger projects and do more work, but he couldn’t get the money to support it. William was always the priority. A lot of their quarrels have been over budgets. That’s what happens when you are in business with your family.”

  Prince Andrew and Prince Edward didn’t share a working arrangement with their older brother, Prince Charles, so they didn’t experience the same tensions as William and Harry. It was understandable that Harry didn’t want to be in his brother’s shadow now that he was starting his life with Meghan, courtiers argued.

  Harry and Meghan wanted to create their own individual household in Windsor, meaning their own office staffed with their own team, who would be separate from all others. But senior officials quickly ruled out that option.

  The senior courtiers who Diana used to refer to as “men in gray suits” were concerned that the global interest in and popularity of the Sussexes needed to be reined in. In the short period of time since their fairy-tale wedding, Harry and Meghan were already propelling the monarchy to new heights around the world. The Sussexes had made the monarchy more relatable to those who had never before felt a connection. However, there were concerns that the couple should be brought into the fold; otherwise, if left as they were, the establishment feared their popularity might eclipse that of the royal family itself.

  “To palace officials wondering how to handle the couple there was another figure who looms large when you think of young women using a royal platform for global charitable crusading: Harry’s own mother,” the political editor Tim Shipman wrote in the Sunday Times, quoting a source as saying, “The danger to them is that Meghan is going to be bigger than Diana.”

  Meghan did not enjoy universal support within the institution of the monarchy and some of the British tabloid media painted her as a threat, but she had been widely embraced by the public. For people of all different backgrounds, at home in the UK and abroad, Meghan was a trailblazer—a woman who confidently inhabited a realm that had once been considered off-limits.

  Feminists praised her continued focus on women’s empowerment through the power of her new royal patronage. On January 10, 2019, Meghan announced her commitment to Smart Works, a British organization dedicated to helping women improve their employment opportunities through mentoring and providing professional wardrobes. She had worked privately with the program as a volunteer, coaching clients on such things as their interview skills and suit choices. Its founder and former British Vogue fashion editor, Juliet Hughes-Hallett, spent seve
ral months getting to know the duchess before the announcement, and she was impressed by how hands-on Meghan was from her first visit in March 2018. “Meghan was excited and wanted to get involved from the very beginning,” she said of the royal’s involvement with the program, which has helped thousands of women find jobs since its 2013 launch. “What struck everyone the most was her empathy and how good she was at making the women feel safe. Plus, she’s great fun to be around.”

  The announcement coincided with a public visit to the charity’s West London base, where from the moment Meghan arrived, poking her head around the door of their back office to say hello to some of the staff she had gotten to know so well, it was clear she fit in. “It’s not just donating your clothes and seeing where they land but really being part of each other’s success stories as women,” Meghan said while helping curate donated pieces for a mom of three, Patsy Wardally, a trained plumber looking to reenter the workforce after raising her autistic daughter. The interview coach Marina Novis, who spent time with the duchess during her many visits, said, “It’s amazing seeing her talking to the candidates because she really listens and asks very pertinent questions. Last year [before her wedding] she was talking to us about confidence, and then we asked, ‘How do you manage with confidence?’ She said, ‘I’m about to take on a big role, happening now. The most important thing to do is to just breathe and have that inner confidence about it.’ ”

  Meghan brought that confidence to all four of her patronages, including the two handed down by Her Majesty: the National Theatre and the Association of Commonwealth Universities (ACU), which brings together universities and academics from over fifty countries to advance knowledge. “She is passionate about the impact the arts can have, whether it’s social prescription to do with health or to do with community building,” the National Theatre artistic director Rufus Norris said. “And what a lovely way to bring together her experience in a world she knows so well into her new world.”