Side Chick Catching Main Chick Feelings 3

by B. M. Hardin

  Just as we were about to order, Lee Lee walked in.

  She was smiling from ear to ear.

  She chatted with the others for a second and even spoke to the kids and then she looked at me.

  “There are no hard feelings between us right?”

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  “Nope.”

  “Good. I told you that he and I had something real anyway. It was only a matter of time before he came back to me. Better sooner than later,” she said.

  “Yeah. I guess so huh.”

  She filled our other sisters in and after they showered her with negativity and their comments, finally I asked her a question.

  “So I have a question. Why didn’t you ever tell me about you and Drake?”

  She looked at me as if I’d just committed a sin or something.

  “What?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that you slept with Drake?”

  Chardonnay and Velvet looked back and forth between us.

  “Who told you that?”

  “He did. The night that he died. I just never mentioned it. But now, I want to know. Why?”

  She looked as though she didn’t believe me.

  Then she shrugged.

  “Because he said that it wasn’t important. He’d said that I wasn’t important and what we’d shared meant nothing to him. So what was the point?”

  It was something about the way that she said it.

  It made me feel so uneasy.

  “He only ever loved you so there was no point in saying anything. It was an accident.”

  “I’m your sister. You were supposed to tell me Lee Lee!”

  “Why? Some things you just don’t tell. And hell even the things that you do, some people don’t believe you or listen to you anyway and you spend your life with a pain that you can’t quite understand and telling some damn therapist your problems when truth be told, he can’t help you. You needed your mother to help you. But she didn’t.”

  What?

  All of us looked at each other confused and then back at Lee Lee.

  “Daddy’s friend Franky raped me when I was seven. You had a fever. Velvet and Rum weren’t in the picture just yet of course. Anyway, Daddy and Mama had to rush you to the hospital and left Uncle Franky there with Chardonnay and I. Chardonnay had fallen asleep on the couch and I headed to watch TV in the bedroom. After a while, Uncle Franky came to check on me. But he did more than just check on me.”

  We all were in tears, except for Lee Lee.

  She just had a weird, blank look on her face.

  “He raped me. I tried to scream for Chardonnay, but he covered my mouth.”

  Suddenly Chardonnay gagged and Velvet patted her on the back.

  “I heard you.”

  Lee Lee looked at her.

  “What?”

  Chardonnay kept her head down.

  “I heard you. I came to the bedroom door and saw what he was doing to you.”

  “What? Why didn’t you help me?”

  Chardonnay looked up at her.

  “Because I didn’t want him to do it to me. I went back to the couch and pretended to be sleep,” Chardonnay sobbed.

  Lee Lee finally started crying.

  “I needed you. I needed you to help me.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  The waiter came back to the table and looked at us all confused.

  Finally, Lee Lee cleared her throat.

  “Well, after that I told Mama, but she didn’t believe me. She’d said that it wasn’t nice to make up stories that could get people in trouble. She told me to never repeat it and not to tell Daddy. She didn’t even check me out. She simply told me to go to bed. I prayed extra hard that night that something bad would happen to Uncle Franky and it did. The next day, he was dead.”

  Poor Lee Lee.

  I felt so bad for her, and I was so emotional that my heart felt like it was about to explode.

  “So, I carried my secret with me and forced myself to believe that something like that was normal. I forced myself to believe that what had happened was okay. I told myself that men wanted sex and as a woman, it was my job to give it to them. So, you see, I learned at a very young age how to give away my goods, and keep my mouth shut. Drake made it clear that I was nothing but a piece of ass to him, just like most of the other men in my life. Well, except for Kane. He never asked for sex. He just wanted to know me. That’s how I know that he’s my soul mate.”

  I wanted to tell her that he just thought that she was crazy and didn’t want to have sex with her for that very reason but I didn’t say anything.

  “No one has ever been that way about me. Well, I guess if you don’t include Vicki’s crazy ass.”

  “Don’t forget your soon to be ex-husband,” Velvet grunted.

  “Oh, the Aaron guy was a lie. My therapist referred me to a mental hospital for a while because he’d thought that I was showing signs that could potential cause harm to myself. So instead of being forced, I voluntarily committed myself for a while.”

  What?

  So she really was crazy.

  “Wait. So you never married and moved to Kuwait?”

  “No.”

  “So it’s more than just anxiety going on with you?”

  “Depression as well. I suffer from paranoia too.”

  I knew that she was still leaving stuff out but I didn’t say anything.

  “I’d tried to address things as an exercise suggested by my therapist. I talked to Drake, before he’d died, about how having sex with me and throwing me away contributed to my behavior towards love, men, and sex all of those years. He listened. But he didn’t understand.”

  Is that why she killed him?

  I wanted to ask her so bad but I didn’t.

  Not in front of the other girls.

  The conversation had gotten so intense, so I took it back in another direction.

  “So I guess any man that wants me, you just have to have him?”

  “No. I had Drake first if you want to be technical. You guys were just friends. And with Kane, like I said, it’s different. We have something deeper. Without sex. We just have a connection. If anyone can understand that then it should be you.”

  She grabbed Velvet’s water and took a sip of it.

  Though I still wanted to know so much more, I didn’t ask anything else.

  For some reason, nothing else mattered anymore.

  I felt so bad for her.

  I wished she had told me and I would have helped her through it all.

  Back then, we were so close.

  She was supposed to have told me what was wrong with her and what was bothering her.

  I hated that she’d gone through it all on her own, and it made me angry that Mama hadn't believed her and that Drake had actually done something like that to her and to me.

  But there was one thing that was clear.

  I wasn’t staying here.

  I was going with my other sisters.

  I was getting away too and leaving Kane and Lee Lee to do whatever it was that they chose to do.

  I stood up and walked around the table.

  They all looked at me as though they didn’t know what to expect.

  I bent down and kissed Lee Lee on the cheek and hugged her.

  “I love you Legacy.”

  Truth be told, despite all she had done, having sex with Drake and setting him up to be killed and all, I really did.

  ~***~

  Kane was texting me over and over again.

  All he said was how much he missed me and how bad he wished that he could see me.

  He said that he was being mean to Lee Lee but she hadn't tried to get away from him as of yet.

  I couldn’t only imagine what he was doing to her.

  And I wanted to tell him to stop.

  I felt kind of bad knowing that he was just entertaining her long enough until I could pack and get my babies out of town.

  But after all she’d said I kne
w that it was the best option.

  And I also knew that I didn’t want Kane to come with me.

  She was so stuck on him being the one, that with everything that she’d told us, and with what she’d said to Kane, and what Kane had saw, I knew that she was probably crazy enough to try to do something to me.

  And I just couldn’t let that happen.

  Everyone was gearing up to move at the end of the month.

  Chardonnay and Velvet had mentioned their moves to Lee Lee but I hadn't.

  My plans were to stay far away from her; at least until she found a new obsession.

  Even once we got there, whenever Lee Lee came to visit, I planned not to go around.

  I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to be in her presence again.

  She was my sister and I would always love her but I could do without her.

  I had done it for many years, and considering all of her secrets, some still unknown, and what she and Drake had done to me, to be honest, I just didn’t want anything to do with her anymore.

  Texting Kane back, I promised that we would meet up in a few days.

  I was planning to tell him that I was going away and that I was leaving him behind.

  I don’t know what we were thinking in the first place.

  As I looked around the room, I thought about Drake.

  He hadn't been the man that I’d thought that he was at all.

  He definitely had a lying problem.

  Maybe Mama had been right about him all along.

  He was bad for me and now I could see it.

  I couldn’t help but think how my life would have turned out if I had never become more than just his friend.

  I would have never gone to prison.

  I would probably be a nurse and somewhere happily married.

  I wouldn’t have endured half of the heartache and troubles that I’d gone through over the last few years.

  My life would have been so much better.

  He’d had sex with my sister, and in return she has always secretly hated me because he chose me.

  And neither of them had cared enough to tell me the truth.

  Drake had been toxic.

  I couldn’t see it then but I could see it now and for the first time I didn’t miss him anymore or love him so much that my heart hurt when I thought of him.

  I was glad that he was gone.

  I was glad that he was dead.

  He’d gotten just what he’d deserved and I managed to smile about that.

  That night I slept better than I had in months and I for the first time, I was fine with sleeping all by myself.

  ~***~

  “You going somewhere?”

  Kane looked around at all of the boxes.

  I’d rented the kids and I an apartment in Ohio and we were all leaving out that next morning; in only about eight hours to be exact, so this conversation had to go rather quickly so I could get some rest.

  The movers were going to get our things and bring the boxes and everything else in a few days after we were already there.

  We would be staying at Chardonnay’s new house since it was already furnished and ready to go.

  “Yes. I’m leaving Kane.”

  “Without me?”

  “Yes. It’s for the best. After all that I have been through, I just want to leave it all behind. I want to start over.”

  Kane looked at me and pulled out the ring.

  “Let me start over with you. Lee Lee is done. She put me out of her house tonight. She said that I’d changed and that I wasn’t for her anymore. Your plan worked. Now we can be together.”

  I shook my head.

  “No. I don’t think so. I thought that’s what I wanted, but it isn’t. I just want to be free.”

  “And so do I. Let me be free with you.”

  “After all that Lee Lee told me, I just think it’s best to just go in different directions.”

  “No Moet. I love you. Okay. I’m saying it. I love you. I want to be with you. And I know that you love me too. I’m not Drake and I’m a lot to handle sometimes, but I can love you if you let me.”

  Kane took the ring box out of his pocket again.

  He got down on his knee.

  “Let’s start over. I know all of your secrets. You know all of mine. Let’s leave and do any and everything that either one of wanted to do. Marry me Moet,” he said.

  I looked at him with a smile.

  “Kane, I can’t. I just can’t.”

  He hung his head.

  “Okay. Okay,” finally Kane mumbled, standing to his feet just as there was a knock at the door.

  Kane headed to it.

  It was late but I knew that it was probably the old lady from across the street.

  Some nights she couldn’t sleep and she would come over to talk if she saw the lights on.

  “But Moet,” Kane was talking as he opened the door, but his talking ended abruptly.

  As Lee Lee put a bullet in his head.

  I was so in shock that I couldn’t even scream.

  I just stood there and looked at Kane as his body hit the floor.

  She kicked his legs away from the door and shut it behind her.

  She kept the gun pointed at me.

  “He was playing me. You both were. I read his text messages while he was asleep. He didn’t want me. He was just doing it because you told him to.”

  “Lee Lee put the gun down.”

  “I thought that we had something special. He was so different you know. I really thought that he was going to give us a chance but he didn’t love me. He loved you. They always love you.”

  I shook my head as she came closer.

  “That’s not true. Put the gun down so me can talk about it. Come on, you’re not going to shoot me Lee Lee.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “So you’re going to shoot me? Just like you shot Drake?”

  “I didn’t shoot Drake. But I know who did.”

  “Why?”

  She smirked.

  “Ask him when you get there,” was the last words I heard her say.

  And at the sound of the gun going off, I knew that it was the last words that I would ever hear…

  Forever….

  ~***~

  Moet’s Funeral…

  I managed to shed a single tear.

  Her casket disappeared and Velvet squeezed my hand.

  Chardonnay stood still.

  She wasn’t surprised by the situation, since she knew that it was coming.

  I’d told her that I was going to kill Moet.

  And I wasn’t worried about her ratting me out.

  I’d promised to split part of the money that I’d stolen from Drake’s stash with her, so she was set to go.

  Money could make a person do or accept crazy things.

  She just happened to be one of money’s suckers.

  Especially since she had that nasty drug habit and owed so many people money.

  Folks always wondered why she worked so much but I’d always known that it was so that she could maintain her habit as well as her bills. If she hadn't worked the way that she had, one of them would have lacked, and I was sure that it would have been her lively-hood.

  And getting the money just made it worse.

  She’d snorted way too much, smoked way too much crack and it was actually started to show.

  She looked like a rich, well dressed crackhead, if there was such a thing.

  Still yet, she’d known that I was going there to kill our sister that night, and she hadn't tried to stop me.

  And she hadn't called to warn Moe.

  She wanted that money.

  I’d overheard Drake and Daddy talking one day while I was hiding in the basement from Vicki.

  I wasn’t sure if he’d forgotten that I was there, or if he thought that they were talking low enough to where I couldn’t hear them, but I had.

  I’d heard all of their dirty little secrets.

  The pl
an of how they’d stolen the money.

  Daddy confessing to killing Naomi.

  And even Drake’s confession of tampering with Jinx’s car which had caused Kane’s accident.

  Once I was out of hiding, I started following Drake.

  I’d followed him to the secret house that he and Daddy said that no one knew about.

  I knew that the money was there but initially I was going to try to use everything that I’d heard to make him leave Moe for me.

  I’d tried to talk to Drake.

  I gave him one last chance to remember the moment that we’d shared.

  He’d used me and threw me away like I was nothing.

  He’d acted as though I wasn’t worthy of his love but I knew that I could be.

  I could love him better than Moe if he would let me, and I would keep all of his secrets.

  But he’d laughed in my ear that day on the phone.

  My visit to his job was to tell him that I was going to tell Moe what happened between us but when Moe popped up, I didn’t get the chance.

  It wasn’t until on my way home that day that I decided that he had to die.

  I was tired of people hurting me and treating me like I was nothing.

  Hell, ask Mama.

  I’d been the one to switch her pills with some of mine and caused her heart attack; the one that had taken her out.

  I’d had nothing to do with the first one.

  I’d tried to talk to her about the rape and she’d told me that she didn’t want to hear it.

  And then she’d started talking about Moe like I hadn't said a word.

  Everything was always about Moe.

  Even when she wasn’t speaking to her, she was always worried about Moe.

  But what about me?

  That little slideshow bullshit was just something to throw Moe off.

  I actually kept all of the pictures to remind me of the love that was supposed to have been mine, before she came in and stole it.

  I would look at the photos for hours and pretend that they were of me and Drake instead of the two of them.

  Anyway, I headed to the Drake’s secret house one day to find his stash.

  It wasn’t easy but I knew that I had to think outside of the box.

  It took me about two hours but I found it.

  I knew that Daddy would assume that any events that followed were from the man that they stole the money from.

  I already knew that it had been Kane breaking into their houses.

  He had been doing it for the hell of it.