“How would you like to go stay at my other place for a few days? It’s closer to my work, and maybe you’ll be able to get a good night’s sleep again.” She had just sat a plate, overflowing with pancakes, sausages, and eggs on the table and was in the process of sitting down.
“Don’t you think they’ll just follow us there?” She watched as I loaded my plate with home cooked goodness, slapping butter on, and pouring syrup over everything.
“That place already has a decent security system. Plus, I’m gonna install some cameras here. Hopefully, we’ll know who it is before the week’s up. And if we leave during the day, I’m pretty sure they won’t even notice we’re gone.”
She nodded her head and grabbed a single pancake and sausage and placed them on her plate. “But what about your truck? They’ll see that it’s missing.”
“I’m gonna spread the word that my truck is out of commission and at the shop. If it’s anyone I work with, they’ll expect it to be gone. Plus, I haven’t used my other car for anything since I got it. It’s just sitting in the garage there. It was going to be my exit vehicle. One I knew would be safe and untraceable.” Realizing I’d said too much about my past, I began shoving bite after bite into my mouth.
“Exit vehicle?” Unfortunately, she was following the conversation closely and didn’t miss a word.
“Yeah, someday soon I want to leave this job and everything here behind. Start fresh somewhere new.”
Her eyes, always so big and beautiful, transformed as she squinted questioningly at me. I could see the wheels spinning in her mind, trying to put the pieces together.
“You look surprised.”
“Well, I am. I guess.” She took a drink of orange juice and sat the glass down slowly. “I mean, you have this cabin and another house. I just assumed you were pretty settled down here.” The look of fear and worry crossed her face before she could mask it. It made me wonder what my words could mean to her to cause that reaction.
“It’s just time. My job isn’t something noble or hell, even something I’m proud of. I just want to live in peace for once.” I was doing a horrible job explaining. Even my words were becoming laced with anger simply from the thoughts that plagued my mind. “You know you’ll be coming with me, right?” I paused with my fork halfway to my mouth, the pancakes and sausage overflowing and hanging precariously before me. “I mean, it’s not really an option, but I hope you don’t mind coming along?” Shoveling the delicious bite into my mouth, I was thankful for something to shut me up. I sounded like a bumbling teenager. After all the times I’d practiced having this conversation with her, this was nothing like what I’d prepared.
“Oh.” Her shoulders drooped and her focus returned to the few bites of food that remained on her plate.
Stabbing a few more pieces of food with my fork, I watched her push hers around the syrup on her plate. It was obvious that we needed to have this talk, regardless of how uncomfortable it made me feel or how it made me look like a fucking asshole. After finishing the last few bites, I glanced up to find her watching me. The lost look was almost more than I could bear. I had no idea how she was able to crawl under my cold, dead skin and worm her way into my shell of a heart, but she had.
“Gwen?” She was just about to stand when I caught her attention. “Listen, I need you to know that if I could, I would let you go anywhere you wanted. Back home. A new home. A friend’s home. Whatever. If I thought you’d be safe, you’d be on your way in a heartbeat.”
I thought I’d done good, but the sadness radiating from her was unbearable. She looked forlorn, like I’d taken away her puppy or something. “I can’t really go into more detail than I already have, but you’re stuck with me until this threat is gone. Okay?”
“So, you want me to stay because it isn’t safe yet?” she asked, her lower lip quivering slightly.
“You. Anyone you are with. Anyone you cared about. They’d all be in danger. I won’t let that happen.”
I couldn’t tell if that was the answer she’d wanted or not. She nodded and grabbed her plate, briskly standing and taking it to the sink. A moment later, she grabbed my plate and added it to the others, running water over them to rinse them off.
Assuming it was hard for anyone to lose their freedom, especially after all she’d already been through, I couldn’t stop myself from trying to reassure her. Pushing my chair back, I turned sideways and watched as she washed the dishes. It amazed me how something so simple could be so erotic. The way the growing suds enveloped her arms, the wet slickness that coated her skin when she’d lift her hands to rinse a dish. It was pure insanity, yet tantalizing and seductive. Adjusting myself, I forced my wayward thoughts aside and focused on what we’d been discussing.
“Can I ask you something?”
Without stopping, she continued washing a plate, turning her head briefly to agree. “Sure.”
“If you could leave and go anywhere now, where would you go?” I didn’t want to know the answer. I wanted her to stay here with me. My selfish, newfound desires wanted her close to me at all times. But maybe if she told me, I’d be able to hate myself enough to push those thoughts aside once and for all.
“Anywhere?” she asked, letting the water out of the sink, and rinsing it before turning to face me.
“Anywhere.” I nodded, waiting impatiently for the nail to seal my coffin.
With the dishes done, she dried her hands on a towel and turned to lean backward against the sink. Her eyes took on a dreamy look, one I wished was reserved only for me.
“Well, I’d pick the Bahamas or maybe the Rocky Mountains.” She smiled and glanced at me. “What about you?”
“Wait. I don’t mean like that.” It was hard enough to force myself to face what I was keeping her from. I knew I didn’t want to repeat this discussion. I had to rephrase my question so she could give me the pain I craved. “If you left right now and were safe to go anywhere, who would you go back to? I mean, your family must be crazy with worry about you. Right?”
There. I said it. But instead of the self-inflicted pain I’d hoped for, I only found sorrow and regret in the beautiful eyes that stared back at me. I was at a loss and about to say forget it when she slowly opened her mouth, her words so soft I had to strain to hear them.
“I…” she paused, taking a deep breath, “…I had just graduated from college. I really didn’t have any close friends. I just kept to myself so I could finish I guess.”
“And your family?”
“I don’t have one.” She shrugged her shoulders as if it were nothing. “Not really. I’d be surprised if they’ve even noticed I haven’t called or come by. They’re usually too focused on their next high to think about anything to do with me. That is unless I got in the way of it.”
She chuckled an evil, self-deprecating laugh. I wanted to rush over to her and wrap her in my arms and apologize. I couldn’t imagine any parent not adoring this amazing woman. Her response had never crossed my mind. I had assumed Alex had been the beginning of her world falling apart. When in truth, I knew from my own experience, her world had always been broken. If I felt protective before, there was no words that now described how I felt toward her now.
I hated that he looked at me with such pity. I was past all of that and currently doing good dealing with what had happened recently. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me.
“So, what’d you graduate with?” He offered a smile, and I was all too happy to accept his change of subject.
“Business. I figured one day I might go back and become a lawyer. Maybe not. But that was a good place to start.
“You’re amazing. You know that?” His eyes shone with something I couldn’t explain. It was the second time he’d praised me. The second time I felt proud of myself with him. And I was certain it was definitely not the last time I would feel so turned on because of it.
“Thanks. I just wanted to make a good life, start over, like you’d said.”
He nodded approvingl
y as if he understood every thought and feeling deep inside me. “You’ll make an amazing attorney someday.”
His words made me laugh. Becoming a lawyer was the last thing on my mind right now. But the idea of threatening to sue him was quite comical. Grabbing the towel I’d dried my hands on, I flung it at him. When he caught it in mid-air, the look he gave had lost all humor and turned incredibly sexy. I had planned to reply with something witty, but as he stood and stalked the few steps toward me, I lost all train of thought. His large, muscular body and his deep woodsy scent were now invading my space. When his head dipped down, slowly lowering to my level, I was awash in everything that was Nick.
“You will do amazing things, and becoming an attorney is the least of them,” he whispered the words softly, but with complete conviction. His face only inches from mine, he held the power to make me believe anything he said. Before I could understand his intention, or act on my sensual desires, he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. His lips gently pressing against my skin and holding me prisoner for far too little time. “Don’t ever forget that.” He gave me one final look, sealing every feeling—both sexual and emotional. He had no clue how powerful his words were. I could never forget this moment no matter how hard I tried.
“Okay,” I whispered back, unable to hide the smile that broke free from my lips.
“Damn right it’s okay.” He stood to his full height and returned to his normal obnoxious self, smirking as he walked away.
Releasing a deep breath I’d unknowingly been holding in, I replayed his words again and again as I finished cleaning the kitchen. I would never forget the look in his eyes, the way his body stood before mine, or the gentle kiss he’d used to seal them in my heart. Whatever plans I’d briefly considered about leaving I completely forgot. As long as he’d have me near him, I would stay. Maybe one day I’d be enough for him to want me in the same way that I was growing to want him.
“I think we’re all set,” Nick called out as I finished packing the small bag of clothes he’d asked me to.
“I’ll be right there!” I called back, reaching into the closet to grab the new pair of sneakers he’d bought me last week. Shoving them into the bag as well, I turned around to hurry and join him, coming face to face with a rock hard body. “Ugh.” My face literally planted between his hard pecks.
Stepping back, I knew he was trying to contain his laughter while bracing my shoulders, but I was too embarrassed to join in. “Sorry, I thought you were in the living room still.” I glanced down at my feet, hoping to hide my red cheeks.
“You drive me insane, woman!” He laughed and pulled me into a fierce bear hug before I could look at him. He was still laughing when he picked me up and spun me in a circle, lifting my feet in the air and twirling me around.
“Ohmygod, stop, I’m gonna be sick!” I couldn’t help the returning laughter that poured out of me. A few more spins and he was finally setting me back on my feet. This time holding my shoulders when I bobbled side to side from the dizziness. “You big lug!” I smacked his arm to playfully get away from him. It only made him laugh harder as I retrieved my bag from where I’d dropped it on the floor and stood by the door waiting for him to join me.
Shaking my head at how ridiculously sexy he was even when he wasn’t trying to be, it was impossible to wipe the smile from my face. “Are you done laughing at me yet?”
“Almost.” He continued chuckling as he took the bag from me and angled his arm out the bedroom door. “Ladies first.”
“Why do I not trust you?”
“Hmm, must be my charm, I guess.”
“Charm, my ass.” I turned and led the way. Once we had everything packed inside the car, he proceeded to show me the six cameras he’d set up and the monitoring app he’d installed on his laptop. Packing it up, he set the security system, then slung the carrier bag over his shoulder, this time leading the way back to the car.
We spent the next hour driving and discussing many of the places we passed, what music we liked, and anything that popped into our minds. It was strangely normal. The thought that I could ‘escape’ passed through my mind like it had during the other times he’d taken me out. But this time, I realized there wasn’t anything to escape from. Yes, he said my life would be in danger if I left, but he never locked me in or made me feel trapped. In fact, I realized, I was choosing to stay. Day after day, it was my decision. The revelation made me giddy inside, far more cheerful and boisterous than usual. So, when one of my favorite songs from my teenage years came on and I began singing along, bolting out note after note, I wasn’t surprised to find him watching me with his mouth hanging open as he glanced between the road and me.
Just as I was putting my heart and soul into Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours,” he did one better than me. He sang the chorus, his harmony perfectly on pitch, and the sound more majestic than anyone I’d ever heard before. Not only did he sound amazing, but he looked completely carefree and at ease for the first time since I’d met him.
“What?” he asked, suddenly bashful after the song had finished. “Never heard a man sing before?”
“Not like that. You should really consider a career in music. You’re amazing!”
He shook his head in denial, but the smile was a true giveaway. If not the smile, the small pink tint that slowly crept in his cheeks sealed the deal.
“Are you blushing?” I laughed, unable to hold it back.
“No! The sun is shining in the window and making me hot!” He huffed, trying unsuccessfully to be offended. “I tend to change colors when I sing. It’s like a magical unicorn or something.”
“You’re definitely a unicorn, but magical? We’ll have to see about that.”
“Oh, you’ll have no doubt how magical I am when I…” He suddenly ended his sentence, clearly not comfortable with what he was thinking. But I wasn’t going to let that one slide. Not when we were having such a good time. Not to mention, I liked where his thoughts were heading.
“Not when you what, Mr. Rainbow?” I batted my eyes at him, making sure he could see me in the corner of his eye.
“You’re going to get in trouble doing that,” he growled softly, his lips pursing together.
Leaning further over the armrest, I strained as far as my seatbelt would go and puckered my lips in a humorous way. “I don’t believe you.” I batted my eyes again, this time holding my puckered lips in exaggeration to make him laugh.
Shocking me, he turned and took advantage of my offer, grabbing my neck with one hand and latching his mouth onto mine. Instantaneously, I lost the funny pucker and found myself racing to meet his tongue as it demanded entrance and began dueling with mine. The way he kissed as if it were a promise and a threat wrapped in one, mesmerized and filled me with ecstasy. Wishing I could tear the restraining belt away from my body, I couldn’t get close enough. Our mouths seemed to mold and dance sensually along the other. Our desires quickly playing out through the limited contact. Sliding my hand along his jaw, I relished the feel of his day old beard under my fingers. There was nothing but us in that moment. No past or future. No worries or fears.
Releasing a moan I couldn’t contain, his hand tightly gripped my hair, pulling me closer as he bit my lip. He was every bit as desperate as I was. Sucking the sting away, he angled my head, slowly kissing a path along my jawline and to my ear.
“Fucking…perfect,” he whispered just before a loud horn sounded outside.
Pulling back, he didn’t seem to care about whoever was impatiently waiting for us to move. I hadn’t even realized we’d stopped at a red light and had to admit, I hoped it’d change back to red before he drove off again. He was looking at me with a fierce possessiveness I’d never witnessed before, his stark desire completely unveiled. He looked like he would devour me, ravish me, and leave me wanting more.
Releasing his hold on my hair, he smirked as he gave me one last quick kiss, and turned back to the road. Fucking perfect was right. I couldn’t stop staring at him, the inte
nsity of our connection refusing to release its hold on me.
“I can’t stop myself if you keep doing those cute things.” He was being playful, but the honesty in his words rung true.
“Then don’t,” I said without pause, meaning it with complete conviction.
His head whipped sideways, quickly assessing my words before turning back to the road. I watched as he slowly became lost in thought, his knuckles tightening on the steering wheel. I had no idea what he was thinking, but from the outward appearance that was one question I wasn’t ready to ask. If it had anything to do with me not being good enough, I knew I couldn’t handle that truth yet.
Refusing to allow our moment to be ruined, I turned the radio channel and laughed when I found another song I liked. It was a perfect antidote to the sudden cloud that seemed to darken our mood. Not to mention, it was one of my grandmother’s favorites, so I knew it was meant to be. With Sunny and Cher backing me up, I got lost in the words, closing my eyes as I sang the funny, yet fitting lyrics.
I opened my eyes as I continued, pleased to find Nick alternating between watching me and the traffic. The smile on his face and tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel were all the encouragement I needed.
Shocking me, Nick jumped in on the final verse, singing Sunny’s part of the duet. His voice was flawless, his timing perfect. Even if it were an easy song to sing, his skills could rival anyone I’d heard before.
As we finished one duet and started the next, Nick reached over and took my hand in his. The simple act, so normal and taken for granted by most, was the dearest and sweetest thing I’d ever experienced. Moments later, when he lifted our joined hands and used them as a microphone, my heart wanted to melt. This strong, fearsome man who lived a life most would cower from, had a gentleness and beauty about him that stole my breath and left me speechless.
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