Mortality Bites - The COMPLETE Boxed Set (Books 1 - 10): An Urban Fantasy Epic Adventure

by Ramy Vance

  “Robert, I believe you were about to tell us something.”

  “Right, right. So one of my guys tells me that some broad has been making the rounds looking for something strong enough to take down a dark elf. He says she was in Powell’s three nights ago with a shady-looking fella and he gave her what she was looking for.”

  Mary’s eyes narrowed as she listened to Bob’s tale. She seemed content to just let Bob keep prattling on, but I was getting impatient.

  “I don’t see how this is helpful. Do we know who this woman is or where to find her?”

  “Don’t get your fangs in a twist, gorgeous. I’m just about to get to the good part.”

  I bit back a reply, almost spraining my tongue, as Mary motioned for Bob to continue.

  “OK, so here’s where things start to get weird. My guy followed her out the door and down the block until they ran into the Sluagh. He saw her duck into an alley, but when he turned the corner, she was gone.”

  Mary started coughing, and I half expected her to dislodge a hairball or wayward chicken bone.

  “Sorry Mary, I figured you might not be too happy about the Sluagh part.”

  “Do you blame her?” Aldie asked as he got up and joined Mary.

  I had no clue what a Sluagh was and desperately wanted to ask, but just as desperately didn’t want another lecture about my poor breeding from Mary.

  “I appreciate the lead, even if I do not like where it leads.”

  I detected a slight tremor in Mary’s voice that I’d never heard before, and my curiosity finally won out.

  “I’m not sure what a sluagh is, but how scary can they be?”

  I swear Mary paled at least two shades. “They are the disembodied spirits of those whose gods have forsaken them. They roam the night in a grotesque parade, seeking to replace their tainted souls.”

  Bob shuddered in my lap.

  “Do they know they’re dead?” I asked.

  Bob squawked. “Ya, they know it. And the damn ghouls won’t hesitate to hijack someone else’s soul if they get the chance. Worse than fecking demons, I tell you.”

  Mary nodded. “Which is exactly why I avoid them whenever practical and do not wish to seek them out. I have worked quite hard to earn an afterlife of comfort, and would rather not have one of the forsaken hopscotch their way into heaven at my expense.”

  “Why would you seek them out?”

  Mary shook her head and rolled her eyes. “I see I have much to teach you about the finer art of investigation. It’s doubtful our mystery lady simply vanished into the evening’s ether. As Bob pointed out, the Sluagh are rather skilled at procuring souls and are therefore acutely aware of any living thing within a several-mile radius. They will have had eyes on her and will know exactly where she went. If we’re lucky, they may even know who she was.”

  Bob let out a small squawk. “Ya, but that kind of intel will cost you.”

  “If Mary can get us to them, I can take care of covering the cost.”

  I was relieved to hear Aldie finally taking some action. He’d been so quiet I was beginning to worry that the shock of his parents’ death was getting to him.

  “OK then, sounds like we have a plan. When do we go find these Sluagh?”

  Aldie scoffed. “We? Oh no, my love. You’re staying put.”

  I started to protest, but Mary interjected.

  “I’m sorry, Katrina, but I’m in agreement with Aldermemnon. It’s too dangerous.”

  “Um, hello? I can take care of myself just fine.”

  Aldie took a tentative step toward me and softly countered, “Actually Kat, you can’t. At least not while you’re wearing the blood jasper and can’t access your vampiric side.”

  “Then I’ll take it off.”

  “No, you will not,” Mary boomed, then quickly added, “I’m sorry to be so harsh, Katrina, but I’m not sure you understand just how loathsome these ghouls are. While they do not possess the means by which to take a life themselves, they are more than capable of manipulating you into doing it for them. If they somehow managed to unleash your inner affliction …”

  She paused at precisely the right moment, letting her words sink in. I wasn’t often ashamed of what I was. I mean, it’s not like I asked to be a vampire, after all, but for some reason hearing it put this way got me a little defensive.

  “I wouldn’t … I mean, I couldn’t …”

  Bob squawked again, but this one was more of a seagull’s equivalent of an ‘ahem’ than anything else. He telepathically added, “Mary’s right, sweetheart—these bastards can’t be trusted. They’d love to set you off and then troll the corpses looking for fresh souls.”

  “Et tu, Bob. Really?”

  The three of them started staring at each other again. If they were communicating, I couldn’t hear it this time. I gave them a few seconds, then coughed awkwardly. That was smooth, Kat. Maybe next time you can fart or burp to get their attention.

  Bob cocked his head and looked at me like I’d just bitten the head off a kitten.

  “Spend enough time with her and you’ll get used to Katrina’s eccentricities. The random vocalization of her inner thoughts is just one of many, I’m afraid.”

  “No problem, I like my broads a little off. Makes things interesting.”

  “Can we just get back to the plan?” I asked. “We’re wasting time.”

  It took several tries to convince them to take me along.

  They put up a good fight, but eventually realized I was going to do whatever the hell I wanted whether they liked it or not, and taking me along was better than me going without them.

  “You three could have saved yourselves time and frustration if you’d just let me have my own way from the beginning. You do this crap to yourselves, you know?”

  Mary’s eyebrow went up. “Gloating is such an unattractive quality for a female, Katrina.”

  As tempting as it was to argue, I knew that the sooner Mary felt sufficiently in charge again, the sooner we could get back to discussing the plan.

  “Sorry, I’ll quit being me and let you get back to being you.”

  Mary cocked her head in my direction and looked at me through slitted eyes. She wasn’t fooled. “Very well, then. We have a few hours before nightfall. There are a few things I need to attend to, but let’s regroup here at full dark and then we’ll go in search of these wretched soul snatchers.”

  No one would ever accuse me of having patience, but I swear to Odin, the wait was unbearable.

  By the time Aldie and Mary returned, I’d worn a path in the floor from pacing. Bob, on the other hand, had no problem relaxing. He’d parked his feathered ass in the middle of my bed and was sprawled out flat on his back, snoring like a hibernating grizzly bear.

  “Has he been asleep long?” Mary asked.

  “Unfortunately, yes. And would it have killed either of you to tell me that this whole connection thing works even when he’s sleeping? Trust me, that is one kinky, breast-obsessed bird. I have seen things that I will never be able to unsee.”

  Mary’s jaw twitched. “Can we please focus on the task at hand?”

  Sex talk always made Mary uncomfortable. Normally I’d seize an opportunity like this and add fuel to the fire, but I didn’t want to give Mary any encouragement to leave me behind tonight.

  “Mary’s right—let’s rouse Sleeping Beauty and get out of here.”

  Once Bob was awake we discussed the finer details of the plan, which basically consisted of the four of us making our way into town and roaming around in the dark until we found the sluagh. As far as plans went, this one wasn’t exactly super sophisticated, but it would have to do for now.

  With the exception of Bob yelling, “Incoming,” every time he had to empty his tank, the walk into town was quiet and uneventful. So far this whole investigation is about as exciting as watching grass grow.

  “I’m sorry, Katrina,” Mary said. “I wasn’t aware you were expecting to be entertained. I’m sure Lady Amaryl will
ever so graciously extend the clock on your sentencing while we find a way to make this fun for you.”

  I started to reply, but Aldie interrupted. “Normally I just stay out of the way when you two start on each other—Odin knows I can’t win—but would it be too much to ask of you both to please just give it a rest until we figure out who did this to my parents?”

  Mary and I agreed to a truce, and Aldie seemed pleased. Well, at least until Bob added his two pence.

  “Not to piss in your porridge, Aldermemnon, but I got a half-crown that says they don’t even make it into town without going at each other again.”

  Aldie should have taken the bet, because we never made it to town to find the sluagh—they found us. And it didn’t take long to see why Mary found them so repulsive.

  They had descended from the trees and formed a tight circle around us. Well, all of us except Bob, who was perched in a giant wych elm a few yards away.

  One of the ugly bastards parked itself about two inches too far inside my personal space. I tried to back up and bumped into another one, who helped itself to a handful of backside. I was about to spin around and kick its ass when Mary grabbed my arm.

  “Remain still, Katrina. They cannot cause any real harm without your permission.”

  The one closest to me let out a laugh. Its breath smelled like a cross between rotten eggs and rancid meat. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the prince of the UnSeelie Court and his band of the damaged. Do your parents know you’re out wandering the forest on such a dark and dangerous night? Oh wait, they’re dead, so I guess they don’t mind.”

  Aldie flinched, his fists curling and uncurling as he fought back his anger.

  “Come now, young prince. Surely you don’t intend to let your father’s handmaiden do all the talking.”

  With each passing second their numbers seemed to increase. We were surrounded by at least two dozen of these things now, with more approaching in the distance. They flew toward us in a long column like some bizarre parade of the macabre.

  If these things had been human at some point, you could have fooled me. Their silver-gray skin was mottled and pock-marked. Some had limbs twisted at impossible angles, while others had claws, fins, wings, and all manner of weirdness.

  The one doing all the talking was a big bastard with curled horns, like a ram. There were two sunken holes where his eyes should be and his mouth had been sutured shut and torn back open at some point.

  I was about to tell the ugly sucker to shut its slit if it didn’t have anything useful to say when Mary stepped toward it and spoke in a calm and imperious voice. “We have no desire to engage you long. We’re seeking information we believe you may have. Once we’ve gotten this information, we shall leave and trouble you no further.”

  “Do you really think we will just tell you what you want to know and then let you leave?”

  I saw a flash of light and felt air move past my face as Aldie materialized between me and the horned sluagh.

  Aldie stood in an elven fighting stance, which reminded me of the stance my father took before a duel. “You will do exactly that. You are trespassing in the realm of the UnSeelie Court. Your tricks are no match for our magic. Trust me when I tell you that there are worse fates then being forsaken by your god.”

  The horned sluagh hissed, advancing on Aldie. “You are but one dark elf. We are the ever-multiplying horde—there is naught you can do against our might.”

  Cold fingers grasped my neck and shoulder, yanking me backward.

  Bob shrieked and bolted from the tree like an arrow. “I’m coming, sweet cheeks.”

  Whatever grabbed me was now pulling at the chain of the blood jasper. I tried to wriggle free, but these things were strong.

  Wings flapped just behind me, and Bob yelled, “Die like a magpie, you demon motherfecker.”

  It was just enough of a distraction for me to plant a well-aimed heel to the groin. It leapt back and howled in pain as I tucked and rolled. I came up just in time to see Mary produce a lethal-looking sword from inside her overcoat. Aldie cast a ball of blue flame between his palms, then tossed it toward Mary. She sliced at the ball and lightning cascaded outward in every direction.

  I stayed still for a moment, watching in awe as Mary slashed and whirled like a tornado.

  In my early vampire years, I travelled east and saw Shaolin monk warriors display their battle prowess. Seeing Mary now, she would have fit right in as one of their ranks, strikes of blue lightning arcing out from her sword as she moved. Aldie raised his hands again and started chanting as the sluagh swarmed us.

  I reached for the blood jasper, ready to tug it free and join the fray … but it wasn’t there.

  "Looking for this, Katrina?"

  A long, slender hand appeared in front of my face, my necklace dangling from its fingertips. I didn't need to look to know whose hand it was. I recognized the voice, and the blood-red claws.

  "Enough!" Lady Amaryl shouted. Everyone froze; her tone commanded that type of reaction. “What is the meaning of this?"

  No one spoke at first. Apparently, my companions only talked tough and none of them possessed a set of balls they were willing to risk losing.

  "Well? Is someone going to answer me?"

  This whole thing was getting more ridiculous by the second and while I knew better than to push Amaryl’s buttons, I just couldn’t help myself. “Isn’t it obvious? We’re having a ceilidh.”

  Aldie stepped forward, stopping directly in front of Amaryl. Watching him draw himself up to his full royal rightfulness was kind of hot. "Amaryl, what are you doing here?"

  “Apparently saving you from your own destruction, Aldermemnon."

  "I assure you, we had everything under control," Mary snarled.

  "Perhaps my question was not clear. What I was really asking is what any of you are doing out here in the forest in the first place. Especially Katrina. If my memory serves me correctly, she is under house confinement, is she not?"

  “Actually, that agreement was between you and Mary,” I said. “I make my own decisions, and I decided to take a midnight stroll and make some new friends.”

  Mary grabbed my arm, pulling me away from Amaryl and scolded me with an icy glare.

  "I happened to come into some information pertaining to our situation,” Mary said. “We came here looking for answers."

  "And answers you shall have." Lady Amaryl’s voice oozed contempt.

  The sluagh with the curved horns floated forward to join Mary and Aldie in front of Lady Amaryl. She looked him up and down, tutting in disgust. "Am I to assume you are in charge of this rabble?"

  Horny didn’t seem intimidated. "You do not frighten me. I have dined on the souls of many with magic darker that your own."

  Apparently Lady Amaryl found this funny, because she cackled. Even her laugh was unpleasant. "Were you to taste me, I think you might find me rather unpalatable. Most people do, but then again, you're not exactly people, are you?"

  Horny didn't seem to find this amusing in the least. He bobbed up and down, his sutured mouth contorting as he struggled to find a retort to Lady Amaryl's taunts.

  I could see Amaryl stifling a smile. "Very well, then—it appears that you are in possession of knowledge about the deaths of Lord Gaelyn and Lady Kalysta. I trust that you will cooperate and share that information with us?"

  The ghoul stroked his horns. "Perhaps, but information comes with a price, and you interrupted us before we came to an agreement."

  "Name your price, ghoul, and I shall decide if I find your terms favorable," Amaryl replied.

  Mary took a step forward, stopping inches from her. "Amaryl, don't be foolish. These ghouls never play fair."

  When Amaryl replied, she spoke through her teeth. "It would also do you well to remember your place, Mary Wollstonecraft. I have a title, and you will use it when addressing me. We are not, and shall never be, on a first-name basis."

  Aldie shifted uncomfortably from side to side before clearing
his throat. "Amaryl, I alone stand as your equal here, and I beg you to be careful what you bargain away. If these ghouls have information about my parents’ death, then they shall give it and get nothing in return if it were up to me."

  Several of the lesser sluagh slid forward, taking spots behind the master. I wasn't sure if this was an attempt to show their might or if they were just nosy.

  In either case, Lady Amaryl didn't look the least bit intimidated as she turned on us. "You are the ones who have broken the rules. I have been more than generous giving you any time at all to investigate. I am in charge of the royal guard, and as such, investigation is my purview. The lot of you running around playing detective has come to an end. It’s obvious you do not have the best judgment when it comes to how or from whom you obtain your information. You may now return home, and I shall finish what you’ve started."

  I scoffed. “You mean you’ll keep looking for excuses to blame this on me.”

  “Kat, please let me handle this,” Aldie said tersely.

  Before Aldie could do something foolish, Mary placed a hand upon his chest and steered him backward a few steps. They had what appeared to be a very heated exchange, whispering between themselves.

  I heard wings and saw Bob land in a tree directly behind me. We made eye contact, and his voice burst into my head. “Hey, sweet cheeks. If you ain’t wearing your collar, how come you ain’t kicking ass and sucking blood?”

  Bob had brought up an interesting point. Amaryl was still grasping my necklace, and I had yet to feel the bloodlust surging through my body that I normally did when the necklace was not securely around my neck.

  "Because I am keeping you from your true nature, Katrina." Lady Amaryl was staring directly at me. "All these years you have been among us, and yet you still seem so surprised at the things our kind can do. Did it not occur to you that I, too, could hear your bird friend, or that I might want to protect myself and my men from what you would be capable of without this necklace?"

  I seriously hated this bitch.

  I had my doubts that she gave a damn about her guard or anyone else. She was only worried what I might do to her if given half the chance.