Mortality Bites - The COMPLETE Boxed Set (Books 1 - 10): An Urban Fantasy Epic Adventure

by Ramy Vance

  "Katrina, you have so much to learn. If I can hear his thoughts, I can hear yours as well. I sincerely hope that someday you and I do go head to head, just to see what the other is capable of. But that day will not be today."

  “I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you, Amaryl,” I spat. “Today’s just getting started.”

  Lady Amaryl tossed the blood jasper to Aldie, who caught it with one graceful hand. "Perhaps you should leash your pets, Aldermemnon."

  Aldie walked toward me, replaced the blood jasper around my neck and placed his hand directly over it, pressing it into my chest. His lips moved, but as usual I had no idea what the words were. All I knew was that those words bound me from my true nature. I should have been grateful for this. After all, killing isn’t really my idea of fun, but I can’t help myself when I’m in vampire mode.

  When he was finished, he stepped back. The look of sorrow in his eyes broke my heart into a million pieces. How could a day that held such promise—our wedding day—have ended so terribly? I only hoped this wasn't a sign of how the rest of our lives together were destined to play out.

  Horny made a low, growling sound as he bobbed closer to Lady Amaryl. “The dawn will be upon us soon and we have souls to reap before morning arrives. Do you wish to hear our terms or not?”

  “Yes, back to business, shall we? What is it you desire?” Lady Amaryl’s tone was like ice water, and it caused everyone and everything to freeze instantly. The clearing was silent and eerily still. It felt like time had stopped completely.

  Then all hell broke loose as the entire horde thundered out a single word reply in unison.

  “Eggggggggg.” They pointed at Bob, and from his contorted expression I could only assume they showed him something … More telepathic magic for sure. “We want that one’s baby eggggg.”

  Bob let out a ferocious cry as he fainted and fell from the tree.

  Aldie moved past me in a blur, catching Bob just before he hit the ground. I heard a whoosh to my other side, and a glint of light caught my eye as Mary drew her sword again.

  A loud cracking noise like the sound of thunder reverberated through the clearing, and everyone froze again.

  “Now that I have everyone’s attention again,” Amaryl said, stepping closer to the sluagh leader, “your request is valid. However, the egg is not mine to give, and it appears that Robert Ignatius has, shall we say, issues with the idea.”

  “Issues? I’ll give you issues, you wicked harlot,” Bob cried. “Put me down so I can tear these fecking demons to pieces.”

  Apparently, Bob was now awake and ready to rumble. Fortunately, Aldie had him in a headlock for Bob’s own safety.

  As usual, Lady Amaryl paid absolutely no attention and turned back to the horde. “Very well, then. Perhaps there is something else I can give you that would appease you.”

  “No, we want egggggg. Soul of the unborn is the purest of all and fastest way to get us to our gods.”

  “If souls are what you want, then I can help with that.”

  Amaryl raised her right hand above her shoulder and made a flicking motion. I watched in shock as two of her guards levitated and floated toward the sluagh. The two screamed in horror as they realized what was about to happen.

  It was over so fast I doubt they even felt any physical pain, but their sacrificed souls would now experience an eternity of torture.

  Horny bellowed and contorted his ragged mouth in what could barely pass as a smile. “While not as valuable as the pure soul of the unborn, souls of the long-lived ones aren’t so bad once you get past the aftertaste.”

  Amaryl didn’t take the bait, nor did she appear the least bit remorseful that she’d just sacrificed a third of the guards she’d arrived with. “I certainly hope I find your information equally palatable.”

  “What do you wish to know?” Horny asked.

  Amaryl turned toward Aldie, an evil smile plastered across her face. “Since you took such a foolish risk attempting to investigate on your own, I would not dream of stealing this moment from you.”

  Aldie glared at her, then stepped forward to address the sluagh. “A woman who looked similar to Kat was seen leaving Powell’s a few nights back. When she encountered you, she ducked into an alley, then suddenly disappeared. Did you see where she went or know who she might be?”

  The horde erupted into laughter. They enjoyed their inside joke for a few moments until Aldie launched one of his lightning balls into their midst. “This is not a joke. This woman is directly involved in the murder of my parents and needs to pay for what she’s done. You will tell me what I need to know or I will smite you all.”

  I moved to Aldie’s side and put on my best vampire face. “I doubt these ugly bastards taste like chicken, but I’d gladly help with the smiting if you need me, darling.”

  The sluagh quickly grew quiet. Horny floated down until he was eye to eye with Aldie. “We laugh because the answer is ironic. This woman you speak of didn’t resemble your vampire—she was your vampire, and then she wasn’t.”

  I could see that Aldie was getting angry again, and was actually relieved when Amaryl interjected, “I gifted you two of my favorite guards and you seek to bargain with double speak. Tread carefully, demon, or I may decide to take my guards back.”

  I swear I saw the ugly bastard flinch. “I speak the truth. She was the vampire, then she became ... another kind of monster.”

  Can anyone say ‘irony?’ I thought, thankfully in my head.

  Bob squawked. “Are you saying this broad was a skin walker? ‘Cause if you are, I’m out of here. Those things are creepier than these crap sacks.”

  “Are you certain of this?” Amaryl asked, ignoring Bob’s outburst.

  Horny nodded his head in agreement, and I saw Amaryl’s spine stiffen. “The kind of magic needed to take another’s form is ancient and powerful. There are few alive with such power. Even among our kind it is limited to a handful of those who rule the elven courts.”

  The ghoul nodded in agreement. “That’s why the answer is ironic. He asks questions he already knows the answer to.”

  “If I knew the answer, why would I need to deal with you?” Aldie snapped.

  Horny gave that gruesome smile again as he moved closer to Aldie. “Maybe because you think we’re stupid and you could trick us. Or maybe you think we didn’t see you in that alley, but we did.”

  Amaryl didn’t even blink before reacting. “Guards, seize him.”

  Aldie remained still as a look of genuine surprise crept across his face.

  Mary and I didn’t have such restraint, and both started protesting at the same time, but Amaryl had no interest.

  “Both of you can silence yourselves, or I will do it for you. Unlike you, these creatures know better than to be dishonest with me.”

  Very little causes a person to panic when they have the ability to detach a head from a torso and drain the corpse of every last drop of blood, but this situation had me close to losing it.

  “Aldie, I won’t let her get away with this. Just say the word and I will end her right here, right now.”

  His eyes met mine, and I immediately hated the resignation they held. “Kat, it’s OK. My only goal here tonight was to clear your name, and we’ve accomplished that. I’m innocent. I’m not sure what the real game is here, but I have complete faith that you, Mary and Bob can get to the bottom of things.”

  “There is no game here, Aldermemnon. You will stand trial for the murder of your parents as soon as can be arranged with the court. As for your little band of misfits, I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that they are outsiders among us and have no business interfering in matters of the court. Any attempt to do so will have rather unpleasant consequences.”

  I was about to tell the bitch to get bent, but the look on Mary’s face told me to back down. I just hoped she had a better plan than the one that had just blow up in our faces.

  The walk back to the palace seemed to take forever, and it was almost
dawn when we arrived. Bob had flown ahead and was sprawled out in the center of my bed when Mary and I reached my quarters.

  “Glad to see you’re making yourself comfortable, Bob.”

  “Hey, what can I say? I do my best thinking on my back, sweet cheeks.”

  “Yes, I know. I’m just glad I wasn’t able to see whatever depravity you were dreaming about this time.”

  Mary wasn’t paying any attention to us; she was too busy pacing and muttering to herself. She suddenly stopped and blurted out, “How did Lady Amaryl know exactly where to find us?”

  “Could she have followed us?” I asked.

  “No way, ladies,” Bob said. “I got the eyes of an eagle and the aerial advantage. If anyone was following us, I would have seen them.”

  Mary nodded in agreement. “Bob’s right—I don’t think they followed us. Amaryl is powerful, but it would have taken some serious mojo to conceal herself and half a dozen guards. My guess is that she already knew where we’d be before we did.”

  “But when we left, we didn’t know where we’d find the sluagh,” I said. “So how could she have known where we’d find them?”

  “That’s exactly my point, Katrina. The sluagh roam the city street at night looking for souls. We ran into them in the forest, where one wouldn’t expect to find them. Something or someone led them to us, and my money is on Amaryl.”

  Bob sat up and let out a low whistle. “Man, I love a broad with brains.”

  Mary gave him a look that would have broken a lesser bird.

  “So, the plan is obvious then,” I exclaimed with just a titch too much enthusiasm. “Let’s go kick some ass until we find someone who will confirm that Amaryl’s behind this.”

  “Patience, Katrina. The key to solving any mystery is to figure out how all the pieces fit together. Right now we’re missing several pieces. I think the best place to start is to figure out which pieces we have and what they tell us. Then we can determine which pieces we need to go looking for.”

  “Please tell me you’re not just pulling all of this out of one of those Sherlock Holmes novels you’re always so enthralled by?”

  “I assure you, Katrina, I am much more akin to James Caminada than Holmes.”

  As usual, I had no clue what Mary was on about and was probably going to hate myself for asking.

  Fortunately, Bob saved me from myself. “I met Caminada once in a pub in Manchester. Big, hard-looking bastard, but man is his noodle sharp as scissors when it comes to cracking cases. I’m guessing the whole super-detective thing doesn’t hurt when it comes to impressing the ladies, either. You know what I mean?”

  “Yes, Robert. We know what you mean. Now, let’s get back to working our case, shall we?”

  Mary was halfway out the door before she finished her sentence. She motioned for us to follow her as she disappeared around the corner.

  A few minutes later, we were outside crossing the courtyard toward the greenhouse. Mary stopped a few yards away from the entrance to the greenhouse and looked around. She put her hand on the base of a large oak tree and started moving her lips. I jumped back as the tree split open under her palm.

  “Quickly, inside.”

  Bob glided inside without hesitation while I tentatively moved toward the opening.

  “Katrina, now,” Mary snapped. “We mustn’t be seen.”

  I took a step forward, then stopped. I was shocked to see a spiral staircase leading downward into the darkness.

  Mary’s patience finally wore out, and she gave me a shove through the opening, then stepped in behind me. “I swear you are purposely obstinate at times just to see how far you can push me, Katrina.”

  “Um, excuse me? You’re the one doing the pushing. Did it ever occur to you that I could have fallen down these steps?”

  “It hadn’t, but now that you bring it up, I’m rather sorry you didn’t. The sudden stop at the bottom might have jolted some sense into you.”

  “Ladies, ladies. As erotic as it would be to see the two of you wrestling this out, can it wait? Whatever kind of hoo-doo you got concealing this place is making my feathers itch.”

  Mary waved Bob’s comments away, then chuckled. “Don’t get your feathers all ruffled ,Robert. With a name like Kat, I’m sure she’d land safely on her feet.”

  “Mary’s right, Bob. Even if she isn’t punny.”

  Bob moaned in surrender as Mary reached for my hand to help me down the stairs.

  The stairs widened near the bottom and ended in the center of a huge chamber with several doors set into the surrounding walls.

  “What is this place?” I gasped.

  “It’s the hall of portals,” Mary replied as she stopped in front of a large, ornately-carved wooden door. She pressed her left palm against the center of the door and weird, glowing symbols began to appear around the doorframe. I could see her lips moving as she touched some of the symbols with her right hand.

  A few seconds later, the door opened inward with a loud creaking. The smell of lamp oil, damp paper and old leather came wafting toward us.

  “Damn it, not the war room,” Bob squawked. “If we’re gonna be stuck in this musty old hell hole for long, you better have beer and peanuts.”

  Mary ignored him and motioned for us both to go inside. Bob made his feelings known by emptying his tank a few inches from her feet on his way through the door.

  I stopped in front of Mary and shouted, “Incoming.” She slapped me in the back of the head and closed the door behind us.

  The room was massive. It was full of books, maps, charts and a whole assortment of science-y things that looked like they belonged to a deranged alchemist.

  “This is my private study. Now quit gawking and let’s get to work—we don’t have much time.”

  “I thought Bob called this the war room.”

  “Yes, his penchant for drama runs almost as deep as your own. We spent a great deal of time here while negotiating the truce with the Seelie Court, and Robert railed against his confinement the entire time.”

  “Trust me, I was being kind,” Bob shot back. “Listening to you babble on and on for days on end was more like being slowly tortured in all seven of Dante’s layers—simultaneously.”

  Mary reached out and grabbed Bob’s beak, pinching it shut. Instead of fighting back, Bob sent a rather graphic thought into the ether, causing Mary to jump back with a shudder.

  “Told you he was a kinky freak,” I chuckled.

  “Indeed. Now, can the two of you please focus? We’re wasting precious time.”

  She crossed to the far wall and pulled on the cord of a large map. It rolled upward with a fluttering thwap, revealing a moss-covered wall. Scraps of paper and sketches were pinned to the wall and connected with a haphazard cobweb of twine.

  “Okay, I started piecing our case together last evening … “

  “You did all this?” I asked.

  “Trust me, you ain’t seen nothing yet,” Bob said. “She don’t get out much.”

  Mary pursed her lips. “Robert, perhaps you should take a nap. Katrina and I can fill you in when you awake.”

  “You don’t gotta ask me twice.” Bob leapt off the corner of the table and glided on to the nearest overstuffed armchair. He circled the cushion twice, then plopped down in the center of the seat like a spoiled lapdog.

  “Now, where were we? Ah yes, the murder board.”

  “Murder what?”

  “Murder board. It’s a visible representation of all the clues and how they connect. It’s quite useful for seeing patterns and identifying holes in the case.”

  “I guess it beats knitting or sewing as a hobby.”

  “Katrina, I would think that you of all people would want to take this seriously, considering your fiancé is now the prime suspect.”

  “I’m sorry, you’re right. I’ll stop interrupting, but you’re going to need to explain all this to me.”

  “Thank you. Let’s start with what we know so far.”

  Th
e conversation only took a few minutes, since all we knew was that someone somehow managed to poison Gaelyn and Kalysta in the middle of my wedding ceremony in front of the entire UnSeelie Court.

  “Okay, so basically we got nothing and we need to go kick some ass until we get better intel.”

  “No, Katrina—next we wake Robert. I need him to pay a visit to our friends in the Seelie Court and find out what they know. You and I are going to visit an alchemist friend of mine and see if she can tell us what kind of poison could bring down elves as powerful as Gaelyn and Kalysta.”

  Sleeping Beauty wasn’t pleased to be woken up mid-fantasy, but he got over it quick when he found out he was being sprung from the war room. Mary took it easy on him and agreed to meet back in my quarters just after dark.

  I, at least, kept my promise to stay focused. I’d never met an alchemist before and was looking forward to it. I was fascinated by the concept of a human that could harness the power of magic.

  Mary’s friend was definitely not what I had expected. Moira McPherson was more kitchen witch than dark and mysterious practitioner of the chemical arts. When we arrived at her cottage, we found her in the herb garden, gathering ingredients for a poultice and garnish for tomato soup.

  As usual, Mary didn’t waste any time with small talk. “Moira, I’m sorry to stop by unannounced, but we need your expertise.”

  “It’s no bother, dear—the soup is just about done. Let’s have a meal and talk business afterward.”

  “I’m afraid we can’t, Moira. Time is not on our side.”

  “This is about Gaelyn and Kalysta, then?” Moira asked in a heartbreaking whisper.

  “Yes, Moira. I need to know what kind of poison could have ended the lives of ones as powerful as they, and where someone could have gotten ahold of such a deadly weapon.”

  Moira’s composure suddenly changed. Gone was the kindly Mother Earth persona, and in its place was a guarded, serious practitioner of deadly arts. “Let’s go inside. These woods have eyes and ears, and this conversation needs to remain between the three of us.”