Heart in the Field

by Dagg, Jillian

  At first her fingers were tentative between his thighs, and then, as her interest grew, she caressed with a sure stroke. Reeling from the sensations, Nick touched her and felt her heat and her damp warmth even through the leather. Holding her that way, he leaned and kissed her mouth. Her lips opened, with no hesitation when he let his tongue delve deep. Her hunger as intense as his own.

  He moved away from her and saw her hand drop from him in slow motion. He removed his jacket. She slipped off her own jacket. She tossed it on top of his on an armchair. She unbuttoned the top two buttons of her white silk blouse and he saw a glimpse of the white satin that covered her perfect, creamy breasts.

  He opened his shirt and tugged the bottom from his jeans. Her fingers trembled over the rest of her buttons and she removed her blouse. She let it drop to the carpet. Then she held the top of the side zipper to her pants.

  He unbuckled his belt.

  She slid down the zipper.

  He unsnapped the button on his jeans.

  She slid her hand provocatively between leather and flesh.

  “Let me now,” he said.

  She sat down on the side of the bed for him to remove the rest of her clothes. He kissed her through her white satin panties, kissed her thighs, her knees and her feet, worshiping her. When he rose he found it a struggle to remove the rest of his own clothing. He had lost his head over this woman.

  Serena watched Nick come to her. Naked, he was magnificent. She never thought she’d ever think that about a man’s body, but it was true. He was muscular, golden and sleek and he wanted her badly, but he held himself in control. Once she was naked with him she opened her thighs to him and took him to the throbbing place deep inside her.

  She heard herself cry out with the unfamiliar pressure of his body, but she couldn’t stop the pleasure, the sensations that raked her and broke her into a sobbing mass in his arms. And then again: Facing one another, gazing into one another’s eyes: The push, the pull, the fantastic healing feeling of being with a man and the joy as they drove to the same heights with the same sounds of ecstasy.

  And once again: Serena atop Nick. She flung back her body and his hands rode up her stomach and over her breasts, and she felt the room began to spin and she couldn’t get enough of him. She had never known such urgent, physical hunger, but then she had never let herself go with a man this way.

  She bent down and cupped his face with her hands. His tongue wet her lips and she wet his lips with her own tongue. She was teetering on the verge of fulfilment. She never wanted this to end. They were in a secret place, nobody knew they were here, and these were stolen, delicious moments.

  Nick lost control first, and she felt high on the power of being able to give him such wild satisfaction, a wild satisfaction that became her own only moments later. They finally parted and collapsed on to the damp sheets.

  Half awake, half sleepy, Serena listened to the sounds outside: the traffic, people talking, laughing. She chuckled. “I can’t believe what we’ve just done and we’re only a step away from the sidewalk.”

  Nick rolled on to his elbow beside her. He slowly stroked her from hip to breast. “I’m pleased you sound happy about it.”

  “I needed it, didn’t I?”

  “Me too.”

  She turned her head to look into his face and she realized with an all-over feeling that came to her like waves crashing on a beach that she was in love with him. You fool, she told herself. You absolute idiot.

  He brushed her hair from her forehead and traced his fingers over the creases. “Why do you frown?”

  She lifted herself on her elbow, the way he had. “Was it great for you?”

  “You don’t have to ask that question. Didn’t you feel how I was? I gave you everything.”

  Not everything. Not nearly everything. Serena sat up on the bed. “I guess we should be moving on.”

  “No.” Nick reached up and tugged her down beside him again. He kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her mouth. He kissed her breasts and her stomach and he kissed between her legs. The hunger was far from satiated. But this time her pleasure was mixed with the knowledge of loving him.

  •

  Nick left the shower, and after drying himself, returned to the room. Serena was spread out beneath the covers, sleeping. He noticed the rise and fall of her breathing and the soft way her face looked at rest. If he’d done nothing for her, he thought, he’d given her this respite. He’d given her the calming sleep after being well loved.

  Except strangely, although his body felt relieved to have finally given itself to Serena, he didn’t feel very calm himself. He actually felt pretty guilty. For he was going to be for Serena the same as her father, a missing person from her life.

  He sat down on the side of the bed and reached over to touch her hand. She felt the movement and her eyelids flickered, and she smiled, her teeth pressing into her bottom lip. “What’s happening?”

  “I took a shower. You’d better as well. Then maybe we should have some dinner.”

  “I don’t want to leave here.”

  “Me neither. Shall we stay the night?”

  “I’d like that.” She scraped her hair away from her face with her hand. “This has been wonderful. You were right. Great sex is an answer. However, it’s all still there waiting afterward. So, if afterward doesn’t have to come until Sunday, then that’s all the better.”

  “I understand.”

  “I’m not sure if you do.”

  “Well, I do. I was a lonely kid. My parents were old and sent me off to boarding school when I was pretty young. Summers it was camp. They wanted to be by themselves, and I respect that. Except I also believe they took on a responsibility when they had me, and they didn’t really acknowledge it. They gave me the physical comforts, but emotionally they left me out.” He made a face. “And that’s truth time for me.”

  “Do you get along with your parents?”

  “Merely on a superficial level.” He wished he hadn’t started this conversation, but felt that it was time to tell someone, and that someone was Serena. There was no question she was the right person to tell. He rubbed his hand over his naked thigh. “I was in the way, I was sent away, so I chose a career that kept me away.”

  “Then why bother coming back?’

  “Because they’re old, not in very good health, and they need help, and one side of me feels responsible for them. I think I might be hoping to salvage something of the past and bring it into the present, so my memories of them are now, not then.” He glanced at her. “Heavy stuff, huh?”

  “So that’s why you’re home?”

  “That’s why I’m home. Hopefully by the time my contract is up I can persuade my parents they should move to more comfortable digs and I can be satisfied at leaving them.” At that time he’d also have to leave Serena. That thought didn’t sit well with him at all.

  “They don’t want to move?”

  “No. They’re being stubborn.”

  “Like you,” she whispered with a little smile. She reached up to him to caress his jaw. “You get a stubborn, little-boy look sometimes.”

  Feeling warm inside that she’d noticed that about him, he clasped her fingers with his. “I suppose I inherited that.”

  “So where do your parents live now?”

  “Above my father’s jewelry store.”

  “He still works?”

  “No. He’s had some heart attacks, so he hires a guy to clean watches, which is his only business now.”

  She squeezed his fingers. “I would never have guessed your reason for coming home.”

  “Why? Because you think I’m cold and unfeeling?”

  “Yes. To be honest.”

  “I’ve had to be that way, Serena. It’s kept me sane.”

  “I know. I’m the same way.”

  “I figured that.” He leaned down to kiss her mouth. Her lips were soft beneath his and he felt a slow moving heat flood his body. This was more than mere sex, it was for everything s
he gave him.

  He tucked himself beneath the covers with her. Their mouths fastened together once more and their bodies clamored into an embrace. He went into her with no thought of anything other than she was beginning to feel lovely and familiar. Later, when she knelt before him, melted into a fusion of sexual euphoria, Nick wasn’t sure how he was going to feel about all this tomorrow.

  •

  “What’s the time?” Serena whispered through the dark. Her hands reached out to touch Nick and she drew herself closer to him. Outside the street was now quiet in the dense darkness.

  She felt him stretch out for his watch. He squinted into the face. “Midnight.”

  “Appropriate,” she whispered. “I was always awake at midnight when I was a child. I never slept very well.”

  He replaced the watch on the bedside table and lay beside her. “So do you prefer working evenings instead of days?”

  “It’s okay.” She thought he seemed a little withdrawn now. They had finished making love the last time about an hour ago. They’d been sleeping on and off. In between she’d been thinking about how she was going to reconcile this weekend into her life.

  She stroked his shoulder. “Are you tired?”

  He glanced at her and she saw his teeth flash white. “A little.” He eased over beside her and took her into his arms. “Let’s try and get some sleep.”

  Serena supposed she did sleep, because she awoke to the smell of fresh coffee and the clinking of cups.

  Nick was wearing unsnapped unbelted jeans and his shirt open overtop. “Room service. Aren’t you starving? We forgot to go for dinner.”

  “We ate a good lunch,” she said. It was daylight now. Sunlight flickered behind the blinds.

  “Almost a day ago,” he said. “Okay. This is the menu. Coffee, fresh squeezed orange juice, warm croissants, butter, marmalade, scrambled eggs, hash browns that look like chips, you know me and chips.”

  She laughed. “It sounds delicious. I’ll get some clothes on.”

  “No need.” He lifted a thick terry robe from the end of the bed. “Complimentary. Slip into this.”

  She rose from the bed, aware of her nakedness and slight cool air of the room caressing her flesh. Behind her, Nick slipped her into the terry robe and he leaned over her, kissing her nape and tying the belt at the same time. Then he ran his hands down her hips, and she could feel him pressed against her, and she felt the same honey-damp heat invade her that had been her constant companion for the night.

  But she moved away from him and teased. “Let’s eat first.”

  They sat in armchairs either side of a small circular table and made short work of the food. They lingered over coffee and when her cup was empty Serena stood up. “I think I’ll go for a shower.”

  Nick also rose. “Not so fast.”

  She placed her head to one side. “What do you want?”

  He came closer. “What do you think I want?”

  She made her eyes big. “Not that again?”

  “Yes, that again.”

  She untied the robe and shrugged it from her shoulders. Naked, she walked to the bed and sat down on the edge. “Come here.”

  He undressed and came to her, aroused. She took him in again, wondering, now that she was wound up, how she would ever wind down?

  When she finally went to her shower, she still felt restless with lust.

  “One last condom,” Nick said, poking his head around the shower curtain where she was standing, lathered beneath the pounding hot shower. He climbed in with her. “Shame to waste it.”

  •

  Holding hands, they strolled through the bright sunlight to the van. Serena felt well loved, and wondered why she had never tried anything like this before. Maybe Nick was right. Maybe she could just go for the moment and leave unscathed at the end. Except, when she looked at him, she felt great surges of love for him. She squeezed his fingers.

  He grinned at her. “It was fantastic, Serena. Really fantastic.”

  She rubbed her arm against his. “Does that mean it was better than great sex?”

  He gave her fingers a return squeeze. “Sure does.”

  “Greater than greater sex?”

  “Wondrous sex. Perfect sex.”

  She left it at that. At least she was with him. If she was lucky, she had six months to look forward to, maybe even eight.

  Nick swore and leaned over, pulling a ticket from beneath the windshield wiper. He didn’t bother looking at it. “I should have moved the van behind the hotel once we’d checked in.”

  “It’s okay. Steel will pay it. Just put it in with your expenses.”

  “But it was parked all night. Someone might guess what we were doing.” He pocketed the ticket. “I’ll pay for it myself.”

  “Don’t tell me you have a sense of decency?”

  He gave her a grave look. “Of course I do. Especially with you. You wouldn’t have gone to that hotel room with just anyone.”

  Was it so obvious she was the type of woman who had to be in love with her man to make love with him? She tried to make light of his comment so he wouldn’t guess. “Oh, yeah?”

  “Don’t fool with me, Serena.” He patted the pocket containing the ticket. “I don’t like this.”

  She didn’t think there was much to worry about but she didn’t say any more about it. Nick was holding open the door of the van for her, so she climbed in. He tucked himself in beside her and started the engine. He really did seem annoyed by the ticket, and the atmosphere had changed between them from euphoria to tension.

  He grumbled over the slow traffic as they inched their way through the crowded Sunday streets. Once they were on the highway, he drove fast. The miles were soon eaten along The Queen Elizabeth Way through the Niagara Peninsula. Then they were crossing The Burlington Skyway over Lake Ontario, now on their way around the lake and east to Toronto.

  Nick’s moodiness was in contrast to Serena’s body, which was still with his in high ecstasy in the shower. Their love making had been more poignant, less of a hurry, longer and even more stimulating.

  She glanced at Nick’s profile. She felt she knew it better now. She knew the thick line of his dark hair, the ridge of the scar beneath his flesh, the way his beard grew a little fuzzy from his jaw. His eyes weren’t always cold. Sometimes they grew dark and showed his needs.

  They were nearing Toronto. She could see the city buildings and the tower behind a faint haze. Across the blue sparkle of Lake Ontario, that forced a horseshoe out of the surrounding land, was Niagara-on-the-Lake and their hotel room. A nice, secret place for secret doings. A midnight that hadn’t been full of hell.

  “What do you want to do?” Nick asked as they sped along

  Lakeshore Drive. It was a typical sunny Sunday afternoon by the lake, with people jogging, walking, cycling and skating. She wasn’t sure what one did after a weekend of love. “I’ll go home, I guess.”

  “Do you want me to take you home now, or do you want to come to my place for a while? We should eat. We can order Chinese.”

  She didn’t really want to go home right away. She would only wander around and make her life miserable. “Chinese sounds good. I’ll have to phone Ginny, my neighbor, to make sure she feeds Pascal for another day.”

  “Did she know you were going to be away last night?”

  “I told her I might be late. She knows I sometimes don’t make it.”

  “Okay. Then I’ll drive you home later.”

  “That’s fine.” She felt anxious now, because he seemed to be slipping away from her, as if she could stretch out her hand and not feel him there anymore.

  It was a neat thing to do, to share an impromptu casual meal with Nick. But she could still feel his coolness, even beneath his easy grins and light caresses. Driving her home in the dark, he was silent. He came in for a second, and made sure she was safe, but he didn’t ask to stay.

  When she hung up the black leather pants in the closet, she blamed them for her lack of control
this weekend.

  •

  When Nick returned to his apartment, it smelled like a Chinese restaurant. He washed the dishes they had used and cleaned up. He took out the parking ticket and sat down at his desk. He wrote a check and sealed the envelope. The parking ticket made him feel stupid. He should have thought of everything when he knew he was going to spend a weekend in a hotel room with Serena. But then when he parked the van he hadn’t been intending to spend the entire weekend.

  He raked his fingers through his hair. All he’d bargained for was the afternoon after lunch. Then they’d go for dinner in the hotel and drive home. Instead, it was now midnight Sunday, and they had spent hours making love, and even then it had been difficult to leave the hotel. And even more difficult to leave Serena.

  What was he going to do? Hang her on until he left? Or let her go now, before he had a chance to hurt her? The thought of letting her go hurt him like hell. He almost had to double over, the pain was so excruciating. He went to bed with no decision made. He couldn’t say what was going to happen tomorrow when he saw her again.

  Nick didn’t see Serena until the afternoon on Monday. By that time he’d read the newspaper gossip column circulating around Steel TV.

  Possibly the heat they create on TV isn’t all a sham. Where were Serena and Nick while a Steel TV News van sat on a Niagara-on-the-

  Lake street most of the weekend? “We went to investigate a story and it took longer than we thought,” Nick explained to Don, but he was thinking: I didn’t want all this for Serena.

  Don put his hands in the air. “I don’t care what you do together. Or why? This adds intrigue to the show. I like it.”

  Serena won’t like it, though. And he was right. She followed him into his own office.

  Wearing a gray and white pinstriped pantsuit, and brandishing a copy of the newspaper, she said through gritted teeth, “Why the hell did you bring a Steel van on the weekend? We could have gone in one of my vehicles.”

  “I didn’t know what was going to happen between us. Did I?”

  “Maybe not, but I don’t like my personal life insinuated upon by newspaper columnists. A theater critic down for the Shaw Festival saw us.”