Heart in the Field

by Dagg, Jillian

  “It’s unfortunate we were spotted, but, as I said, I wasn’t thinking straight. I only had one thing on my mind.”

  “Sex. That’s all you’ve had on your mind since we met. Well, now you’ve had it. Satisfied?” She threw the paper down on his desk and flung her purse and briefcase on to his sofa. “Now we’ll be gossiped about. Hell! Damn!”

  He shouldn’t laugh, but he couldn’t stop himself. She was a beauty. He couldn’t get her out of his mind or her scent from his body. He’d wanted her since he met her, he’d wanted her all weekend, he wanted her now. There was no letting up. Part of him might feel worn out from having her, but it didn’t stop that same part of him from being aroused.

  “Don’t laugh,” she said. “We have to put the gossip to rest.”

  “It’ll be forgotten tomorrow.” He hoped. “Look. I didn’t want this for you, believe me.”

  Her hair was upswept and neat. She reminded him of the way she’d been the night of the party. Not the way she’d been all weekend, ruffled, hot and desperately hungry.

  “Let it be, Serena.”

  “I didn’t want anyone knowing about us.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t like stuff like that. I’m a cool chick. On the weekend I lost my head.”

  “And I lost mine. So what are we going to do about it? Go around headless?”

  She caught the ridiculous remark and laughed in a brittle manner. “I’m saying I don’t want it to happen again.”

  He felt sick. “You have to be joking.”

  “No. I’m not. It’s going to be too difficult for me on too many planes to continue.” She rubbed the side her cheek. “I had brain failure.”

  He wasn’t even seeing her now. All he could picture was a life without her, and it stretched into a bleak future. “You’ll think this over, of course.”

  “I’ve thought it over. I was up all last night.” She placed her hands on her hips. “I’m sorry, Nick. But affairs aren’t me.”

  He couldn’t think of anything else to say, or retort to, or laugh at.

  She picked up her purse and briefcase and went into her own office. He felt nauseous now. The phone rang. It was Don.

  He went into Serena’s office and said, “Don wants us in the studio for a moment.” He couldn’t even look at her. She was too bright, too painful for him.

  She went into the elevator with him.

  He didn’t ask when she had stopped using the stairs. The memory of that night was also too painful.

  Down in the studio, Nick realized that around Steel TV gossip thrived.

  Fred Dexter indicated Serena with a nod of his head. “Melted the Ice Maiden, I hear.”

  Nick said, “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

  Maybe Serena was right. Maybe they should nip their affair in the bud. Or at least give it some space for the gossip to die down.

  He left the studio before Serena, to give her that space.

  •

  Serena watched Nick leave without a word to her. Oh, well, what was she worried about? The less she saw of him, the less the gossip would flourish. By the time she returned to her office and felt the horrible sinking sensation of loss when she found Nick gone even from there, she wasn’t so sure she had done the right thing by turning him away. Maybe she had stayed up all night worrying about the consequences of her actions of the weekend, but she had also stayed up thinking about how much she loved him.

  Her voice mail light was flashing, so she checked out the message. It was her mother. “It’s urgent,” Reeva said. She phoned her mother’s office and was surprised to get her on the phone right away.

  “I was accosted by the media on the way to my office this morning, Serena. I’ve had at least a dozen phone calls. Is it true?”

  Serena slumped into her chair and pressed her fingertips into her now aching forehead. “Is what true?”

  “Your affair on the weekend with Nick?”

  She never lied to her mother. She wouldn’t dare. “Yes. It’s true.”

  “Then you’re an item?”

  “No. That’s it. Just the weekend.”

  Reeva made a clucking sound in her throat. “What are you thinking of, darling? You can’t have that type of reputation. You’re more famous in this city than you think you are. Neon Nights is watched by a lot of people. They respect you. They look up to you. At least make your affair look as if it’s a real love match.”

  “Well, it isn’t. Why lie?”

  “Because you want your show to be a success. You’ve got a hit on your hands. Besides, think of me. Think of Seth’s career. We’re all on public view. We have to be circumspect. Oh, couldn’t you have shacked up at your place for the weekend? Why go to a hotel?”

  Serena knew the answer to that. It was because she had wanted to keep her time with Nick separate and secret from her real life. But she hadn’t succeeded. She’d brought everything back with her and caused quite an explosion.

  “I don’t know, Mother. Please, don’t make it difficult.”

  “I’ll deal with it, darling. Just take it easy and don’t worry.”

  Don’t worry? How could she not worry about a weekend with Nick, when she had discovered she was in love with him.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Nick had a meeting with Don early on Tuesday morning. He hadn’t had much sleep. Thinking about Serena had kept him awake half the night. He entered Don’s office to the aroma of fresh coffee. A huge Steel mug of it was given to him by Patty Jane, Don’s assistant.

  “You look tired,” she said with a grin.

  So she’d heard also the gossip. Nick went into Don’s office. Don was on the phone, and he waved for Nick to come forward to his big desk.

  “It’s Reeva Brown-Carstairs,” Don mouthed. “She’s resigning.”

  Don went on chatting to Reeva about something else. Nick sipped his coffee. It was quite a surprise to hear that Reeva was resigning.

  “Nick,” Don said. “I’m going to put this on a conference call. Let’s talk to Reeva about appearing on Neon Nights.”

  “Nick,” Reeva said. “What do you think? I could announce my resignation at the end of the program. I like to go out in style.”

  “It’s not exactly Neon Nights type of news. But we are tight on programs near the end of October. Let me think about it.”

  “All right. Come up for dinner this evening at six, and afterwards we’ll attend The Song and Poetry Festival and we can discuss it.”

  “Sounds good,” Nick said. “I’ll be there.”

  Reeva told Nick where she lived, then Don chatted a few more minutes and disconnected the call.

  Nick frowned at Don. “She’s really not a dark enough subject for Neon Nights.”

  “We can’t say no, though. I want her to do a weekly political commentary. We already discussed that at the party.”

  Nick turned his mug around in his hands. “What do you think Serena’s reaction will be? She might not want to work with her mother.”

  Don grinned. “You can handle that. She’s your woman. I can’t believe you got that far with her, Nick. I really can’t.”

  So everyone thought they were still a going concern. Nick took the stairs down to seven, wondering if they should continue their affair for a while, or at least make it appear that they were involved in something genuine. He didn’t want people thinking he had dumped Serena after the weekend, as if he’d got what he wanted. Because he hadn’t got all he wanted. He wanted more than an affair. He wanted her company in his life. Worrying about hurting her six to eight months from now was kind of a knee-jerk reaction when she might not even care about him enough to last that long. She could be tired of him by Christmas. He would rather make it look as if their affair had petered out, than have her gossiped about because Nick Fraser had given her a dirty deal.

  He looked in at her office, but he didn’t disturb her as she was dialing her phone. He sat down at his desk to make a note of his appointment wi
th Reeva this evening, acutely aware of Reeva’s daughter through the thin dividing wall.

  •

  Serena had just come from a corridor meeting with Cam, who had asked about the progress of the Bad Men, Good Women program. She was beginning to see through Cam’s laid-back attitude. She felt it was intentional. When he could, he put the pressure on. He made you feel that if you didn’t do as he asked he would be extremely unhappy.

  Angela’s phone rang four times, and she was surprised by an answering machine. It was a man’s voice. Lawson Thomson? His voice was deep and droning, almost hypnotic. Serena didn’t bother leaving a message. If Nick’s gut instinct was correct, Angela wouldn’t want Lawson to know that Serena had been in touch with her. She would just keep trying until Angela answered the phone herself. She wasn’t happy with a situation that made her friend mistrust her, but then she was the one who had decided that Angela’s story should be told. She was the one who needed to prove something to Nick.

  Not wanting to think about Nick right now, Serena decided that she would go shopping and buy herself something to wear tonight that would meet with the approval of her mother. She had a long-standing date this evening to attend the Song and Poetry Festival to see Seth perform. Gerry was out of town for a few days, so she had been invited to dinner and to stay the night.

  Dinner at her mother’s plush apartment was always an occasion. Because she was so busy, Reeva’s meals were catered by one of her favorite chefs who threw together, Manno’s own words, wonderful, fluffy concoctions. He was a big man, with a creased, interesting face and delighted in serving Reeva and her guests. He was working in the kitchen when Serena arrived, and greeted her with a huge grin.

  “I have poured you both wine in the living room,” he said. “Now get out of my kitchen. Tonight is a surprise.”

  Serena changed clothes in her assigned bedroom and joined her mother in a room with thick peach carpet and massive windows that overlooked the sparkling lights of the city. Serena sat down in one of the plush armchairs.

  Her mother nodded to the silver tray on the table that held two crystal glasses of white wine. “Have a glass. You look nice. I like that blue silk. It complements your eyes.”

  Serena stroked the long, slim skirt over her knees. “I bought it this afternoon.” She was pleased she had as Reeva wore a glamorous emerald green suit.

  “It’s attractive.” Reeva sat down in the opposite chair and lifted her glass to her lips. “This is nice. Time like this is rare with you, Serena. Actually, a lot of things are rare since I’ve been in politics. Although,” She paused for effect. “I have decided to call it quits at the end of this term. I’m not running again.”

  Serena felt so surprised by the sudden announcement her hand swayed and her glass almost spilled. “What will you do?”

  “I’ll always find something to do, but I’d like to see more of you and more of Seth. There are also Gerry’s kids. Carrie is getting married next July, and we’d like to take the trip out to Edmonton for the wedding.” Reeva peered at the sparkle of the liquid in her glass. “I just feel that I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself for most of my life and it’s time to relax. Maybe we can get down south for a few months each winter and enjoy ourselves.”

  “I think that’s great. You deserve a good time. Have you made the announcement official yet?”

  “No. Not yet. But I was chatting to Don Steel today and he mentioned it might be worthwhile to make a public announcement on Steel TV. He just happened to have Nick in his office and we went on a conference call to suggest you do a documentary on me for Neon Nights, then I’ll announce my resignation at the end of the program. A grand farewell.”

  Serena felt the now familiar irritation with Nick and Don for making plans without her. “Did you agree to this?” She knew she sounded quite harsh.

  “I agreed. But Nick didn’t think a political program on me was really Neon Nights material. He said they might need to fill some time later in October, though.”

  Serena knew what all that was about. Nick was dubious that Bad Men, Good Women would be ready. And he was probably right. “So when does this happen?”

  “I felt I should discuss it with Nick. So I invited him to dinner and to Seth’s concert. He should be here any moment.”

  Serena was so flabbergasted at her mother’s maneuvers that she lashed out at her. “Why didn’t you ask me first about this?”

  “Because Don wants me to appear in a weekly political commentary spot. We discussed it at the party. I mentioned I might be calling it quits at the end of this term. He thought I should go out in style. You know, Don. He likes to dramatize.”

  “Yes. I know Don. And Nick. And they both like to manipulate everything. Absolutely everything.”

  Reeva’s eyebrows rose. “Darling. Don’t be so upset. This is a chance for you to be seen with Nick to keep the gossip under wraps.”

  “So you’re doing this on purpose?”

  “No. I grasped an opportunity that’s all. It’ll be for the best. Besides, I feel you need a man in your life. You’re becoming hard and bitter.”

  “I didn’t even think you liked Nick.”

  “I like him. All I said was, beware. But as you’ve gone the whole way with him, you might as well continue, otherwise it would appear to be a pretty shoddy affair. As I said yesterday, that isn’t the way you should conduct your public life. Besides, it will do you good to get out of that shell you’ve built around yourself.”

  Serena touched her throat where her dress dipped into a V. Her flesh felt hot.

  The buzzer sounded into the apartment.

  “That must be Nick,” Reeva said. “Go along to the dining room, dear. We haven’t got much time. The limo is coming at seven fifteen.”

  Serena walked through to the dining room. A maid was setting up the table with Manno’s shrimp delight starters. Serena gulped down the rest of her wine. Nick came in, dressed in one of his black suits with a white shirt and black tie. He looked superb. As usual.

  He smiled at Serena. “Surprise.”

  She acknowledged him with her head. She really had nothing to say. She hadn’t spoken to him since Monday morning, when she’d told him it was all over between them. Of course the rest of the world didn’t know that.

  •

  Nick thought Serena looked fantastic in a long-sleeved, ankle-length midnight-blue dress.

  Reeva patted his shoulder. “Sit down, Nick. Manno is a wonderful chef. You’ll love the meal.”

  Nick waited until the women were seated, then he sat down with them. The starters did look rather delicious. Everyone began eating, while Manno poured wine. Nick noticed Serena picked at her food. She would turn over a shrimp, stare at it then do the same with another one. He wondered if she felt the same emptiness inside that he felt.

  “I’ve just informed Serena that I’m not going to run a third term,” Reeva told Nick.

  “You’re not going further in politics?” he asked.

  “No. At one time I did think I might go on to provincial or federal seats. But I think I’ll have to leave that to younger, more energetic people.”

  Nick chuckled. “Even younger people aren’t as energetic as you.”

  Reeva seemed to like that remark, and patted his white cuffed wrist. “I’m wearing thin, believe me. I’m going to leave time for the family. If the family have time for me.” She let her gaze fall on her daughter. “We have plans to go to West Vale next Sunday, to take Serena and Seth out to Thanksgiving dinner.” She shifted her eyes to Nick. “You’re welcome to join us, Nick. There’s a sweet little restaurant near West Vale set in a nineteenth century stone schoolhouse. It overlooks the valley where the autumn leaves will be at their peak of color.”

  Nick was beginning to see a picture form. Everyone was taking it for granted that, after last weekend, Serena and Nick were a couple. He wondered if he should put Reeva straight, and then caught Serena’s glance. She shook her head, so he said, “I’d like that very much. Th
ank you.”

  “That’s good. And you can bring your parents as well. I’d love to meet them.” Reeva put down her cocktail fork. “I don’t like gossip in our family, especially the type that got started in the press this week. Even if you two don’t go the whole way and get married, at least your relationship, as it stands right now, will be blessed by your families.”

  Nick was quite surprised that Reeva felt the same way he did on the subject of the gossip. He ignored Serena’s deep sigh. “I agree with you. Although I’m not sure my parents will be interested in the invitation. They’ve never been people to celebrate traditional festivals.”

  “Serena will invite them, won’t you, Serena? They’ll come, don’t worry.”

  But he was worrying. What if they did decide to come? How would his parents interact with the Brown family? How would they act with him out in public?

  Manno appeared with chicken and vegetables arranged in a design on each plate. He served each plate with a flourish of his arm.

  Nick began to think that his parents would be dumbfounded by Reeva and her lifestyle. It might even do them good to get out and see a part of the world they’d missed by being so insular during their lives.

  As they ate, Reeva went on, “We’ll all be meeting at Serena’s and taking off from there next Sunday, Nick.”

  “Sounds fine to me,” he said.

  When dinner was being cleared away, and they were waiting for Reeva to fix her makeup, Serena said to him, “This isn’t the situation I wanted.”

  Nick pushed his hands into his trouser pockets. “But it’s the situation we seem to be in. If no one knew what happened last weekend we could call it quits, like you want to, but as it happens, we should go along with the ride for the time being. Your mother is very socially conscious.”

  “She has to be. She’s a politician.”

  “And we’re on TV. We have a responsibility to our viewers.”

  She tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear and stroked her earring. Nick could tell she was full of nerves. “I know.”

  “Let it go a few weeks. It’ll be forgotten.”