The Only Answer

by Magan Vernon

  “Trey? What are you doing here?”

  Monica’s eyes were wide, staring at me from behind the counter. Her tiny baby bump wasn’t even visible under her large green apron. But I wasn’t focused on that. Instead my eyes went straight for the tattooed boy next to her.

  After three years together, this was the guy she chose to be with? I never asked her to change. To remove her tattoos or even get rid of the eyebrow and belly button piercing. I never wanted to push her too hard, but maybe I had..

  Or maybe the bastard was just in the right place at the right time and went for her at her most vulnerable moment.

  My fists tightened at the thought and I stomped toward the counter.

  “Trey? Trey, are you okay?”

  Monica’s voice barely registered in my head. I wasn’t even thinking. My mouth couldn’t form words. I should have maybe thought what I was going to say, but I didn’t. Instead I just looked at the raised eyebrow and smug smirk on the guy behind the counter and I swung. My fist connected with his jaw and knocked his head to the side before I even thought about what I was doing.

  Monica gasped and the guy stumbled back.

  It only took a few seconds before I heard more gasps and the sound of flash bulbs.

  Monica rushed to the guy’s side, asking him if he was okay and probably some other things but her words swirled around me. All the sounds and visions around me melded into one. It was like when I punched the guy that tried to take advantage of Monica at Barn Dance. I wasn’t thinking of the consequences. I wasn’t thinking at all.

  Now as I glanced around, the only sound I could hear was the loud thud of my own heart. I knew that I had been in the wrong. Everyone in the lobby was staring. Everyone had their phones out and was taking pictures.

  I was in deep, deep shit.

  “Come on, Mr. Chapman. Let’s go,” A gruff voice said and tugged on my shirt.

  I looked up, recognizing one of the Secret Service men and nodded.

  “Monica, Nate, you two should probably come as well. We’re ordering a lock down of the premises.” He looked over at the two behind the counter, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see the hurt in Monica’s eyes or even worse, see her consoling the other guy.

  The man ushered us down the hall and a small stairwell toward a back room. There weren’t any windows and just a large metal desk with a few files on it. As soon as the door was closed, my body launched forward once the force of Monica’s hands were on it, pushing me.

  “What the hell was that, Trey?”

  I spun around to see her eyes wide and her teeth clenched.

  “Should I be asking you the same thing?” I spat.

  I rarely ever fought with Monica. Usually we had rational discussions about things, but there was something about that picture, the stress of the election. The guilt. All of it that had me in a heated rage.

  “What are you talking about?” She shook her head.

  I pointed at her co-worker but kept my eyes on her. “I saw the photos. You were right here in this hotel. His hand on your face. What was that, Monica?”

  “I have no idea what the he—”

  “Don’t lie to me, Monica. Please don’t lie to me.” My voice cracked. I never cried. That wasn’t my thing. I was always the strong one. I always had to be the rock, but now it felt like everything in my life was falling apart.

  “Trey, if you think there is something going on with me and Nate, you’re wrong.” She took a step closer, grabbing my hand. “I love you. He knows I’m with you, hell the whole world knows I’m with you. You’re the father of my child. We’re in the spotlight what seems like 24/7 and maybe it’s all getting to you.”

  “But...I saw a picture. He had his hand on your face...”

  Monica sighed. “The only time I could think something like that every happened was when I was crying at work. Nate comforted me. It wasn’t anything sexual. The media is trying to twist everything about our lives because of this stupid election. But at the end of the day, you know me, Trey. You know I would never do anything to hurt our relationship. Our family.”

  I sighed as her words hit me. Maybe the spotlight was finally getting to me. After twenty-two years of it, the Presidential Election was the ultimate game. The thing that would break me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” she said.

  I looked past her to see Nate standing there and holding his jaw.

  “Listen, Nate, I...”

  He waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it. If I was under as much stress as the two of you, I probably would have done the same thing. Hell, I was surprised you didn’t hit me after I asked Monica out.”

  “I beg your pardon?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

  Monica shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Seriously, this is not the best time to bring that up, Nate.”

  He shrugged. “Hey, I didn’t know you two were together or that you were pregnant, but now that I do know, I would never impose on that. You two seem good for each other and maybe it’s time you all try and take a break from this media shit.”

  I let out a deep puff of air through my nose. “I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.”

  Monica’s face fell. “Me neither...”

  Chapter 16

  Monica

  I was fuming. It took everything in me not to lash out on Trey during the cab ride home. After his little stunt with punching Nate, we were asked to leave the hotel. I didn’t know if I’d have a job any more or what the hell I was going to do.

  I was hormonal. Tired. Hungry. And I was about to unleash all of that on Trey.

  As soon as we got in the house he turned toward me, his eyes serious. “Look, Monica...”

  I held up my hand. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. What is going on with you? This isn’t the guy I fell in love with.”

  He shook his head. “You weren’t complaining that night at Barn Dance.”

  “That was different and you know it.” I narrowed my eyes. The only other time I’d ever seen Trey go off his rocker like that was when a guy tried to take advantage of me at his fraternity’s Barn Dance. That was our first and last Barn Dance together.

  Trey was always the put-together one. The gentleman. That was exactly the guy I needed when my world felt like it was falling apart. My body was betraying me, my mind was going, and now when I needed my stability, he was going just as crazy as I was.

  He sighed. “Mon, I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. I guess, jealousy? I never actually thought you would leave me but seeing him with you. The way he looked at you not just in the picture, but when I saw him today. He’s really into you.”

  I smiled even though it wasn’t really that funny. “And do you think I’m into him?”

  He shrugged, looking down at his feet. This wasn’t a Trey I was used to. His vulnerable side was one I rarely ever saw. He was always the rock. The one who didn’t let anything get to him.

  I took a few steps closer, closing the space between us. Slowly I lifted his chin until his eyes locked on mine. They were the same beautiful green hue that I couldn’t stop staring at the first day I met him. “Trey, I’m in love with you. I have been since the moment I laid eyes on you. You’re the father of my child. My future husband. My everything. All of me, loves all of you.”

  I put his hand on my stomach and as soon I did I felt a little flutter inside. Like butterflies.

  I laughed slightly, feeling the sensation again, this time a little harder. “Did you feel that?” I whispered.

  “Feel what?”

  As he spoke the tiny flutters in my stomach started again. “I think the baby is moving.” I couldn’t even hold back the tears. I’d never felt her move before. “Keep talking. I think she likes your voice.”

  He stared at me for a moment before his eyes trailed down to my stomach. He knelt down in front of me, keeping one hand on my stomach and putting his face
only an inch from my belly button. “Do you like to hear me talk? Well, you’re probably going to hear a lot of my voice for the rest of your life.”

  Instead of a flutter, an all out little push came from my stomach. Trey gasped, tilting his head back. He smiled broadly. “Was that her?”

  I nodded, the tears streaming down my face. “It is.”

  “You’re kicking for daddy? Are you going to be a little soccer player?” He kept his hand on my stomach, staring at it with the biggest grin I’d ever seen on his face.

  He’d never referred to himself as daddy and just hearing him say it brought even more tears to my eyes. I sniffled, wiping them away.

  Trey slowly stood up and ran his thumb along my cheek, wiping away the fallen tears. “I hope these are happy tears,” he whispered.

  I nodded, sniffling. “So happy.”

  He put his hands on the side of my face, forcing my eyes to meet his. “I’m sorry for everything, Monica. Every single thing I’ve ever put you through. I’ve been so stupid for so long and put politics and familial obligations in front of you. It’s taken me this long to realize that you’re one of the most important things in the world to me and I’m sorry for taking you for granted. I promise I never ever will again.”

  The tears pricked my eyes again. I hoped it was all just hormones because I wasn’t used to crying this much for being happy. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Trey. You’ve always done what you’ve thought was right. You’ve always done what’s best for both of us, even when you go and punch people without thinking.”

  He shook his head, the smile appearing back on his face and bringing out his dimples. “When it comes to you sometimes my brain gets foggy and it’s hard to think. Ever since the moment I first saw you, I knew there was never going to be anyone else. That you’re mine forever.”

  “And you’re my forever, Trey.”

  Then he did the only thing there was left to do. He leaned in and brushed his lips to mine. His mouth saying more than his words ever could. I wanted to pretend like the world would melt away. That all our problems would be forgotten and we could just disappear together forever. But I knew that wasn’t possible. I knew that we would have to go back to reality soon and it was something I definitely didn’t want to do.

  Chapter 17

  Trey

  The election was getting closer which meant smear campaigns were starting. Every time I walked into work it seemed like the current democratic president put out a new ad opposing something Dad had done as Governor. He never directly mentioned Monica nor I in his ads, but I felt like the opposition was ready to take us down when they questioned the Chapman family values.

  I needed to get away from it all. There was only once place I felt like I could really escape. A place that wasn’t that far but it had the person I felt I needed to talk to the most.

  “I’m here to see William Chapman.”

  The nurses had gotten to know me around the rehab facility. I found myself spending more and more time there. There wasn’t a flurry of reporters or cameras at every turn, or people asking me questions. It was just me and my brother, something neither of us had really had in a long time.

  “He’s out back as usual, Mr. Chapman. You can head out.” The nurse offered me a small smile.

  “Thank you, ma’am.” I nodded and walked past her toward the open doors.

  To some people, it would be weird that I spent so much time visiting my brother in rehab. Maybe it wasn’t helping his healing process, but he never asked me to leave. He just accepted that I was there, no matter what.

  “Little brother, I’m starting to think you might need some rehab of your own.” Tripp flicked his cigarette. He was sitting in the chair that I always found him in, smoking a cigarette in his stark white scrubs.

  The first time I went to see him he looked like a hollowed out version of himself with dark circles and a constant scowl. But the more time I spent with him, the less he scowled. The more he smiled. And...the more he smoked.

  “Maybe I do,” I said, taking the seat across from him as I always did.

  He laughed. “Yeah, Dad would love that one. Both Chapman boys hanging out in rehab. I’m surprised we haven’t already made some new headlines, but I think you and Monica probably have that covered.”

  I shook my head. “It’s been pretty crazy, but not much longer and it’ll all be over.”

  “I hope you’re not talking about the election, because you know if Dad wins or doesn’t win we’ll all still be in the spotlight no matter what. People have a fascination with us. They always do with the unattainable. I sometimes wonder if people actually hung out with us, would think we’re all that interesting?”

  I sighed. “It seems like everyone already thinks they know us. They think they know our story. And if they don’t know our story they seem to think they’re pretty good at making it up.”

  “Things going that bad with you and the press already?” Tripp blew a smoke ring.

  I shook my head. “Let’s just say that I think I got all of Dad’s temper and sometimes my restraint isn’t the best.”

  “What, did you punch a reporter?”

  “More like one of Monica’s co-workers because I thought he was trying to woo her.”

  Tripp laughed, slapping his knee like I’d just said the funniest thing in the world. “You’re joking, right?”

  I didn’t really think it was that funny and was more than annoyed that he was having a laugh at my expense. “I wish. I was at the grocery store and saw some pictures and instead of thinking, I just went for it.”

  “Maybe you should have been thinking with the head on your shoulders instead of the one in your pants.”

  “Nice, Tripp,” I scoffed.

  “Hey, I’m telling you the truth. We’ve all done it. You just seem to go a little crazier for this girl than the rest of us have for anyone. Or anything.”

  “I love her, Tripp. More than anything. And this girl is not just any girl. She’s carrying my child. Who, by the way, has started moving and it’s probably one of the coolest things I’ve ever experienced.”

  “I’m happy that you’re happy, little brother.” His face fell and instead of looking at me, he stared off onto the lawn.

  “What about you? You’ve had a different girl just about every week. I’m guessing you probably even have some nurse you’ve been eyeing here or something.”

  He shook his head. “Naw. No nurses. No girls. Just me hanging out and listening to a bunch of people try to psychoanalyze me.”

  “And are you listening to them?” I raised an eyebrow.

  He flicked his cigarette, stubbing out the last of it. “Some of it. People really only ask you questions because they want a certain answer and if you don’t give it to them, they’ll just keep poking and prodding.”

  “So you’re just leading them on and letting them think what they want to think until they let you go?”

  “Don’t ask questions when you don’t want to know the answer.” He tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair.

  “Why are you here then?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t poking too much and that he would give me a real answer.

  “We all have our vices, Trey. We all have to try and find ways to control them. It was this or jail and Dad didn’t give me much of a choice on that one. He also didn’t give me a choice on if I’d be out or not for the election. Gotta have all of the Chapman boys by his side.”

  “You kind of give Dad a hard time. You know it’s not easy on him either,” I said.

  He laughed slightly. “Didn’t mean Dad had to be a hard ass on the rest of us for years. We’ve all had to keep up this perfect Chapman persona. It’s always been fucking exhausting for me. I don’t know how you did it for so long.”

  I shrugged. “This is just who I am. I don’t know how to be anything else.”

  “You are who you are. No one faults you for that. At least you know what you want and you’ve always gone for it.” He drummed his fingers
on the arm of the chair. “Me? I’ve always been one of the lost boys.”

  “You’re not making any sense right now. You went to Dartmouth. You’ve always had everything together.”

  “On the outside. You show people what you want them to see and they’ll make their own judgments. Don’t end up like me, Trey. Don’t hide your demons. Don’t live a lie.”

  I stared at my brother, really looking at him for the first time and taking it all in. The tattoos. The hair. The piercings. Everything that he’d always kept covered. Out here, he could be himself and not dictated by what Dad had to say. Maybe that’s why he was always drowning himself.

  “You shouldn’t live one either, Tripp. Maybe you should find what you really want and stop doing things just to please Dad.”

  He laughed softly. “I’ve been living this beautiful lie for so long I’m not even sure who I am anymore.”

  “Maybe once you get out of here you can finally figure it out and if you need help with that, you know I’m always here for you.”

  He turned slightly toward me. It was as if he was looking right through me instead of at me. Like he could see everything and nothing. “Thanks, Trey. I’ll try and remember that.”

  “You’d better. I’m counting on having you around more.”

  He smiled. “I don’t think you and that baby are ever getting rid of the favorite uncle.”

  “How do you know Trigg isn’t the favorite or Monica’s brother?” I countered.

  He shook his head slowly. “I guess I don’t, but I’d have to trust that you’ll keep me around even if Dad tries to disown me at some point.”

  “Dad wouldn’t do that. He may be hard on us, but he really does care about all of us. That’s why you’re in here, to get better. It’s why he’s trying everything he can with me and Monica.”