Soothing His Madness

by Kayn, Debra

  He turned Taylor around, so her back was to the dead man. "Everyone is safe now."

  He remembered everything. After hell broke loose outside when Los Li opened fire on Bantorus, the club tapped the danger down by returning fire. Los Li members drove away in a long string of cars, heading away from Cactus Cove. He'd stayed outside to secure the area. Somehow, the man he killed had stayed behind and got past security in the back of Cactus Cove, and Slade caught him.

  "Honey, Torque's hurt." Taylor slid her fingers into Slade's hand. "Bad."

  That explained why the back door was accessible and left unprotected. Slade had gone by himself to cover the back door of the bar and the cabins. "Jesus…," he muttered.

  Rain walked toward him. Slade stepped out into his path. "Torque?"

  "Gunshot to the shoulder. Ginger got the bullet out as you were coming in the back. Missed the bone and looks like the muscle wasn't damaged." Rain glanced at Taylor and then back to Slade. "Give me ten minutes, and then first riders meet in the room. Then you can take your family home. Areas been secured, and riders have reported that Los Li are heading north on I-5. They'll follow until they hit Seattle, so everyone here is okay. Lockdown is now lifted."

  "Good." Slade held Taylor tighter.

  Rain put his hand on Taylor's shoulder. "Can you look in on the kids and help Tori. Tell her everything is locked and tight."

  Taylor glanced at Slade, who nodded, and she said, "Sure…Torque? He'll be all right?"

  "Yeah, sweetheart, he'll be fine." Rain left them alone and returned to the bar.

  Slade ushered Taylor down the hall, thankful the dead man he'd shot was gone. He made eye contact with Ronny, Tim, and Jedman. At the door to the kids' room, he knocked and shouted out his name. Taylor inhaled deeply and moistened her lips. He wanted to take away her worry, but today's shit went down bad. Until he met with the club, he had no idea what would come of today's results.

  The door cracked open and Tori peered out. "Rain?"

  "He's fine." Slade put his hand on Taylor's back. "She's going to help you get the kids settled, while we hold a meeting. Then we'll come and pick up the kids."

  Tori slumped against the door. "Okay."

  He closed the door once Taylor walked inside, and pushed the thought of his kids hearing the gun outside their door. A piece of two-inch wood separated them from witnessing a killing. If he had his wishes, Lee and Kurt would never know what their father did today. But he couldn't hide reality from them. He couldn't take away the danger. He couldn't kill the madness surrounding him.

  By the time Slade walked into the bar, Torque lay on the table, covered with a blanket and knocked out cold. He clenched his empty hand, still feeling the shape of the pistol handle as he squeezed off the shot that killed another human being.

  "Heads up. We've got company." Jedman motioned for Ginger and Ronny to get rid of the bloody towels. "Clear the area. It's the cops."

  Slade's chest tightened. The implications of killing a man, having his kids on the other side of the door where he murdered a Los Li member, would kill any chance of keeping his boys. He moved over to the door on shaky legs and waited for a sign that he was to let their visitors inside. When the sign came, he flipped the switch and pulled the door open.

  Officer Bob Corbin and Deputy Stellor walked inside, looking around. "Evening, gentlemen."

  Both of the police officers' gazes skimmed over Torque lying on the tables. Slade stepped up to them. "Something we can do for you?"

  Officer Corbin raised his brows. "I'm investigating a disturbance of gunshots in the area and a rash of cars speeding toward I-5, followed by a group of motorcyclers. You wouldn't happen to know anything about what sounded like a war zone on this side of town, would you?"

  Slade rearranged the stocking cap over his hair. "Nope. I haven't heard a thing."

  Corbin's mouth tightened and he turned, heading straight toward Torque. Jedman sidestepped, blocking him from getting too close. "I wouldn't do that."

  "Is something wrong with Mr.…Torque?" Corbin put his hand on the butt of the pistol on his holster.

  "You mean something other than drunk off his ass and pissed off over the price of new wheels for his Dyno?" Jedman shrugged. "Not that I know."

  Deputy Stellor eyed Jedman's swollen nose, the cut above his brow, and said, "I've never known the Bantorus to hold a beat down during club meetings?"

  "Then you haven't been around much. Last week, I dislocated Rain's shoulder after he tried to give my turn to ride away to Ronny." Slade walked backward, put his hand on the door, and swept his other arm through the air. "Let me escort you two out now that you've done your civic duty and you can see that the town of Pitnam is safe from the bikers."

  The tension in the room stunk. Members were primed to retaliate against Los Li, and not even the police department would be able to stop them. The club came first, especially when one of their own got took down.

  Slade looked behind his shoulder at Rain as he walked out the door following the officers. He wanted to assure his prez that Corbin wouldn't be a problem going forward.

  Corbin hung back, letting Stellor walk alone to the patrol car. Slade hooked his hands under his armpits and waited. When they were alone, Slade said, "I trust this won't go any further?"

  Corbin slammed on his hat. "There's only so much I'll ignore before my job is in jeopardy. I can delay the inevitable, but when the outside of the bar is sporting bullet holes and there's a California plated car with its windows bashed in at the edge of the parking lot, people are going to ask questions. What am I supposed to say?"

  "It'll be cleaned up by morning." Slade lowered his voice. "The situation is covered."

  Corbin then turned his way and pinned him to the spot. "Get Torque to the hospital before he dies."

  "Can't do it." He shook his head. "All gunshots will be reported, and his insurance company will investigate. We'll take care of him here."

  Slade hoped he spoke the truth. He didn't know enough about Torque's condition to feel comfortable forecasting how Torque will recover. He only knew Ginger worked as a paramedic before landing in Pitnam and working tables at the bar. She never shared her background, but Bantorus members trusted her and she knew how to stitch up wounds better than any nurse he'd seen.

  Corbin sniffed and cleared his throat. "You get this shit cleaned up and make it soon."

  "We will," Slade said.

  The police officer walked off, stopping a few feet away, and turned. "Sorry to hear about your kids, Ramchett. Bum deal."

  His muscles seized and he schooled his features. "Yeah," he mumbled.

  Corbin continued to his rig, and pulled out of the parking lot. Slade remained outside, getting his thoughts together. Too many people knew he'd lost his boys. If Corbin or Stellor got a whiff that he'd taken his boys back, they'd question a court ordered judgment. He headed back inside the bar.

  With attention on Los Li, the shooting aimed at Bantorus MC, his kids hiding out; he had the devil breathing down his back. He had no idea if he'd slipped up and not covered his tracks. He couldn't think or plan for a disaster. How many people knew he'd swiped his kids out from under Jodie's nose?

  The secretary at the boys' school had his back. Taylor had his back. The club had his back. Yet there were still too many guns pointing at him, ready to kill everything he worked hard to keep, and he had to contain his troubles.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The air compressor at Shift's Garage shut off. Taylor walked across the bay, careful of the air hose strung across the cement floor. Slade asked her to meet him at work, but she'd arrived early and waited until Gary left the area before walking into the garage.

  While she'd waited, she watched. The frown lines on Slade's face worried her. He'd been in a constant quiet mood all week, since getting out of lockdown. She wondered if there were problems at work for him too. He had missed a lot of scheduled workdays lately, not that his absences could be helped.

  Whatever continu
ed to bother him, he wasn't sharing his troubles with her. They both worked their individual shifts, and took care of the boys on their free time. At night when she got home from the bar, they had sex, and went to sleep only to wake up the next day and start all over again.

  It wasn't bad, but it wasn't right. Slade had retreated to keeping any conversations away from their relationship. She moistened her lips while she waited for Slade to turn around and realize she'd arrived. She wasn't blameless. Many times, she'd wanted to talk, but refrained because Slade needed the calm after everything that'd happened. Her concerns could wait.

  Slade turned around. She waved and smiled. His eyes softened and he motioned her over to the tool rack.

  She approached him, stretched up on her toes, and gave him a kiss. "Almost done?"

  He rubbed his thumb along her jaw. "Yeah, more than ready to go home. Did you talk with Janice about watching the kids after school from now on?"

  Slade's next-door neighbor was thrilled to watch the boys and for the added income to offset her social security. At sixty-five years old, Janice was spry enough to keep up with two active kids and sedate enough to let them believe she wasn't their babysitter, but an adult present if they needed her. "Yep. They walked to her house after school, and Janice called the bar to let me know they'd arrived safely. I also asked Rain if I could change my schedule and only work three nights a week. I gave Ginger my one afternoon I work the lunch and dinner crowd. That way Janice only has to watch the boys twice a week."

  Slade paused taking off his coveralls. "Why would you do that?"

  "Are you serious?" She tilted her head. "I want to be home with the boys and you during dinner."

  "I got things under control." He lifted his booted leg and unzipped the side of the pant leg. "Call Rain and let him know you don't need to rearrange your schedule for me."

  She glanced around to make sure no one was overhearing their conversation, and then shook her head. "I want to do this."

  He threw his coveralls over on the bench, put his hand on her back, and walked her outside. "What do you want from me?"

  "What do I…?" She stopped, put her hand on his chest, halting him from walking away from her. "Listen, I know you've been stressed and we haven't had time to really sit down and talk without the boys or a Bantorus member around, but why would you think I'd want something from you?"

  "Don't you?" His question came out sharp and blunt.

  "No." She scoffed. "I also don't like how you're asking questions instead of just answering my question. If I wanted to play a guessing game, I'd let you know. But I'm not going to stay quiet, and let you continue being in a pissy mood all the time."

  "I'd be happy if you do keep your complaints to yourself. If you think I enjoy hearing how you've rearranged your life and standing here while you throw it in my face, I don't. I also don't like you going to Rain and asking favors, because you believe I can't handle my own kids." He walked off and climbed on his bike.

  She stood in the middle of the parking lot, staring after him, unable to understand what had happened. She did nothing wrong.

  Slade planted both hands on the handlebar of his motorcycle and gazed back at her. When she didn't come to him straight away, his hands came off and his shoulders slumped. He looked away. She walked over to him.

  "I don't know if I'm supposed to let you have space when you get in a mood or it means I need to force you to talk. I don't want you to distance yourself from me. I also don't want to start an argument, because what we're arguing about is stupid. I want to be with the boys and you, that's all. I'll do fine with a few less hours at work. Most of my money comes from working nights and getting the tips from the bikers." She waited to gather her thoughts, and then continued. "You want me and I want you, but I don't think you've wrapped your head around what that means…or maybe I took it wrong. If you want me for a roommate you can sleep with at your convenience, then you need to tell me that. We've had that arrangement before, you came over at least three or four times a week, and I enjoyed us being together. I think it can be better now that I'm your old lady, but you're not making it easier."

  Two cars pulled out of the lot. Slade watched them go, ignoring her. She shifted to her left foot and waited. Both of them needed to leave their problems here and not take it home with them. The last thing the boys needed to hear was more arguing. They needed to give the kids a stable environment and so far, that hasn't happened.

  Slade squinted at her. "I'm living a lie and dragging you into my mess. I worry about someone at the school notifying the judge that I've got the kids and someone ripping them away permanently from my life. I work while you're at the bar, and I can't concentrate, because I'm worried every man that stumbles into the bar might hurt you, because of your association with me."

  "That's not going to—"

  "You want to hear what's wrong or not? I'm not finished." He took his stocking cap out of his back pocket and stretched it over his head. "I hate that I can't take care of my woman and she has to work in a bar, because I'm broke, living paycheck to paycheck. I gave Ray everything I had to keep my family together and I'm doing a fucked up job of it."

  "You're taking too much of the responsibility onto your shoulders, honey," she said.

  "Today, I heard Ray came looking for me at the garage while I ran to the parts store. That's twice he's come around. I know what he wants, and I refuse to deal with him any longer. He's taken everything from me." Slade looked her in the eyes, the turmoil etched in his skin. "You're picking up the slack, taking care of my kids, and making our lives resemble a normal family. Every time I hear you do something that's my responsibility, it cuts, baby girl."

  Could she love him anymore? Inadvertently, she'd attacked the very essence of him. She'd known all along what kind of man he was, and he would not sit back and let anyone overshadow him. That strong personality attracted her to him in the first place. Somehow, she'd overstepped how much he could accept.

  "I never meant to make you feel like you're lacking. I honestly enjoy being a part of your life and helping out with the kids." She stepped closer. "I know you can get a babysitter for them, take them to school each morning, and make their dinner at night. If it's important for you to handle everything, I can step back, but know that I don't think of it as extra work and I'd like to be someone they can lean on. I also want you to lean on me, because that's what kind of relationship I want."

  "Baby." He tagged her hand, dragging her against his leg. "You're not getting it. I can't do it alone. I thought I could, and look where it's gotten me. I need you. I need to get Ray and Jody out of our lives. I need to be the man of the family, and I don't care if that makes me an egotistical bastard, my woman is going to be there for me. I'm struggling, and half the time I don't know how to fix all this shit. Everything pisses me off."

  "That's why I'm trying to help, but you have to let me in," she said.

  "Right." He tipped her chin. "Look at me."

  She brought her gaze up to his and melted. She'd be a fool not to see the truth in his eyes.

  "I love you." He leaned over until their foreheads touched. "Don't give up on me," he whispered. "Don't give up on us as a family."

  She tilted to kiss him. "Never."

  A loud pop followed by the sensation of falling came before his lips touched hers. The asphalt met the side of her body, and she grunted from the impact, blind to everything because Slade had buried her head in his chest and rolled on top of her.

  Loud bangs echoed in her ears. She screamed clutching onto Slade, afraid someone shot him. His body a dead weight on hers, she couldn't move.

  "Slade, answer me," she said.

  He put his mouth on the top of her head. "I'm here. Stay down."

  Pressed under his body, she could hardly breathe. The back of her head dug into the ground. Her heart raced, and she struggled to inhale enough air to keep her aware of what was going on. Everything happened so fast.

  "Fuck, they're heading back." He shift
ed, then ear deafening shots… boom, boom, boom, consumed her whole being. Each explosion jolted her body as if hitting their target.

  They were going to die lying on the ground. She'd never have the time to convince him she was wrong in how she handled everything. The kids—oh God, the kids wouldn't understand if Slade never came to pick them up.

  "Come on, stay low." He pulled her to her feet.

  She followed his directions, running beside him to the garage. Slade pressed her against the wall as Gary came out to meet them, shutting the humongous roll down doors and closing them inside the building. She hugged her middle. Her whole body shook and she was thankful for the wall holding her up.

  "Did you see who it was?" Gary pulled out his cell phone and tapped at the screen.

  Slade tore off his stocking cap and shoved it in his back pocket. She gazed at the blood trickling down his arm from where he must've gashed his elbow when he tackled her. She inspected her body, her legs, her arms, and concluded she was okay. She couldn't tell, because she had no feeling left in her.

  "Yeah, it was Los Li. I recognized the hood ornament." Slade kicked out, sending a pile of tires rolling in all directions. "I'm going to stop this. No one comes after my family."

  Gary finished his conversation on the phone. "First riders are coming over. Rain wants you to stay put."

  "You think?" He grunted in frustration. "Fuckers come after my woman and me, and you think I'm going to take her back out there?"

  "Man, check yourself." Gary lifted his chin in Taylor's direction.

  Slade's whole body changed. He stalked over to her and instead of pulling her toward him, he leaned into her. Caught between the wall and Slade's hard chest, she gave up the fight of standing.

  "Sh, baby girl. I got you. Nothing is going to happen to you," he said. "I promise you."