Uncivilized

by Laura Stapleton

  Lacy held a full coffee cup out to Jack. “Dear, would you like sugar?”

  “Sure, honey.” He winked. “Maybe a spoonful or two.”

  “Very well.” She measured and stirred his drink before giving it to him. “Ellen, how about you? Would you like some sugar in your coffee?”

  Ellen looked at Pa then Lacy. “Um, no thank you. I like it plain, please.” She took the steaming cup, not daring to look at her father. Had this been a test, something he and Mrs. Benson discussed before this morning? The Bensons had plenty of sugar, certainly enough to spare for coffee from here to Oregon City. Still, Ellen had been unnerved by this morning enough.

  Half the morning passed before all the cattle were found. By then, she’d washed dishes and a few other things besides. Cleaning helped with her nervous energy and gave Buster clean clothes as well. Ellen smiled at the double success as Lucky’s bugle sounded to start them rolling. They followed the river with its trees lining the banks for most of the day. Noon ended up being later than usual. For the first time since Fort Hall, she and the others saw real buildings. Some were homes, not military forts. Ellen slowed, wondering what sort of person could live out here in the wilderness. Civilization had to be closer than she thought, with so many ordinary houses here. A rush of motivation put a spring in her step just in time for them to stop after crossing the Umatilla River. She chuckled at how easy it was to cross. No capsizing, no one drowning, and she liked it that way.

  They camped opposite an abandoned fort. Ellen agreed with Sam’s decision, even if they had fewer trees to find wood under. Nearly everyone else stayed on the ruins’ side, and she almost wanted to join them. She wanted to poke around in the foundations to see what sort of trinkets had been left behind. People and wagons milled around, obscuring the view from her sometimes. She shook her head. Nothing probably remained, thanks to all the scavengers before now. Ellen looked around for her family, wanting to make sure her brothers got something to eat before they continued on. The wagons pulled into their nightly semicircle as if camping there. She frowned, knowing it was too early for that.

  “Ellen!”

  She turned to see Marie waving at her. The leader’s wife might know the plans for today. “Hello! Are we stopping for the night, then?”

  Giving her a brief hug, she replied, “Yes. Sam says this is the best camp for the next thirty miles or so. He said something about a creek between here and the John Day River, but it’s not reliable.”

  She walked with her friend and stayed quiet instead of arguing. Ellen would rather they press on from here and not waste nearly half a day. She had to concede that her impatience to marry Del clouded her judgment and that Sam might know better than her.

  “He’s just as unhappy as you about the delay.”

  “What? I didn’t say anything.”

  Marie laughed. “You didn’t have to, dear. It’s all right. Del is still moping about having to wait an entire half day before moving on too.” She patted Ellen’s arm. “Your family is up ahead. Could you join us for dinner tonight? We’ve not talked properly in days and I miss you.”

  “I miss you too.” She gave the woman a hug. “Yes, I’ll be there tonight just because you asked me.” Her friend’s smirk made her chuckle. “Not for any other reason, much.”

  “All right. See you then.”

  With a little wave, Marie went to her husband’s camp. Ellen shook her head, still grinning over the other woman’s perception. Sure, seeing Del was a motivation, but she missed her friend too. At her own family’s wagon, Lacy stood at the tailgate with Buster.

  “Ellen! Your brother wet himself again. I don’t know where Skeeter is, probably out playing with Caleb.” She motioned her over. “Come here and clean him up while I help Jack with the livestock.”

  She drew closer and Buster took the chance to jump into her arms. The wet from his clothes soaking into hers frustrated Ellen. She kept from grimacing; knowing her dress needed a good scrubbing anyway. “Do you and your son have washing for me to do too? I could be doing that while you all gather firewood.”

  “Oh, that’s right. I think Jack wanted you to fetch wood this afternoon for us.” Lacy patted her on the shoulder. “You have time and can gather while the clothes dry.”

  “Very well,” she said while despairing of having any time with Del this afternoon. He’d understand how her family needed her. “I’ll start by scrubbing down this little man.” She scooped him up like a little sack of potatoes, pausing only to grab clean clothes for him. Pa’s new woman was right, she thought while headed down to the river. Never mind her dress. She held the last clean diaper Buster had.

  They did their usual ritual of him playing in the water and her washing his wet pants. By the time she was done, Ellen was drenched and Buster dry. She laughed as he ran up the bank. Her soaked skirt slowed her down and would until she could change into dry clothes too. No sense in doing so until everything was drip-drying. Soon, she had every surface used as a clothesline of sorts.

  Ellen hopped into and secured the wagon before she shrugged out of her wet dress and into a dry one. Most of the people she’d seen with firewood had brought it up from the south. Exploring to the north while completing a chore sounded fun, especially when shaded by trees and serenaded by a river. She followed a path along the bank, picking up broken branches along the way. So absorbed in her task, she gave a little yelp when she noticed Del in front of her leaning against a tree.

  “Hello, ma coeur.”

  Happiness bubbled out of her in a chuckle. “Hello, my handsome man.”

  He pushed off to walk up to her. “I like that.” Nodding at her armload, he asked, “Do you need help?”

  Looking down, Ellen realized she’d overloaded herself with branches and twigs. “I suppose so.” He began unbuttoning his shirt and she swallowed. “Um, what were you doing out here and what are you doing now?”

  Del laid his shirt on the ground, open with the sleeves outstretched. “I was hunting until a herd of buffalo in the form of one petite woman walked up to me. Now, I’m helping her carry wood back to her family.” He smiled at her. “You act as if you’ve never seen me shirtless before. Place your bundle here and I’ll tie it up for you.”

  “Oh.” Her face burned because he was right. She had been staring. His skin was so smooth and she struggled to keep from touching him. Memories of how he felt in her arms wouldn’t let her go. She put down the bundle, watching as he tied the sleeves. A slight reach out and she’d be able to run her fingers through his short black hair. “Del.”

  He straightened and pulled her to him, taking her lips with his. One of them moaned, but she couldn’t be sure who. His arms wrapped around her body and trapped her against him. Ellen snuggled into him, running her hands down his bare back and up again. His lips left hers to trail down her throat and to her shoulder. He growled, “I could rip this from you right now.”

  “I could let you if I had a dress nearby.” She grinned at the shudder sweeping him, glad to not be the only one suffering from such temptation. “We might only do what we did the last time we were alone.”

  Del paused only for a second on his way back to her ear. “You tempt me, coeur. But no, not today.” He chuckled at her whimper. “I know and feel the same. This is a popular trail and we have no lookout.”

  She pulled away from him. “You mean Sam knew what we were doing? Del! I’m so ashamed.”

  “He didn’t know exactly.” He picked up her bundle. “I told him nothing, only that I wanted time alone with you.”

  “We’re the only ones who…?”

  “Yes, and I would keep it that way.” Del led them back toward camp.

  “So would I.” She reached out and traced a finger down the middle of his back; enjoying the goose bumps she gave him. “I care about my reputation, certainly, but also want you all to myself.” He stopped in midstride and Ellen ran into him. “Oh! What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just wanted your touch one last time.”
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  Hidden behind his back, she kissed him between his shoulder blades. “Thank you.”

  “Could you hand this over to your family?” He held up the bundle. “Then run away with me?”

  “I could, yes, but would you want a wife who found abandoning her family so easy to do?”

  “Merde.” Despite the swear word, he grinned and gestured forward. “Allons, mon amour,” he said as they continued back to camp.

  Ellen wanted to reach out and touch his skin again. The muscles underneath moved gracefully under the smoothness. She smiled, enjoying his tensed arm from behind as he carried her firewood. Too soon, they reached the clearing and she stepped up to walk beside him. “Marie has asked me to dinner this evening. I’m hoping you’ll be there as well.”

  “I’d planned on it.”

  She grinned at him. “Will you be hunting or fishing for this evening?”

  “That depends on what you w—”

  “Stop right there!” hollered Pa.

  They did as he’d ordered and Ellen gasped. Jack held a rifle that was aimed at Del’s chest. “Pa, no! He was just helping me carry firewood.”

  “I know what he was helping you with, young lady.” He pulled the hammer back two clicks. “Skeeter and Caleb told me everything. For an Indian, your lover isn’t very good at noticing things.” Pa took a couple of steps forward. “Like noticing where he’s not wanted.”

  The bundle Del held between them kept Ellen from stepping in front. Pa might smack her around, but he’d never kill her in broad daylight. “Come on, Pa. The boys couldn’t have told you about something that didn’t happen. Mr. Du Boise was just helping me back to camp.” She thought about leaping before deciding any sudden moves might itch his trigger finger. The rifle’s hammer had clicked twice. A sneeze might fire the shot.

  “What do you say, Mister Du Boise? Or do you let squaws speak for you?”

  Del’s eyes narrowed. “No one speaks for me when I have a voice of my own. Miss Winslow merely stated facts. She needed help so I helped her.”

  Ellen glanced around at the crowd forming around them. Pa loved nothing more than an audience. Even worse, she saw a glint of light from a cap on his rifle. He wasn’t making an empty threat, and she moved to get in front of Del.

  “Here.” He gave her the firewood. “Take this to your camp, now.”

  “No, I need to stay with—”

  “Go.” Del shoved the bundle at her and she stumbled a little.

  Pa raised the rifle, eye to the sights. “Now then, it seems you need a little lesson that I mean what I say.” Before Ellen could protest, Pa’s rifle shot exploded in the summer air. The noise startled a scream from her. Del’s eyes were closed until Jack began laughing. “Check his pants. See if he soiled them, Ellen. You’re always cleaning up Buster. This big baby shouldn’t be a problem.”

  She went to Del, holding him close. He wrapped his arms around her, slow as if forgetting how to move properly. Ellen rested her cheek against his clean chest and sobbed. Had Pa missed him entirely? Thanking God and every saint who would listen, she leaned back to look at his intact body. She glanced up at him and trembled. A hard fury had turned his face to granite. “Del, are you hurt?”

  Sam walked up to them, Lucky and Arnold behind him. “What in hell is going on here? Are you shooting within sight of camp, Mr. Winslow? Tell me I didn’t hear a rifle.” He nodded at Jack’s weapon. “Not this particular rifle.”

  “Yeah, it was me.” Pa rested the butt of the gun against the ground, still grinning. “I just wanted to teach him a lesson to leave my daughter alone. Boys told me he and Ellen were kissing and I can’t abide that.”

  Del cleared his throat before speaking. “He’s a horrible shot. No wonder his family starves.”

  “Shows what you know. I don’t have any powder or shot.”

  Giving his friend a warning glare, Sam stepped between the two. “Nevertheless, Mr. Winslow, no more shooting from so close to the camps. Not unless your life is in danger. Adelard, we need to talk.” He looked at the bundle. “That’s your shirt, I presume?” He motioned to Caleb and Skeeter before squatting to untie Del’s shirt from around the firewood. “Boys? Take this wood back to your camp.” Sam straightened and took a couple of steps over to Winslow. “I’d suggest you supervise your son for the moment. Build a fire, clean your rifle, do anything except let me see your face for the next couple of days, got it?”

  Jack nodded, his face paling at the younger man’s tone. “Yeah, I have chores to do anyway. Ellen, come on.”

  Sam shook his head and went to the couple. “She’ll be there in a moment. I need to have a talk with her as well.” He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand as Jack slunk off as ordered.

  “Sam—” Del began.

  “No, you don’t need to explain or argue anything.” He held up a hand. “I don’t care what you were doing. You’re both adults.” He turned to Ellen. “Mostly adults, anyway.”

  “I am an adult, Mr. Granville.”

  “I understand that, Miss Winslow, but I can’t have this sort of occurrence again. We’re two weeks from home, and I’d rather not have a shootout among my people.” He handed over Del’s shirt. “And you. I’m glad he didn’t kill you.”

  “Me too.”

  Sam ran a hand through his hair. “Del, you can’t stay with us anymore. I don’t want you to leave, but I can’t have Winslow shooting at you. He didn’t think to raid Mrs. Benson’s wagon for buckshot, thank God, or you’d be dead right now.”

  He shrugged into his shirt. “I’ve never been so glad for someone’s ineptitude.”

  “Me neither.” Sam paused for a moment. “So, I’ll see you in Oregon City?”

  Del looked down at Ellen before nodding. “Yes, I’ll be there.”

  “No,” she whispered and then cleared her throat when tears filled her eyes. “I don’t want you to go just yet.”

  “Could you come with me?” Del took her hand. “You know how well Pomme rides two.”

  She opened her mouth to say yes as a movement caught her eye. Skeeter and Buster came out from behind a wagon, a dark spot showing in front of his pants where the little boy had had an accident. A sob escaped her before she said, “I can’t. They need me too much.”

  He glanced over at them and smiled. “I understand how that feels. I need you too, but I can wait until you catch up.” His chin trembled before he looked back at her. “Take care of yourself and them, please.” He took her in his arms when she began crying. “Mon coeur, I know. Je t’amie. So much.”

  Ellen wiped her eyes and sniffled. “I love you too, Del. Promise me we’ll find each other again.”

  “Of course we will.” He leaned back from her and tilted up her chin. “Here you are with a wet face and no handkerchief, I’ll bet.” He took a soft cloth from his pocket and wiped her tears. “No, not a hiney rag and not yours to keep. You’ll return it when we next meet.”

  She accepted his gift and gave him a watery smile. “It’s rather small when I want a hug from you. This can’t wrap around me like your arms do.”

  He bit his lip as if thinking. Giving her a wry grin, Del tore the pocket loose from his shirt. “It won’t be enough, I know. But take this and sew it to your skirt. When you need me, put your hand in my pocket and it’ll be like I’m holding you too.”

  The idea made her chuckle. “As if anything could replace you.”

  “I hope not.” He glanced to the west before looking back at her. “It’s merely a token, a reminder of how much I love you. Keep the handkerchief in your pocket for when you cry. Return it when you’re ready to marry me.”

  She laughed with a little cough. “If I were an only child, we’d be married already.”

  He took her in his arms, holding her close. “It will happen, I promise. Reach me safely, my love. If I don’t leave now, I never will and your father will have to kill me.”

  “Not while I’m alive.” Ellen pressed her lips against his neck before releasing him.
“Good bye, Del.”

  “Non, it’s au revoir. Until we meet again.”

  She nodded, her heart aching as Sam led him away. Her brothers still stood next to a wagon and she went to them. “So, it seems someone needs to play in the water again.”

  “I’m sorry, sis. It was Caleb who—”

  “Skeeter, I don’t want to hear anything from you right now.” Her voice came out sharper than expected. “Let’s just get Buster clean and dry. I’m hungry and I’m sure you are too.”

  All through dinner, she ignored the little jabs Pa made at her. Grapevine gossips had already spread word that Del had left not long after Pa’s trick. Reacting to his taunts only fed his ego, and she refused to do that. Instead, she ate dinner with a smile on her face. No matter that it couldn’t reach her eyes. Pa was too full of himself to notice anything as insignificant as her sorrow. Without a word, she finished eating and waited until everyone else was done as well. Her desire to be alone grew so strong that she struggled to keep from taking half empty plates from everyone’s hands. At long last, when the last bite had been taken, Ellen gathered everything for washing.

  The riverbank seemed to swarm with other ladies and a few men washing dinner dishes. She waited for a little while before a place for her opened up next to Jenny. She smiled at her friend before settling in to clean.

  “Ellen! I heard about today’s excitement. Are you all right? No one was really shot, right?”

  “No, Pa was just joking with Del.”

  “Someone told me, probably Lucky, that he left us entirely.”

  Ellen struggled to stay civil. “Mr. Lucky is correct. Del went on without us.”

  “That’s too bad. Still, I’m rather glad he’s gone. He seemed like a nice man, rescuing you and all. But he’s an Indian, partly, and no one can really trust him.”

  “Oh,” said Ellen through clenched teeth. Learning a juicy bit of gossip was the only reason the girl talked so much now, she suspected.