Uncivilized

by Laura Stapleton

  She looked for Marie among the people walking west and avoided her. Ellen knew she needed to be more sociable. Later today, she promised her guilty conscience. She just wanted to be alone in the crowd.

  “Ellen!”

  Marie’s voice took her out of her own mind. Ellen smiled at her friend, pushing away the irritation at having her musings interrupted. “Yes?”

  “Come here and eat a little. Sam went ahead to the post and traded for some dried fruit and it’s divine.” She held out a sack. “Show me your hands.” Ellen cupped her palms together and her friend poured out a few flattened apples and apricots. “There, that should tide you over until supper tonight.”

  “Hmm.” She took a bite of the apricot. The fresh flavor of summer danced along her taste buds as she chewed. Ellen swallowed, saying, “I might have to stop in and see what else the post has. Buster needs more clothes for sure, Skeeter too.” She nibbled on a chewy apple ring, already wishing Marie had more to share.

  “We’ll be rolling by there soon. I can have Lefty stop the wagon for you.”

  “That would be perfect. Thank you.” She held up the last apricot and a raisin. “And for these as well.”

  “My pleasure. I think Buster is still gnawing on his and Skeeter didn’t take long to finish. I might give them extra in a little while.”

  She nodded, not trusting her voice as Marie went off to her new tasks. Ellen hurried to the Granville wagon as it slowed. “Hello, Mr. Lefty.”

  “Howdy, Miss. Let me know when you’re done hunting around back there.”

  “Will do.” She climbed over the tailgate and went for her trunk. The lid flopped off when she lifted it. Ellen made a mental note to fix the strap later. Now, she hunted through the blankets, looking for an entire dish set she could trade. She had a little of everything and a lot of nothing. What man or even woman out here would swap clothes for fancy dishes? Ellen couldn’t imagine. She set down a plate and heard a metallic clink. Silverware. She dug into the trunk and found a few tarnished forks, knives, and spoons. People could use these as is or melt them down for the metal. Ellen separated out four of each for her, Del, and the boys before taking the rest and climbing down. “Thank you, Mr. Lefty!” She returned his wave before hurrying to the trading post.

  An orderly crowd choked the doorway. She eased in, clutching the utensils close to her. A multitude of language sounded around her, and she picked up on French immediately. It wasn’t in Del’s voice, certainly, and yet the words’ melody hit her heart. She swallowed against the threat of tears from missing him. Ellen stepped up to the front for her turn. “Hello, what can I get for these?” She held out the metal.

  The grizzled man rubbed his chin. “It depends, young lady. What do you want?”

  “Clothes. I need them for a small boy around two years old. Then, if I can, clothes for a ten year old boy.”

  “I might have something back here. Lemme check right quick, ma’am.” He turned and slipped into a back room.

  Other people helped customers around her. He’d probably expected Ellen to be asking on behalf of her children, thus called her “ma’am.” She sighed, not realizing she’d been holding her breath while waiting for his return. People on either side jostled her, and she didn’t care for the physical contact. Was that the way things were out here? Wide-open spaces were truly wide and open. But indoors? Not so much, it seemed.

  “Here we are, young lady.” He held up a small pair of pants. “This’ll be good for the small fry. While this….” The man spread out a larger pair and a shirt. “This is a whole outfit for your ten year old.” He shrugged. “I found a shirt for the baby, but it’s all boogered up. You throw in another knife or two, and I’ll throw in a sewing kit.”

  Ellen shook her head, unwilling to give up anything else. “I can’t. This is all I have. I will take the bad shirt, if you’d like.”

  He frowned. “It ain’t so much bad as torn up. Let me go get it and you can see for yourself.” The trader went back for only a moment before returning with a small shirt. The clothing had a rip down the front and no buttons. He laid it down on the counter. “If you had that knife, I could throw in some fasteners.”

  She smiled. “I truly can’t, but I will take the pants and good shirt, sir.”

  “Aw heck, ma’am. Go ahead and take all of it.” He pushed the clothes to her and took the silverware she pushed at him. “No one’s been interested in it before now. Reckon no one will be after this, either.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “Eh.” He waved a handful of utensils at her, grinning. “Go on with ya.”

  Ellen turned, smiling. She felt bad how the man missed out on getting a knife for his troubles but knew someone else would oblige him. Besides, she wasn’t giving up Pa’s pocketknife for no one and nothing.

  She hurried back to camp, tentatively smelling the clothes to see how clean they were. Dusty, but not unbearable. She saw Marie first at the wagon, rearranging the supplies.

  Her friend spotted her approaching and smiled. “There you are! Skeeter was asking about you and I said you were at the post.” She nodded at the clothes. “I’m betting the Winslows will be the best dressed at dinner tonight.”

  “I hope so.” Ellen held up the torn shirt. “Buster will have to wear the same shirt for now, but these pants look nice. He’ll be able to grow into them a little too.”

  “What? Let me see.” Marie took the defective shirt. “Oh, this isn’t bad at all. I’ll trust your sewing kit didn’t survive? No? Well, then, I’ll scare up some buttons and work on this tonight after supper.”

  The kindness touched her and her eyes filled with tears. Just letting them tag along had been so reassuring. Then with this good deed, she sniffled back a sob. “The trader offered to sell me a sewing kit, but I didn’t want to give up what I had left.”

  “Darling!” Her friend hugged her. “No! What did you trade for these? I never even thought of what you’d have to do.” She patted Ellen’s back. “Silly me, I should have asked before you left for the post.” Holding her at arm’s length, she added, “No more trading for you, young lady. Sam says we have six, maybe seven days left. We’ll take care of everything until then and you’re not to worry.”

  The words “until then” caused a little current of fear to race through her. “All right. I won’t worry for the next six, maybe seven days.”

  “Good.” She gave Ellen another hug before letting her go. “After that, Del will see to it you’ll never want for anything again.”

  She wanted to give in and completely believe her friend’s opinion. Still, life had taught her nothing is ever certain. “Can I rely on him?” she asked in a small voice.

  Marie’s jaw dropped for a moment until she recovered. “I don’t know what to say to that.” Lucky’s bugle interrupted for a moment, giving them the signal to move on. “I suppose you’ll just see when you see, Ellen.”

  The woman walked away as Buster and Skeeter ran up to Ellen. Their presence distracted her from the unpleasant feeling of having overstepped her bounds. “Hello, you two! Look what I found for you.” She held out the clothes for each boy.

  Skeeter took his first. “Huh.” He flung the shirt over his shoulder like a cup towel and held out the pants. “Do you want me to wear them now?”

  Buster draped his pants over his shoulder like his brother had done. The baby looked for the buttons while Ellen replied, “No, not unless you want to. I’ll need to wash your current clothes this evening.” She nodded at the wagons rolling away from them. “Let’s get going for now and change out later. Buster?” She held out her hand for him. “Come with me and I’ll tell you how I’m sewing up your shirt.”

  By the time they’d eaten their venison stew for supper, Marie was back to her usual chatty self. The lapse in good humor had been odd. Ellen couldn’t remember another time when her friend had stopped speaking to her specifically. She licked her lips. At least now she knew to keep her worries about Del to herself. Marie was fir
mly in his corner.

  “I know when I get home, the first thing I want is a hot bath.” Sam set his empty dish aside and leaned back. “How about you, Ellen?”

  She’d not expected him to ask her first and tapped her plate a few times, thinking. “My wish is I’d like a hot bath too, but I don’t want to copy you.”

  Lucky took both their dishes, clanking them into the wash pail. “I’d like to marry a pretty lady and her do all my washing for the rest of my life.” He waved off the catcalls from the other men about him and Jenny. Even Skeeter joined in teasing the young man until he blushed. “What about you, Lefty? You got any special plans?”

  “I’d like to see my Pa. He said get out and travel the country while I was young.” Lefty shrugged. “He knows about my hurt arm but said it don’t bother him none and come home so I can help farm. Come spring, I might just do that.”

  Lucky set the full pail in front of Arnold. “You’re washing up tonight, right?”

  Stretching, Arnold said, “I guess so. A nice bed is going to feel good once I’m back.”

  Marie smiled. “That’s my choice. At this point, I don’t care if it’s straw tick or goose down, I’d like a real bed.”

  Buster crawled into Ellen’s lap. She held him, rocking a little so he’d relax and sleep. Skeeter helped Lefty spread out the beds before settling down with him. She kept an eye on the two, soon joined by Lucky, as they began playing cards. When her little brother began snoring, Ellen eased over to their bed. She snuggled in under the cover and fell asleep to her younger brother’s giggling.

  Hissing whispers woke Ellen.

  “What? How many?”

  “Two. No one’s seen them.”

  “All right.” Sam sighed before rustling around. “They couldn’t have gone far. Start searching and I’ll join you.”

  Ellen peeked to see him putting on his boots as Lucky went toward the creek. She sat up. “Do you need my help?”

  “No.” He pulled on his second boot. “Though if you’d start our coffee, we’d all be grateful to you.”

  She smiled. “I’d be glad to.” As soon as he left, she stoked the fire and hoped everything might be easy to find. She’d been rustling around in the wagon for a little while, trying to be quiet.

  “Looking for the coffee pot?” asked Marie. At Ellen’s nod, she pointed to a small trunk. “I put it in there to keep the dry goods dryer.”

  Ellen opened it and found everything she needed, plus breakfast fixings besides. “Should we start cooking, or wait for them to return?”

  “The boys will be hungry, so we can at least get them fed first.” Marie hopped into the wagon as Ellen got down from it. “If you get water, I can start everything else.”

  “All right.” She scooped up the pail, taking out the dishes. On her way to the river, Ellen realized she was looking for Del. She smiled at her habit. He was probably living the high life in Oregon City, eating stove-cooked food after having had a hot bath and sleeping the night in a feather bed.

  Her steps faltered when remembering how close she’d been to running away with him that day. If she’d left before Pa died? She shuddered, happy with the choice she’d made for her brothers’ sake. Back at camp, she poured water for coffee and biscuits.

  “It’s a bit cold this morning.” Marie took a blanket and wrapped it around her like a shawl. “Sam assures me summers are warmer than this usually. I think he’s just trying to appease me.”

  “Maybe so.” Ellen knelt by the fire. “We seem higher in elevation here than at home. The air is thinner and drier.”

  “He said the valley is lower and rainier. I can only hope his idea of warmer and wetter is my idea too.”

  She smiled at Marie, glad the silence was over between them, yet like a loose tooth she couldn’t leave alone, Ellen had to say something. “Marie, I know you have an affection for Del and I’m sorry for what I said earlier. He’s a wonderful man and I have no doubts about him.”

  “I understand. Later, when thinking about your situation, I realized you might not have much confidence in people staying alive for you.” She looked up at her friend. “I hope that came out as caring as I’d intended.”

  “It did. Or at least, I took it as such.”

  “Good.”

  “Is breakfast ready, ma’am?”

  Ellen turned to see Lefty behind her, tying his horse to their wagon. A sound from Skeeter caught her attention as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. Marie spoke first. “Not quite. You have time for your morning toiletries if you like.”

  The young man grinned. “Sure thing, ma’am.”

  Before she could say anything, Skeeter had their little brother up and out of bed. “Come on, Bust, let’s go.”

  “Don’t stray far; it’s about time to eat,” hollered Ellen after them. The trees weren’t as thick as Missouri’s forests, but a couple of boys could get lost. She breathed easier when they returned and wolfed down their meals.

  The excitement buzzing in the air dimmed only while people ate. Barlow’s Gate was on everyone’s mind and in all the conversations. She imagined it to be like Devil’s Gate but with a pathway through it instead of a river. It had to be something grand, a gateway to fertile land and civilization.

  “We might as well get started. I’m expecting a wait at Barlow’s.” Sam shook the dust from first himself then his seat. “I’ll tell the others and let them get ready to go.”

  She hopped up, pulling Buster to his feet also. They had folded bedrolls, washed dishes, and saddled or yoked animals by the time Sam came back. The wagon party began rolling, stopping early in a line of other groups. Ellen strained to see the huge gates and figured the landmark must be too far ahead to see from here.

  Buster tugged at her skirts with a guilty look on his face. She grimaced, checking his pants to find them dry. “Potty time?” The little boy nodded and she led him off the road to a more private area in the trees. She kept an eye out for the Granvilles, hurrying back once her brother was done. The wagon had already gone between two posts guarded by two men. Others milled around and she saw the Allens and Nelsons behind them.

  Past the posts, the road smoothed out and made walking easy. She glanced behind to check. That had to have been Barlow’s Gate. Ellen hurried ahead to see Skeeter and Marie walking together.

  “Your brother said the most adorable thing. He expected the Gate to be made of gold and silver with a Welcome to Oregon Territory sign.” She patted the boys back. “It’s a grand idea. I think he should write a letter suggesting that very thing.”

  Before she could think of how foolish it might sound, Ellen said, “I’d expected a canyon with tall spires on each side. Not two hitching posts.”

  Marie laughed. “It sounded that magnificent, certainly!” She nodded ahead. “I’m to take over for Lefty in a little bit. Sam and the men will need to guard the Allens’ cattle. As often as livestock gets lost in the timber, they’re expecting to bring back more than we started with.”

  “That will be handy.”

  “Yes, until we find their true owners.”

  Both women caught sight of Lefty’s wave, and Marie hurried to lead the oxen. Ellen stayed back with her brothers. The forest became denser with each mile, the blue sky peeking in between leaves and pine needles. The road descended into a valley, flanked by gentle cliffs caused by the river beside them. The narrow path barely allowed two wagons to pass each other.

  “I’m going to find the Allens,” said Skeeter.

  “All right. Stay close to us. No getting lost or hurt.” She smiled as he waved and ran off. Ellen looked to see one of the twins—she never knew which one—motioning to her brother. She scooped up Buster and settled him on her hip. No one stopped for the noon meal, and both Ellen and the baby grew cranky from missing lunch. She had to let him walk a little while, otherwise, he’d not stop untying her sunbonnet or smearing her glasses. He thought it great fun to mess up the lenses so she’d stop and clean them. As soon as she sat him down, his feet h
it the road and he hid behind a tree. She grinned, having figured out a game to play with him. “Goodbye, Buster. It’s been good being your sister. So long.”

  He ran up to her. “Sis! Hi! Here I am!”

  “What? Why, hello little boy. Have we met?

  “I’m Busser! Your brother!”

  She hid a smile. “Oh, I don’t know. I said goodbye to him a long while back.”

  “I’m him! I’m me!”

  Ellen laughed. “No, I’m pretty sure you’re not Buster.” She kept up the game for a while, letting him try to convince her of who he was. When the boy stopped to yawn, Ellen picked him up and tickled him. “You giggle like my brother. Why! I think you are my brother!”

  He gave her a hug, burying his face in her neck. “I told you!”

  The hills seemed more like mountains as they climbed up and then braced for going down. Just when Ellen didn’t think she could take one more step, it always seemed like they’d reach a peak of some sort. The view of Mount Hood’s beauty rewarded her. Plus, going downhill appealed to everyone but those responsible for braking the wagons. The sun was still well above the mountaintops when they rolled into a small valley. The sudden width and absence of trees felt good. With months out on the open prairie, she’d not realized how closed in the timber seemed.

  The grass spread out like a blanket either side from the road. After what had seemed like a lifetime without fuel, wood was everywhere for the gathering. She marveled at the water’s clearness every time they crossed the creek. Ellen wondered if Del lived in such a place and knew he had to have a home in a similar valley. As the wagons formed their semicircle, she grinned. Now she’d have time to wash clothes, fix Buster’s new shirt, and maybe write in the family journal. Their blankets from the trunk smelled musty. They’d get a good scrubbing too. She shook her head at the thought of being happy to do laundry in the wilderness.