Serenity

by Ava O'Shay

  “Thank you for calling.” The woman hung up on him.

  Jolin checked the time. Four o’clock. If she got off at ten he would have six hours of coffee drinking to do. However, if he brought his computer he could get some serious work done on their Biology project and run a few things by her while she worked.

  Jolin grabbed his laptop, power cord and some of the research books they picked up at the library, wrote his mom a note and headed off for a study date with a cup of coffee.

  The place was dead when he pulled up, and he was able to park in the front of the shop. Too late for the high schoolers and too early for the college kids. He sat in the car for a minute watching Ren wipe down a few tables and visit with an elderly man drinking a cup of coffee. She smiled down at the old man, and Jolin felt his heart ache. God he needed her to come back to the house.

  He pushed open the creaky car door, gathered his stuff, and headed in for his marathon study session.

  Ren looked up when the bell above the door jingled. “Welcome to The…” her voice trailed off. Her eyes possessed the same red rimmed, glassy look as Quill’s. Shit she was stoned.

  She turned and walked behind the display counter.

  Jolin stopped just inside the door and weighed his options. He could run for the hills and chalk it up to a woman scorned and go back to his old life of homecoming and cheerleaders. Or he could grow a pair and fight for what he wanted. He eyed a table in a corner and went for option two. He set his stuff on the round table, took a breath, and headed for the counter. Ren kept her back to him, ignoring him.

  “I’d like to talk to you,” he said over the muffins.

  Ren turned on the steamer and drowned his voice out.

  The other worker, an older lady, stood in the doorway leading to the back of the store and watched their exchange. A smug smile on her face.

  Jolin waited until Ren was done. “That’s real mature,” he mumbled loud enough for her to hear.

  Ren turned and stomped toward him. “Yeah, and you’re the king of mature aren’t you?”

  Jolin forced himself not to retreat. He deserved her wrath, and he’d take it like the man he was trying to be.

  “I would like a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin please.” He tried to keep his voice light.

  “Fuck you,” she hissed under her breath, then looked over at where the woman was standing. A frown now on her face.

  “I think you misunderstood what happened today, and I need to talk to you.” Jolin tried again, following her along his side of the counter as she quickly put his order together.

  “You are so sure I’m going to hurt you that you are turning every little thing into me using you or deserting you. I told you I was here to stay. I am here to stay, and I will sit in that booth drinking coffee all afternoon until you get off so I can explain to you what happened today.”

  Ren put his coffee and muffin on a tray and slid it at him. “Six dollars.”

  “Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “I don’t even like coffee.” He slapped the money down on the counter.

  Ren crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. Her gaze screaming for him to fuck off.

  “Thanks.” He picked up the tray and headed back to his table. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” he said over his shoulder.

  “There’s nothing to talk about,” he heard Ren say behind him.

  “Well I guess we’ll find out when you talk to me.” Jolin slid in behind the table, pushing his coffee to the side so he could spread out his books and laptop.

  Ren looked over the tall display of muffins. Jolin tried to ignore her and immerse himself in the project, but he heard the quick click of her footsteps as she rushed to where he sat.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she spat.

  Jolin tried to keep his face calm and looked up at her. She had pinned her shorter chunk of hair up with a bobby pin, but wisps had come loose and floated around her face. Her makeup was beginning to fade with the day and the purple bruises were beginning to show. He glanced down to her arms, which were covered by a long sleeve shirt she wore under her work polo. He tilted his head and let a small grin hint at her. “I am working on our Biology project. We have to present what we have so far tomorrow and since we have nothing, I thought I’d work on it while I waited for you.”

  Ren’s gaze darted from Jolin toward the back of the shop, and then back again. She hesitated for a minute before she leaned her hands on the table and brought her face close to his. “I am not going home with you. I don’t want you here. I don’t want anything from you. And that includes your stupid monkey project.”

  Jolin willed himself not to back away from her anger. He kept his gaze on hers until she was done. “I wish I could take your mouth right here,” he whispered.

  “Fuck you. And your lies. Leave me alone.” She slammed her hands on the table and walked away.

  This was going to be harder than he thought.

  Serenity

  Wednesday, October 29

  8:00 p.m.

  Serenity leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. Jolin had been sitting at a table working on their project for four hours.

  “I think he likes you.” Brenda walked by, nudging her with a shoulder.

  “He’s an ass.” Ren pushed off the counter, grabbed a rag, and wiped down the counter for the hundredth time.

  Brenda put her hand on Ren’s, stilling her frantic movements. “Sweetie. Whether he is an ass or not, he has sat there for four hours waiting for you to calm down and talk to him. Whatever he did is it really so bad you can’t listen to him?”

  Ren turned around so Jolin wouldn’t be able to see their conversation. “Yes it is.”

  Brenda looked surprised. “What did he do?”

  “He made me believe in him.” Ren pushed past Brenda and went into the back room.

  She sat on the bench and rested her head in her hands.

  Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She reached around and pulled it out, running her finger along the screen to wake it up.

  Ren, I’m sorry Come home. Mom

  She pulled in a shaky breath. How much more was she supposed to take?

  “Ren?” She stiffened at the sound of Jolin’s voice.

  “You aren’t allowed back here. Employees only.” She slid her phone back into her pocket.

  “Brenda said it was okay.” He pointed behind him, and slowly came around to sit across from her.

  “I guess what I want isn’t important,” she muttered.

  “Not when you’re being unreasonable.”

  Ren glared at him.

  “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Jolin reached out to take her hands, but she pulled back.

  “I guess I’m not entirely clear on what happened today,” Jolin began.

  Ren got up and turned to walk away, but Jolin grabbed her. She looked at the floor and shook her head back and forth. “Nothing happened today. Just a normal day at one of America’s high schools.” She pulled her arm free. “Look, Jolin. It’s fine. Everything is fine. I’m going to be fine. My mom even texted me. She’s home. We’re fine.” Ren grinned at him.

  “Wow that’s a whole lot of fine going on with you.”

  “I’m not your problem.” Ren took a step back. She needed space between her and Jolin. She laid it on heavy last night, telling him he saved her and how she knew things were going to be okay when she saw him at school. What high school guy needs to hear that? He was getting his second chance, and she couldn’t stand in his way. She knew far too well second chances didn’t come around very often.

  “You aren’t a problem.” Jolin’s voice was so soft and filled with emotion. Ren couldn’t let herself be pulled in again. He may not know what was good for him, but she did and it wasn’t her.

  Ren laughed. “All I’ve ever been is a problem.”

  “Your stuff is at my house.”

  “What?” Her stomach dropped. Shit, Quill couldn’t even pick up her clothes without
screwing up. “Why? Didn’t Quill come by?”

  “Yeah, he did, but I told him I had it covered. You’re staying with me.”

  “No. I’m going home.”

  “Like hell you are.” Jolin took a step toward her, she retreated.

  “Look. I get it. The whole I’m a man and I can protect you scenario. But look…everything’s fine now. I know I was all weepy and whiny the other night. I was shook up with the fight and all. But now I’m going home. You can forget about what I said. It was the heat of the moment. The adrenaline of the fight. I’ll come by later in the week and get my stuff.” Ren tried hard to play the entire weekend off as nothing more than a scuffle, and she would be going home to a happy household with cookies and hot chocolate. She knew he wouldn’t fall for it, but it was all she had, and she was going to work it.

  Jolin laughed dryly. “You are so full of shit.”

  Ren narrowed her eyes at him and before she could stop herself the words flew out. “No, Jolin. You’re full of shit. Smooth words to make you feel like you’re saving someone when all you really need is to save yourself. And you know what, Joli?” She purposely used Elizabeth’s name for him. “You got your second chance so take it. It won’t come around again.” With that she turned and walked back into the coffee shop to finish her shift.

  Jolin returned to his table, gathered his things and left. A twenty dollar bill sat under his coffee cup waiting for her. She grabbed it and shoved it into the community tip jar. She didn’t need his charity. Under his muffin plate was a napkin with the words YOU’RE WRONG written across it.

  She may be wrong, but it was what was best for him even if he didn’t get that yet.

  Brenda locked up the storefront and shooed Ren out the back.

  Ren stood by the back door and contemplated her options. Her high tapered off and she wanted it back. She pulled out her phone and texted Quill.

  I need a ride.

  I’m wasted. Was his response.

  “Great,” Ren said to herself.

  Where? She figured she already knew, but had to be sure.

  Home

  Mom was home and was having a blow out of a party before they were kicked out. Ren failed them all. She couldn’t keep things together.

  Be there in a few

  It didn’t take long for her to walk home. The cold had finally come in and her thin sweater did little to stop it from entering her bones. By the time she got to the house, she was shivering uncontrollably.

  The music was pumping, but not as loud as usual. There weren’t too many cars along the street so the party might be smaller than usual. Wrapping her arms around her, Ren walked up the path and into the house.

  She saw Quill first. He was sharing a bong with a lady sitting almost on top of him and had a bottle of something hanging from his other hand.

  “Serenity!” her mom screamed and walked over, throwing her drunken arms around her neck. “Come on. We are having a welcome home party.”

  Ren scanned the room for the boyfriend but didn’t see him. Her mom wavered a little before noticing her expression. “He isn’t out yet,” she snapped.

  “I lost the house, Mom.”

  “I got the notice. We have until the end of the month. No worries!” She stuck her arms out and spun in a circle. “Tonight we welcome me home.”

  Ren rolled her eyes. The end of the month was two weeks away. She didn’t have the money to get them into a new place. She was going to have to call the case worker tomorrow. But tonight she was going to be what she was destined to be…A drugged out loser.

  Ren dropped her bag and headed straight for the bong. Grabbing the tube from Quill, she put the end in her mouth and drew in as much smoke as she could, holding it until she felt her lungs burning and numbness encroaching on her brain. Closing her eyes, she slowly blew it out. Quill’s expression was frozen in a stupid grin, he turned, grabbed the face of the woman next to him and started to make out.

  Ren leaned in and grabbed the bottle of Jack that was sitting at his feet. Distracted by his impromptu make-out session, he didn’t even notice. Settling back into a chair across the room, Ren took two large gulps of the liquid and watched the mess of her life unfold.

  Jolin

  Wednesday, October 29

  1:00 a.m.

  He was going crazy. He left The Perk at eight-thirty. He knew she got off at ten, and he needed to know she got home okay and Quill was true to his word to stick around.

  Quill probably didn’t pick her up, which meant she walked home. “Idiot,” he said to himself. He knew she wouldn’t ever ask him for help. She was too proud to have told him to take his second chance, and then ask for a ride. It was stupid to let her walk home alone.

  It was one o’clock in the morning when he finally couldn’t take it anymore and called Akeo.

  “What?” Akeo mumbled into the phone.

  “I’m worried about Ren.”

  “Oh my God!” Akeo mumbled. “Call her.”

  “She won’t answer. I need you to go to her house with me. I need to bring her back here.”

  Akeo didn’t answer for a minute.

  “Ke?”

  “Okay. Okay. I’m coming.”

  Akeo pulled into Jolin’s driveway with a baseball cap pulled down low, wearing an old pair of sweats and a hoodie.

  “Don’t change or anything.” Jolin laughed.

  “Dude. This is your deal. I’m just providing back up. I don’t need to look good.”

  “Whatever.”

  Akeo pulled out into the street.

  Jolin watched him as he maneuvered their way to Ren’s. Akeo’s dad was from Korea and his mom was American. He had immense pressure put on him by his dad and Jolin hadn’t been there for him when he needed it.

  “Ke. I’m sorry about you and your dad.”

  Akeo looked over at him. “What are you talking about?”

  “I should have been there for you when the college stuff fell apart.” Jolin was trying to be a better friend, but Akeo didn’t seem to seek him out when things went wrong.

  Akeo pulled along the curb in front of Ren’s house. He turned to face Jolin. “Look man, you have been there when I asked you to be. You were in a coma for days. We didn’t know if you were going to be okay. My college admission wasn’t important.”

  “I wasn’t in a comma.”

  “Whatever. You were unconscious. It screwed with your head. It still is. Having important things taken away changes your perspective. I shouldn’t have been so hard on you, but seeing you in the hospital, and then my dad and the college thing. I had a lot of shit going on and took it out on you. You’re a good guy, Jolin. You have always been a good friend to me. Don’t stress. We’ll get Ren out of there.”

  “Thanks bro.” Jolin grabbed Akeo’s shoulder and gave him a shake.

  The music was blaring and a group of people were moving from inside the house to the porch and back again. It was cold and there was a stream of condensation coming from their mouths, not to mention the smoke from what was either pot or cigarettes.

  A tall young man stumbled out the door and into one of the older women dressed in a skin tight T-shirt and jeans. She grabbed his mouth and pulled it to hers in a disgustingly wet and graphic kiss. Jolin cringed at the site. As the guy pulled away, the porch light caught his face, and Jolin could see it was Quill. Apparently the family was bonding over alcohol.

  He waited and watched for twenty more minutes and when he saw no sign of Ren, he couldn’t take it any longer and got out of the car. If Quill was there, at least he could pretend he was looking for him.

  “Hey.” Jolin nodded at the crowd as he brushed past them. Look like you belong and all is good, he thought.

  There was a smoky haze in the room that made it look like a fog had moved in. People were sprawled everywhere in various positions of intimacy. He scanned the room looking for Ren’s colorful hair. She wasn’t in the living room, so he moved into to the kitchen. No one seemed the least bit interested in
him. She was probably hiding out in her room. He pushed past a couple kissing in the doorway and scanned the small dining area.

  No Ren.

  “I’ll check upstairs. Keep looking around down here,” Jolin directed Akeo.

  A loud crash sounded behind him, and then someone screamed.

  Jolin whipped around in time to see Ren stumble down the stairs with her arm wrapped in a bloody towel.

  “What the hell?” he said heading toward her.

  Ren fell into Akeo, brought her free hand to his face, and pulled his mouth to hers.

  Jolin made it across the small living room in two strides, grabbed Akeo by shoulder and shoved him off of Ren.

  Akeo looked confused for a minute, then laughed. “Dude?”

  “Fuck you.” Jolin shoved him again. Akeo hit the wall next to the door, letting go of his hold on Ren.

  Ren stumbled, then slid to the floor.

  “Dude. She kissed me.”

  “Help me get her out of here.”

  Akeo frowned. “She’s wasted man. And she’s bleeding all over. What the hell?”

  “I’m taking her home.” Jolin kneeled next to Ren. Her head was listing to one side. She mumbled something incoherent, probably a complaint about coming to his house. He grabbed her chin and tried to get her to wake up, but other than a flutter of her lashes, she was out. She reeked of pot and alcohol. He slid an arm under her legs and hoisted her up. All this time, not a single person acknowledged what was going on.

  Together he and Akeo shoved her into Akeo’s car. When she was situated, Jolin leaned against the door and faced Akeo. “She has a cutting issue.”

  Akeo scuffed his foot on the sidewalk. “Apparently.”

  “She has fucked up coping skills.” Jolin shoved his hands in his pockets.

  “Apparently,” Akeo repeated.

  “We better get her to my house and check out her arm.” Jolin walked around the car and slid in.

  They sat in silence on the ride. The only sound being the soft mumbles of Ren in the back seat.

  When they pulled into his driveway, Jolin reached out and grabbed Akeo’s shoulder. “Thanks man.”