Attainment

by J H Cardwell

  Chapter 25

  It was Tony, Carter's dad. "Hello Reese...."

  He looked like he had been run over by a mack truck. He had just lost his youngest son, Carter, just days before. He was most certainly in mourning, as I'm sure his wife Lisa, and his oldest son, Josh were. Carter was much too young to die, at 18 years old. But, I couldn't get past him being the one who had raped me and left me. I had never imagined Carter would have done anything so vile in all of my life. I had loved him, after all. I was devastated when he left me, and even more destroyed when I found out he was able to go about life and never let on that he had raped me. He took my innocence...I thought he loved me. What I thought was his love, must have merely been a sick infatuation.

  "Tony, what...I mean why are you here?" I said with an obvious look of confusion, and maybe a little discomfort on my face. Why was he here to see me? I've known Lisa for years through my mom, but I've never once spoken directly to Tony. "My parents aren't here right now, but they should be back shortly," I said, thinking that must be why he was here.

  "That's nice Reese, but I'm not here to see them, I'm here to see you," he said with a monotone and stern voice.

  "Me?” I know my voice was a little to shrill. “Okay, well that’s nice of you." What in the world, I was using his same adjectives. He had me a little flustered, I think.

  "Yes, I was just checking to see how you were feeling. Lisa has been keeping up with your recovery through your mom, and I just wanted to see for myself," he said. What a strange comment. All of a sudden you’re interested in me?

  "Well, I had a rough few days it seems, but I’m doing much better now...thank you. And, Tony, I’m truly sorry for your loss, I am." I was...but I was also so torn on why I wasn't as sad now as I should be. I was having a moral war with my emotions. Ever since I found out he was my rapist, I wasn't quite sure how I felt about his death. "Carter and I...I think we were in love once...I can't believe he’s gone." I looked down at my hands, twisting my fingers over and over.

  "Yes well, I’m sorry you were shot Reese. Your situation could have been much worse. I had no reason to think Carter had a gun...I mean you have no idea how shocked I was by that. Anyhow, Liz says there was some confusion that night, and you thought you saw me there. I just want to say that is absurd Reese. I was at home with Lisa, we both heard of Carter's death at the same time." He bent his head down, silence ensued for a couple of minutes. When he raised his head, his red eyes were filled with tears and mine as well. "I can't believe he’s gone...My Carter, he’s gone. I never meant...I mean I never imagined I would lose him so young." He said. I was really confused by his comment, but I was overwrought with sorrow for this man. I can't begin to know what it must feel like to lose a child. I hope I never find out.

  "There’s something else Reese. I....I heard your boyfriend had Carter's DNA looked at for a case that happened over a year ago..." He stared in my eyes, "something you claim was rape back then." Something 'I claim', what does he mean by that, I thought? "Anyhow, I don't know what really happened, I just know Carter was incredibly upset when we left town over his mom and me. I suggest instead of looking for ways to blame the dead, Reese, you see who really is at fault for all of this....I think you’ll be really surprised...In my opinion Tate is the reason everything spiraled out of control beginning over a year ago...including your rape, us leaving town, and now Carter's death...I’ll never forgive him. Why don't you ask him about it...I was pulling for you and..." he was crying, "you and Carter to be together. He loved you like no other Reese.” Then he bowed his head and started crying again. "Tate Justice is no good. Ask him what he did to my marriage." I had heard the whole story of course from Carter and Tate. It just sounded so much more official coming from Tony. "Like I said, Carter was a good son. I don't know what happened...physically...between the two of you. But, I do know he became a different person after Lisa and I split up." He looked down again, his shoulders shaking. The final look he gave me was one of total despair.

  I wasn't sure what all he had just said, or what he truly meant by it. But one thing I knew for sure...this man was devastated. Now was not the time for me to argue with him about any of it.

  "I'm sorry again, Tony..." I reached out my hand in the air as a token of my sympathy for this man. He merely held out his hand too, then bowed his head and said "Reese, I wish you well," and walked out.

  I had never thought of any of this really being Tate's fault. I couldn't think of that now. I just couldn't go down that road. I needed him, and he needed me. I had my hands over my face and was weeping into them when Tate returned with my coffee. He couldn’t get across the room fast enough to comfort me.

  "Reese, what is it, what’s wrong? Did something happen while I was gone?" He had set down my coffee, and sat on the edge of my bed, his hand on mine, and his eyes fixed on me.

  "Tony was just here and…"

  "What? Why was he here? What did he want?" Tate said, just as confused as I was.

  "He says he just wanted to see how I was doing, and tell me he was sorry for Carter accidentally shooting me. God Tate, that still just sounds so weird. I mean, I can actually say I have been shot..." I was still so much in awe of that fact. I had never known anyone to be shot, much less someone my age. "I’m so thankful the bullet hit the upper lobe of my right lung. A few more inches one way or the other...and I might not be here." I choked up on the last words. This was just now actually registering with me.

  "Oh God Reese, I'm the thankful one. I can't quit thinking about how you looked that night.”

  Tate’s face turned pale, and he started shaking his head.

  “My heart literally stopped beating seeing you unconscious and bleeding on the ground. Your small frame not moving...Your breathing was slow and shallow...I didn't know what to do to save you, so...after I called 911, I prayed." Tate covered his face with his arm. "I was praying out loud as Carter was dying right beside of you. His eyes were open, and I heard him Reese...he started praying...he started praying for...you Reese. I heard him....I heard him." Tate was sobbing, his whole body shaking. I couldn't speak or move. "As soon as I heard that, I knew he was dying...so I immediately told him I was sorry it had to end this way. I was holding your chest where you were shot, and not doing anything for him. So I looked at him and asked him if he was saved and he was barely able to get out that he was....his speech was garbled, but he said he hadn't lived for Jesus like he should, but that he was hoping God would forgive him. Then...then he looked right at me and said he had made a lot of mistakes...but that he had loved you, Reese."

  Oh God...I closed my eyes wishing Carter was back alive so I could talk to him again...My counselor had told me early on in my sessions that whomever had done this (my rape), would be 'handled' in due time. I guess she was right. Carter had made a horrible choice and he was certainly handled...The question still was how? How was he actually shot, and by who? Was there a mistake that the bullets didn't match? Maybe they were wrong. Otherwise, there was a missing gun, and obviously a missing shooter. It couldn't be Tate...right? No...Now it was time to protect Tate. I was staring at him...

  I couldn't believe what all Tate had witnessed, and what Carter had said and done. My heart was utterly ripped open. I reached out for Tate...this beautiful man who would forever be changed from what he experienced. "I'm sorry you had to see me and Carter like that Tate....I'm so proud of you...for what you said to Carter. I had no idea that in his final moments he would be so…giving. After realizing what he had done to me last year, I wouldn't have thought he was capable of that..."

  After a few moments I motioned for Tate, "Please come lay with me Tate. I need you to hold me...please. Life is so fragile. Our life together...we've made a lot of mistakes..." I was crying harder "But I love you...I love you so much." He had climbed in my hospital bed, careful not to dislodge any wires or tubes. As his big strong arms engulfed me, I was covered in his love...There was a peace in knowing we had made it out on the other side of all of
our trauma thus far. We would work through our coming problems (and I was sure there would be some...)... But, we would get through them...together.

  Chapter 26

  Days passed, and I gradually got better. I was finally being discharged from the hospital tomorrow. It couldn't come quick enough. My lung was functioning normally now, and my chest tube was out. I had managed to keep any infection at bay by taking IV antibiotics...luckily. That had been the doctor's biggest concern. My head was still a little bruised, but my headaches weren't nearly as severe. I was ready to sleep in my own bed and be able to sleep through the entire night without interruptions, and strange beeping noises. Tate had just left for the evening. Everyone knew him well, here at Baptist. The nurses adored him. I saw them constantly eyeing him up and down, and trying to strike up a conversation. He had been here every day, hours at a time. I felt SO lucky to have him.

  My mom and dad had been by earlier as well. Mom had stayed with me at night in the beginning... before I had officially woken up, and then every night afterwards. This was the first and only night I would stay alone. I was glad she was able to go home and sleep in her own bed. I would be fine, but I had to make her leave me here alone.

  I was reading a new book, and listening to music when there was a soft knock at the door.

  "Hey! So you’re getting sprung tomorrow?"

  It was Elle, Maura, and Chloe. They were a sight for sore eyes.

  "Hey to y'all! Yes, thank God. I will be leaving early in the morning. I can't wait to get back to a normal life. I mean we only have three weeks left before we have to leave for Wake Forest, to move in." I said.

  "Don't remind me," said Chloe. "I'm going to be so sad when we are all broken up this fall. Maura is going to hate me by the end of the first semester...I'm sure of it. I mean, she’s going to get so sick of me being in her business. After all, I’m so use to helping all of you out..." She and Maura would leave in three weeks for UNC Wilmington...near the beach. I was sort of jealous for that. But, Wake Forest was where Tate, Elle, and Finn would be, and where I would have my scholarship.

  "Um...I'm not sure 'help' is the right word for what you do for us Chloe...maybe more like badger and instigate." I said, all of us laughing...except Chloe.

  "Hey...trust me, none of you would have been able to survive high school if I hadn't been there to steer you on the 'right' course." She said raising her eyebrows up.

  "You mean the wrong course..." She looked hurt, but we were chuckling. "I'm kidding Chloe. We love that you made us take chances...most of the time. But Chloe, you have to promise us you’ll think a little bit longer before you act in college. And Maura, don't hesitate calling us if you think she’s getting out of control. We’ll come and lock her in your room for you." I said. We all hugged. I knew we would see each other several more times in the coming days. But, it just seemed the closer we got to leaving for school, the more sentimental we became.

  Chloe got up and started pulling Maura up towards the door. "Hey, come with me...I saw a CUTE male nurse up the hall. I want to go see if I can think of a medical question to stump him with." She looked back at Elle. "Then, we better go guys...I'm sorry, but I need to talk to Brett on the phone before it gets too late."

  "Wait...you've been keeping up with him? Is he behaving?" I said. I really wanted to ask 'so how is John then', but I stopped myself. I couldn't think like that.

  "Brett's good Reese. He swears he’s keeping clean and working all the time. Love ya girl," then she jerked Maura "let's go."

  "Bye Reese...I love you...pray for me with this one," Maura said pointing to Chloe.

  "I will!...You’re going to need it!" I yelled.

  "I'll come find you two in a couple of minutes so we can go," yelled Elle. She had driven them here.

  "Reese, I hate I haven't had much time to come by and visit. I've been totally wrapped up helping my grandmother...you know, where she had fallen and broken her leg. It's hard on my mom to do it all. So, I was staying with her several days." She came a little closer. "Your color is better, but you still look so thin...We need to hang out at the cabin for a few days and veg out!"

  "It won't take long to put the weight back on, I'm sure. I haven't been able to do anything in here but eat. I’ll be a pile of mush by the time we leave for college."

  "You'll be fine. You could stand to lose a little bit of your perfectness...if it is only temporary."

  "Elle, you sound like Chloe!" I laughed. "Listen, I've been meaning to ask you about John," I said.

  Elle turned away from me and said "John? What about John?"

  I grabbed her hand and turned her to face me "Elle...what have you been doing?" She was looking all around the room, trying to act nonchalant. "I knew it...you've been texting him, haven't you?" I couldn't believe it. But, that explains how he knew.

  "Okay, I have...but don't be mad." She cringed and ducked a little. "I couldn't let him worry about you once he found out."

  "How did he find out? I mean. He knew within minutes of my waking up. I got a strange text from him," I said.

  Elle let out a long sigh. "Oh Reese. I don't know what to say. I can't explain it, but I feel a great need to keep him updated on you. He seems to...require it. He acts like he is your boyfriend and like he’s just...out of town or something. I don't know. The protectiveness he has over you is reserved for doting husbands...not short term dates. It's strange Reese, but I think he’s totally in love with you...or at least the thought of you...He's been texting me daily if not, every other day, to find out how you are. I like him of course, I like Tate too. If Finn was checking my phone, he would be mad at me for texting him so much, even if it was about you. Reese, I wish for your sake and his that he would find someone else...you know...get his mind off of you." She kept on...

  "Not long after we got back from the beach he called me to ask a lot of questions about Carter and Tate too for that matter. I was worried he was going to come see you while Tate was out of town, but he never did."

  Chloe stuck her head back in my room, "Elle, come on...we've got to go...I need to get home...bye again Reese. Love ya!"

  "We'll finish this later...okay. Love you..." Then she hugged me and took off.

  ***

  It was almost 10 pm well after visiting hours and I was still reading my book...but I had already dozed off several times. I must have finally fallen asleep, because the next I knew there was a hand touching mine. I startled and sat up, real quick. Dazed and confused, I looked all over but didn't see anyone. Then I heard a voice behind the head of my bed, where I couldn't see. "Reese, don't be afraid..." But I was, I was terrified...until the shadow left his face...then I realized…

  It was John.

  Oh my God, John was here. My beautiful beach god...here.

  "Am I dreaming?" I said. Somehow, I must have been.

  "No Reese," he lightly chuckled "I'm here. I hope you don't mind."

  "John...What time is it? How did you get in here?" I was amazed and curious at the same time. His blue eyes seemed even more sparkling than before.

  "I talked my way in...I hope you don't mind...I told them I was your brother." Oh my, I blushed...that would be kind of gross...since we have kissed and all, I thought.

  "Oh, there’s that sweet blush I've been missing." He came up closer to me, and rubbed the back of his fingers down my cheek. "Reese...I couldn't stand it any longer...I had to see you. I was waiting on all of your family and friends to leave.

  "Elle, she told you I was alone tonight...didn't she? Otherwise, how would you know?" I didn't know what I was going to do with her...but this time, she had crossed the line.

  "She doesn't really have a choice Reese. I basically ask her every question under the sun about you...I know she won't lie...so I eventually find out the truth."

  "She doesn't have to answer your call."

  "She knows I would call all day, every day if she didn't."

  I looked down in his hand. There was a blue box...Tiffany's. Oh my.
r />   "Here, this is for you." He stepped even closer. His familiar cologne was teasing my senses. "I wanted to shower your room with flowers, but I knew you would get too many questions. So, this is a little more subtle." He handed me the box. When I opened it, I felt light-headed.

  Subtle, who was he kidding. "I can't accept this John. I...can't." He was opening it up and getting it out. It was three diamond and gold bangle bracelets. If I were to guess, about $20,000 worth of jewelry! "You’re crazy...there is no way I can take these...they belong on a movie star, not me...and how would I explain these to Tate? Please tell me they’ll let you return these..." I tried to move my arm away, but he grabbed it and slid them on. I dropped my head to my hands and began crying.

  "John, why are you still doing this? I...I don't know what to say to you. You said you knew Tate would mess up, but he won't...and you have to know now, that I’m his...and he’s mine." John's face turned red, and he looked away, briefly. Then he reached down and cupped my face in his hands, wiping away my tears.