Vision of Love

by S. Moose

  “Mmmm yes Nicholas. I think of you touching me, making me moan your name.” Holy shit. I’m about to take her now until tomorrow morning. I’ll make sure she doesn’t forget my name and every time she moves she’ll think of me and remember our time together.

  She takes my hand and kisses it, sucking my index finger. Her tongue swirls and I swear I’m about to fucking come. “You’re such an ass,” she laughs pushing me away. “I’m going to bed! Have fun tonight,” she winks staring down at my hard fucking cock.

  “You’re pure evil.”

  “I know!” She laughs skipping to her room.

  Great what the hell am I supposed to do with this thing now? I groan in frustration thinking about anything else except the damn girl I can’t get out of my head. I check the fridge for something to eat and see a plate with foil over it and a note on top.

  Nicholas,

  Saved you pasta with Italian sausage. Emma said this is your favorite dish. Hope you love it!

  Karly

  “Wow,” I mumble. This girl is amazing, feisty and a tease, but pretty amazing. I heat the food up in the microwave, grab a beer and settle on the couch watching the news.

  My damn hard on finally calmed the fuck down. It’s the first time in my life that I almost came in my pants with just a little teasing.

  I pull out my phone and send her a text. I know she’s not sleeping yet.

  Me: I know you aren’t sleeping yet

  I wait for her response and get anxious. I can’t help but smile when I feel my phone vibrate.

  Karly: Yeah I am ;)

  Me: Liar. Thanks for being a tease…Is that your second job?

  Karly: Well, you were being rude and you’re welcome ;) Relieve yourself yet?

  Me: No, I’m waiting for you to help ;)

  I relax on the couch and wait for her response. This is going to be good. She takes my shit and throws it right back at me. My kind of girl.

  Karly: You can’t handle me

  My eyes nearly pop out of my head.

  Me: Oh yeah? Why don’t you come out here and show me

  I press send again, pleased with my response. I laugh thinking about her facial expression and how flustered she must feel.

  Karly: We’ll wake up Alexis and Emma…Plus you should stay away from me

  Me: It’s the other way around...You should stay away from me...

  She doesn’t text back. I’m not sure if the conversation is still on the same level anymore. I’m right when I tell her she needs to stay away from me, even though I don’t want her to, it’s better this way for the both of us.

  I hear the door open and see Karly coming down the hallway in her shorts and a zip up hoodie. Her hood’s up and she’s yawning. She settles on the cushion next to me eyeing the empty plate of food.

  “Was it good?” I nod. “What do you mean I should stay away from you?”

  I run my hand through my hair. “I have a lot going on right now,” I mutter, not being able to face her.

  “Oh I see.” I hear the hurt in her voice.

  I knew I shouldn’t have kissed her the other night but it was hard not to. She reaches a part of me that I’ve kept away for so long. She does something to me and as badly as I want her, I can’t take away her innocence. I’m not meant to be with anyone. I don’t want to fall in love again. I refuse to trust another woman, but she touches the part of me that I’ve kept hidden for a long time. How can I let her in when I don’t know how?

  “This shouldn’t have happened; kissing you and taking you out. We need to be friends. That’s all I can handle right now and I hope you can understand that.” It breaks my heart saying these words to her.

  I can see the hurt she’s feeling all over her face. She straightens her back and gets up from the couch. “Okay friends. That’s fine. I’m going to bed. See you tomorrow.” Before I say anything else, she’s gone.

  * * * * *

  The rest of the week goes by and I’ve been staying at work late, avoiding Karly. We haven’t talked much, just through text about Emma. I send in my RSVP response with a plus one. I’ll take Emma with me and it’ll be fine. Staying away is the best thing I can do right now.

  It’s nearly midnight by the time I get back to the apartment. As soon as I walk in there’s someone walking down the hall with Karly. What. The. Fuck.

  “Hey Nicholas. This is Bradley.” I extend my hand to him. Fuck Bradley? “He’s an old friend from Boston.”

  “Nice to meet you,” he smirks, taking my hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  “You too.” I keep my eyes on him trying to figure out what the fuck he’s doing here at midnight. Doesn’t she know she needs to get up early with Emma? “Karly don’t you have a long day tomorrow with Emma? You should probably get to sleep. Wouldn’t want you staying awake all night when you have to take care of my daughter tomorrow.” I turn away and feel the ice in her eyes.

  “I’ll text you later, alright?” I stalk to the kitchen and watch their interaction. He kisses her on the cheek and leaves. My fists are at my side as I take out a beer from the fridge and chug it down.

  “Who the hell do you think you are?” She loudly whispers. “Seriously? You’re an asshole.”

  I quickly turn to face her. “It’s almost midnight and you have your ex boyfriend here while Emma’s sleeping. What if she had woken up from a nightmare and needed you?” I know I’m being harsh and I know Karly would drop everything to take care of Emma, but my anger takes a hold of me. I unleash my fury on her and don’t hold anything back. “So you go from kissing me. Wanting me. To him?”

  She slaps me across the face with tears in her eyes. “You have no right to say this to me!”

  “I’m gonna let that slap go, but if you hit me again you will regret it.”

  Her face is inches from mine. I see everything she’s feeling-anger, sadness, heartbreak. “What? You gonna hit me?”

  I control my tone, “No,” I respond through my clenched teeth. “I’d never hit a woman, especially you.”

  “Then what the hell are you talking about?” She’s testing me and I’m going to lose it on her.

  “Slap me again and find out,” I mutter.

  “Go to hell,” she hisses, walking away from me.

  I know I should go after her, but I’m too pissed off. How the hell can this woman make me happy and pissed in a matter of seconds?

  Chapter 10

  Karly

  Emma and I spend the day with Patricia and Dan. They have the day off and asked us to come over for lunch and spend time with them. Emma doesn’t have school yet and I’m running out of ideas to keep her entertained. I love spending time with Emma, but there’s only so much we can do.

  “Honey you okay?” Patricia asks, handing me a plate of salad.

  “Yeah I’m okay,” I smile trying to forget about the night before.

  This morning wasn’t comfortable at all. Alexis and Emma stayed quiet as Nicholas and I avoided each other. The tension was there and it killed me knowing how much of an asshole he was. I hated this side of him. I hated that he felt the need to treat me the way he did last night. I’ve been waiting for an apology, but I don’t think I’m getting one.

  “Is my son being difficult?” Dan looks at me waiting for an answer. I’m not sure what to say. Patricia sits down next to me waiting for an answer as well.

  I groan, looking at my plate of food. “We aren’t getting along, but everything’s fine.”

  “Karly and daddy are mad at each other Grandma and Grandpa. They didn’t talk at all this morning,” Emma reports, picking at her chicken. “Aunt Alexis said they’re on a time-out right now.”

  My face turns bright red and I can’t face them. Everyone’s pretty quiet until Dan clears his throat and starts talking.

  “I know my son is stubborn, but be patient with him. He’s had it rough. I’m not saying you haven’t but I’ve seen the two of you together.”

  “It’s nothing, Dan. No worries. Nicholas is
my boss and we have a professional relationship. We talk about Emma and what needs to be done. Everything is great. Peachy,” I lie through my teeth. I look at them and know they’re not buying what I just said.

  “Alright dear, but if you need anything let us know.” Patricia smiles. We spend the rest of the afternoon finishing lunch and walking the beach. Emma’s having a great time and I love watching her free and happy.

  “I know my son is very difficult. He hasn’t been the same since Jamie left him, but now that he’s back and he has you,” Patricia says, placing her hand on mine. “He’s different with you. He smiles and I haven’t seen my son smile like that in years.”

  I take in what she says and let it linger in my mind. If she’s right, then maybe being friends is all he can handle right now. Patience. I like Nicholas and know he’s worth waiting for. I’ll just tuck away those feelings for now and be there for him whenever he needs me.

  Later that evening, after putting Emma to bed, Nicholas comes home and sits down next to me. Neither of us says anything for a few moments.

  “So my house is done and we’re moving in this weekend. I know we haven’t talked much, but I’d like you to move in and still be Emma’s nanny. It’ll be easier for both of us.” He doesn’t look at me.

  I take his hand in mine, “Whatever you need Nicholas.” His eyes meet mine and we stay like this. It’s nice. I let out a sigh, “Wanna watch a movie? You look kinda stressed.”

  “A movie sounds good.” He finally relaxes and I pop in Killers. We both need a good Ashton Kutcher movie tonight.

  “Popcorn?”

  “Sure.”

  See I can do this. We can be friends without me wanting to jump on him and make hot passionate love. I’ll be fine. The microwave sounds letting me know the popcorn is done. I grab a yellow plastic bowl from the cabinet and pour the popcorn in it. I get back on the couch, throw my legs underneath me and press play.

  “Thanks for this. I need it,” he whispers, still not looking at me.

  “Whatever you need, Nicholas.” I place my head on his shoulder and entwine my fingers with his. Instantly his body relaxes and when I look up there’s a small smile on his face. Baby steps.

  * * * * *

  After nearly thirty hours, from Friday to Sunday, we’re finally moved in. My body hurts and I’m sore. We hired movers, but we still needed to get things moved around.

  The house is beautiful. It’s a mini version of the house Nicholas and Alexis grew up in. The front porch wraps around the entire house and leads down to the private beach. The five bedroom house overlooks the ocean with a perfect view of the sun rising and setting. The large backyard holds an inground pool and a playground for Emma. Everything is beautiful. We decorated the living and family rooms making the house feel homey. All the furniture is simple and nice with paintings and family pictures filling the home.

  “Karly come out with me!” Emma shouts and runs to the backyard. She’s in her bathing suit, running and jumping in the warm pool. I shudder thinking about being near one. It’s been so long and I can’t shake off my fears. I close my eyes and silently count to ten.

  “Come in with me!”

  “No honey not tonight. Don’t stay in for long because you need to get to bed. You have school tomorrow!”

  Emma covers her mouth and pretends to cough. “I’m so sick Karly. I don’t think I can go to school.”

  My little drama queen! “Well I guess you’ll just stay home with me and clean. There’s still sooooo much to do,” I exaggerate.

  “Not fair,” she pouts.

  I sit on one of the chairs, lean back and relax. It’s been a long weekend and I’m ready for bed! Things between Nicholas and I are pretty good for the most part. Sometimes I feel like he’s avoiding me and the situation, but I keep reminding myself to give him space and time.

  “Can we talk?” Oh shit that voice. I slowly turn around and see Nicholas standing behind me wearing sweat pants and a tight black shirt, which accentuates his beautiful, mouth-watering muscles. Oh my.

  “I wanna get Emma ready for bed then I’m all yours.”

  His eyes are dark and hooded after I tell him that. Without saying anything else, Nicholas turns around and walks away. What the hell does he wanna talk about?

  After a few more minutes I get Emma out of the pool and ready for bed. She changes into her Princess pajamas and slides under the covers. We snuggle and talk about the weekend and the new house. Soon her breathing steadies and when I look down her adorable face is peaceful and in a deep sleep.

  Slowly moving away, I head downstairs and find Nicholas in the kitchen sitting at the table with a glass of Whiskey in his hand. “You okay?”

  He looks up and there’s an unreadable expression on his face, “Yeah. Fine.”

  Okay, what’s going on now? I grab a bottle of Moscato from the fridge and pour myself a glass. It’s been a long weekend and I need a reward. I pull out the chair and sit down across from him. I can’t figure him out. “What’s wrong?”

  He lets out a heavy sigh and knocks back his drink. “I don’t know. Having you here in the house with us is harder than I thought.”

  “Okay so do you want me to move out?”

  “No!”

  “Then what’s wrong? We lived together at the apartment and now we’re living together at your house. What’s the big deal?”

  Nicholas gets up and steps closer to me, twisting the chair so I’m facing him. This is not what I was expecting for tonight. “It’s hard. You’re doing great staying away from me and looking at me like a friend, but I fucking hate it Karly. You’re all I fucking think about. There’s more about me that you don’t know. I don’t want to drag you through my bullshit. Look at you. You’re perfect…” his voice trails off and I lean in to kiss him. It’s a simple kiss and I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I needed to.

  “I’m not perfect either. We’re gonna learn more about each other as the days turn into nights.” I hold his face in my hands, “I’m not perfect and neither are you, but we’ll be perfect for each other. I’ll wait until you’re ready Nicholas.”

  “No Bradley?” He quietly mutters.

  I lift his face up and look into his eyes, “No Bradley. He’s my friend and that’s all there is.” I kiss him again and head upstairs after saying good night.

  Once I’m in my room I fall on my bed and let out a frustrated cry. My heart pounds in my chest and all I can think about are his eyes and the way he stares at me. The depths of his soul are in his eyes, and each time we look at one another, a piece of his soul belongs to me. I’m not sure how we can still be friends. The electric charge between us is undeniable. His kisses make me weak. His eyes make me melt. That smile, wow, his smile, makes the world stop and everything seem clearer.

  Chapter 11

  Nicholas

  “Good morning Mr. Hayes.” Leslie, my personal assistant, comes in with a large cup of coffee.

  “Good morning Leslie. Have a seat and tell me what’s on the agenda today.” She rattles off a few meetings and I make some notes.

  “Do you need anything?” She asks getting up from the chair.

  “Yeah actually,” I write down the address and hand her the paper. “Can you have flowers sent to that address, please?”

  Leslie looks down and smiles. “Mr. Hayes?”

  “Thank you Leslie,” I give her a smile before she heads out of the office. I grab my coffee and notebook to head to my first meeting of the day.

  Back to back meetings again today. When I get back to my office there’s a few messages on my desk and cell phone. I ignore the messages on my desk and unlock my iPhone to read the text messages.

  Alexis: You little shit! You like Karly!

  Mom: Nicholas Landon is there something you need to tell me?

  Alexis: You got her smiling! Just be careful and remember what I said. Slow Nicky

  Mom: I’m happy for you if you’re happy Nicholas. Just be careful. She’s very special to all
of us

  I get messages from everyone but not from Karly.

  Me: I’m glad you like the flowers.

  She doesn’t respond. I look at the clock and see I have another meeting in ten minutes. “Come on Karly text me back,” I whisper. I thought the flowers could show her how sorry I am for some of the things I’ve said. A few minutes go by and still nothing from her. I can’t wait any longer. I grab my notebook and laptop and head out to my meeting. Maybe when I get back there’ll be a text waiting for me.

  The back-to-back meetings are getting old. Every Monday is the same thing. Each merger, each plan of attack, each report is exhausting. It’s a little past one in the afternoon when I head back to my office. I immediately look at my phone and smile. A text from Karly.

  Karly: Thank you for my flowers! They look beautiful =) We’ll see you tonight. Oh! And enjoy your lunch!

  Before I can text her back Leslie walks in with a bag. “What’s that?”

  “Your lunch. Karly dropped it off.”

  “Thanks Leslie.” She leaves my office and I open the bag, taking out the containers. I wonder what she got me. I open the boxes and smile.

  Me: Thanks for the sushi. How’d you know sushi is my favorite?

  Karly: You’re welcome…Alexis told me =) Enjoy! Emma and I are gonna go down to the beach.

  Pulling into the driveway I walk in the house and the aroma of food hits my noise. After my quick lunch I had to finish an extensive report for Peterson. My brain is fried and I need a night to stop thinking about work.

  “Daddy you’re home!” Emma jumps in my arms and we walk in the kitchen. Karly’s by the stove cooking and I can’t take my eyes off her. She’s wearing tight black leggings and I swear her ass got bigger. How is that possible? I walk up to her with Emma in my arms and peek over her shoulder.

  “Smells good.”

  She nudges my stomach, “Go away and get ready for dinner.” I look in the frying pan and see chicken cooking in a buttery sauce. I can’t wait to eat. Emma leaps out of my arms and grabs the plates. She sets the table and wanders in the living room to finish watching her cartoons.